Daily Jokes

[BTFLCHLD]

My wife said, "Why is the laptop all sticky?"
I said, "It's not what you think, it's ice cream."
She said, "How did you manage to get ice cream all over the laptop?"
I said, "Have you ever tried eating an ice cream whilst m a s t u r b a t i n g?"
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What do you do if you come across a tiger in the Jungle?
Wipe it off and apologize.
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As a young boy I was concerned with the Earth, how we were damaging it with pollution. I was worried for the welfare for all the endangered species, how we were eradicating whole species with every skyscraper we built or every gas-guzzling car that was made. I feared for poor, underprivileged children in far away countries that didn't have clean water and were dying of horrible diseases.
Then I discovered wanking.