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mikeschmike 09-27-2006 09:38 AM

Screech!
 
With all of these tragic events in the news lately, I thought you all might appreciate a little comic relief. Courtesy of the New York Daily News and Perezhilton.com:

Quote:

Porn star's name
may ring a 'Bell'






He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.

strandinthewind 09-27-2006 09:47 AM

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we play remove that image from my brain :laugh:

Okay - go here for a definition of the Dirty Sanchez.

Warning, though an animation, it is VERY VERY graphic and disgusting - while remaining hysterical

http://www.spazfarm.com/biff2.php [WARNING -- OVER 18 ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

sara1998 09-27-2006 09:51 AM

That's about enough... eww. eww. eww..... :laugh:

skcin 09-27-2006 09:57 AM

Wasn't he just in People magazine whining that he was broke & was going to lose his house? Pretty convenient - looks like he'll try to make some cash off of this. Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it. :distress:


:laugh:

carrie721 09-27-2006 10:01 AM

oh sweet lord. please tell me this is a joke. dirty sanchez? ugggghh.

mikeschmike 09-27-2006 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin (Post 575561)
Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it. :distress:


:laugh:

Oh sure, like you won't pick up a few copies for Christmas presents? :lol:

DrummerDeanna 09-27-2006 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin (Post 575561)
Wasn't he just in People magazine whining that he was broke & was going to lose his house? Pretty convenient - looks like he'll try to make some cash off of this. Although, I don't knw who'd want to buy it. :distress:


:laugh:

My thoughts exactly - I just recently read that People Magazine article...and thought, "why not get a JOB!?!" Rather than asking the American people to help you out of your own debts. Stupid.

This is just gross on many levels. The tape itself - the fact that there are women who will f**k anything even remotely related to the industry. The fact that ....well ok - this could go one forever.

Just ew.

DavidMn 09-27-2006 05:11 PM

I wouldnt mind seeing Zach and SLater in a porno together.:cool:

JazmenFlowers 09-27-2006 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn (Post 575780)
I wouldnt mind seeing Zach and SLater in a porno together.:cool:

um, hello! me either. :D

DavidMn 09-27-2006 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers (Post 575786)
um, hello! me either. :D

I think Slater would be the bottom dont you?

irishgrl 09-27-2006 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn (Post 575780)
I wouldnt mind seeing Zach and SLater in a porno together.:cool:

DAVID! (but they are hotties :nod: )

DavidMn 09-27-2006 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishgrl (Post 575801)
DAVID! (but they are hotties :nod: )

Yes my dear, my mind is firmly placed in the gutter.:lol:

ryan8472 09-27-2006 05:41 PM

Let it be known that when I read this, I started freaking spazing out and twitching because I was so grossed out. :lol: :lol: :lol:

goldustsongbird 09-27-2006 06:15 PM

He needs to document his loss of virginity, or else no one will believe him. :shrug:

carrie721 09-27-2006 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldustsongbird (Post 575817)
He needs to document his loss of virginity, or else no one will believe him. :shrug:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. best reply. :lol: :lol: :lol:

BTFLCHLD 09-27-2006 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind (Post 575556)
Okay - go here for a definition of the Dirty Sanchez.
[WARNING -- OVER 18 ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Leave it to the resident perv! :p
Did anyone ask for the definition?!!! :lol:
'Under the nose chitswipe' would have sufficed Jason!
Oh...and the warning? May as well have labeled under 18 enter here...you tempt...you teaze! ;)

strandinthewind 09-27-2006 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD (Post 575876)
Leave it to the resident perv! :p
Did anyone ask for the definition?!!! :lol:
'Under the nose chitswipe' would have sufficed Jason!
Oh...and the warning? May as well have labeled under 18 enter here...you tempt...you teaze! ;)

I was just trying to educate :cool:

Now, where is that milkshake :wavey:

BTFLCHLD 09-27-2006 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind (Post 575922)
Now, where is that milkshake :wavey:

Hmmm...isn't it the chilidog you really crave? :lol:

SuzeQuze 09-28-2006 10:46 AM

:eek: He must have seen the puppet sex in Team America.

strandinthewind 09-28-2006 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD (Post 575932)
Hmmm...isn't it the chilidog you really crave? :lol:

BOTH - I quiver with the thought of the mastication.

BTFLCHLD 09-28-2006 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind (Post 576059)
BOTH - I quiver with the thought of the mastication.

