Why does every gay man HAVE to love Cher or Madonna?

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by amber

I hope Hillary, or SaphireSister posts some posts with..."something something man something....EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"
In it.
I'd do it, but that would be a big fat lie. A lie of Liz Taylorean proportions...

See, but I don't feel that way. I don't think that other sexual orientations are gross. I don't get grossed out when I think of two men having sex or a man and woman having sex. Maybe Lindsay will do it for you since I won't

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

Coming out allowed me to finally stop pretending to be something I'm not, so I certainly wasn't going to give up one type of conformity for another.

Exactly! I was not about to start going all out and getting some dyke haircut and wearing flannel shirts and all that stuff. Not me at all. I like my skirts.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I had a few very well-meaning friends who, as soon as I came out, started telling me, "Ok, you have to get your hair cut this way, and start wearing this type of clothing, and buy this brand of underwear, and get yourself more sexual experience, yadda-yadda-yadda."

But that's just not me, and I refused to give in... even then.
Coming out allowed me to finally stop pretending to be something I'm not, so I certainly wasn't going to give up one type of conformity for another.

Right on So many people DO fall into that - and that is what perpetuates the stereotype...

I had a friend who was just your average run of the mill guy's guy - well he came out and that all went to hell - now he's the biggest flamer out there - he won't even associate with anything NOT gay It's sad - and he's miserable and yada yada yada - you gotta be true to yourself.

Another good friend of mine - is gay. BUT he's never been anything but true to himself -he rebuilt a 1969 Mustang pretty much from scratch - all he had was the frame - he rebuilt a 1977 Harley motorcycle...but then he could turn around and give me a fabulous haircut His gay friends would DIE when he'd run out to the store all dirty and greasy from his car....

[amber]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

See, but I don't feel that way. I don't think that other sexual orientations are gross. I don't get grossed out when I think of two men having sex or a man and woman having sex. Maybe Lindsay will do it for you since I won't

great. I was just kidding. Thanks for the expla though.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I French-kissed a girl on a dare in 7th grade.
If I hadn't been in such deep denial, I would have known right then and there that I was gay... no offense to the ladies here, but it was yucky!

Sadly, I have no stories like this because I have never kissed anyone. But, back in high school, when I was hopelessly depressed, one of the really popular guys, a complete hunk, asked me to dance at one of the school dances. I had no idea how to dance. He sweet-talked me and all and he was fine. That was quite an enjoyable moment, but then I have to admit that I would've preferred this really beautiful brunette from my English class. Oddly enough, he wound up going to my university and we both worked on fly together for a musical. (He's actually a straight guy who does theatre! ). He had actually considered me bisexual all along. He thought it was hilarious that I was totally gay for some reason.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Exactly! I was not about to start going all out and getting some dyke haircut and wearing flannel shirts and all that stuff. Not me at all. I like my skirts.

me too! I like girly things like bags and shoes and skirts - I mean I'm not fashionista or anything - but I think I've got a style all my own and yes, skirts and even dresses are included.

When I first came out - in high school - I did try to fit in - chopped all my hair off - bought bigger pants - wore a wallet with a chain When I got to college and realized what rubbish trying to live up to a dyke stereotype was I started coming more into my own - BUT when I grew my hair out women completely and totally stopped hitting on me.

I've got short hair again - but I fix it a certain way and I wear makeup and gay women STILL don't notice me....oh well...what are you gonna do?

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by amber

great. I was just kidding. Thanks for the expla though.

Oh, I thought you were, like, 40 or 50% kidding.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

me too! I like girly things like bags and shoes and skirts - I mean I'm not fashionista or anything - but I think I've got a style all my own and yes, skirts and even dresses are included.

When I first came out - in high school - I did try to fit in - chopped all my hair off - bought bigger pants - wore a wallet with a chain When I got to college and realized what rubbish trying to live up to a dyke stereotype was I started coming more into my own - BUT when I grew my hair out women completely and totally stopped hitting on me.

I've got short hair again - but I fix it a certain way and I wear makeup and gay women STILL don't notice me....oh well...what are you gonna do?

