D.i.v.o.r.c.e.....

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Just thought I would let anyone who is interested know that I've started the ball rolling with my divorce from my dickwad of a husband. We seperated back in January but had to live in the same house until it was sold. The marriage had been having problems for a long time and him working abroad made me realise how much happier I was without him. Plus he was a complete asshole over Xmas, upsetting both me and the kids. So I told him we needed to split. I then found out in the February that he had been seeing someone abroad since at least the November (I think it was longer than that though). I moved into my little rented house in July (and I love it! Should have done it years ago!) with the kids and he rented a huge house... the reason for this becoming clear later on. He now has is 'other woman' living with him. She is from Venezuela and she's over here on a 3 month visa with her child. I didn't find out she was here until he had the kids for the first time ever (3 months after we moved into our rented houses). He took them to his, introduced them to her and then told them not to tell me. Bastard. My daughter, Rhiannon was very traumatised by the whole thing. I found out later that she had already been here since the middle of September.. playing happy families.. the child has a bedroom full of clothes and toys that he has brought and she is even in school. Anyway.. I had it out with him... told him I didn't care who he was with but that the way he had behaved had really upset the children. He tried to tell me his private life was none of my business... well I don't agree when it concerns our kids.
And then the money that he had agreed to pay each month for the kids was £100 short at the end of October... said it was all he could afford. Obviously he is splashing all his cash on Carmen Miranda and her child.... sigh

Anyway.. I've been to a solicitor and the divorce is getting started. He has always talked about leaving this country so I have a strong suspicion he will bugger off with this other woman.. maybe not to Venezuela but to Spain. He has always talked about living there. I'm well shot of him but it makes me so sad for my kids. Rhiannon used to adore her daddy and I've just watched that disappear for her.

Oops... didn't mean to write such an essay!

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by Gypsy-Rhiannon

Just thought I would let anyone who is interested know that I've started the ball rolling with my divorce from my dickwad of a husband. We seperated back in January but had to live in the same house until it was sold. The marriage had been having problems for a long time and him working abroad made me realise how much happier I was without him. Plus he was a complete asshole over Xmas, upsetting both me and the kids. So I told him we needed to split. I then found out in the February that he had been seeing someone abroad since at least the November (I think it was longer than that though). I moved into my little rented house in July (and I love it! Should have done it years ago!) with the kids and he rented a huge house... the reason for this becoming clear later on. He now has is 'other woman' living with him. She is from Venezuela and she's over here on a 3 month visa with her child. I didn't find out she was here until he had the kids for the first time ever (3 months after we moved into our rented houses). He took them to his, introduced them to her and then told them not to tell me. Bastard. My daughter, Rhiannon was very traumatised by the whole thing. I found out later that she had already been here since the middle of September.. playing happy families.. the child has a bedroom full of clothes and toys that he has brought and she is even in school. Anyway.. I had it out with him... told him I didn't care who he was with but that the way he had behaved had really upset the children. He tried to tell me his private life was none of my business... well I don't agree when it concerns our kids.
And then the money that he had agreed to pay each month for the kids was £100 short at the end of October... said it was all he could afford. Obviously he is splashing all his cash on Carmen Miranda and her child.... sigh

Anyway.. I've been to a solicitor and the divorce is getting started. He has always talked about leaving this country so I have a strong suspicion he will bugger off with this other woman.. maybe not to Venezuela but to Spain. He has always talked about living there. I'm well shot of him but it makes me so sad for my kids. Rhiannon used to adore her daddy and I've just watched that disappear for her.

Oops... didn't mean to write such an essay!

good luck pip, divorce is never an easy thing, i do wish the best for you & your kids~

[michelle2677]

anyone who ever said divorce was easy is lying. It is a very difficult thing, even if you hate the person. But you are definitely doing the right thing-obviously. It is very unfortunate that he is letting this other woman basically rule his life and seems to have forgotten about his own kids. if he goes off to another country, does that mean he'll be able to get out of child support?

I wish you the best of luck. I really do. Hang in there. The hardest step is actually filing, and then it gets much easier from there. If you need anything at all, let me know. I've been through it. Not with kids, not with a cheater or an asshole, but i've been there. best wishes

[sara1998]

I'm so sorry, Pip. I went through death, not divorce, and I would rather it be that way. I couldn't imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and stay strong for your babies... they need you now more than ever and they will realize which parent was always there for them.

[michelle2677]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I'm so sorry, Pip. I went through death, not divorce, and I would rather it be that way. I couldn't imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and stay strong for your babies... they need you now more than ever and they will realize which parent was always there for them.

yes. this is VERY important. Even if later on, he's off buying them gifts, and taking them places-getting to do all the "fun" stuff with them just to make up for not being there, while you're at home taking them to the dentist and making them do their homework-please remember when they grow up they'll know. That happened to me when i was a kid and I know it killed my mother that my dad hung the moon, but now that i'm older, I know exactly what was up and my mother and I have the best relationship. My dad? not so much.

