Just wrote a little song. Would really love your input :)

[cratesok6]

Loosely based on a real situation in my life. Still in the "rough" stage. The cadence and melody are kind of wrapped aroung Dire Straits' "Romeo & Juliet".

I know there's alot of artists and song writers here in The Ledge. I would really appreciate your expertise Thank You!

One day I decided
To send a letter
To an old girlfriend of mine
We had a sweet romance
Way, way back in time
She was probably married
Living a real good life
Somebody’s mother
Somebody’s real good wife

So, I pen’d a little note
asking her how she’s been.
Where did all the years go?
Are you still in touch
with any of our old friends?

Hope life’s treating you well
and it sure would be so nice,
Please send me back a letter
and let know
what’s going on in your life?

(Chorus)
Hold on to the memories.
You need to have a place to turn.
Remember those simple times
while the world today
slowly burns.
You may not have a legacy to leave
when you pass along
but to some of us,
our legacy,
are our memories,
that are never gone.


Days turned into weeks
and weeks turned into years.
No, she never wrote me back
the past and those times- not important
or so it appeared.
Maybe she was just busy?
Alot going on?
I really did my best to understand
But I had to keep moving on

(Chorus)
Hold on to the memories.
You need to have a place to turn.
Remember those simple times
while the world today
slowly burns.
You may not have a legacy to leave
When you pass along
but to some of us,
our legacy,
are our memories,
that are never gone


So here I am now
in my golden days.
Sitting in the autumn breeze
while the wind
carries leaves and time away.
I still think back on those years
When the sky, it seemed,
was always blue
Time itself will never erase
those memories
and beautiful thoughts of you..

(Chorus)
Hold on to the memories.
You need to have a place to turn.
Remember those simple times
while the world today
slowly burns.
You may not have a legacy to leave
When you pass along
but to some of us,
our legacy,
are our memories,
that are never gone

[WildHearted]

I like it a lot. I'm having a hard time figuring out the rhythm but that is probably just because I'm trying to read it. You should put the audio up if you have a way to record it!

[vivfox]

So here I am now
in my golden days.


Implies that you are a very old person. Is that what you want the listener to obtain?

[cratesok6]

Originally Posted by vivfox

So here I am now
in my golden days.


Implies that you are a very old person. Is that what you want the listener to obtain?

Well not a "very old" person, but yes. I'm almost 60. Kind of meant for all of us Golden Years people. Thanks for the input!

[cratesok6]

Originally Posted by WildHearted

I like it a lot. I'm having a hard time figuring out the rhythm but that is probably just because I'm trying to read it. You should put the audio up if you have a way to record it!

If you get the song rolling around in your head, the cadence makes a little more sense. Kind of Mark Knopfler-esque. If that makes sense. Thanks for the reply!

[vivfox]

Originally Posted by cratesok6

Well not a "very old" person, but yes. I'm almost 60. Kind of meant for all of us Golden Years people. Thanks for the input!

Then the song is perfect in every way. Usually it's the younger Ledgies that seek "approval" of their writings. Us older folks usually have such confidence in our works.

[Phoenix]

Its nice, but sad. I think it evokes the emotion that you seem to want to convey. That's always a good thing. Its very real.

[cratesok6]

I was hoping to get a few more responses, but I think over the years, the board demographics have changed somewhat. It's all good... Thank you all for your time and input!!

[vivfox]

Originally Posted by cratesok6

I was hoping to get a few more responses

Over 100 people have read it. That should help you sleep better tonight.