Good or bad kid

[skcin]

Our family is having issues with my almost 14 year old niece. She's cussing out her parents, she's been caught smoking, she lies all the time, does poorly in school & apparently she and her friends have been hainging out with an unemployed 19 year old father of 2. :eek: Broken home, yada yada yada. She told her stepmom "If I had a dick, you could suck it." Real classy. :rolleyes:

So I'm worried about her & I'm trying to think of something to do for her or say to her without preaching. I then realized that I was doing the same crap at her age. Scary. I have thanked God many times that I'm still alive & have a great life - dumb kid, dumb mistakes. Many friends did a lot worse than I did.

I don't really want advice about my niece. But I'm curious how many of you were/are bad kids.

My "badness" consisted of:

Mouthing off to my parents, lots of yelling

Drinking & smoking cigs from about age 14 or 15 until adulthood

Smoking pot heavily for about 6 months when I was 15; then sporadically until I was 19.

Used to go driving with a guy friend of mine. We would split a 12 pack of beer & he'd drive us around listening to music. Sheebus. I can't believe I got into a car with him repeatedly.

NEVER being where I said I was for a period of approximately 3 years- partying in woods/fields pretty much every weekend. Walked to & from most of these parties alone in the dark many times. Spent a few nights outside in tents over the years with friends & boyfriends.

Kissed LOTS of boys at those parties. Oh what fun. :D No sex until 16 though. Of course, my BF was 21 at the time. Parents thought he was 18. :shrug: Oh well.

Got detention/ in-school suspension (they put us in the basement & we had to stay awake, face front & not talk or do anything besides study for the entire day) a few times, probably for smoking or coming in late or something.


I NEVER:

Did coke, acid or any drugs heavier than pot
Was promiscuous
Drove drunk (well, maybe once)
Called my parents names (or told them to suck my pretend dick)
Got into any physical altercations
Stole/shoplifted
Ran away
Failed a subject in school

Anyone care to share?

[amber]

Nope. Did acid a few times with my friend senior year and after. That's it. Oh, cut school or parts of school occasionally, with forged notes. Got in trouble in school sometimes for being "mouthy" and "having an attitude" :laugh: No drinking, no partying, no smoking, no boys until 10 days before my 18th birthday. Highschool GPA was 3.0 with lots of extracurricular activities and minimal homework done.... :laugh:
I was:
A) Scared ****less of my mother, who kept very close tabs on me.
B) To busy with school activities to really do anything that bad anyways. I had sports practice every day after school for almost my entire school life starting in Jr. High. Choir. Band. Drama rehearsal. etc.
C) Thought people who did that stuff were kind of dumb. I hung out with smart kids. And I don't mean they were dumb necessarily because they did that, I mean I just didn't like the people who did that, anyways. (excluding sex, some of my friends were hos... :laugh: )
:angel: :angel: :angel:

[wondergirl9847]

I am an angel and a saint who has never done anything wro......BWAHAHAHA!!

Sorry, couldn't say it with a straight face. I've lied to my parents, told them I was one place, but went to another, snuck into an R rated movie, told my mom it was PG-13 (I think I was 14 or something). Skipped P.E. class once and got in HUGE trouble for it. Failed English class (was supposed to recite The Raven, but decided it was crap, so I didn't) one six weeks and got in HUGE trouble. Have fought with my parents (yelling and arguing). Normal kid stuff, I guess.

I have never smoked, drank or did drugs and almost like Steve Carrell, am the 29-Year-Old-Virgin. :laugh:

Well, I guess I AM an :angel: . ;)

[skcin]

C) Thought people who did that stuff were kind of dumb. I hung out with smart kids. And I don't mean they were dumb necessarily because they did that, I mean I just didn't like the people who did that, anyways.


Oh yeah? Well f*ck you, Amber. If I had a dick, you could suck it. :D

I'm kidding of course. Looking back, lots of my friends back in high schoolWERE dumb. A lot of them still are, from what I hear. The funny thing is that me & my 3 best friends turned out great. Educations, jobs, homes, friends & family, the whole 9 yards. Go figure. :shrug: Guess WE weren't dumb.

