Out - Page 2

Red · #16 07-20-2006, 09:45 PM

My first roommate was a lesbian (still is I'm sure

) and she couldn't find a way to tell her mom even though she thought there was a chance she would be okay with it. So one Christmas, when she was 17, she gave her mom a bunch of presents. The last one was a book, titled something like "How parents accept their gay children". Her mom burst into tears and once she calmed down, put her arms around her. They've been alright ever since.

I thought that was a very bold way to out herself, but for someone who just couldn't say the words, I thought it was the right thing to do. Her mom had an immediate reference as to how to deal!

She had thought about saying it all "subliminally". She thought she could be at the dinner table, chatting away and then say "so I'm a lesbian, could you pass the salt?"

That would've been damn funny.

foxyluva · #17 07-20-2006, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red

She had thought about saying it all "subliminally". She thought she could be at the dinner table, chatting away and then say "so I'm a lesbian, could you pass the salt?"

That would've been damn funny.

Ha! One of my friends came out to his mother that way - "Mum, Im Gay. Pass the Potatoes."

carrie721 · #18 07-21-2006, 12:02 AM

I've known forever, but I didn't really accept it about myself until I was, oh, 19. I told some of my friends when I was 20, and I never told my parents, but my mom asked me about the rainbow sticker on my car, and then promptly freaked out. She's okay with it now, but it really wasn't pretty at first ...

Now most of the people I work with know, and most of my friends. I don't broadcast it, aside from the small rainbow bumper sticker on my car. My mom doesn't understand that about me - she doesn't get why I just like to be "Carrie" instead of "GAYCarrie." Oddly, even though she freaked out when I told her, she's the GSA advisor at her school. :shrug"

amber · #19 07-21-2006, 12:07 AM

I didn't know you were gay! I was just about to say "oh, it's too bad you weren't around when Hillary was" then I realized you are totally friends with her. Duh-huh, Der.
I'm glad it worked out, your mom sounds pretty cool. My mom asked me if I was gay in highschool.

*So.Embarrassing*.

So, what's your style? This town is like, lesbian mecca of the world, I love it (Except when two groups of lez at my neighborhood gay bar get mad at me simultaneously for accidentally taking a cig, and other reasons I have no idea about, because I'm a friendly drinker, then the doorman says I have to leave. That was just the one time.),
I see every style. I'm only saying that because I like styles in general - clothes, jewelry (peircings), hair. There is a good variety here. There's all these cute short haired asian lezzies - I just notice because it's hard to look good with short hair...

carrie721 · #20 07-21-2006, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

I didn't know you were gay!

Most people are surprised!

Quote:

I was just about to say "oh, it's too bad you weren't around when Hillary was" then I realized you are totally friends with her. Duh-huh, Der.
I'm glad it worked out, your mom sounds pretty cool. My mom asked me if I was gay in highschool.

*So.Embarrassing*.

So, what's your style? This town is like, lesbian mecca of the world, I love it (Except when two groups of lez at my neighborhood gay bar get mad at me simultaneously for accidentally taking a cig, and other reasons I have no idea about, because I'm a friendly drinker, then the doorman says I have to leave. That was just the one time.),
I see every style. I'm only saying that because I like styles in general - clothes, jewelry (peircings), hair. There is a good variety here. There's all these cute short haired asian lezzies - I just notice because it's hard to look good with short hair...

Dude, my mom has been asking me since, like, 7th grade if I was gay. She read my journal in 8th grade and I said something about maybe being gay, and she totally freaked out and stayed up crying until like, 4 a.m. begging me to tell her if I was. My mom can be cool, but ... she can also not be.

I don't really have a "style," which is why a lot of people are surprised when they find out. I'm not butch, I'm not femme, I'm not a man-hater, and I haven't been on a date in ... uhh ... let's change the subject.

carrie721 · #21 07-21-2006, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

So your style is just regular. Do you have long hair? Do you like clothes, and look hot, or not care so much? Do you look so regular as to be indistinguishable? No secret nipple piercing?

(It does make them look better, btw). I guess so, you said people are usually suprised.

Did you tell your mom you were at the time? Guess not?

My mom is mad at me now because I haven't had a child.

oops, didn't mean to talk about non-out things.
You should come out for TP in Sept. Oh, you'll have a date then!

There is hella pretty lesbians here, too. This one gorgeous one with long curly dark hair, and exotic features asked me out once. I was like "damn! You're so pretty I wish I wanted to go out with you!"

Haha. Yeah, I'm sure my mom will be mad at me if I never have kids, too. I totally want to go to TP ... I'll PM you.

Oh, and yeah, I guess I'm regular. I have long hair (well, shoulder-length), and although I'd never describe myself as hot, I'm also not fug. I like to look girly.

DrummerDeanna · #22 07-21-2006, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

I just notice because it's hard to look good with short hair...

well...ok you're actually right.

I've been all over with myself on the sexuality thing - and now I don't label - I take things as they come. Many don't believe bisexuality exists - but from first hand experience it's possible to be sexually attracted to and even fall in love with someone of either sex. I've been there.

