The worst way to break up

[Villavic]

Originally Posted by Patti

I also heard he told his then wife he wanted a divorce by FAX. If true, classy guy.

That quote is about Phil Collins.
And I immediately recalled that 2 years ago somebody broke up with me through.. MESSENGER!! Can you believe it??

So this thread is about.. how was the worst way you broke up with someboby, and the worst way somebody brokeup with you.

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In my case, the worst way I broke up was immediate and directly with one person and then to formalize with someone else.. the same day. Though it sounds absurd and incredible, it was a hard decision and I felt very bad, but I did it because the old relationship was damaging to me, so it was a healthy movement. However I was very sad because the way I did it hurted everybody. And then starting with somebody else the same day, it sounded irresponsible or inmature, but in that moment I felt like... "let's follow the impulse", and finally there were no regrets.

And the worst way someone broke up with me was thru messenger. It was a very coward way. It took me more than a year to get over it.

[Claudia]

Wow... How unpersonal! I agree very cowardly. Sorry for that.

[BrokenWing]

I thought the grand prize for least classy way to ask for a divorce was serving your wife with divorce papers while she's in the hospital with cancer...aka the Gingrich Method.

Or is that just an urban legend? I would have thought even The Newt had more class than that, but that may just be wishful thinking on my part.

Eileen

[GypsySorcerer]

I think any break-up done by phone, fax, messenger, or email is pretty classless and tacky.

[77Rumours77]

I think its bad when you were in school and you did it by note, and not face to face! I have that!

[ontheEdgeof17]

I was dumped on my 21st birthday through that damn instant messenger. Thank G*d for alcohol that night.


-Curtis

[darklinensuit]

I'm always gentle & courteous when I break up, but the reactions of some of the psychopaths is legendary amongst my friends. Throwing plates, screaming, etc. (Gee, I wonder WHY I decided to break up with you? ) Lots of stories. And that's all I'm saying.

- Jake

[amber]

But at least you broke up with the person before you took the new person. That's waaaaaaay more honorable than cheating. I broke up with someone after i had been cheating on him..it was my roomate, we lived upstairs from my bf's apartment, my bf was paying my rent, and the guy i cheated with had a gf, too, and there were loose friendships all around the building (which only had 3 apartments total, although it had 8 bedrooms tween all of em. Anyway, i was only 21, and it was a bad scene, I was a pariah (rightly so) for awhile. I was new at the whole thing and wasn't really fond of looking at consequences. Also my boyfriend of 2 years was all stressed out and wasn't having you know what with me. I was a little hottie, in Chico, CA, and i was supposed to stand for that!? . I would never, ever, do that again, though. I'm not really like that, i'm very loyal, really. No one has ever broken up with me, so i don't have terrible stories of that. Am friends with cheated on BF today, but he wouldn't talk to me, for like, 2 years.
AMber

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by amber

But at least you broke up with the person before you took the new person. That's waaaaaaay more honorable than cheating. I broke up with someone after i had been cheating on him..it was my roomate, we lived upstairs from my bf's apartment, my bf was paying my rent, and the guy i cheated with had a gf, too, and there were loose friendships all around the building (which only had 3 apartments total, although it had 8 bedrooms tween all of em. Anyway, i was only 21, and it was a bad scene, I was a pariah (rightly so) for awhile. I was new at the whole thing and wasn't really fond of looking at consequences. Also my boyfriend of 2 years was all stressed out and wasn't having you know what with me. I was a little hottie, in Chico, CA, and i was supposed to stand for that!? . I would never, ever, do that again, though. I'm not really like that, i'm very loyal, really. No one has ever broken up with me, so i don't have terrible stories of that. Am friends with cheated on BF today, but he wouldn't talk to me, for like, 2 years.
AMber

I've never cheated & can't say I'd be on goodc terms with someone if she cheated on me. No offense intended, I'm just not a really forgiving person (personal flaw). I would not last long in the Mac.

- Jake

[Villavic]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

I was dumped on my 21st birthday through that damn instant messenger. Thank G*d for alcohol that night.

-Curtis

Yeah, in my case it was by messenger and the day after Valentine's (feb 15). I was devastated.

Originally Posted by amber

But at least you broke up with the person before you took
the new person. That's waaaaaaay more honorable than cheating. .
AMber

YES! That was the main reason I did it that way. My best friend is seeing 2, and I didn't want to do the same.

[Johnny Stew]

The worst way anyone ever broke up with me, was in an email... the content of which, went something like this:

"My sweetness (***his pet-name for me),
I'm sorry I haven't called you for a couple of days, but something has been on my mind that I just couldn't tell you in person. My ex-boyfriend has come back and wants us to get back together.
I think I've told you how much history he and I have, and I've decided to get back together with him. I hope you can understand."

That was that, and, man, did it ever sting! Up to that point, I had thought he was a sweetheart of a guy, but my opinion changed after that.

