What do I do? I can't get over it.

[SapphireSister]

My number one recommendation - be strong and do whatever you can to avoid him at all costs! At this point he is totally unavailable for a serious relationship and you must not forget that. If he wants to be with you he will leave his partner and you will be together but until he leaves this other guy he's not yours Curtis. Do NOT go to TJ Maxx where you know he works and you block HIM from messaging you. More importantly, DO NOT f*ck him no matter what. I'm sorry to be blunt here but that only makes it more difficult to move on.

Ever heard the expression out of sight, out of mind? Well right now that would be the best thing for you. I know he lives down the street so it might be hard but don't put yourself in a position where you know he may pop up. You'll never get over him if you continue contacting him (and vice-versa) and remember, you want to be with someone that wants to be with you. If you don't try to cease contact you have no one to blame but yourself and this pain will never end. I'm only saying this because I've been in the same position and it sucks arse honey (((hugs))).

[sparky]

That kind of chemistry is very difficult to resist, so I completely understand the attraction. I had something similar happen to me last year and it was electrifying and simultaneously idiotic. BUT, yes on the therapy and yes on avoiding him completely. Therapy, because deep down the attraction is probably about something else on top of the chemistry. Avoiding him, because the situation will only end up hurting you. When you get down to it, if you learn what makes this guy, and the situation so compelling, you can avoid people in the future who aren't good to you. No sex or emotional high is so good that it is worth suffering for.

[jannieC]

Heartbreak can be the worst thing, EVER. Everyone here has given you such great advce, but the problem is, until YOU'RE ready to move on, you won't listen. Curtis, promise me you'll stop with the booty calls. I only know you through this forum, but you seem SO far above that to me. You can tell yourself that you're using him too, but deep down you're not. You want him to feel about you the way you do about him. I was in the same position many years ago (haven't we all been at some point?). I never thought I would feel that kind of passion again. I knew I could be involved with other men, but never did I think I could feel such strong chemistry. But I did! And you will too.

I wish you the best of luck and lots of strength with this.

[michelle2677]

Curtis, I don't know you very well-er..well..at all really, but I'm really sorry that you are having to go thru this. The hardest part is dealing with it. Believe me. I was in a relationship-then "I" ended it. I never really dealt with it, and five years later it came back to bite me in the ass. The second time around I was the one that was heartbroken, but in the end, I made damn sure that I dealt with the pain. I also learned alot of things about myself that I really never knew. It was so hard, and I cried for months, but I got through it and you will too. And I'm not trying to quote stevie, or get into the "cliche" thing, but love really is a state of mind. You can fall in love with people and you can fall out of love with them. It is a conscious decision. It's just we dont' want to fall out of love with them. we "stevie" fans love to just drown in our misery, don't we also-Try not to do the rebound thing because that will only make things more complicated and possibly hurt someone else. whoever said it was more of an addiction/obsession is completely right. It completely consumes you and you can't even see anymore. Most of my friends had never seen me in that shape. I was always the strong one, and here I was, completely heartbroken. It was difficult. And there are even more things that I am having to deal with now, but I'll get thru it and so will you!!! Geesh..I even made a "completely and totally depressing songs" cd. DO that....go take a bubble bath, cry your eyes out and wake up tomorrow and see how you feel. If you feel like doing it again tomorrow-go for it.

another song....*sob* I can't make you love me-bonnie raitt...*crrrrryyyyy*
oh..and I can keep 'em coming *L*
chicago's look away, faith hill-let me let go, 3doors down-here without you
o.k. those were my depressing songs-along with others. soon you will be able to graduate to "YOU'RE A F*CKING ASSHOLE" music! that's the FUN part!! weeee!!! *big hugs*

[catinthedark]

Oh, Curtis. I so feel for you. When I fall, I fall big time. And the heartache and heartwrench can be so hard. I hope you can move on soon - try focusing on why he wasn't good for you or good to you. You deserve someone who treats you like gold. Remember that. Someone who's on your side. Always. Don't settle for anything less, my friend.