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

yes. this is VERY important. Even if later on, he's off buying them gifts, and taking them places-getting to do all the "fun" stuff with them just to make up for not being there, while you're at home taking them to the dentist and making them do their homework-please remember when they grow up they'll know. That happened to me when i was a kid and I know it killed my mother that my dad hung the moon, but now that i'm older, I know exactly what was up and my mother and I have the best relationship. My dad? not so much.

I don't understand it from any point of view honestly. My folks have been married for 31 years, so I've never been through a divorce. However, I do know that once they are much older and understand much better, they will know who took care of them and who tried to snowball them.

[jannieC]

So sorry you're going through this. It *will* get easier over time, but right now I'm sure it feels very overwhelming. Good luck.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Thanks everyone for all your support

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by sara1998

... they need you now more than ever and they will realize which parent was always there for them.

Well thats kind of an unfair thing to say. Parents have their reasons for doing things. Pip cant stay with her husband, she has said so...well, maybe her husband cant stay with her either. He's got to go off and do his own thing. He cant just stay with her because of the kids--thats not the right thing to do either. I'm not justifying what he's doing...it WILL hurt the kids, but Pip can deal with it. She's said so herself. It's her kids that wont understand until they get older, and they can take their parents off that God-like-pedestal we all put them on, and realize they are human beings too...and make mistakes.

But from the sounds of it, he's already had this bird on the side and has been looking to "get out" for some time. He probably isnt making the wisest decision by leaving the country...he should stay close to his kids. But thats a choice he is going to make, or already has, and will have to deal with those consequences later.

At any rate, PIP...Sorry you have to experience this. My folks got divorced and it was just ****ty. It took me about 6 or 7 years to get over it.

[JazmenFlowers]

sorry to hear this Pip. it's never easy to end a relationship of any kind. take care.

[Steviefan49]

I'm really sorry to hear about this Pip! My heart goes out to you and the kids, and I'm sending you LOADS of strength to get through all of this.

All my love to you,

Arlene

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Well thats kind of an unfair thing to say. Parents have their reasons for doing things. Pip cant stay with her husband, she has said so...well, maybe her husband cant stay with her either. He's got to go off and do his own thing. He cant just stay with her because of the kids--thats not the right thing to do either. I'm not justifying what he's doing...it WILL hurt the kids, but Pip can deal with it. She's said so herself. It's her kids that wont understand until they get older, and they can take their parents off that God-like-pedestal we all put them on, and realize they are human beings too...and make mistakes.

But from the sounds of it, he's already had this bird on the side and has been looking to "get out" for some time. He probably isnt making the wisest decision by leaving the country...he should stay close to his kids. But thats a choice he is going to make, or already has, and will have to deal with those consequences later.

At any rate, PIP...Sorry you have to experience this. My folks got divorced and it was just ****ty. It took me about 6 or 7 years to get over it.

Believe me... he has gone off and done his own thing. And then he didn't even have the backbone to admit it even though I'd seen things with my own eyes. He also would never have had the balls to end the marriage. He thought he could lead two seperate lives until his lying **** caught up with him and I refused to put up with it anymore.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by Gypsy-Rhiannon

Believe me... he has gone off and done his own thing. And then he didn't even have the backbone to admit it even though I'd seen things with my own eyes. He also would never have had the balls to end the marriage. He thought he could lead two seperate lives until his lying **** caught up with him and I refused to put up with it anymore.

Mmm. Sorry to hear that Pip. Well I guess he's just a cheat then. My father cheated on my mother, so I'm told, and she didnt tell me that until after he died. I cant even remember how it came out. I wouldnt have believe it years ago, but I wouldnt put it past him. I'm sure he did. But it doesnt make me think less of him. I mean, it was a ****ty thing to do though. It just showed how much my mother loved us. She put up with him all those years to keep us together.

[danax6]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Well thats kind of an unfair thing to say. Parents have their reasons for doing things. Pip cant stay with her husband, she has said so...well, maybe her husband cant stay with her either. He's got to go off and do his own thing. He cant just stay with her because of the kids--thats not the right thing to do either. I'm not justifying what he's doing...it WILL hurt the kids, but Pip can deal with it. She's said so herself. It's her kids that wont understand until they get older, and they can take their parents off that God-like-pedestal we all put them on, and realize they are human beings too...and make mistakes.

Please, it's not always this black and white. When my parents separated when I was five, my mother sure showed where her priorities were, and they weren't with us. We were raised by our dad, she didn't show her face for years. And it wasn't because she couldn't, she just had more important things to worry about, like education and a career.

So, I agree with Maria, though I do realize it comes down to personal experience. But I've seen it happen with a lot of families that broke up.

Pip, best of luck to you, I know this isn't easy for anyone involved.

[mikeschmike]

Good luck Pip! You know we're here pulling for you so feel free to come and start a "I Hate Carmen Miranda" thread anytime you want!