Article on "All We Are Saying" (Arquette's documentary) - Page 2

SapphireSister · #16 03-02-2006, 04:34 PM

To this day I will never fully understand why Stevie claims having children would have compromised her art and why she couldn't have done both. Many of the people who do what she does had kids. Cher and Madonna did it and they are probably more famous than Stevie and have very busy careers. Sometimes I wonder if it's just something she keeps telling herself because it just never worked out for her or wasn't meant for her to have kids and part of her really wishes she did so she has to keep telling herself and the media that over and over so she feels better.

On the other hand she could be right. I'm sure if she had kids she would have not have gotten to spend the same amount of time with them as a "normal" mother and maybe she didn't want to make that sacrifce. I know Madonna has a nanny for the kids but they still spend quality time with her but maybe that just wasn't an option for Stevie.

JazmenFlowers · #17 03-02-2006, 04:38 PM

I don't think her life and lifestyle and possibly her personality really are suited for children. Just my opinion of course.

jannieC · #18 03-02-2006, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

To this day I will never fully understand why Stevie claims having children would have compromised her art and why she couldn't have done both. Many of the people who do what she does had kids. Cher and Madonna did it and they are probably more famous than Stevie and have very busy careers. Sometimes I wonder if it's just something she keeps telling herself because it just never worked out for her or wasn't meant for her to have kids and part of her really wishes she did so she has to keep telling herself and the media that over and over so she feels better.

On the other hand she could be right. I'm sure if she had kids she would have not have gotten to spend the same amount of time with them as a "normal" mother and maybe she didn't want to make that sacrifce. I know Madonna has a nanny for the kids but they still spend quality time with her but maybe that just wasn't an option for Stevie.

Stevie has often said that she wouldn't have wanted her children to be raised by nannies. I absolutely agree that her career would not have survived her being a mother, being the kind of mother she wanted to be. Sure, celebs do it all the time, but they have nannies doing eveything for them. (Don't get me started on that)

amber · #19 03-02-2006, 05:00 PM

I don't think Cher or Madonna have toured as much as Stevie. Stevie was always touring. She's still always touring.

SapphireSister · #20 03-02-2006, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jannieC

Stevie has often said that she wouldn't have wanted her children to be raised by nannies. I absolutely agree that her career would not have survived her being a mother, being the kind of mother she wanted to be. Sure, celebs do it all the time, but they have nannies doing eveything for them. (Don't get me started on that)

But there have to be celebs out there who don't have nannies doing everything. There's a big difference between having a nanny help out with the kids and having the nanny actually raise the kids. My sister-in-law is a super woman and has a crazy career and travels. She has a nanny but the kids aren't raised by the nanny, she is there to help out and even travels with her and the kids. Why couldn't the kids travel with Stevie when they were young? I'm just saying I think the possibility exists that she could have had her career AND had kids not raised by a nanny if she really wanted to as I am sure other celebs have done the same (given I'm sure there are many who's kids ARE raised by nannies which is sickening).

Maybe Stevie wouldn't have been on the road as much or recorded as many albums but she could have done both if she really wanted to. Some of the greatest entertainers ever have had children and I guarantee they were not all raised by other people.

amber · #21 03-02-2006, 05:22 PM

She couldn't have really had one until 1986-7 anyways, unless she wanted to have a crack baby. She was already 38 then.
I don't think she really wanted them.

cliffdweller · #22 03-02-2006, 05:24 PM

Maybe Stevie just flat never wanted kids

I mean, if she wanted them badly enough, she would have made it work, she's a resourceful woman. I don't know why she doesn't just come out and say, "Look, I just didn't want kids, okay?" Or, "My career was my baby, and that's all the baby I need."

Either way, I would respect her for it.

I think the side of her not wanting kids was stronger than the side that did. There may be a bit of wistfulness as Janet said, but in the end I think she's happy with her life and I don't think she'd change a thing. She seems very resolute about being content with the choices she's made in her life.

SapphireSister · #23 03-02-2006, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

She couldn't have really had one until 1986-7 anyways, unless she wanted to have a crack baby.

