My mom passed away

[Jondalar]

My mom battled renal failure for almost solid year and we finally got her into a dialysis clinic near all her kids and she hit her head and died of a subdermal hemotoma at the age of 75. We were all there (7 kids) when she took her last breath.

Happened almost 3 weeks ago. I just started a brand new job and had to take bereavement 3 days into it and had to train for this job and suck it up. My mind is not on this job. Foreclosures of all things.

I feel adrift, like I don't know what to think or do. My dad only lived to be 59. His death was strange. He was trying to fill a water tanker in a cemetary so people could water their plants on memorial day and the leg buckled and crushed him in a cemetary. Mom was a rock. We fealt cheated by my dads death and thought mom would live a lot longer. She still worked at 75 and had no plans of retiring. She had minor illnesses but nothing major until about a year ago, when her kidney's decided to just quit working.

This weekend, we had to start cleaning out the house for an appraisal. I found tons of old things that she kept. Her kids were life. She saved my class ring, my varsity jacket, tons of stuff me and my siblings made and people were like take things you want. We found her bills and letters and I think starting to clean out of the house was worse than funeral.

I think nothing prepares you for the death of your mother. I think I could of left that house and walked off the planet. I sorta realized when I left that house that our family got the short end of the stick and that there was no god.

My mom had a will and insurance but she didn't have any of her papers in one spot and we had to search the house thourougly for all her papers and we are still discovering things. I realized this weeked why all her papers weren't together. She never planned on dying. She was planning to work well into her 90s. It's amazing to me that someone who had so much life and zeal died. I'm not way, so I never understood her completely.

I'm finding comffort right now in my booze. I'm having lots of trouble getting to sleep and and the only thing that helps is booze.

I just find surreal experience to be such a ****over. I an't really wrap my mind arouond it.

And no, I don't want help.

[mylittledemon]

I'm sorry to hear that Jond. I lost my father 5 years ago so I understand that you feel cheated. I can only take some comfort in the fact that I had Dad in my life as long as I did. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Silver Springs]

I'm sorry for your loss. *sends good thoughts and energy your way*

[darklinensuit]

Very sorry for your loss.
What did your mom do for a living at 75? If it helps, tell us about her life (not just her death).
Peace.

- Jake

[Jondalar]

Very sorry for your loss.
What did your mom do for a living at 75? If it helps, tell us about her life (not just her death).
Peace.

- Jake

She was a teacher's aid. Once all of her children left the house, she discovered the job. She handled hard to handle students. They liked her and she likked doing it. She took great pride in itt. The funeral was full of teachers.

[darklinensuit]

She was a teacher's aid. Once all of her children left the house, she discovered the job. She handled hard to handle students. They liked her and she likked doing it. She took great pride in itt. The funeral was full of teachers.

:thumbsup:

- Jake

[jannieC]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Jondular.

[Jondalar]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Jondular.

I just don't know what to think of it all. Thanks.

[Travis]

Jondalar ~ I'm so sorry for your loss. My father and mother are 79 and 76 and loosing them has been on my mind for the last few years now, though they are in relatively good health, you just never know. I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now. Best wishes for you and your family.

[Jondalar]

Jondalar ~ I'm so sorry for your loss. My father and mother are 79 and 76 and loosing them has been on my mind for the last few years now, though they are in relatively good health, you just never know. I can only imagine how hard this is for you right now. Best wishes for you and your family.

surreal...

[GODDESS6]

i am very sorry for your loss~

[Lee]

Sorry to hear about your mom, Jondalar. :sorry: I can relate though both of my parents are still living, my mother-in-law died @ the age of 77 of pancreatic cancer. It was a shocker. Though she had various other health problems, she should have lived longer. She would have loved her two grandchildren. She would have loved to have had them come over to her house so they could have been showered with love like her children were.

Please don't turn to booze as a solution. There are grief counselors out there that you can talk to. They can help you.

Take care,

Lee :distress:

[Enchanted_Stevi]

I'm so sorry about your loss Jondalar! I still have both of my parents so I cant relate too much. But my grandmother has alheimers(sp) and I feel cheated...I spent a LOT of time with my grandmother when I was younger..mostly because she lived right up the street and i rode my bike there...but now she forgets(even on her meds) and repeats herself and mixes stories up..

like she called me this morning and she TOTALLY forgot that I took her to the bank yesterday and that we went grocery shopping =\ she also thought that when my mom went to the hospital before she went to the rehab that they had to pump her stomach:shocked: which they didnt do...

[kak125]

so sorry to hear about your mom. take care of yourself and please come here whenever you need to talk or you can always pm me as well.

[WildHearted]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. My condolences go out to you and the rest of your family, and I'll be praying that you find some comfort in this time of grief.

[fumidesigns]

sorry for you loss *hugs*

[SummerlongBoots]

I'm so sorry for your loss/losses. You have my heartfelt condolences.

Life changes drastically when one parent dies, but when both are gone, like you said, it's "surreal." :(

It was a sobering experience to stand in front of my parents' headstone and see both their names for the first time. Too many emotions to name but "alone" ranks high.
I realized that I was now the carrier of the "baton" and had stepped into the next generations shoes, even though I was feeling very young and very small.

I totally understand your loss of faith. I remember being told when my father died (I was ten-years-old) that he had been chosen to go to Heaven because God needed him. (What? I needed my dad more!) Talk about screwin' with my head. I was pissed off at God but also petrified that he would strike me dead if he knew that. We've been on the outs ever since.

