Forgive me...
 

I think most people are happier with someone to confide in. If they say they are not, I tend to think there is something else going on. However, I do understand it, a bit. But maybe some people just don't have those emotional depths, or whatever, that make most people need closer contact with others. :shrug: I prefer my own company quite a bit, but mainly because most people I meet don't really "do it" for me. But I love spending tons of time with those people that do do it for me. :shrug: Not that you asked. :laugh:
I think your friend may have a really strong defense mechanism, it is hard to believe that she feels that way. But maybe she's just blank and shallow??? :laugh:

I'll bite.

People who have been seriously hurt or betrayed by those they really cared about can act this way. Even though they may want to be close to people on the inside, they won't let it happen because they know they'll get burnt.

I personally have met very, very few people that support the concept of "unconditional love". People may talk the talk, but when the **** hits the fan they rarely walk the walk.

Wow, heavy! :blob1:

Initially, I would have to agree with your friend. My views on love are not what you would call conventional, i.e. that there's no such thing. Without going into my entire philosophy regarding interaction with other humans, I'd say that the individual's perception of love (particularly unconditional love) is largely skewed by the common perception. In other words, we feel what we sense we are supposed to feel.

I also prefer to be alone - being alone is almost always preferable to being with someone else, and that's not to say I dislike human contact. I just don't feel I get much out of it. Being alone is usually more productive for me, mentally and emotionally. I don't need to share anything with anyone, and I don't want to confide in anyone. That said, I differ from your friend in that I will always talk to people about anything they want to talk about, and I'll always help someone out if I can by being a shoulder to cry on, or just a sounding board for someone's ideas. I'll happily listen to someone's inner problems, providing they don't expect me to share mine. That makes relationships practically impossible though, as girlfriends tend to see a refusal to confide deeply in them as emotional immaturity or something.

However, far from you being the only one to feel that this is strange or unusual, I believe your outlook is of course the common one. Most people want at least one other person to share things with, often several people. It's not a weakness or anything like that - it's the opposite really. People are just different.

I don't expect many people to agree with me, and I might add that I don't really come across as someone who doesn't need anyone. My friends just know not to expect me to open up.

Interesting thread though! :nod:

I think that's true, but sometimes I wonder if I feel that way about this particular person because it's just too hard for me grasp the concept that some people simply do want to be alone and that's that. Granted, this person has been betrayed immensely, to say the least.

I'm one of like, two that I've met who really believes in that concept. Now, do I believe in the Stevie song? No. I think it's an awful song. :laugh:

This is true. Or they suffered severe loss. My Dad doesn't seek out relationships but he lost his dad when he was 12, then his favorite uncle, then his best friend in a span of a few years. That's what did it for him.

Everyone needs human contact. Some people manage to learn to cope without it but are they happy? Nope. They don't know what it is to be happy.

I couldn't agree less :) I'm happier than I've been since I was little - it's about knowing how to be fulfilled, and not everyone can find fulfilment in the same thing, in this case other people.

Certainly music and books, they play a big part in my life. Also I'm a big nature lover, I like to go out into the middle of nowhere and think, and watch whatever animals and birds are out there. I find I have to reserve time to do that because I can get stressed and a bit irritable otherwise - some people drink or smoke, but I just go for a walk! Much cheaper too :p

Me, too. excercise, too. But, also, I drink and smoke... :laugh: Though not drink much.

What is that saying?- "All the water in all the oceans can't fill a bucket with a hole in it"

My dad's father committed suicide when my dad was 18. He never, ever got over it and still has not come to terms with it to this day at the age of 72. My mom's dad withheld demonstrative, physical affection from my mom and it ruined her ability to readily dole out affection. Are they happy? Eh, probably not "HAPPY!!!", but they're as good as they're gonna get.

As for me, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 2004 was the best year I've ever had and 2005 is topping that. Can I forgive those that betrayed/neglected me? Maybe. Will I ever forget it? Never. Will I ever let it happen again? You can bet your ass I will do everything in my power to prevent people from hurting me- even if that means shutting people out. My happiness has been hard-won and no one is gonna take it from me.