OMFG I love you for that

And if she had one after 1987 during the Klonopin years the thing would have been crying for hours and she'd just sit there and stare into space thinking, "Oh no, my baby's crying, poor thing. Maybe I'll have to get up and hold her, hmmm, well, maybe later" *nods out*.

SapphireSister · #24 03-02-2006, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

Maybe Stevie just flat never wanted kids

I mean, if she wanted them badly enough, she would have made it work, she's a resourceful woman. I don't know why she doesn't just come out and say, "Look, I just didn't want kids, okay?" Or, "My career was my baby, and that's all the baby I need."

Exactly! I wish she would just flat out say that she didn't want them instead of saying she couldn't have had a career and kids, that's b.s.. But like you said I respect her either way.

What I'm saying is that maybe part of her really did want them and that's why she's telling the the same b.s. story over and over that she couldn't have them because she is resourceful and could have done both if she really wanted to. Is it possible she's regretting it and feels she needs to make excuses for herself and to the media?

Livia · #25 03-02-2006, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

Maybe Stevie just flat never wanted kids

I mean, if she wanted them badly enough, she would have made it work, she's a resourceful woman. I don't know why she doesn't just come out and say, "Look, I just didn't want kids, okay?" Or, "My career was my baby, and that's all the baby I need."

Either way, I would respect her for it.

I think the side of her not wanting kids was stronger than the side that did. There may be a bit of wistfulness as Janet said, but in the end I think she's happy with her life and I don't think she'd change a thing. She seems very resolute about being content with the choices she's made in her life.

She depends on her music like a husband....and her doggies and songs are her children.

amber · #26 03-02-2006, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

OMFG I love you for that

And if she had one after 1987 during the Klonopin years the thing would have been crying for hours and she'd just sit there and stare into space thinking, "Oh no, my baby's crying, poor thing. Maybe I'll have to get up and hold her, hmmm, well, maybe later" *nods out*.

If I had Stevie's career I wouldn't need/want kids either. Or if I was me. Cause I don't want any kids.

Livia · #27 03-02-2006, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

OMFG I love you for that

And if she had one after 1987 during the Klonopin years the thing would have been crying for hours and she'd just sit there and stare into space thinking, "Oh no, my baby's crying, poor thing. Maybe I'll have to get up and hold her, hmmm, well, maybe later" *nods out*.

The visual I'm getting on that is hilarious. A la Rooms on Fire video.

SapphireSister · #28 03-02-2006, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

The visual I'm getting on that is hilarious. A la Rooms on Fire video.

Yea, I know the scene and I'm going to continue it. She's swinging the baby but then ooops, she drops it cause she's so spaced out! Remember her saying she fell when she was on Klonopin? Awww, sorry Stevie. I'm only playing.

cliffdweller · #29 03-02-2006, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

She depends on her music like a husband....and her doggies and songs are her children.

I wish I had doggies

If I had some, I'm sure I would TOTALLY treat them like they were my children too!

Kelly · #30 03-03-2006, 11:04 PM

Maybe Stevie wanted children and there is some other reason she did not have them? The Tower always made me think that was the case. She always sounds wistful and like she is trying to convince people she did not really want or need kids when deep down I think she really did. There was a good ten year period when she talked about stopping her career to have a baby, then talked about adopting and she talked about it alot. Her interview with Annie Nightengale, although edited, certainly indicated there was a time in her life when she did want to be a Mother. I do not think that desire just suddenly goes away or gets replaced by a dog or a song.

No one is saying she had to have kids to be fulfilled, that is personal choice. I personally, just believe Stevie wanted to be a Mother and is not as fulfilled by her writing and songs as she likes to claim. She had her songs in the late 80s and early 90s, yet still nose dived into depression. Something was causing her to be unhappy and her music certainly was not enough then. I do not buy that Stevie is completely fulfilled in life by two Yorkies, her journal and music. That is a huge part of her life and without those things, she might feel sort of empty, however, I think she has always needed other things as well. (people who make her feel normal and accepted for the woman and not the image, love, family, security, etc...things she does not comment on publically as needing_)