If it helps you at all, I do understand the "new job" situation you're in. I started a new job a month after the loss of a sibling and I was in no shape to take it on. I went from being 90% confident in my ability to do that job to zero because my mind would not pay attention to the tasks at hand, plus, the companies' "priorities" seemed so trivial compared to the grief and loss that I was dealing with.

I wish I had a magic pill that would make things better for you. Some people believe that time heals all. I believe that time lessens the pain. I'm hoping you will find peace in your own time.

[holidayroad]

I am deeply sorry for your loss. I haven't lost either of my parents, but I saw the hard time my husband went through when he lost his mother. There isn't much that prepares you for such a blow. I don't think anyone realizes how hard it can be to take until they go through it themselves.

[GypsySorcerer]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. :( I'll keep you in my thoughts.

As an educator myself, I have great respect for those who are able to work with(and more importantly, work WELL with) young people with behavioral problems. It's a gift.

[wondergirl9847]

Sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family. I hope you keep in contact with your brothers and sisters (?) as I would imagine that would help with the burden of sorrow.

I am an only child and don't even want to think about losing my parents. :(

[sara1998]

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. My aunt was like my second mom, and we lost her in December. Still going through all the stuff in the house. It is a hard task. So many things that being back memories. Try not to drink too much. I know with time the grief will get a little easier.

[Macfanforever]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom Jondalar.I''ve been down the same road.I lost my mom 2 years ago with a gallbladder/liver infection. at 77 .she was a teacher too.My dad is 79 a prostate cancer survivor,he 's doing fine at the moment.Take care of yourself.

[KarmaContestant]

Jondalar,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. The death of people close to me is not something I've had to endure yet. I'm sure it will be hard, but I can't really even imagine. I have no father, so I won't have to deal with that loss. My mom and I aren't close, and really haven't been since I was around 8 or so. As a result, I don't know what I will feel when she dies. We barely talk once a year - maybe twice.

Anyway, I wish I had some words to make it all better, but, well, I don't. Keep your chin up and know that this fog you are wandering in will clear up, maybe not soon, but it will in time.

[msLinds]

I am sorry to hear Jondalar that your Mom passed away.My condolences to you and your family.I am sending out positive energy and my Pagan prayers for your Mom and you and family.Take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

[BombaySapphire3]

I lost my mother to an asthma attack when she was in her early 6os .I was very close to her like you were to your mother so I think I kind of get how you are feeling .The grieving process is different for everyone but do know that things will get better.

[mylittledemon]

They truly are a gift to us for as long as they are in the world. That's the only comfort you can take after their loss. After the anger subsides from the initial shock, I think you will focus on the great things that happened in your lives together. I still get sad about my Dad and I still cry but I still think of him as alive. :o

[vivfox]

My heart goes out to you in your time of sorrow. I'll be sending kind thoughts your way.

[Jondalar]

I'm so sorry about your loss Jondalar! I still have both of my parents so I cant relate too much. But my grandmother has alheimers(sp) and I feel cheated...I spent a LOT of time with my grandmother when I was younger..mostly because she lived right up the street and i rode my bike there...but now she forgets(even on her meds) and repeats herself and mixes stories up..

like she called me this morning and she TOTALLY forgot that I took her to the bank yesterday and that we went grocery shopping =\ she also thought that when my mom went to the hospital before she went to the rehab that they had to pump her stomach:shocked: which they didnt do...

That is so sad. This last year, we through similar things with my mom for different reasons. At one point she couldn't remember us becuase she not getting oxygen to her brain. She was also saying things that never made sense.

We really thought she was going to get better. Like I said, she hadn't been in the ICU for two weeks and everything had stabilized and we even got her into a renal rehab facility close to her house. Apparantly, she fell out of bed and hit her head. About a week later, blood had filled her brain and the doctors and nursing home didn't notice it. We kept asking them why she was slurring her voice and they said it was from pain meds. The blood moved her brain by 2 cenimeters and caused a hermorrage on her brain stem which could not repaired.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and prayers. Last night was a bad night.

[gfd1963]

Sorry for your loss Jondalar. I know how you are feeling right now. I lost my mother, to whom I was very close, almost 11 years ago very suddenly at the young age of 64. It is a very, very hard thing to go through and you will have bad days and not so bad days but eventually you will find yourself having good days again. I don't think you really get over it but you DO get used to it and life does become bearable again - only different. My thoughts are with you.

[desertangel]

Very sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 9 years ago today and there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of him. They say time heals all wounds, but the loss of a parent is never healed completely... it just gets less painful.

[Sleepless-Child]

Just yesterday, i had a funeral. My grand-mother's brother died, and though we were not that close, i cried a lot, watching my grand-mother, and his daughters, my aunts, being so sad.
Then, i felt one thing : though you understand their pain, because you love them so much and because it's just a tragic situation (though normal and common), you cannot get it. You'll get it only when it'll happen to your parents.
That's why i'm sorry not to get your pain. I understand it. And of course am very sorry for your loss. You are lucky you have brothers and sisters who feel the same way as you do. They get it.

[Nico]

I'm so sorry for your great loss Jondular.:distress: No doubt you have been going through a lot watching your mother suffer in such a way...it's very difficult to deal with these things. I know that for certain. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Stay strong.

[Jondalar]

thanks for all these nice messages

[skcin]

Sorry for your loss.

[CADreaming]

I just saw this and I'm very sorry for your loss. It's tough to lose a parent. My dad passed 9 years ago this month and I worry about my elderly mom everyday. Hang in there. It's such a cliche but time does eventually help you come to terms with it somewhat. Praying for you.