I fee like poo.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD

Did you sister do Y?

yeah - it was basically a "if you contact this person then there will be consequences..." those include my sister being PISSED and my mom is no longer allowed to take my nephew on her own....looong story....

Originally Posted by carrie721

wow, deanna, that's some effed up shiz. why do mothers act so insane? and how do not insane people come from insane people? i never understood that one. good luck with all that drama. let us know what happens.

That's one my sister and I have been trying to figure out for a while. I mean we come from some craaaazy stock But well I don't think it's a coincidence that the most normal people in the family are the educated ones..namely my sister and me...and a cousin or two....

Good God I hope I don't act as insane and selfish as her

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

That's one my sister and I have been trying to figure out for a while. I mean we come from some craaaazy stock But well I don't think it's a coincidence that the most normal people in the family are the educated ones..namely my sister and me...and a cousin or two....

Good God I hope I don't act as insane and selfish as her

i spend a lot of time worrying that i'm going to end up like my mother. i think that the less you worry/think about it, the less likely it is to happen, because you're not focusing on somebody else's life. ennnywayz, i do think education is key because you're giving yourself mobility to get away from the craziness.

[JazmenFlowers]

sorry that so much has gone to ****. I learned a long time ago that you'll never be able to understand why certain family members act the way they do or treat each other the way they do and all it will get you are sleepless nights and anxiety. you can bet your ass they aren't sitting around wondering about this...so why should you? if they can't get along and your getting **** from both sides, then I say you tell them that your sick of their ****. you have enough problems to deal with as it is and you're not about to tack on their baggage. seriously. it's just not worth it, family or not. I have no tolerance for bull****.

...now, if only I could practice what I preach.

[sara1998]

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" here, but my grandmother was like that, and went to her grave like that. She manipulated my youngest uncle, he was her favorite, because he would ask how high when she yelled jump. When we, (me, mom, oldest uncle) wouldn't budge, she'd get pissy and say that we didn't love her the way the youngest uncle does. Pathetic bull****. She was always sympathetic and would loan you money, but would hold it over your head... "I loaned you money, now you have to say how high when I say jump..." I never asked that woman for one thing. And she hated it because she couldn't manipulate me, because she didn't have anything to hold over my head. I'm sorry about your moms Deanna. I wish I had some great advice, but I don't. I can just tell you that I've been there....

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" here, but my grandmother was like that, and went to her grave like that. She manipulated my youngest uncle, he was her favorite, because he would ask how high when she yelled jump. When we, (me, mom, oldest uncle) wouldn't budge, she'd get pissy and say that we didn't love her the way the youngest uncle does. Pathetic bull****. She was always sympathetic and would loan you money, but would hold it over your head... "I loaned you money, now you have to say how high when I say jump..." I never asked that woman for one thing. And she hated it because she couldn't manipulate me, because she didn't have anything to hold over my head. I'm sorry about your moms Deanna. I wish I had some great advice, but I don't. I can just tell you that I've been there....

Oh don't even get me started on my grandma!! My family is so twisted...but it's just good to know that others have family issues as well - or have been there. I just needed to vent the heck out of today

My mom has 3 brothers and 1 sister - none of them speak to each other - well a couple speak - but they don't speak to the others - depending on the week my grandma isn't talking to at least two of her children....I refuse to be like that with my sister - guess my mom resents that At this point I'm putting my phone on silent, having a drink and watching Sex and the City (my sister lent me the DVDs!)

[jannieC]

Deanna, my mom went through a phase of real f*cked-upness. I really had to distance myself from her for a while to gain some perspective. I had a very similar situation- my mother and I eventually found peace with each other but my sister could NOT forgive my mom and I always felt in the middle.

We hear about "toxic" people- your mom sounds like YOUR toxic person, unfortunately. Hopefully a little break will help to make *you* feel better, if nothing else.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Deanna, my mom went through a phase of real f*cked-upness. I really had to distance myself from her for a while to gain some perspective. I had a very similar situation- my mother and I eventually found peace with each other but my sister could NOT forgive my mom and I always felt in the middle.

We hear about "toxic" people- your mom sounds like YOUR toxic person, unfortunately. Hopefully a little break will help to make *you* feel better, if nothing else.

ps: what constitutes "toxic" is a matter of perspective. My daughter is toxic but if you talk to her she says everyone else is.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" here, but my grandmother was like that, and went to her grave like that. She manipulated my youngest uncle, he was her favorite, because he would ask how high when she yelled jump. When we, (me, mom, oldest uncle) wouldn't budge, she'd get pissy and say that we didn't love her the way the youngest uncle does. Pathetic bull****. She was always sympathetic and would loan you money, but would hold it over your head... "I loaned you money, now you have to say how high when I say jump..." I never asked that woman for one thing. And she hated it because she couldn't manipulate me, because she didn't have anything to hold over my head. I'm sorry about your moms Deanna. I wish I had some great advice, but I don't. I can just tell you that I've been there....

the ____ that was my Mom's Mother.

