Gay Ledgies of the World Unite!

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by dissention

A lot of gay people feel that bisexuals want to have their cake and eat it, too. Why they see that as a bad thing is beyond me, but some of my gay friends think that bisexuals just go gay to be "cool."

With the exception of my major crush on a certain someone, I consider myself to be as straight as the pope is white. I think there's a bold line between simply having crushes on members of the same sex while still having strong sexual feelings for the opposite sex and having the same intense feelings for the both sexes. People who simply have crushes on members of the same sex are not bisexual, they're normal. But some people just seize on that little crush and call themselves bisexual.

But, as I've always said, any sex is better than none.

Ugh - I HATE that "have your cake and eat it too" analogy....gay people are always quick to point out that they're born that way...well - I didn't ask to be attracted to both sexes...it was confusing as hell for a long ass time...

In high school I did try to identify soley as lesbian - but I kept getting mad crushes on guys....so I spent several years exploring different options...and lo and behold I've had meaninful and wonderful relationships with members of both sexes....

It just annoys me that people deny bisexuality exists.....that we're "having our cake and eating it too..." *sigh* It's been a long time since I've had any cake...hahaha...

Anyway...still true though that there are people out there who go there just to "be cool" and whatnot...which I guess is what's making it so damn annoying for those of us with these genuine feelings?

[dissention]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Ugh - I HATE that "have your cake and eat it too" analogy....gay people are always quick to point out that they're born that way...well - I didn't ask to be attracted to both sexes...it was confusing as hell for a long ass time...

I agree. What the hell is the point of having cake if you can't f*cking eat it?

[Mari]

Originally Posted by dissention

A lot of gay people feel that bisexuals want to have their cake and eat it, too. Why they see that as a bad thing is beyond me, but some of my gay friends think that bisexuals just go gay to be "cool."

With the exception of my major crush on a certain someone, I consider myself to be as straight as the pope is white. I think there's a bold line between simply having crushes on members of the same sex while still having strong sexual feelings for the opposite sex and having the same intense feelings for the both sexes. People who simply have crushes on members of the same sex are not bisexual, they're normal. But some people just seize on that little crush and call themselves bisexual.

But, as I've always said, any sex is better than none.

true that I didn't start calling myself bi until I had that really strong attraction.
But I still consider myself very normal

[takenbythesky]

Jeez...It can difficult enough for a person to come to terms with their own bisexuality. Why make it hell for them by saying that bisexuality doesn't exist or that it is selfish? Being homosexual or bisexual is very difficult in our society, even though America promotes "life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness." Shouldn't a person just be able to do what makes themselves happy, providing it doesn't hurt others, without being criticized and judged by others?

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Ugh - I hate that as well lol...does that make me a hypocrite?

(In reference to resenting people just being after sex with both genders and nothing more). I don't think you're hypocritical at all for that. I know I'm all the way back on another page, but I just wanted to say that. I can just relate to some extent because some people say it's hypocritical for me to be gay and a virgin who wishes to stay one until marriage. (Fat chance with the laws and all, but, well, it has been my intention). I run into lots of people who think that if you're gay or bi then you must be slutty, or at least not virginal.

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

It pissed me off because these people back home think they know me better than I know myself...(ooh...almost merged into a Stevie song there... )

I can relate to that.

Hillary

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by takenbythesky

Jeez...It can difficult enough for a person to come to terms with their own bisexuality. Why make it hell for them by saying that bisexuality doesn't exist or that it is selfish? Being homosexual or bisexual is very difficult in our society, even though America promotes "life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness." Shouldn't a person just be able to do what makes themselves happy, providing it doesn't hurt others, without being criticized and judged by others?

I wish everyone felt the way you do.

About bisexuality (not that I profess to be some expert), I get the impression that fewer people view it as something real than homosexuality. I hear all the time that bisexuals are "too lazy to decide," but I have to say that I hear similiar things about homosexuality--that it's not real, it's the result of society making people think it's okay, or someone being sexual abused and turned into a homosexual, or the whole thing about your relationship with your parents making you gay, or you really just want to be another gender. (It's ridiculous to confuse homosexuals with transexuals, yet so many do it). And supposedly it can be reversed. If you go to Focus on the Family's website, you'll see that they perpetuate all that bull****.

Hillary

[takenbythesky]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

(In reference to resenting people just being after sex with both genders and nothing more). I don't think you're hypocritical at all for that. I know I'm all the way back on another page, but I just wanted to say that. I can just relate to some extent because some people say it's hypocritical for me to be gay and a virgin who wishes to stay one until marriage. (Fat chance with the laws and all, but, well, it has been my intention). I run into lots of people who think that if you're gay or bi then you must be slutty, or at least not virginal.

I can relate to that.

Hillary

All the more power to you for wanting to stay a virgin until marriage.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by takenbythesky

All the more power to you for wanting to stay a virgin until marriage.

Thanks. Though I don't know how practical that is for a gay person.

Hillary

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

(In reference to resenting people just being after sex with both genders and nothing more). I don't think you're hypocritical at all for that. I know I'm all the way back on another page, but I just wanted to say that. I can just relate to some extent because some people say it's hypocritical for me to be gay and a virgin who wishes to stay one until marriage. (Fat chance with the laws and all, but, well, it has been my intention). I run into lots of people who think that if you're gay or bi then you must be slutty, or at least not virginal.