Gay women still don't notice you? That's crazy! I mean, you have a short haircut and you're gorgeous. I wouldn't automatically assume you like women but I might be looking at you like "Hmmm....I wonder...and she's cute, so..." if I didn't already know. I'm surprised that no women hit on you. Maybe this is why no women hit on me...girly blouses, skirts, make-up, medium length hair. Would it really help if I looked butch? Oh well, I don't want to, so I guess it doesn't matter.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Gay women still don't notice you? That's crazy! I mean, you have a short haircut and you're gorgeous. I wouldn't automatically assume you like women but I might be looking at you like "Hmmm....I wonder...and she's cute, so..." if I didn't already know. I'm surprised that no women hit on you. Maybe this is why no women hit on me...girly blouses, skirts, make-up, medium length hair. Would it really help if I looked butch? Oh well, I don't want to, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Awww shucks Thanks *blush*

Yeah - I don't know - I guess my other problem is that I don't really like butch women lol - so it's not like I hit on anyone either - because I'm never sure if the femme-y ones are gay

It's annoying! And I don't want to meet a girl at a gay bar - those places are just usually sketch city. So pretty much I'm leaving it up to fate/chance AND....I'm alone

I figure if it's meant to be it'll happen someday - there is a gay/lesbian film festival coming up - I may take in some films and try to meet some new people there.

Anyway - I don't want to be more butch - the thought scares me - even when I went through my "butch phase" I wasn't that butch...

What I seem to notice is that all the femme women I've liked - they like the really really butch girls I just can't win

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Awww shucks Thanks *blush*

Yeah - I don't know - I guess my other problem is that I don't really like butch women lol - so it's not like I hit on anyone either - because I'm never sure if the femme-y ones are gay

It's annoying! And I don't want to meet a girl at a gay bar - those places are just usually sketch city. So pretty much I'm leaving it up to fate/chance AND....I'm alone

I figure if it's meant to be it'll happen someday - there is a gay/lesbian film festival coming up - I may take in some films and try to meet some new people there.

Anyway - I don't want to be more butch - the thought scares me - even when I went through my "butch phase" I wasn't that butch...

What I seem to notice is that all the femme women I've liked - they like the really really butch girls I just can't win

Ditto to everything! Even the film festival. I'm actually going to my first gay/lesbian film festival not too long from now. Anyway, yeah, I'm not attracted to butch girls. The most butch person I find attractive is Ellen Degeneres, and she's androgynous, not butch. And it does seem as though a lot of femmes want butch girls, which sucks. Although I would be an exception. And it's a bitch that the femmes, like you said, aren't obvious so then it's nearly impossible to know who to flirt with. And I also find it pretty scary to think of going butch; I feel like I would be pretending to be another person.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Ditto to everything! Even the film festival. I'm actually going to my first gay/lesbian film festival not too long from now. Anyway, yeah, I'm not attracted to butch girls. The most butch person I find attractive is Ellen Degeneres, and she's androgynous, not butch. And it does seem as though a lot of femmes want butch girls, which sucks. Although I would be an exception. And it's a bitch that the femmes, like you said, aren't obvious so then it's nearly impossible to know who to flirt with. And I also find it pretty scary to think of going butch; I feel like I would be pretending to be another person.

Oh totally - The thought of me going butch is so ridiculous. But a lot of the butch girls I know I find ridiculous so

I agree about Ellen - but I don't consider her butch so much - as you said. I just don't get the butch thing I mean - I like women who are women - not th ewomen who look like men I just really dont' get it - but hey to each their own and we all need somebody to love

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

I agree about Ellen - but I don't consider her butch so much - as you said. I just don't get the butch thing I mean - I like women who are women - not th ewomen who look like men I just really dont' get it - but hey to each their own and we all need somebody to love

Agreed.

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Oh totally - The thought of me going butch is so ridiculous. But a lot of the butch girls I know I find ridiculous so

I agree about Ellen - but I don't consider her butch so much - as you said. I just don't get the butch thing I mean - I like women who are women - not th ewomen who look like men I just really dont' get it - but hey to each their own and we all need somebody to love

Same with guys dressing up like women every other day. I don't understand it, but if they enjoy it...more power to them. I just don't find that attractive.

[markolas]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

For the most part, I hate the fact that I'm from LA, too. But at we know there are some sane people, and some who managed to get out.

Well, it doesn't bother me that I'm *from* there, seeing as how I don't live there anymore. You're from the same rednecky part of LA I am, aren't you?

Well, I was informed that I was gay at the age of 9 on the playground on numerous occasions.

I got some of that, too, but didn't really know what it meant. I suspect most of the kids saying it didn't know, either.

[markolas]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

You just love pointing that out, don't ya?

Heh. It really doesn't. Most of my friends are closer to your age.

By the way, and not to bring up a potentially sore subject, but when did you become single again?

Less than a week ago. I wanted to end things a bit before that, though. I always thought that if there was any smothering going on in a relationship, that I'd be the one doing it. I never thought *I* would be the one feeling smothered and desperately needing to get out. But, there ya go.