I've been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder

[Mad4stevie]

Originally Posted by blackroses

OMG, that must have been so difficult for you. What a bizarre situation. I believe someone like this often resorts to substance abuse to make themselves feel better, but it only exacerbates the problem. I'm glad he's better.

Yes, it was very difficult. The level of anxiety that a person experiences when a loved one is this sick is horrible. I was terrified that I would get a call that he was dead. The worse part was that his family does not live here (they are in Kansas and Virginia), so they didn't see how sick he had really become over time. I was in contact with them before he even left for the south after the hurricane and told the family in VA, "please stop him, he's really manic, he should not be going into such a dangerous and unstable place right now". Of course, he only stopped by to see them for a few hours and then hit the road. They did nothing to stop him.

After his brother drove down to get him to take him to rehab, he drove over to my house to see me after checking him in. His brother appologized profusely and told me he couldn't deal with his mania for even five minutes and he had no idea how I had lasted so long living with someone that ill. My simple answer: "He had no one else". And that was true.

Even after he started to do better, there was no way to repair our relationship. For a long time, he was very angry that I put him in the hospital, even though he acknowledged that it probably saved his life. I know that I was resentful for having to take such extraordinary steps to ensure his wellbeing, but I could not imagine not helping him because of my love for him.

He told me last year that he realizes that I have a gift . . . the ability to love the way that God loves . . . unconditionally. He said he felt lucky to have experienced that with me. I now know how far I will go to help someone that I love, which can be both a good and a bad thing. After about a year of therapy myself, I decided to throw my hat back into the dating ring and have since met a wonderful man who IS the man I am going to marry. No matter how bad something can appear to be at the moment, it is important to have hope that things will change and get better.

I was listening to alot of Stevie during this time. She is a survivor, and I never appreciated that more than during that time in my life.