[amber]

Oh yeah? Well f*ck you, Amber. If I had a dick, you could suck it. :D

I'm kidding of course. Looking back, lots of my friends back in high schoolWERE dumb. A lot of them still are, from what I hear. The funny thing is that me & my 3 best friends turned out great. Educations, jobs, homes, friends & family, the whole 9 yards. Go figure. :shrug: Guess WE weren't dumb.
:laugh:
Exactly. I probably would have liked you. :p

[estranged4life]

maker as a kid, I was allowed to say whatever I wanted with whatever words I wanted (My Mom believed if you had to say something you say EXACTLY what you wanted to say in your own choice of words.)

Out of us 3 boyz I was allowed to do whatever the hell I wanted, because my Mother trusted me to know right from wrong and I watched both my older brothers and learned from their mistakes.

I never cared to smoke or drink or party...Didnt see the point to it.

Didnt hang around with anyone in school I would ever consider a true friend...Didnt feel like being associated with immature asshats (At age 18 most of the people I knew were older and they said I always acted older than the numbers in my age actually showed.)

Worked 40 hour weeks at age 18....Worked for myself doing lawn work from age 12-17 each and every summer.

I had an "A-"/"B+" average throughout high school...So school was never a problem either.

My ONLY downfall is my extremely well-known short explosive and violent temper (Only reared its head when I was provoked)...Otherwise I was not a problem child.

[skcin]

I hung out with an older crowd too Brian. But they were the "bad crowd." I was 15, they were all between 17 & 22. And they all went to the rival high school. My future husband was one of them. :D God, him & his mullet were hawt. I remember asking my BF at the time "who's that guy" and he said "why, do you think he's hot" and I was all like "um, no, I was just wondering." HA! YES, I DID think he was hot! So there!

Come on, badasses, where the hell are ya? I thought my exploits were tame & so far I'm the baddest apple in the bunch. Lagringa? Sparky? Towie - come on, you & that hair had to have done some damage back in the day! Trackie? Sapphire? ANYONE?

Oh, yeah, it's Saturday night & not everyone's sitting in front of their computer drinking.

[skcin]

:laugh:
Exactly. I probably would have liked you. :p


I probably would have liked you too. As long as you weren't a cheerleader. :nod:

[amber]

Oh, yeah, it's Saturday night & not everyone's sitting in front of their computer drinking.

Of course the bad ones are out partying...or something.
and the good ones are home. See? It's all the same... :laugh:
In fact, I'm cleaning my refigerator in addition to other exciting cleaning projects....







*dork*

[CelticGypsy]

Your neice sounds like she is heading in the wrong direction. She needs a mentor or role model to get her back on track. If she comes from a broken home then her real parents and step-parents can go to therapy and get some things worked out. Your neice has some anger issues and she is getting attention from the parents by acting out.

I have raised three children and they are now on their own and doing very well. Most teenagers do mess up and make some stupid mistakes. All part of growing up. The problem is some kids grow up without any guidance and you have 40+ adults running around acting like 17 year olds and have not become responsible adults because they are too involved with drugs or alcoholics.

I am glad my kids are older than 19 years old and I never would accept that kind of attitude from my kids. That kind of disrespect is not needed in a home and that young lady would be on the first airplane to a boot camp if she was my child and she was not able to control her hatred for her step-mom. Her father really needs to explain to her some ground rules while she is living in his/step-mom's home. They need to set limits for her now that she is already 14. It will only get worse the older she gets if she chooses to be acting that way towards her parents.

I am not trying to preach but I do have a neice that is 21 and she doesn't have any communication with her parents or relatives since she was 19 years old. She was on drugs at age 13, she stole from her parents to get more drugs and she has gotten several abortions since she was 14 years old. Is this the kind of life you want for your young neice? Your neice is screaming for help and her actions are showing that. I hope her parents and family members will hear her and help her out now.

As for me, I didn't do anything wrong. I was one of those kids that went to church and loved school and I didn't want to hurt my parents by doing dumb or stupid things. I wanted them to be proud I was their daughter. My three younger brothers messed up and I saw what that did to my family. I didn't want to put my parents through their own personal Hell. Being cool is not drinking or taking drugs. Being cool is doing something good with your life.

[amber]

I probably would have liked you too. As long as you weren't a cheerleader. :nod:
I just told you what I did. Was cheerleading on that list? :confused: Did I stutter?

