So why didn't you have a date tonight?

[daniellaaarisen]

I have a big reason or two why my luck with relationships sucks, but I don't think they root from the turnoffs you listed. Not that the list isn't accurate... I'm just not good at the "settle down and stop messing with his head for fun" thing. I like to play with my food before I eat it and although I am unnaturally good at keeping a guy's interest because of it, it never goes to "the next level".

Bleh.

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I have a big reason or two why my luck with relationships sucks, but I don't think they root from the turnoffs you listed. Not that the list isn't accurate... I'm just not good at the "settle down and stop messing with his head for fun" thing. I like to play with my food before I eat it and although I am unnaturally good at keeping a guy's interest because of it, it never goes to "the next level".

Bleh.

gross, gross, gross. not only is this notion gross, but it's wildly popular too. it's comments like these that totally undercut the idea that there is widespread misogyny in our culture. women are not victims of a patriarchal society; they've been complicit in the push-me/pull-you game of sexual and romantic relationships between men and women for millenia. it's just easier for women to cast themselves as victims than it is for men.

blergh.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by carrie721

gross, gross, gross. not only is this notion gross, but it's wildly popular too. it's comments like these that totally undercut the idea that there is widespread misogyny in our culture. women are not victims of a patriarchal society; they've been complicit in the push-me/pull-you game of sexual and romantic relationships between men and women for millenia. it's just easier for women to cast themselves as victims than it is for men.

blergh.

Hey, I agree with you. Hence why I'm complaining about it / working on it. Plus, I am totally aware it is my own fault.

[iamnotafraid]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

Plus, I am totally aware it is my own fault.

Maybe it's the "Stevie" in you.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by iamnotafraid

Maybe it's the "Stevie" in you.

It totally is, I'm afraid. Afraid or proud... it usually bounces back and forth between the two.

[Dodfather]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I have a big reason or two why my luck with relationships sucks, but I don't think they root from the turnoffs you listed. Not that the list isn't accurate... I'm just not good at the "settle down and stop messing with his head for fun" thing. I like to play with my food before I eat it and although I am unnaturally good at keeping a guy's interest because of it, it never goes to "the next level".

Bleh.

Hi Dani,

While of course I don't agree with what you've out here if you are deliberately messing with a guys head, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself! You're 17 right? I really don't mean this to be patronising and apologies if this is how it comes across but who says you should be settling down or going to any level other than just having fun? If you want to settle down then go for it butif not then don't feel too guilty aboutit.

I know you say you date older men but surely if he's a good guy he will appreciate you for who you are and everything that goes along with that, including an age difference. They shouldn't be expecting you to move to the next level (I'm not saying they will be of course).

Having been in relationships with both older and younger women, it's all too easy to put too much pressure on yourself as regards how you think you "should" be acting. This never ends well because you always end up feeling uncomfortable.

I'm really sorry if I've assumed too much and spoken out of turn but I just found your post interesting, having been there and seen it from both sides (being the younger and older one in the relationship) and from the guys point of view!

Al.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I like to play with my food before I eat it and although I am unnaturally good at keeping a guy's interest because of it, it never goes to "the next level".

Generally, guys don't like head games and drama. Stop it.

[Dodfather]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Generally, guys don't like head games and drama. Stop it.

I agree. Despite my last post, if this is deliberate then yes, stop it. The "play with your food" line would seem to suggest this, not a good idea...

You seem to recognise that in yourself though so that's always a great start. There's a middle ground between head games and not putting too much pressure on yourself. I guess that's what I meant.

[fleetwoodtrick]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Generally, guys don't like head games and drama. Stop it.

Ugh there was this guy at my school in Colorado who I liked like for two years (and he knew that too), but those were two things he LOVED. He'd claim not to like drama, but then he'd go around spreading rumours (<< Wow, I was an idiot. So apparently, this boy was the minority.

[fleetwoodtrick]

Dani, didn't you read that article in Seventeen about CODs? (Creepy Older Dudes?)


Or perhaps I am the only Ledgie who reads Seventeen...

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by fleetwoodtrick

Or perhaps I am the only Ledgie who reads Seventeen...

I lost my faith in Seventeen when Atoosa left. I began my boycott when I made all it the way to the final round of interviews to be a Freshman Fifteen blogger and wasn't picked. This is totally irrelevant, I'm just bitter.

To be slightly related, Dani, you're not like other people. You do what you want to. Or something I'm pretty sure you're not the first teenager to enjoy the thrill of the chase more than its aftermath, you're just the only one who has admitted it here.

[fleetwoodtrick]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

I lost my faith in Seventeen when Atoosa left. I began my boycott when I made all it the way to the final round of interviews to be a Freshman Fifteen blogger and wasn't picked. This is totally irrelevant, I'm just bitter.

To be slightly related, Dani, you're not like other people. You do what you want to. Or something I'm pretty sure you're not the first teenager to enjoy the thrill of the chase more than its aftermath, you're just the only one who has admitted it here.

Wow, you got to the final round!? I have never met anyone who's actually gotten that far in any of Seveteen's contests. You're so cool!

The guy I'm dating is only 1 year older than me. Though I will confess my love for Billie Joe Amstrong, who is 22 years older than me. But I have never met him and probably never will, so that plan will most likely fall through. He is also married and has two kids that are closer to my age than he is.

[LikeAWillow]

Originally Posted by fleetwoodtrick

Wow, you got to the final round!? I have never met anyone who's actually gotten that far in any of Seveteen's contests. You're so cool!

The guy I'm dating is only 1 year older than me. Though I will confess my love for Billie Joe Amstrong, who is 22 years older than me. But I have never met him and probably never will, so that plan will most likely fall through. He is also married and has two kids that are closer to my age than he is.

Sigh, I did. I would have been featured monthly in a huge magazine at 18 years old, quite a way to meet my "get something published" life goal. Oh, how it still hurts.

My two most significant relationships were pretty far apart on the age spectrum, the first was seven years older than I, the latter a year younger. Billie Joe is that old now? I never would have guessed.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

To be slightly related, Dani, you're not like other people. You do what you want to. Or something I'm pretty sure you're not the first teenager to enjoy the thrill of the chase more than its aftermath, you're just the only one who has admitted it here.

Have I ever told you that I love you?

Probably.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by fleetwoodtrick

Ugh there was this guy at my school in Colorado who I liked like for two years (and he knew that too), but those were two things he LOVED. He'd claim not to like drama, but then he'd go around spreading rumours (<< Wow, I was an idiot. So apparently, this boy was the minority.

Well i did say GUYS, not "boys"