Nostalgia.

[amber]

Always have been. But I always want to be 8, and I want it to be the seventies and early 80's, it seems so much simpler, and yet cooler.

Everything was easy, and all I had to do was run around outside constantly and play, play, play. In real life I had to do our grocery shopping almost every day, but otherwise constant play. I was like a little ant, running everywhere all the time. Climbing trees, jumping rope, hide and seek, tag, stickball, bikes, tree forts, rubber balls, skating, climbing on roofs, gymnastics, eating plums from the trees - that was my life.
The summer I heard Stand Back was the best. Coincidentally, but still. And summer in general - playing outside from 8am to 9pm, till dark. Then sleeping outside. Running around barefoot, sucking water from any random faucet you could find, not wanting to stop playing to eat...so picking plums and figs off the trees. Just being like a filthy awesome wild animal. I was always so upset if I had to play inside for any reason. I would just read.

I was so strong and free and sassy, I was good at everything, and my responsibilities, though a lot for my age, were easy. And most life pain was in the future, or just beginning. The personality was still a possibility then, still forming, I could still be anything, and dream about how wonderful everything might be.

Nostalgic? yeah, just a little.

School was fine, mostly good, but I don't get nostalgic for it much, except for the things you get to do in school that you can't do when grown. Like, play sports all year round plus be in drama, plus choir, plus band - you know, all those fun things, all encased within each school year, within each day. As an adult, you just can't do that many different fun things within a day.

So sometimes I'll walk by a field and see a girls softball practice and be nostalgic. Or when I see girls volleyball on TV. Basically, I'm just really pissed that I have to work, instead of doing all the fun stuff instead, and always have been. I definitely feel like working is life wasted.