[skcin]

Celticgypsy,

While I respect your comments, I feel the need to repost my original statement.


I don't really want advice about my niece.

I am a nurse who has over 5 years of psych experience working with adolescent girls in a residential treatment facility. I am well aware of all of the things you mentioned in your post & I don't disagree with you. Thanks.

[GypsySorcerer]

I was thinking about starting a topic similar to this. Weird. Anyway, I was never a trouble-maker. Like Amber, I was scared ****less of my mom. :laugh: I never smoke, drank, or did any drugs in high school. My high school sweetie was very similar to me, good kid, and all that. He started hanging around with a different crowd, though, and we broke up soon after that. He never kicked the drug habit, and last November, he committed suicide. :( I still think about him, even though we'd lost touch pretty much after high school.

Having said all that, I couldn't wait to go away to college. I was on a mission to make up for lost time. And I did. :)

[skcin]

My last day of school ever was memorable. I always seem to go out with a bout of defacing. This one had some rather terrifying results though.



Spill it, heathen.

[skcin]

Oh must I? Not a kind of terror related to law enforcement although this Irish woman was probably scarier.


I love that I can never understand what you're saying. Now tell us about what a bad girl you were the last day of school. Wait...you're not just going to repeat the fact that you wrote that one of your teachers was a c*cksucker over the door, are you? Cuz that's old news. :rolleyes:

[skcin]

No that was when I went into grade 8, I had progressed by grade 12. This one was a large personal attack on a student left for all the seniors and staff to admire. That girl treated me like a second class citizen through school but I'm hardly going to maintain that it wasn't justified.

Was she a cheerleader? I loathe cheerleaders. I'll bet she was a cheerleader. That bitch. Do you have cheerleaders in Australia? Guess not. Still a bitch.

The great thing about choosing the last day to execute the final blow is that I bolted before I had to remove it and the two hours of the crazy Irish woman's near death threats were inconsequential.

Pure genius. :nod: Beautiful.

Still you need to experience the woman to know how freaky she is/was. My message was obviously lost on her because much of the time was spend learning about my subject's devine qualities in comparison to my own disgraceful patheticness.

Do you by any chance have a video clip to post so that we may truly grasp her insanity?


So what did you do? Write her name in feces on the nun's car? Take incriminating photos of her with a dingo & put them up on the bulletin board at school? Beat her to a bloody pulp & hang her from the flag pole?

Please. I beg you for details of your evil.

[skcin]

^ Pure evil, you are. :nod:

[wondergirl9847]

Was she a cheerleader? I loathe cheerleaders.

I was a cheerleader! :mad:

:lol:

Sesly, I was. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten to 8th grade and in 7th and 8th grade, I was a cheerleader. A sh*tty one, though, since I couldn't do anything like splits...I am NOT flexible in any way, shape or form. We weren't allowed to do any sort of dancing (Baptist church/school) so our cheers sucked. LOL

[GateandGarden]

Sesly, I was. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten to 8th grade and in 7th and 8th grade, I was a cheerleader. A sh*tty one, though, since I couldn't do anything like splits...I am NOT flexible in any way, shape or form. We weren't allowed to do any sort of dancing (Baptist church/school) so our cheers sucked. LOLI was a cheerleader, too. :shocked: I wasn't one in high school but I was early on, like you. And I also could not do splits or anything like that.

[skcin]

I was a cheerleader! :mad:

:lol:

Sesly, I was. I went to a Christian school from kindergarten to 8th grade and in 7th and 8th grade, I was a cheerleader. A sh*tty one, though, since I couldn't do anything like splits...I am NOT flexible in any way, shape or form. We weren't allowed to do any sort of dancing (Baptist church/school) so our cheers sucked. LOL


Pure evil. You too, Hil.

[Miss Vicky]

I am an angel and a saint who has never done anything wro......BWAHAHAHA!!

Sorry, couldn't say it with a straight face. I've lied to my parents, told them I was one place, but went to another, snuck into an R rated movie, told my mom it was PG-13 (I think I was 14 or something). Skipped P.E. class once and got in HUGE trouble for it. Failed English class (was supposed to recite The Raven, but decided it was crap, so I didn't) one six weeks and got in HUGE trouble. Have fought with my parents (yelling and arguing). Normal kid stuff, I guess.

