[Zombie]

Originally Posted by nailatixela

Then there is the attack on bisexually (especially on male bisexuals) from within the gay community. I've heard many comments on the invalidity of bisexuality, and general comments against bisexuals. Like how we don't really exist, or are just waiting to come out as gay. I've even seen these types of comments by gay members of this forum, and even at my school's gay straight alliance. Based on who they are coming from, this boggles my mind.

Sorry for writing so much! I don't mean to hijack the thread. But it's close to my heart, and I think the it gets better message is a really great one and I'm happy there is a discussion about it.

Don't apologize. Say what you need to say. The point you brought up about bisexuality is something I have noticed before, but what I usually hear from straight folk is that old "saying you're bi just means you're desperate, you'll take it any way you can get it" thing. I can imagine that behavior from anyone, gay or straight, is really frustrating and disheartening.

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

Regarding the whole bisexuality thing, I know how tough that is. My first bf was bi, and I've had quite a few bi friends. They've all said the same thing: they get the most sh!t from the gay community, surprisingly. I think that's unfortunate. It seems the gay community is hell bent on treating each other badly, and that's something I've just never got. The majority of the world hates our existence, why must we further divide ourselves? Whenever I see gay men being catty to each other about their appearance, etc it just enrages me. I just don't get it. We should all be judged on our behavior; how we treat ourselves and others. Nothing else. You'll find your comfort zone, and great people to surround yourself with.

Y'know, I get pissed off at the same behavior when I see women (straight or not) doing that to each other. "OMG, just because I'm a size 18 doesn't mean I'm not pretty or sexy, so why can't we just get real women in the fashion magazines instead of all those anorexic models that need to eat a sandwich?" Uhm, last I checked, supermodels aren't, like, Borg or something, so they're still "real women," whatever that means. And if you don't want people body-shaming you for your size, don't body-shame other people for theirs. Jeez. We have enough pressure on us from outside sources, why do we need to tear each other down in the process? Boggling.

Not trying to derail, just what you said reminded me of other similar annoying behavior.

Originally Posted by Nikolaj

I admire the 'It Gets Better' mission, and if it saves even one life, that's great.
But, the truth is, in some ways, it doesn't get better. It's just the way the US culture sees gay men, unless you're in major cities like LA, NY and probably many others. Anti-gay slurs are one of the last acceptable forms of bigotry allowed- most everyone knows now to use the 'N' racial slur word, or make anti-Semitic comments, but the 'f' term for gay men - or used just as an insult to any man- is still a part of life that hasn't gotten better. For many, 'being tolerated' is as good as it gets, and really, who wants to be 'tolerated?'
Don't mistake me, it is a very good thing the organization is doing.
I've just lived long enough in the US to know that when you compare the progress made in the past 30 or 40 years in civil rights, womens rights and laws protecting children, homosexual men (and homosexual women) are still way behind, comparatively. Gay men and women pay the same taxes as heterosexuals, who can marry any person of the opposite sex they wish, if both are of legal age.
In many states, gays and lesbians still can't marry, or even get insurance for their partners. The US constitution says 'all men (implying women, as well) are created equal... with... life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"--- Well, it simply isn't true that the US Constitution is upheld for 'all men' if gay men and gay women can't pursue happiness by getting married as any straight man can do, and yet the US allows it to continue. In legal terms, all that is upheld nationally is that all heterosexual men can pursue their lives, liberty and happiness.
The truth remains that many individuals and groups are still hell-bent on making sure homosexual men and women don't have the same basic rights as 'all men' who are supposedly created equal have, and it's just a question of human rights that should have been corrected ages ago and hasn't been.
But the teens do need hope, so it's great 'It's Get Better' exists, maybe it will help. I agree with Louie that you care less as you get older about what anyone thinks about you, but it's still a fact that it's not an easy road, especially if you really think about how far gay and lesbians have not come in being assured of basic human rights by law.

You have a valid point here, and it's one that many others have been making since the project started. You can read some of those views here and here.

You are right that it doesn't always get better for everyone. Even if the laws magically changed tomorrow and all LGBTIQ folks were afforded the same privileges us straight folks have, there would still be a large number of kids that suffer and grow up and still suffer. It's true that the gay rights movement has not progressed anywhere near as far as it should have by now, and that the progress that has been made has taken a long time, but I think that in order for that change to speed up and happen already, we need voices - voices from allies like me, yes, but mainly voices from the LGBTIQ community. Any time a gay youth commits suicide because they lost hope, a voice is lost - a voice that could have grown up to make an impact.

So I don't think of it as offering false hope, but providing some support to kids that desperately need it, in hopes that it will help them stick around longer and fight for what they deserve and should already have.