Why do women(& some men) like thugs so much?

[mylittledemon]

My wife said "every guy can be an @sshole in his own way... it's just that "thugs" are a different kind."

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by golddustdrummer

I sure as hell hope not.

Sadly, I really do believe this.

[Black_Moon]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Sadly, I really do believe this.

I hope to God my future husband is nothing like my dad, otherwise we'll be divorced before we've even consumated the marriage.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by Black_Moon

I hope to God my future husband is nothing like my dad, otherwise we'll be divorced before we've even consumated the marriage.

I don't think it's always a done deal, or that every woman does it. I do think that we are looking to re-create what we learned, for good or bad. I think with awareness and insight, anyone can do things differently.

[Ghost_Tracker]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

Hard wired instinct. We're looking for someone to provide for us . . . .
...

http://www.monster.com . . . . .

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by jannieC

I don't think it's always a done deal, or that every woman does it. I do think that we are looking to re-create what we learned, for good or bad. I think with awareness and insight, anyone can do things differently.

I feel like I will either be the quintessential example of your theory, Jannie, or the total exception. I have a pseudo positive relationship with my dad but really, we have scraped through a LOT of problems that were never really resolved but instead forgotten. I honestly don't think that I am attracted to people who share any qualities with him at all... instead, I might go for those who fall on the TOTAL opposite end of the spectrum-- often to a fault.

This is interesting and scary at the same time.

[golddustdrummer]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I feel like I will either be the quintessential example of your theory, Jannie, or the total exception. I have a pseudo positive relationship with my dad but really, we have scraped through a LOT of problems that were never really resolved but instead forgotten. I honestly don't think that I am attracted to people who share any qualities with him at all... instead, I might go for those who fall on the TOTAL opposite end of the spectrum-- often to a fault.

This is interesting and scary at the same time.

that sentence sums up my situation perfectly.
except I can't forget....even though everyone else does.
some things will always be in the back of my mind.

actually, your whole post was basically a "ditto" moment for me.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by golddustdrummer

except I can't forget....even though everyone else does.

Story of my life. I understand, trust me!

[Ghost_Tracker]

I've thought up a shorter, but not necessarily better answer:

Because Grease is the word. . . . .

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by Ghost_Tracker

Again, excellent answer.

He bought my mom a drink in the 80s. She turned him down after a few cocktails because she thought he was gay. And she said that to his face. Gotta love my mother....

[ILoveFM]

Originally Posted by golddustdrummer

that sentence sums up my situation perfectly.
except I can't forget....even though everyone else does.
some things will always be in the back of my mind.

actually, your whole post was basically a "ditto" moment for me.

SAME HERE!

My problem with my dad is that there was a period in my life (12-16 almost 17 years old) where he was NOT in my life at all. We were able to start over and we started talking again, but only about things like sports and school. He's never really brought up what happened when he left us. I love him so much but I can't forget what happened. So instead of me dating people like him or with his qualities, I've never had a boyfriend and I'm almost 19 this month.

How lame

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

Again, excellent answer.

He bought my mom a drink in the 80s. She turned him down after a few cocktails because she thought he was gay. And she said that to his face. Gotta love my mother....

john travolta?~ your mom may have something there, i still say he's gay, kelly is just his beard~

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by ILoveFM

SAME HERE!

My problem with my dad is that there was a period in my life (12-16 almost 17 years old) where he was NOT in my life at all. We were able to start over and we started talking again, but only about things like sports and school. He's never really brought up what happened when he left us. I love him so much but I can't forget what happened. So instead of me dating people like him or with his qualities, I've never had a boyfriend and I'm almost 19 this month.

How lame

I would think that your experience has perhaps helped form the idea that men don't stick around and you're probably very careful about trusting people.

I'm not saying we necessarily look for specific qualities (physical or otherwise). I think we subconsciously look for a "type" of man or relationship, even if we know that that type of man is not good for us.

[TrueFaith77]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

I got called "bubble butt" when I was in jr. high by some of the white girls. I also dated an African American girl in HS.

Then, you were blessed.