I have never smoked, drank or did drugs and almost like Steve Carrell, am the 29-Year-Old-Virgin. :laugh:

Well, I guess I AM an :angel: . ;)

Sounds a lot like me. I have mouthed off to my parents, lied to them, cut class a few times (even cut out on my 11th grade English class the day of the final exam), failed lots of classes, went places without saying where I was going or whom I was with. Had several friends who were of "the wrong crowd" - a few of which prided themselves on their abilities to get the "five finger discount" and others who drank and did drugs.

However, I have never smoked, drank more than a sip or two of alcohol at a time, or done drugs and am a 24 year old virgin.

[DavidMn]

Well, I was a terribly hyper child. I spent 10 out of 12 years in special ed because of this. To this day, I dont know how I avoided drugs and alcohol. But thank godI did :)

[Miss Vicky]

Does that mean that having sex is classified as bad?


No. In fact I've heard that having sex can be quite, um... good? :thumbsup:

Just haven't found anybody mutually interested in helping me to find out first hand. ;)

[StevieNicksEO17]

I was never a bad kid. The most I ever did was lie to my parents. When I was younger I did have a bad habit of going places without telling them though, and they didn't like that too much. I do cheat sometimes in school. Whoops.

I never:

-Smoke, drank, did drugs
-Cut class besides study hall (that is one of the things I want to do this year, since I'm a senior)
-Failed a class (came close when I took Geometry)
-Swore at my parents, even though I've told them to die a few times I was REALLY mad

The last time I got in trouble was probably early summer when me and some friends stole a street sign (You know, the one that says Slow Children?) But I always get yelled at for my smartass comments.

[DavidMn]

I was never a bad kid. The most I ever did was lie to my parents. When I was younger I did have a bad habit of going places without telling them though, and they didn't like that too much. I do cheat sometimes in school. Whoops.

I never:

-Smoke, drank, did drugs
-Cut class besides study hall (that is one of the things I want to do this year, since I'm a senior)
-Failed a class (came close when I took Geometry)
-Swore at my parents, even though I've told them to die a few times I was REALLY mad

The last time I got in trouble was probably early summer when me and some friends stole a street sign (You know, the one that says Slow Children?) But I always get yelled at for my smartass comments.You sound like a pretty good kid. Maybe there is still h0pe for the future.... :)

[littlecricket2]

This is sort of embarrassing, but not only did I NOT do most of the things that so-called normal teenagers do, but I wasn't even aware that my friends/classmates were doing it (even though most of them probably were).

Didn't drink, smoke, shoplift, vandalize, or have sex, never really lied to my folks about where I was (I was home most of the time anyway), never mouthed off to teachers, thought cheating was an abomination, etc. I guess I was kind of antisocial, to tell you the truth. I didn't go to a single high school dance, which is really odd. Part of it was that I thought the cost was unreasonable (of dresses and stuff), and I didn't want to put my parents through that.

Of course, overall, I can't really complain, because I genuinely enjoyed studying subjects in school and did well for the most part, hence the lack of cheating, and I ended up getting a full-ride scholarship, so even after a master's degree, I have no school loans and no debt whatsoever. Never had to worry about STD's or unwanted pregnancy either. Being a late bloomer/goody-two-shoes greatly simplified my life. And now I'm still (happily) single and free to go on crazy roadtrips and follow my favorite bands/artists across the country and stuff like that, while many of my friends who were having their fun early in life are already married and saddled with kids, and living pretty provincial lives.

Oh, but I did try pot--but not until AFTER I graduated college. (?!) I've only done it a handful of times and I don't really plan on doing it anymore, but the first time I smoked from a bong was when I was in grad school and the people I was smoking with were a PhD candidate in biostatistics and a mathematics professor. LOL Oh, and just for the record, I am 28, but I am NOT a 28-year-old virgin. ;) Not that there's anything wrong with being a virgin!!! It took me a long time to find someone with whom I was comfortable enough!

[HomerMcvie]

Come on, badasses, where the hell are ya? I thought my exploits were tame & so far I'm the baddest apple in the bunch. Lagringa? Sparky? Towie - come on, you & that hair had to have done some damage back in the day! Trackie? Sapphire? ANYONE?