But in high school when there is so much pressure to fit into one group or another I came out as a lesbian - I was so out and obnoxious - had a big old gay crowd though - it was a really cool time actually. I had a big rainbow patch on my backpack, wore freedom rings, cut my hair - thought I had to fit into a stereotype...

Now - I just sort of go with the flow...though after being burned and I mean BURNED by one evil and horrid (yet oh so wonderful) woman - I haven't really had the energy to go that route....of course I'm also in the midst of one of the worst dry spells in human history.

Anyway, I digress...I was totally not subtle about it - not at school anyway - at home I was dropping mad hints (of course the giant Melissa Etheridge poster should have tipped my mom off a little) - and finally my sister asked me if I was gay - I said I was....she was supportive but had a rough time with it.

My mom? CRIED CRIED CRIED. Then called my aunt's (by marriage) sister who is a transexual to ask her what to do about me

Rose laughed at my mom...then my mom started going to PFLAG

Fast forward several years...I've been in serious relationships with both men and women - I don't so much feel the need to "label" myself anymore - so I don't so much feel the need to "come out" in any way.

carrie721 · #23 07-21-2006, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

of course I'm also in the midst of one of the worst dry spells in human history.

I only laugh because I am so. there. right now.

amber · #24 07-21-2006, 12:45 AM

I don't mean to jump on your post, but how did PFLAG work for your mom? I've always wondered. What do they say? It must have been hard for your mom, I'm assuming she's pretty catholic and traditional? Hopefully by doing so not making an *ass*out of *u* and *me*.

There was a lesbian in my school, and on my softball team, and then way later I saw her in Berkeley. With a boyfriend. She never said she was, but she acted overtly sexually strange.

But she was totally weird. I mean, she would talk about weird sexy things in the locker room, and walk around naked, and...invite people to slumber parties at the same time. but besides that, she had no social skills, which was actually the real problem. I don't think many people would have cared about her lesbionicness, but she was so weird with everything.
Also? She sucked! She was a catcher, and she sucked. So people didn't like her for that.

I had seen her around since I was young, since Bobbysox (girls softball league, small town) and she was always weird, and always sucked.

She was red haired and freckled and big, too.

But I digress.

DrummerDeanna · #25 07-21-2006, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

I don't mean to jump on your post, but how did PFLAG work for your mom? I've always wondered. What do they say? It must have been hard for your mom, I'm assuming she's pretty catholic and traditional? Hopefully by doing so not making an *ass*out of *u* and *me*.

Well for all intents and purposes my mom is Catholic - but as my sister and I say she follow the Gospel According to Marie - and has always sort of made up her own rules

So PFLAG was hard at first - but I was lucky that she did have gay friend and acquaintences - it was just harder because it was one of her kids - but once she got through the first couple of PFLAGS (which she cried the whole way through) they were really good for her. The people were so supportive and amazing - a good mix of parents, friends and actualy gays

She still keeps in touch with some of the people from our PFLAG days and always tells me when she runs into them...

However, all coolness goes out the window the minute I say I'm interested in or am dating a woman

DrummerDeanna · #26 07-21-2006, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721

I only laugh because I am so. there. right now.

Seriously. I feel like a nun. I was watching friends and Ross was all hard up because he hadn't had sex in 6 months...I pretty much wanted to put a pistol in my head at that point...seriously. WORST. DRYSPELL. EVER.

carrie721 · #27 07-21-2006, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Seriously. I feel like a nun. I was watching friends and Ross was all hard up because he hadn't had sex in 6 months...I pretty much wanted to put a pistol in my head at that point...seriously. WORST. DRYSPELL. EVER.

Hahaha. 6 months is nothing ...

My friend was complaining about going without for a month. A MONTH. Yeah, hand me that pistol, please ...

btw, I thought of you as I drove through the Rockies the other day!

BombaySapphire3 · #28 07-21-2006, 04:38 AM

I came out in high school which took a certain amount of guts since it was like 1979

I'm not the rainbow flag waving type but just matter of fact about it .It does surprise me given my attitude that there are people I work with that don't know and all they they need do is ask.

DavidMn · #29 07-21-2006, 10:06 PM

I am 100% out. I dont tell anyone that I am. But if they ask I have no problem sharing. For some reason, alot of people I tell are very surprised I'm gay. I guess I dont fit the stereotype or something.

AliceLover · #30 07-22-2006, 12:01 AM

The only people I am out to is the online world and that is just recently. I don't think I could ever picture myself coming out to my friends and family. Its just so hard. My dad would be upset, my mom would probably be like "I knew it". I think i might lose some friends, not because they are assholes but because theu just don't want to hang out with the gay kid. I would be paranoid in school like everyone is looking at me because I can out. Same with like family parties...i think my moms side of the family would be very surprised an kind of upset. I can see myself coming out at college. Its just such a hard topic and my answer is I really don't know. You would never know id you met me in person. I'm very straight on the outside.

Stuff I wanted to add:

Do you know how hard it is to meet someone in my place??? I am always with friends so its like forget it. Whenever I go out alone I never see anybody that really catches my interest. yet when I am with friends I am being checked out LOL (well one time). So I am single at the moment.