Favorite Passage From Scripture

[Moony]

Originally Posted by amber

Lo, unto he that eateth my chips, may he feel the wrath of God, and never knoweth peace or prosperity, and yea, may he starve and locusts taketh all his crops, and may he be cursed to wander the earth destitute.
Ambers:3:14

haha, I love.

this is my favorite scripture....

Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Monty Python <3.

[seeker007nmss]

Stop or I shall be forced to say "NEE" a second time.

[Moony]

Originally Posted by Lux

Danny, they speak it so brilliantly don't they? My views on the scripture can be understood in the viewing of Holy Grail, Life of Brian and Meaning of Life. The head-thumping is a particular favourite. Also:
".....he who brought the butter dish to Balshazar and the tent peg to the house of Rashomon, and there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots. Here endeth the lesson."

God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

Yes Lux, Monty Python has greatly enriched my understandings of the mysteries of the divine

[Vianna]

Psalm 121
"He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep
...the sun shall not smite thee by day neither the moon by night"

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Psalm 23 (King James Version)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures

He leadeth me beside the still waters

He restoreth my soul

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
____________________________________________________________

It is not even the religious part of this so much that I think is cool, though it is very religious. It is the beauty of the phrasing. I think it is comforting to know that though I may be alone there is always something perhaps watching over me as "walk through the valley of the shadow of death" - which is just a beautiful way to me of expressing difficult moments, making hard choices, etc.

I just think it is profound.

this is my fav also~

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by wondergirl9847

When I was little, I used to read that differently. I was like "Why would I not want the Lord as my shepherd?"

ME TOO!! I remember asking my mom all confused why they don't want Jesus as a shepard lol....

[Merf]

Matthew 11:28-30 is very important to me.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

[wondergirl9847]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

ME TOO!! I remember asking my mom all confused why they don't want Jesus as a shepard lol....

We so crazy.

There are tons of verses that I love...we'd be here all day. I remember when I went to a Michael W. Smith concert back around 1995 or something and the band/dancers were taking turns saying a verse. They all had these long ones they had to recite...then, this one dude comes to the mic and goes "Jesus wept." BWAH!!!

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by wondergirl9847

We so crazy.

There are tons of verses that I love...we'd be here all day. I remember when I went to a Michael W. Smith concert back around 1995 or something and the band/dancers were taking turns saying a verse. They all had these long ones they had to recite...then, this one dude comes to the mic and goes "Jesus wept." BWAH!!!

I used to have a list of really funny Bible verses - when taken out of context they are hilarious...

I learned them from a priest who would walk into a room and very seriously say, "I'd like to read from scripture...."

He'd be all solemn - then he'd say which verse...and then it'd be something like...

"happy are those who beat their babies heads on rocks"



He was the coolest priest evah...a young cute guy (what a waste ) but yeah - I can't find my list and I haven't had the time to go through the Bible to find them again

[wondergirl9847]

Sounds like a cool dude. Yeah, what a waste is right. LOL

[sodascouts]

I have always found this one comforting:

"Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

[eclipse]

This too shall pass....

At least I think it is in the bible

[GateandGarden]

Well, I got these from LandoverBaptist (I <3 LandoverBaptist).

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Ezekiel 23:20

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."
Psalm 137:9

[xxxmx]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Well, I got these from LandoverBaptist (I <3 LandoverBaptist).

i'm with you on that one, and betty bowers is my HERO... ps, i'm trying to find my fave passage. i'm not religious but i've randomly read the bible twice...?

[dissention]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." Ezekiel 23:20

OMG, how perverse.

Love it!