A Halloween-inspired parody

[macmar71]

You guys have such great parody talent! Keep it coming!!

[Livia]

This is a song, about a Halloween witch…

Rhiannon rings like a bell at your door
“Trick or Treat,� is what they’re saying
You want to answer, but your teeth are sore
From all the candy you’re eating

All your life, you’ve never seen
So many spiders and jack-o-lanterns
Would you stay if she promised you Zagnuts?
Will you ever diet?
Will you ever diet?

She is like a cat in the dark
And then she carves a pumpkin
Takes to the sky and howls and barks
A werewolf, a fairy, a goblin

Someone finish it - time to go hooooooome!!!

[dissention]

Originally posted by Livia
Would you stay if she promised you Zagnuts?

Sung to the tune of Talk To Me...

I can see we're thinking 'bout the same thing
Yes, I see that expression when the doorbell rings
We both know trick-or-treaters are here

There's no sense in keeping all the Snickers
Sugar hungry brats get mean when you treat them with neglect
Don't horde them now,
Or you'll find danger out there, yeah...

Pass them out
You can pass them out
Put them in their bags
Or they'll get your windows with shaving cream, ooh...

Toilet paper
Hidden in their pockets
Seldom seen
Until you close that front door
Look outside,
It's hanging from your trees, ooh what a view...

Is it all that hard
Is it really all that tough
Well, they've done so much already
You can hide treats from them
But they'll light a bag of poo on your front porch...ooh, yeah...

Pass them out
You can pass them out
Put them in their bags
Or they'll pee on your deck...welllllll....

So, you give them apples
No cavity, no gum disease
Their voices search for some swear words
That they'll yell and scream
The spit flies fast, to tell you you're a stingy schmuck

OOH, let the TP fly past
Set your sprinkers free
You'll get them sopping wet and they will flee
You can get them to leave
And you'll still have your Snickers here

[darklinensuit]

Intense...leg cramps
As I squeezed through the door
Trick or treat bag tearing
But still I begged for more
And no queen sized sheet ghost get-up could be wider than me
And no Goodyear Blimp synthetic could cover down to my knee
Real loud indigestion
It was hard to breathe
I was a strain on the top of the stairs
And I called...for feed!

And so you fed me
As scared neighbors often do
You cared not for sweets nor fat dudes
You think I knew
And Jenny Craig, they'll charge me
I'll weigh in, then eat more food
I had asked you, Be my sponsor
Sponsor of the moo

Some call you sponsor of the moo
Some say Why don't I wipe my chin
I binge on Fruit roll wraps and Pixie Stix
Does anyone have "One thin mint" (It's wafer-thin)

So we make our choices
For tricks or else for treats
We can hear our own voices
But we can't see our own feets
And when the Atkins dieters gather around you saying
Why don't you just lay off the carbs
Well tell them I won't be your sponsor
Not your diet, not the Subway diet, not the Weight Watchers diet,
Not the grapefruit Hollywood stomach stapling Not the
ghyuxs dshh jjvbhj dshn njbjdsnjm xnnksk
(Spins, eats microphone, falls through stage)

[darklinensuit]

I hate that I have a full weekend ahead. I have ideas for songs but no time to write yet. Titles keep popping into my head:

- Seven Wonkas
- Battle of the Diet
- Grubbo
- Silver Scale
- Snickers Honey
- Stop Draggin' My Ass So Round
- Girdle on Blond

I'll be back when I'm able...

[darklinensuit]

GIRDLE ON BLOND

Learn to eat just salad
Bland so bland
By sneeze-guard she finds...more cucumber
I crave more food now
What was it, that smell
Was it one chocolate bar
Like the Hersheys that I love
Was it Krackle, Nestle,
Or tell me...Was it Dove
Would it give more strain to my side
Add more to my hide
Something not too touch
Because girdle hurts too much

Well have you come to see
That my hips stick out from me
Oooh beneath my flesh colored girdle
And how I dream
To eat some more ice cream
On a stick one night...no crime
On a cone one night...no crime
Chew the tofu I am sick of...which vice
Well I hear Good Humour ringing...which vice
Does it force you to remember
All the junk you used to love
To be slim fight the hunger
Girdle on blond
Not pulled too tight
Because it hurts too much
Just how to cheat
Do you reach in bag
Every Halloween night
Every Halloween night

Oooh I crush my ribs now
My will power fell
Well this time I think my waist grew
This time

[DownOnRodeo]

Originally posted by darklinensuit
(Spins, eats microphone, falls through stage)

Mercy!!
OK I am compelled to participate now.

[DownOnRodeo]

Originally posted by golden braid

Back to the truffle that I was

Lmao! Oh to be bothered making a dodgy photoshop of Stevie as a truffle.


Not Healthily

It isn't just chocs that caused my sudden weight gain.
Everything I eat now, isn't Lite or plain.
Well it hurts my self esteem, it hurts my arteries.
Oooh, I have really
Got that blimpy feeling

Sometimes it was Cadbury
Sometimes it was O-ohhhh Henry
Sometimes it was just Three Musketeers
Well I want to roll away (Ooh, well I want to roll away)

Then there's Halloween
That adds another stone
The sweets that make we weigh
Far too much

Not healthily then, I don't eat healthily now. (Haaaa, haaaa).
Not healthily then, I don't eat healthily now. (Haaaa, haaaa).
I wasn't underweight then, but I'm sure overweight now. (Haaaa, haaaa, haha Ha-ha).

[darklinensuit]

Well it hurts my self esteem, it hurts my arteries.
[/QUOTE]



SNICKERS HONEY

One bite, baby, one bite
Well I think you
Will like Snickers, Honey
It will help you reach sugar high
Even if you hate peanuts
You'll like these peanuts
Steal from the bag of your brother
Steal from the bag of your brother

Tastebud sensation
Some kind of temptation
To eat Snickers
Never Halloweening yourself
Do you understand the phrase sugar coma
Well you say it's just a moment on the lips
So it's not worth it

Can you find one more
The answer's always yes
Even brother's bag looks pretty full today, saving

No body's tight, baby, all the time
And the day after Halloween you'll have a huge behind
So take some time to pig out from baggy
'Cause eventually we'll all be real fat and saggy
Don't let one double chin bring you down, baby

Come back trick or treater
It's your last chance
Junk's almost gone now
And she'll eat fast like a starved kid
And feel just like a carved pig
She'll toss back Alka Seltzer
Whispering the words One more bar, baby
Just one more bar

[darklinensuit]

SILVER SCALE

It was a silver scale
Bought at suburban mall
She was a hefty girl
Dressed just in her thong and bra

She would have preferred
The last Chunky with raisins
But that's not light
She's here to weigh

She ate from bag for lunch
She had some Nestles Crunch
She ate $25,000 bar
And she looks like it

She's had a few hard candies
Sometimes gut strains her panties
The tug of elastic bandies
Sometimes they leave red marks

Sometimes she kept to her diet
But you'll never really know
Shadow moves across the scale
She cannot see it though
Unless she steps down
Can't see her toe

She was a costumed girl
Caught in a neighbor's door
And as the people stare
She feels just like Pooh-Bear

Still she's on mission girl
To get Halloween bag filled
For candy she'ss even killed
She's a hungry ex-Weight Watcher

Sometimes, she'd scold herself the next day
But you'll never really know
Shadow moves across the scale
You cannot see below

[Livia]

Jake, I knew you wouldn't let me down! LOL!!!

More, more! Someone has to do I'm So Afraid?!