For the record... I found out that he and the ex-boyfriend were once again ex-boyfriends about a month after he broke up with me. Guess he should have picked Door #1 after all.

[amber]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

I've never cheated & can't say I'd be on goodc terms with someone if she cheated on me. No offense intended, I'm just not a really forgiving person (personal flaw). I would not last long in the Mac.

- Jake

Yeah, it did take a really long time for him to talk to me. But he knew he wasn't uh, you know, with me either. But also, people don't own people, so it's hard to say to someone that they can't see beauty in other people and share energy. That's just what I say, i'd probably see stars if someone cheated on me! Actually, i'd immediately have to distance myself from them, and be all..."if that's what you want, you better have it, cause you're not gettin none of this" but i also wouldn't expect my other to go without relations for any signifigant amount of time. I don't like it, why should they?
Amber

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

The worst way anyone ever broke up with me, was in an email... the content of which, went something like this:

"My sweetness (***his pet-name for me),
I'm sorry I haven't called you for a couple of days, but something has been on my mind that I just couldn't tell you in person. My ex-boyfriend has come back and wants us to get back together.
I think I've told you how much history he and I have, and I've decided to get back together with him. I hope you can understand."

That was that, and, man, did it ever sting! Up to that point, I had thought he was a sweetheart of a guy, but my opinion changed after that.

For the record... I found out that he and the ex-boyfriend were once again ex-boyfriends about a month after he broke up with me. Guess he should have picked Door #1 after all.

But then you'd still be stuck with him. Who needs someone with a wandering eye?

- Jake

[DeeGeMe]

On the phone. A week after I'd lost my job. It was one of those "I quit--no, you're fired scenarios". Anyway, Mr. "It's All About Me" informed me that I needed to go back to the TV station and beg for my job back, even though he knew it was slowly killing me inside. In a phone conversation that lasted for at least three hours (!), he told me that it was the best job that I'd ever have and that I'd never do any better. That he just couldn't understand what my problem was (this from the man whose father had bankrolled his business and who had never worked for anyone other than himself). Then he reeled off a laundry list of his complaints about my problems (he of course has no faults, at least not according to him).

Long story short, I was dumped after seven years with this joker. Two months later, I was hired as a writer/researcher by a government agency. Two years after that, I was lured away by a private company, doing the same thing-at twice the salary. Four years down the road since Mr. Self-Involved dumped me, I'm happy to report that I own my own home, have a flashy sports car (paid for), finally got all my credit cards paid off, finally have a healthy savings account, and more importantly, now make more than twice what I ever did in my best year in TV. And how is Mr. "You'll Never do Any Better than a TV Job" doing these days? His business went belly-up about two years ago--right around the time he called me up--letting me know that he'd be willing to "take me back". Gee, what a prince.

I think that the way a person breaks up with you is indictative of who they are as a person. Non-classy break-up method indicates non-classy person. And the phone (and e-mail & IM and all that jazz) is just a tacky, tacky, tacky way to do it. And don't tell the other person a long list of what's wrong with them. Discuss why you think you need to break up with them and do it in an honest & truthful way and even if you don't believe it, admit at least 50% of the blame as to why the relationship didn't work. No one is perfect.

In hindsight, I realize he made me so angry that I was determined to be a success no matter what. Part of that was falling into a job which turned out to be my true calling in life. The other half was sheer determination to give him a big ole' FU. And I did. It must suck to be him these days but I've never been happier or more successful.

Oh--p.s. to the story--less than a month later after he broke up with me, he was dating someone else. After two years with him, she'd gained 50 pounds, had a nervous breakdown, and had dumped him in the middle of a restaurant after slapping the **** out of him in front of his own family (some special occasion or other)! He actually admitted all of this to me when he made his generous offer to take me back. He was using it as yet another example of how all of his girlfriends (me included) eventually began to "go crazy" on him. He said he thought he just attracted the crazies. I told him very sweetly, that maybe the problem wasn't the women he dated--maybe that it was his controlling, possessive, and highly jealous nature that made them crazy. Of course, he rejected that notion. Just as I rejected his oh-so-kind and generous offer to take MY crazy ass back.

[Mad4stevie]

Well . . . this is pretty personal, but what the hell.

In 2000, I was engaged to be married. I had been working extra long hours, and a co-worker was supposedly interested in me (according to the "busy-bodies" in my workplace). One week before I got married, I called the whole thing off and told my ex to move out. It was totally the right decision for me because I would have ended up divorced if we had married. But it was totally sucky for me to wait as long as I did (although I was trying to convince myself that I really could marry the guy).

Anyway, about two months later, the co-worker approaches me and asks me out. We went out and end up dating for 9 months. The relationship ended when I caught him with another man. Yes, there, I said it. However, that relationship was bad way before that incident, as he was pretty emotionally and verbally abusive to me. Thank God for good therapists!