How do you prepare to say goodbye to your mother??

[shebop]

What you said makes perfect sense to me.....
I knew for about a year that my father would not be around for long.
By the time he passed away I had already finished the grieving process and many people, I believe, felt that my reaction was cold. It wasn't that at all, it was just that my dad really hadn't been himself for so long that his passing was sort of anticlimactic.
As long as you are at peace with your feelings and your relationship that should be all that matters.
I am sorry you are having to experience this - it is never easy.