This manipulated ____ is single-handedly responsible for my Mom not being able to raise her daughter's when she was younger, which caused my Mom great deals of grief (I didnt know I had 2 older sisters until Jan 2005-Though I knew I had one older sister back in Oct.1989, But I blew my Mom off during that discussion-Sadly My Mom only had less than two months to get to know her daughter she had to give up for adoption Bonita, later to be named Lesa before she died).

When that waste of humanity known as my Grandmother died back in 1994, My Mom notified me by the local Police Dept.. The officer drove here to our home to tell me "Your Mother wanted you to know your Grandmother died...", to which my reply shocked the officer "So...". Thus ended my relationship with that ____. May she rot in the eternity that is her purgatory.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

the ____ that was my Mom's Mother.

This manipulated ____ is single-handedly responsible for my Mom not being able to raise her daughter's when she was younger, which caused my Mom great deals of grief (I didnt know I had 2 older sisters until Jan 2005-Though I knew I had one older sister back in Oct.1989, But I blew my Mom off during that discussion-Sadly My Mom only had less than two months to get to know her daughter she had to give up for adoption Bonita, later to be named Lesa before she died).

When that waste of humanity known as my Grandmother died back in 1994, My Mom notified me by the local Police Dept.. The officer drove here to our home to tell me "Your Mother wanted you to know your Grandmother died...", to which my reply shocked the officer "So...". Thus ended my relationship with that ____. May she rot in the eternity that is her purgatory.

I hate to say this Brian, (actually, no, but you're NOT going to like it) but, you and your grandmother will have to RE-DO this particular life lesson. What I mean is, apparently there is enough bad Karma between all of you to warrant another go-round at getting past this particular test. So your grandma flunked this time. She will have to repeat the life until she gets it right (in MY world view) and by harbouring negative feelings toward her, you are only hurting yourself, because you (and anyone who feels like you do) will have to give her another chance to make it right...........like I said on another thread, we are all here by CHOICE and we CHOOSE the people we are here with and any lessons we all need to learn are learned in tandem

(again this is MY world view)

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

I hate to say this Brian, (actually, no, but you're NOT going to like it) but, you and your grandmother will have to RE-DO this particular life lesson. What I mean is, apparently there is enough bad Karma between all of you to warrant another go-round at getting past this particular test. So your grandma flunked this time. She will have to repeat the life until she gets it right (in MY world view) and by harbouring negative feelings toward her, you are only hurting yourself, because you (and anyone who feels like you do) will have to give her another chance to make it right...........like I said on another thread, we are all here by CHOICE and we CHOOSE the people we are here with and any lessons we all need to learn are learned in tandem

(again this is MY world view)

life will turn in the TNT network, and keep repeating the same ol stuff over-and-over? Or is that the Republicans and their 'oh so loved' War on Terror, I get 'em confused

It's funny, Except for one person, No one in my family has any love loss for my Grandmother. My older sisters contempt for this woman cannot be describe in words.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

if they can't get along and your getting **** from both sides, then I say you tell them that your sick of their ****. you have enough problems to deal with as it is and you're not about to tack on their baggage. seriously. it's just not worth it, family or not. I have no tolerance for bull****.

...now, if only I could practice what I preach.

fyi, that is EXACTLY why I am SINGLE. (and I forgot to add: HAPPY)

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

sorry that so much has gone to ****. I learned a long time ago that you'll never be able to understand why certain family members act the way they do or treat each other the way they do and all it will get you are sleepless nights and anxiety. you can bet your ass they aren't sitting around wondering about this...so why should you? if they can't get along and your getting **** from both sides, then I say you tell them that your sick of their ****. you have enough problems to deal with as it is and you're not about to tack on their baggage. seriously. it's just not worth it, family or not. I have no tolerance for bull****.

...now, if only I could practice what I preach.

The key word is practice. And we have to always be on our guard in this way. I had some drama at my cookout on Sat, this guy a friend brought decided to drink for the first time in 2 mos and act like a complete a-hole. We called him a cab but in the interum he said to me, "You want me to stay." suggestively. I'm like, "I want you to stay? I don't think so." Score!

[JazmenFlowers]

Originally Posted by sparky

fThis whole story sucks. Mostly because of how typical it is.

you. are awesome.

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

The key word is practice. And we have to always be on our guard in this way. I had some drama at my cookout on Sat, this guy a friend brought decided to drink for the first time in 2 mos and act like a complete a-hole. We called him a cab but in the interum he said to me, "You want me to stay." suggestively. I'm like, "I want you to stay? I don't think so." Score!

hilarious. I'm sure you were torn trying to decide.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Good God I hope I don't act as insane and selfish as her

I hate to say this but unless we guard against it zealously (and sometimes IN SPITE OF IT) we turn into our parents.....its what we know. It takes a real concerted effort to change the pattern, and even then, sometimes the pattern overtakes us anyway...the older you get *if you are AWARE!* the more you see it happening...

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

I hate to say this but unless we guard against it zealously (and sometimes IN SPITE OF IT) we turn into our parents.....its what we know. It takes a real concerted effort to change the pattern, and even then, sometimes the pattern overtakes us anyway...the older you get *if you are AWARE!* the more you see it happening...

Well true as that may be - it certainly is in my mom's case (she is more and more like my grandma daily) my sister and I do guard zealously AND years of therapy will hopefully help out a bit too