Zingiest Insults

[strandinthewind]

Husband says - "Why can't I have a little peace"

Wife replies - "Why settle for a little when you could have eternal . . . ."

From - The Lion in Winter!!!!!

[BTFLCHLD]

youre the new james bond with a license to suck!

[SuzeQuze]

Do you know how stupid that comment was or was it some horrific accident?

[estranged4life]

"I would slap/hit you, but **** splatters"

"Stupid is as you does"

"Were you born stupid, Or did you have to work at it?"

"You look like the poster child for why abortions should be kept legal"

and the following is what to use for people who double park in a parking lot:

"If you f**k the way you park, no wonder you cant get it in..."

[SuzeQuze]

Good ones from this page:

http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/lau...ts/insult8.htm

Are your parents siblings?

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

Plus some "you mama's so fat" lines:

http://www.comedy-zone.net/jokes/lau...s/insult11.htm

Yo momma's so fat,
she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat,
when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat,
when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat,
they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

[skcin]

"Shut up, jerk" is my usual. I'm not very quick witted.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by skcin

I'm not very quick witted.

is that an advertisement? Just kiddin'....

Brian "Very quick witted...aka World Class Smartass" j.

[hayley]

I just like to say "Suck it" in a high-pitched singsong voice.

[JazmenFlowers]

the character Maxine has the best insults...among my favs:

Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

I'm out of bed and I made it to the computer. What else do you want?

Don't like my attitude? Send an email to likeIcare.com

[Richard B]

"Your breath just gave me a tan."

[littlewolf]

thanks,suzequze!
there were good jokes,i had a lot of laughs

[mylittledemon]

Someone (A bi-atch) recently told me I was the "skidmark on the underpants of society." And then also said I was comparable to an "unflushable turd." I then countered back with "you're like poorly groomed genitals!"

[Ghosty]

Originally Posted by David

What are your favorite insults?

Mine is: "Are you insane or did you just eat a bucket of bad steamers?"

lol! I like that one. Never heard it before.

[bikerchic]

I always tell my husband and kids "Don't go away mad, just go away". I know, I'll never win for mother of the year

[Red]

I used to be such a nerdlinger with the yo momma jokes back in the day. The best?

You momma's so fat, when she dances, the band skips.