And I wish you courage and luck - and a little less pain.

[Brwn_eyes0511]

Originally Posted by catinthedark

When I fall, I fall big time.

Join the club! I pity anyone who falls as hard as I do...only to hit the ground...HARD!

The words to Remember Me and Dissatisfied will forever be my life...

[catinthedark]

Originally Posted by Brwn_eyes0511

Join the club! I pity anyone who falls as hard as I do...only to hit the ground...HARD!

The words to Remember Me and Dissatisfied will forever be my life...

I think I need to see those lyrics - who are the songs by? I am in the process of falling hard right now - and I'm not sure the guy is on the same page. I fell - for a guy who had never even considered me. Pretty much didn't know I existed. So it's been quite the few weeks - making him notice - very fun, but I can feel my heart sometimes waving out there by itself in the wind... There's interest, I think, but I just know I'm setting myself up for a big crash here if it doesn't happen. I think so often that I overprotect my heart - then I realize I actually do a really crappy job at it.

[Villavic]

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

My number one recommendation - be strong and do whatever you can to avoid him at all costs!

I agree..
Listen to Stevie Nicks wise words, when she was telling about the Rumours days, after breakin' with LB "You don't see that person the nex day"
But she had to, cause they were recording an album together, and it was a hell.

So you shouldn't see the guy unless you are 200% sure you don't feel anything more than nothing or just a real friendship. Otherwise, it's at your own risk

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by sparky

That kind of chemistry is very difficult to resist, so I completely understand the attraction. I had something similar happen to me last year and it was electrifying and simultaneously idiotic. BUT, yes on the therapy and yes on avoiding him completely. Therapy, because deep down the attraction is probably about something else on top of the chemistry. Avoiding him, because the situation will only end up hurting you. When you get down to it, if you learn what makes this guy, and the situation so compelling, you can avoid people in the future who aren't good to you. No sex or emotional high is so good that it is worth suffering for.

Perfectly put, sparky. (((Curtis))) remember you deserve much much better. You can call me anytime you need to get through a "craving".

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

...
another song....*sob* I can't make you love me-bonnie raitt...*crrrrryyyyy*
oh..and I can keep 'em coming *L*
chicago's look away, faith hill-let me let go, 3doors down-here without you
o.k. those were my depressing songs-along with others. soon you will be able to graduate to "YOU'RE A F*CKING ASSHOLE" music! that's the FUN part!! weeee!!! *big hugs*

Exactly, such as, "And when I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope ya feel it!!!"

I love that Bonnie song too, she's the best.

[cliffdweller]

It's like the cheesy Brian Adams song says:

"He's gonna run to you
When the feeling's right, he's gonna stay all night he's gonna run to you"...etc..

Ditch him. Like Suze said, this relationship sounds toxic, it's not good for you. It also sounds like you guys are drawn to each other because you know it can never work out...which leads to intimacy problems. Plus, this guy sounds like he can't deal in a mature relationship. I shudder to think what his marriage will be like.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

It's like the cheesy Brian Adams song says:

"He's gonna run to you
When the feeling's right, he's gonna stay all night he's gonna run to you"...etc..

Ditch him. Like Suze said, this relationship sounds toxic, it's not good for you. It also sounds like you guys are drawn to each other because you know it can never work out...which leads to intimacy problems. Plus, this guy sounds like he can't deal in a mature relationship. I shudder to think what his marriage will be like.

It will be short.

[ontheEdgeof17]

Thanks kids for all the warm wishes. Sometimes it just sucks that you are attracted to scum. Life goes on....there are plenty of fishies in the sea.....well, not in Morgantown.....I must move.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by catinthedark

I think I need to see those lyrics - who are the songs by?

Any guesses, as to who the songs MIGHT be by?
(hint:there's no chiffon involved)

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

Thanks kids for all the warm wishes. Sometimes it just sucks that you are attracted to scum. Life goes on....there are plenty of fishies in the sea.....well, not in Morgantown.....I must move.

Plenty up here in Boston! A whole South End full of 'em.