With the promise of purple mushrooms...I'm yours! :lol:

carrie721 09-28-2006 11:50 AM

sweet moses.

i was awake at 6 this morning and couldn't sleep, so i turned on the tv. what was on? SAVED BY THE BELL. i couldn't watch it. :laugh:

ryan8472 09-28-2006 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721 (Post 576075)
sweet moses.

i was awake at 6 this morning and couldn't sleep, so i turned on the tv. what was on? SAVED BY THE BELL. i couldn't watch it. :laugh:

Ho****! :laugh:

I think I would die if it were on right now. :nod:

carrie721 09-28-2006 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan8472 (Post 576076)
Ho****! :laugh:

I think I would die if it were on right now. :nod:

:lol: trust me, it's a good thing there weren't any sharp things near me when it happened.

mikeschmike 09-28-2006 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn (Post 575780)
I wouldnt mind seeing Zach and SLater in a porno together.:cool:

How about Slater going down on Zach while he talks on his HUGE 80's cell phone? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

carrie721 09-28-2006 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeschmike (Post 576083)
How about Slater going down on Zach while he talks on his HUGE 80's cell phone? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

that idea makes me want to die almost as much as seeing saved by the bell this morning ... :( :laugh:

ryan8472 09-28-2006 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721 (Post 576086)
that idea makes me want to die almost as much as seeing saved by the bell this morning ... :( :laugh:

Yeah...thats just too much bad hair and tackiness to turn me on. :shrug: :laugh:

carrie721 09-28-2006 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan8472 (Post 576089)
Yeah...thats just too much bad hair and tackiness to turn me on. :shrug: :laugh:

:shocked: :eek:

oh, you meant the hair on his head. :laugh: do you think slater has a mullet ... down there? :D

ryan8472 09-28-2006 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721 (Post 576091)
:shocked: :eek:

oh, you meant the hair on his head. :laugh: do you think slater has a mullet ... down there? :D

That would imply he had an extreamely hairy ass. :eek: :laugh: Business in front, party in the back! :laugh:

carrie721 09-28-2006 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan8472 (Post 576094)
That would imply he had an extreamely hairy ass. :eek: :laugh: Business in front, party in the back! :laugh:

:eek: OMG, i just laughed for a full minute! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :xoxo:

ryan8472 09-28-2006 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721 (Post 576096)
:eek: OMG, i just laughed for a full minute! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :xoxo:

:p :laugh:

We could take this conversation in all sorts of directions, but I think some of it is best left to the imagination. :nod: :lol:

carrie721 09-28-2006 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan8472 (Post 576100)
:p :laugh:

We could take this conversation in all sorts of directions, but I think some of it is best left to the imagination. :nod: :lol:

:laugh: you're probably right ... i've already built up enough of a reputation around here. :D

ryan8472 09-28-2006 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrie721 (Post 576101)
:laugh: you're probably right ... i've already built up enough of a reputation around here. :D

Well I had a satisfactory sequel to my previous post, but I kinda would like to keep my job as moderator. :laugh:

strandinthewind 09-28-2006 12:21 PM

Does anyone have a link to the video :cool:

mikeschmike 09-28-2006 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind (Post 576107)
Does anyone have a link to the video :cool:

the article didn't say if it was released yet, but I'm sure as soon as it is there will be a copy floating around for all to see. The question is, do we really want to see it? Will it kill us in seven days if we watch it like The Ring? Or Mannequin?? :lol:

strandinthewind 09-28-2006 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeschmike (Post 576116)
the article didn't say if it was released yet, but I'm sure as soon as it is there will be a copy floating around for all to see. The question is, do we really want to see it? Will it kill us in seven days if we watch it like The Ring? Or Mannequin?? :lol:

It may - unless we force someone else to watch it. Moreover, if we watch and post a link here, does that suffice for the week long challenge?

mikeschmike 09-28-2006 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind (Post 576117)
It may - unless we force someone else to watch it. Moreover, if we watch and post a link here, does that suffice for the week long challenge?

It might. I'll have to check The Big Book of Video Curses and get back to you.;) I'm guessing anyone who sees it is doomed.

TwistedGypsy 09-28-2006 12:54 PM

Ok, I keep looking at that link Jason posted and I would like to fully understand what a Dirty Sanchez is but the little voice inside of me is saying you will regret it. :shocked:

ryan8472 09-28-2006 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwistedGypsy (Post 576132)
Ok, I keep looking at that link Jason posted and I would like to fully understand what a Dirty Sanchez is but the little voice inside of me is saying you will regret it. :shocked:

If you really want to, I'd reccomend searching for a thread called "Pervs" from this forum from like last year. It's quite educational. :nod: :laugh:

TwistedGypsy 09-28-2006 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryan8472 (Post 576133)
If you really want to, I'd reccomend searching for a thread called "Pervs" from this forum from like last year. It's quite educational. :nod: :laugh:

Thanks...I think.


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