Oh, yeah, it's Saturday night & not everyone's sitting in front of their computer drinking.
I never:
-Smoke, drank, did drugs I tried nearly everything except needles. I was kind of a nerd until 8th grade, when I realized how I could fit in.....and man, DID I FIT IN! :laugh: Alcohol has always been my drug of choice though. Pot just makes me stupid. Acid used to be ALOT of fun. I'd recommend acid to anyone twice! The first couple times are the most.........eye opening, mind blowing, religious experience one can encounter. :sorry: ,but it's true.
-Cut class besides study hall (that is one of the things I want to do this year, since I'm a senior) I never was a class skipper.
-Failed a class (came close when I took Geometry)When I went from nerd to partier,(I'm fairly intelligent), I figured out that I could party, and almost NEVER study, and still get B's and B+'s. So, that's worked pretty well for me.
-Swore at my parents, even though I've told them to die a few times I was REALLY mad I never really got into trouble, save for once. I thought I was HELPING my friend, by sticking my head OUT the window to puke. Well, the cops, I guess, can recognize vomit running down the side of a car. :lol: I was 17, they were all 18. The cops sent me home with Mom. They all got charged. :o My cousin lived with us when I was in high school. She got busted every week coming home high. I was as smooth as butta. Never got caught coming home ****ed up.
Wine is currently my drug of choice.

[HomerMcvie]

I was a cheerleader, too. :shocked: I wasn't one in high school but I was early on, like you. And I also could not do splits or anything like that.

Maybe you have an aversion to your legs being in that position, Hil. :lol: :lol: :lol: :sorry: :lol:

[GateandGarden]

Pure evil. You too, Hil.Thanks. :D

[GateandGarden]

Maybe you have an aversion to your legs being in that position, Hil. :lol: :lol: :lol: :sorry: :lol:You are so bad! :laugh:

[GODDESS6]

fellow bad ass here :wavey: ~ sometimes i thought i was realy bad, but i didn't end up preggers or in rehab so...my dad died when i was 16, he was my life, i went buck wild after that~
i smoked, drank, smoked massive amounts of pot, tripped on acid like 10 times along w/ mescaline (*sp),i had an 4.0 grade point average & i did my homewrk, but i did skip school alot, i got hickey's, by kissing massive amounts of boys, i shoplifted once but felt so guilty i never did it again, got a tattoo (stevie inspired) of course~ i had a real smart mouth (i still do) :nod:~my mom said sneaking was my specialty :eek: ~ & like gate & garden i had an inappropriate realationship w/ a teacher~ now i know this is wrong, i spent alot of time after class w/ him, he was so hot, my history teacher, no sex, but i know if i led it that way it prolly woulda happened, when i turned 21, he called me & asked me on a real date, but by that time i had met the hubby~

[sara1998]

Come on, badasses, where the hell are ya? I thought my exploits were tame & so far I'm the baddest apple in the bunch.
Oh, yeah, it's Saturday night & not everyone's sitting in front of their computer drinking.
Well, I wasn't a badass, but I get an e for effort! :lol: I think I tried every drug available to me, except needles. I started this when I was about 14 or 15. Acid was great. I like mushrooms better, but it's been close to 10 years since I've done anything like that. I drank and smoked pot and cigarettes on a regular basis up until adulthood. I still smoke cigarettes, (but I'm trying to quit) and every once in a blue moon, I'll smoke pot, but it don't take much! :rolleyes:

As far as being bad, I had a mouth, but for the most part, I was close to my parents, so I didn't want to piss 'em off too bad. I would cut school all the time. Especially once I got a car. I was the first one out of my friends to get a car, too, and whenever someone wanted to cut a class, they would sit in my car and get high, and leave the roach of the joint for me. Somedays, I had tons of weed!!

Thank God we all grow up for the most part. I still have a mouth :laugh: but I have made a complete turnaround from those days.

[Stephanie]

I was generally considered bad. I mouthed off to my parents, lied to them, cut class MANY times (parents got letter I had missed 27 days of 7th grade). My 7th grade math teacher told me I would "never amount to anything." Never smoked or did drugs though.