Hillary

Dude! I can totally relate to that...and wow...I seriously thought I was like the only one that felt that way - like I said in an ealier post - I tend to be kind of old fashioned -

But yeah - I think the reason you get the reason you get the "stereotype" of slutty & not virginal because it seems to be almost true!!!

I mean - there are, of course, exceptions...but Jeebus - back home I never did find any women who hadn't been through the ring of lesbians...and I refused to get involved in all that drama - I care too much about my body and heart to just jump from bed to bed....

This past summer I met a woman and we went out once with a "friend" of hers -nice girls but one of them went to the bathroom and while gone her friend was like, "yeah we used to date - we're just friends now but we still sleep together..." well the friend comes out of the bathroom - goes right up to this other dancing lesbian couple...proceeds to hit on the very drunk one - who leaves her girlfriend behind (fuming) and they go off to make out...WTF!?! I HATE that ****...I never saw any of those gals again....I can't deal with that.

So I haven't dated a woman in years...mostly because I couldn't find one who I gelled with who had similar values etc....I refuse to compromise myself...which in turn has resulted in me losing many a relationship lol...

[skcin]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Thanks. Though I don't know how practical that is for a gay person.

Hillary

I don't know how practical it is for ANYONE, gay OR straight

Know that my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek & I have a lot of respect for you deciding to wait.

Paula

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Dude! I can totally relate to that...and wow...I seriously thought I was like the only one that felt that way - like I said in an ealier post - I tend to be kind of old fashioned -

But yeah - I think the reason you get the reason you get the "stereotype" of slutty & not virginal because it seems to be almost true!!!

I mean - there are, of course, exceptions...but Jeebus - back home I never did find any women who hadn't been through the ring of lesbians...and I refused to get involved in all that drama - I care too much about my body and heart to just jump from bed to bed....

This past summer I met a woman and we went out once with a "friend" of hers -nice girls but one of them went to the bathroom and while gone her friend was like, "yeah we used to date - we're just friends now but we still sleep together..." well the friend comes out of the bathroom - goes right up to this other dancing lesbian couple...proceeds to hit on the very drunk one - who leaves her girlfriend behind (fuming) and they go off to make out...WTF!?! I HATE that ****...I never saw any of those gals again....I can't deal with that.

So I haven't dated a woman in years...mostly because I couldn't find one who I gelled with who had similar values etc....I refuse to compromise myself...which in turn has resulted in me losing many a relationship lol...

Those lesbians really would've turned me off, too! I cannot deal with that either. The funny thing is that the majority of the lesbians I know personally (okay, it's not that many, but oh well) are monogamous. When I talk to them, I find that we have similar values (though no one I know seems to be clinging to the whole no sex before marriage thing and I can't blame them). But when I get on the Internet or read a gay/lesbian magazine, I find that polyamory is this huge part of the community, and I cannot relate to that on any level. I also can't relate to a lesbian couple saying that they love each other and are devoted to each other but occasionally they go sleep with men just for the sexual pleasure. All of that is so foreign to me.

Hillary

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by skcin

I don't know how practical it is for ANYONE, gay OR straight

Know that my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek & I have a lot of respect for you deciding to wait.

Paula

Thanks Paula.

Hillary

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Those lesbians really would've turned me off, too! I cannot deal with that either. The funny thing is that the majority of the lesbians I know personally (okay, it's not that many, but oh well) are monogamous. When I talk to them, I find that we have similar values (though no one I know seems to be clinging to the whole no sex before marriage thing and I can't blame them). But when I get on the Internet or read a gay/lesbian magazine, I find that polyamory is this huge part of the community, and I cannot relate to that on any level. I also can't relate to a lesbian couple saying that they love each other and are devoted to each other but occasionally they go sleep with men just for the sexual pleasure. All of that is so foreign to me.

Hillary

I don't get the polyamorous culture of the whole thing either.

I once had a horrid experience with a "trendy bi girl" - she claimed to be bi - but totally wasn't...the "relationship" went down hill super fast...one night she broke a date with me - the next day she was covered in hickies...turned out she went to hook up with some guy...her rationale was that since she was bi - she had to have both....um NO! See..that's what's giving bi people a bad rap

But yeah - when I'm really into someone I honestly could care less about anyone else...for the two and a half years I was with my bf we were totally monogamous and happy....

I do have a few lesbian friends who are in committed monogamous relationships...they're amazing people who I really admire...and it helps knowing that there are people like them in the world...

It's great that the lesbians youknow are monogamous - that helps.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by trackaghost

I have to say part of me wishes I was gay though, just because guys so hard to understand at times!
(I apologise if I went all shallow there, I am quite shallow really)

It's so funny that you should say that because I was thinking earlier today that it would be easier to be attracted to men exclusively because they seem to make sense to me. Women, on the other hand, can be so irrational, melodramatic, and manipulative. I feel like guys come out say what they want or what has pissed them off, whereas women think they have to be sly and crafty, and it's in a very negative way all too often.

I'm just here to perpetuate more stereotypes.

Hillary

[amber]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Thanks Paula.

Hillary

I'm curious, why ARE you waiting until marriage? I woulda been sad if i did that, since i've been saying since i was 7 or so that i would never get married...