What happens when you die?

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD

sara gave me goosebumps with the garage lights. I am aware of my father reaching me from the otherside.

to what Sara said (I f**king hit the wrong key and deleted my long ass response).

When my Mom died on March 21,2005 at 5:07PM-I knew it. I didnt want to answer the home phone when Geary (My older brother) called me (I was talking to Lesa on the cellphone) to say those 2 words that are hauntingly etched into my mind-"Mom's gone".

I went insane, there's no other words to describe that moment. I destroyed part of living room as Geary & Lesa heard on the phones as I lost control of myself. I was about to punch my fist through the floor furnace, when I clearly heard Mom's voice say "What good will hurting yourself do now?"-So I didnt punch it. I fell onto the floor and bawled for 10-15 minutes as my brother/sister heard it all rush out of me, the loss, the sadness & the emotionally scarring pain.

I remember hearing Lesa asking what happened, but she figured it out without me saying a word. I pulled myself together as my older sister lost it - Here is a sweet loving woman, who had spent 40+ years of her life searching for her biological Mother, to only hear that she passed less than 2 months after they were finally reunited.

As I consoled my older sister Lesa (Who I had only known from Jan.24,2005 to that point), I noticed the front/living room was filled with the most peaceful & vibrant light I had ever seen. Weird, considering it was March, but yet there was the sunlight enlightening the room. At that moment I knew Mom had safely arrived on the other side. I will enjoy that memory as long as I breathe - that was the only time in my life I felt any kind of "peace".

From the evening of March 21 to March 25 (The day of the funeral) it rained. Finally after the funeral service was over the sun somewhat finally reappearred. My family members noticed that too. Mom finally stopped "her tears from heaven" for those of us she left behind.

As we stood outside (Geary, his wife Peg & their 2 kids Kendra & Shane and Debbie & myself) at Mom's gravesite, a small rabbit which was running from hunting dogs in the nearby field, ran towards us and ran directy into Peg's leg. The rabbit looked up at us, looked around and ran off. The funeral director saw that episode and said "That's your Mom letting you know that she is alright".

Writing this response is hard, because I can never let go of that day (Glad no one can see on this side of the screen - Nothing worse than watching a 6'-2" 240lbs man cry like a baby). That day I was finally alone in this f**ked up world. The only person who truly loved me unconditionally my whole life (Deb has since 1991) was no longer on this side of existence - But I am sure she is finally with Dad, the only person who also unconditionally loved Mom. I know their happy to finally be together.