comedy central roast of william shatner

carrie721 · #1 08-20-2006, 10:08 PM

anybody watching this?

when are people going to learn to stop putting farrah fawcett and andy dick on tv?

irishgrl · #2 08-20-2006, 10:21 PM

Man, I wish I had cable! I would SO watch that.....care to share highlights?

JazmenFlowers · #3 08-20-2006, 10:26 PM

I saw the roast of Pamela Anderson last night...it was funny as hell.

carrie721 · #4 08-20-2006, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishgrl

Man, I wish I had cable! I would SO watch that.....care to share highlights?

you can go to comedycentral.com to watch some clips, i think. my favorites so far:

*greg giraldo called jason alexander "the pillsbury jewboy"
*betty white said "farrah and i actually have a lot in common ... i'm in my 80's, and that's the last decade she mattered!"

*ok, the ONLY funny thing andy dick said/did: he admitted that his name is actually "andy kock" ... because he's the illegitimate child of spock and kirk.
*farrah stumbled through several jokes and trailed off before getting to punchlines. at the end of her set, she said "i probably won't remember any of this" - only funny thing she managed to get through!
*lisa lamponelli said shatner's next project should be a suicide note.

*george takay: "i've known andy dick for years, but until tonight, i've never seen anything but the back of his head!"

*george takay: "your acting is the only thing that manages to make me gag ... if my partner were able to suck that hard, i'd never leave my chateau!"
*lisa lamponelli: "i tried to tivo t.j. hooker, but my tivo suggested i punch myself in the c*nt."

that's all i can think of now.

Livia · #5 08-21-2006, 12:08 AM

It's recording - and I'm 1/2 listening to it. I love all the Farrah and Betty White jabs.

Jazzie - your new signature pic is gorgeous!! That may be my favorite one yet!

skcin · #6 08-21-2006, 10:53 AM

F*cking hilarious. I was laughing hysterically the whole time. I may have to get the DVD.

According to Artie Lange, Andy Dick was so messed up on drugs that a lot of what he did was edited out. He was really awful, apparently.

Farrah about Patton Oswald (Oswalt?): "I've had people tell me that they've pleasured themselves to my poster. But never while I was signing it, which is what just happened backstage."

One of the guys to Farrah: "I jerked off so many times to your poster, I was afraid I'd go blind. Now that I'm looking at you, I kind of wish I did."

Paraphrasing George Takei: "It's Tak-kay! Not Tak-I, like you've insisted on pronouncing it for the past 40 years. Here's how you can remember - rhymes with toupe'. I've had to stare at that curly tangled brown mess for too long now. Speaking of which, Farrah, close your legs!!! At least Betty White had the decency to shave!"

"When Elton John heard Bill singing "Rocket Man" he was so shocked that he spit Geaorge Takei's dick out of his mouth!"

Bety White: "oh, yes, we used to have a wonderful time at the roast back in the day. Oh, sorry, Nichele, you wouldn't have been allowed in then." Nichelle Nichols (sp) (Uhura) looks fantasic, btw.

Ben Stiller did a hilarious bit on tape, saying that he once wrote Shatner a letter asking for an autograph, and read a fake latter from Shatner calling him a dickweed ("I was 10, Bill!") and telling him to write to Takei, he was sure George would send him an autographed photo & ask Ben for some in return. Stiller said something about spending the weekend at Takei's & him saying that his lap was a cosmic transporter.

mikeschmike · #7 08-21-2006, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

Paraphrasing George Takei: "It's Tak-kay! Not Tak-I, like you've insisted on pronouncing it for the past 40 years. Here's how you can remember - rhymes with toupe'. I've had to stare at that curly tangled brown mess for too long now. Speaking of which, Farrah, close your legs!!! At least Betty White had the decency to shave!"

George used the word "sticky" when referring to Ms. Fawcett's open legs. I loved it.

That Lisa Lampinelli chick is really hilarious. The punch myself in the c**t line was hysterical. I can't wait until they show this on the Saturday night stash. Completely uncut/uncensored.

skcin · #8 08-21-2006, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeschmike

George used the word "sticky" when referring to Ms. Fawcett's open legs. I loved it.

That Lisa Lampinelli chick is really hilarious. The punch myself in the c**t line was hysterical. I can't wait until they show this on the Saturday night stash. Completely uncut/uncensored.

Really? I didn't know they'll show it uncensored. Fabulous.

JazmenFlowers · #9 08-21-2006, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

Really? I didn't know they'll show it uncensored. Fabulous.

yep. the Pam Anderson one I saw was totally uncensored. when they were talking about Tommy Lee's, um, third leg...it was hilarious.

irishgrl · #10 08-21-2006, 11:18 AM

Thanks youse guys for posting those bits! My GAWD I wish I had cable for that show!! I totally didnt realize it was so raunchy at those roasts! The roasts I remember were the old roasts of say, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. etc....

Livia · #11 08-21-2006, 12:47 PM

One of the comedians to George: "Yeah, it must have been hard growing up in the 50's, being gay and Asian. And with your accent, you must have had a hard time pronouncing glory hole."

AliceLover · #12 08-21-2006, 01:35 PM

It truly was hilarious. My favorite performer was Betty White (she looked so much better than Bea Arthur from last years Pam Anderson Roast).

Betty White about Artie Lange: "oh I always laugh when I see Artie Lange on stage knowing i'm going to out live him."

Jason Alexander about Farrah: "This woman was mainly invited because she lives under the stage."

I kinda feel bad for Andy Dick because I think he is really funny. His show the Assistant was so awesome! How awesome was it that Andy Dick licked and got licked by Princess Leah!!!!! It took me a while to figure out who that lady was, but I thought that was great she was there.

All in all I thought it was pretty great!

skcin · #13 08-21-2006, 01:41 PM

^ I forgot about Carrie Fisher in the audience! Talking about how hot she was in the gold bikini, and someone said "What happened? One too many Vicodin parties?" She shook her head & mouthed back "Percocet!"

skcin · #14 08-21-2006, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeschmike

That Lisa Lampinelli chick is really hilarious. The punch myself in the c**t line was hysterical. I can't wait until they show this on the Saturday night stash. Completely uncut/uncensored.

Lampinelli is awesome. She's gross, she's totally un-PC and I love it. Did you catch Pam Anderson's roast? Lisa said "I've had more black d*ck in me than a urinal at Showtime at the Appollo." I thought I'd pee my pants.

AliceLover · #15 08-21-2006, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

^ I forgot about Carrie Fisher in the audience! Talking about how hot she was in the gold bikini, and someone said "What happened? One too many Vicodin parties?" She shook her head & mouthed back "Percocet!"

HAHAHA thats what she said??!?!?!! She looked so gorgeous IMO. I was so shocked to see her there for some reason.

That guy who got off drugs looked SO MUCH better than he did last year. I could see a total improvement in his face. I was really happy for him.