When I was in 9th grade my new best friend decided to become an honor student. That pissed me off, so I decided that if she was going to do that, I would also. That worked out well, because my parents were rather lenient as long as the report card was good.

So when I got my doctorate, I tried to find that math teacher, but no luck. That would have been hilarious!

[sara1998]

My 7th grade math teacher told me I would "never amount to anything."
I had a 5th grade teacher who said the same thing. She said also that I would never graduate High School. When I graduated, I sent her an annoucement with a picture of myself included and a note that read something about be careful who you tell won't amount to anything. They may prove you wrong.

[sara1998]

Good deal. I wish I'd gone to a public school just so I could have cut class, this would have made the experience much nicer. Oh how I would have liked to be bad but they wouldn't let you, the effort involved in cutting class was more than the effort involved in attending. I was an official note-writer for skipping athletics, apparently my writing looked like an adult's. This thread makes me sad, to think of those years that could have been spent stoned, instead spent sitting there looking out the window in a state of blandness.
I'm sorry you missed what could have been the funnest part of adolescense. I did really enjoy my roach joints after school every day, though.

[littlecricket2]

OMG, I'm a teacher and I would NEVER tell a student that they'd never amount to anything. First off, it does absolutely nothing to help matters. And secondly, of COURSE they're going to prove you wrong. LOL How a child/adolescent behaves is not always a good indicator of how they'll be as an adult.

Hmm...maybe those teachers were just trying out reverse psychology...I still would never say that though. It's such a cliche, and very shortsighted.

[Stephanie]

I had a 5th grade teacher who said the same thing. She said also that I would never graduate High School. When I graduated, I sent her an annoucement with a picture of myself included and a note that read something about be careful who you tell won't amount to anything. They may prove you wrong.

I really wanted to do that. I called the school, and searched the town. no sign of him. I guess he was probably very old by then, The timespan between his comment and the end of my education would have been 13 years. Oh well.

[littlecricket2]

It reminds you (by that I mean me) that those in the authority (basically parents and teachers when you're little) are actually just people. I remember really early on a teacher tried to tie me to the chair, it's only recently that I realise she was just weird. Sometimes I wish I'd known all this sooner but then on the other hand that might be scary, knowing that the be-all and end-all don't always know what they're doing. Actually no, I think it would have been better to have been informed. Er.....maybe that was the wrong person to say that to. Of course it doesn't mean all teacher are lunatics, just that like with everyone else in society, they're not exempt from being such.

You're not gonna offend me by saying "teachers are just people." What the hell else would we be? LOL I wish more people would realize that. Some teachers are fine, upstanding citizens who, although they make mistakes (and some are more competent than others) really do want what's best for all the kids, and then some are wackjobs. And you get everything in between too.

*Lisa Anne*

[MoonChilde]

:angel: Wow I'm impressed on good everyone was!! You guys sound like angels compared some of the stuff I did when I was a teen.LOL.
Mind you I think maybe growing up in the era I did was a bit differnt then most of the posters ..I was the WildChild ..I went from being a honor student /teachers pet to wildchild.from the time I was 13 till I was 2o something.
Lets just put it this way Stevie and I probably have a lot in common..well except for all the men and sex..
:angel:

[amber]

I would cut school all the time. Especially once I got a car. I was the first one out of my friends to get a car, too, and whenever someone wanted to cut a class, they would sit in my car and get high, and leave the roach of the joint for me. Somedays, I had tons of weed!!

*sigh*. We would cut class to go to the river, or go eat, or something. :rolleyes: And all my friends were vegetarians, so we usually had to eat at Taco Bell. :laugh: Sometimes cut to take acid. Course, some of my friends would also cut to go have sex. :laugh: We were so wholesome.... :p

[skcin]

This thread makes me sad, to think of those years that could have been spent stoned, instead spent sitting there looking out the window in a state of blandness.

No worries. Still plenty of time to do that.




I once had a teacher who took an instant dislike to me and made my life hell. I guess I was about 10 at the time. She would constantly be on my back about things, she would mark my work harshly, she would phone my mother at the smallest thing. I don't know why she hated me so much to this day.


Maybe she didn't really hate you. Maybe she actually hated Lionel Ritchie's clay head. I must have taken up your entire desk.