What should I do/rant

[DrummerDeanna]

Okay - so I'm been in Rochester for almost a year now.

I've met some nice people - there are a couple of girls I go to dinner with about once a week.

My problem? I REALLY REALLY DISLIKE one of them. Now - she's a very sweet girl - but she is not very bright - and she totally lacks common sense. She never has anything of value to contribute to conversations - mostly she sits there and nods - then states the obvious. Or she'll try to contribute by telling a story -and she'll laugh and laugh through the whole story - and I NEVER find them funny -they're really really stupid - like I don't even think my 6 year old nephew would find them funny.

I think she's got a learning disability of some sort because her ability to retain information is pretty much nil - she doesn't seem to be able to read too well - like she got a ticket once and was telling us and she said, "The instructions say i have to go down to the traffic 'boo-roo' " BOO-ROO - was actually Bureau. Ok - then we were eating at REd Lobster once and she ordered the admiral's platter - only she asked for the "add-MY-rals" platter. wtf.

Ok - anyway - her very pressence annoys the **** out of me. SEriously. And so lately I am just outright not nice to her - I correct her stupid statements etc....it's horrible.

BUT the other girl (who says she too is annoyed by this girl) doesn't want us to not go out - and i do like the other girl.

I'm at my wits end though. I tried to have a little gathering last weekend WITHOUT said girl - she called right before it and said, "I heard that you might be having something at your place- am I invited" ugh...she had already talked to our friend and I felt really bad saying no - so I said yes :rolleyes:

So it's not like she's outwardly doing anything to me - she's very nice and all that - she just makes me want to put sharp things in my eye.

How does one dump a friend? what should I do about this situation ?

I've tried taking a few weeks off from seeing her -but the minute I do all my rage comes back.

[trackaghost]

Oh my god, the bureau thing really made me laugh! Oh dear.

That is a very difficult situation. I've had to deal with people I don't like who just bring out the worst in me too, but luckily not so much in a social situation.

I wish I could be of more help Deanna, I have no clue, unless you and the other girl could arrange to meet independently of her and agree not to tell her.
It's so hard when you're trying to spare a person's feelings, I know.

[DrummerDeanna]

Yeah - me and the other girl often do things on the weekend or whatever - without stupid girl - but she then finds out and seems all hurt. Ugh - I just CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!

I was just thrown over the line on Friday when she came to my house and has nothing but stupid obvious **** to spew. I mean imagine someone who the entire night say's things like "oh you have carpet" or "your dog is furry" or "it's cold in the freezer" what the hell...we watched a movie and she TOTALLY missed the point of it - and I let her know :laugh:

I hate being über bitch but it's like when she's around I just can't help myself!!

What makes it worse is that she is very sweet and it's more my issue with her than anything she is doing per se.

[GypsySorcerer]

What makes it worse is that she is very sweet and it's more my issue with her than anything she is doing per se.
I hate situations like that. I would just ignore her, and eventually, she should get the hint.

[strandinthewind]

Okay - so I'm been in Rochester for almost a year now.

I've met some nice people - there are a couple of girls I go to dinner with about once a week.

My problem? I REALLY REALLY DISLIKE one of them. Now - she's a very sweet girl - but she is not very bright - and she totally lacks common sense. She never has anything of value to contribute to conversations - mostly she sits there and nods - then states the obvious. Or she'll try to contribute by telling a story -and she'll laugh and laugh through the whole story - and I NEVER find them funny -they're really really stupid - like I don't even think my 6 year old nephew would find them funny.

I think she's got a learning disability of some sort because her ability to retain information is pretty much nil - she doesn't seem to be able to read too well - like she got a ticket once and was telling us and she said, "The instructions say i have to go down to the traffic 'boo-roo' " BOO-ROO - was actually Bureau. Ok - then we were eating at REd Lobster once and she ordered the admiral's platter - only she asked for the "add-MY-rals" platter. wtf.

Ok - anyway - her very pressence annoys the **** out of me. SEriously. And so lately I am just outright not nice to her - I correct her stupid statements etc....it's horrible.

BUT the other girl (who says she too is annoyed by this girl) doesn't want us to not go out - and i do like the other girl.

I'm at my wits end though. I tried to have a little gathering last weekend WITHOUT said girl - she called right before it and said, "I heard that you might be having something at your place- am I invited" ugh...she had already talked to our friend and I felt really bad saying no - so I said yes :rolleyes:

So it's not like she's outwardly doing anything to me - she's very nice and all that - she just makes me want to put sharp things in my eye.

How does one dump a friend? what should I do about this situation ?

I've tried taking a few weeks off from seeing her -but the minute I do all my rage comes back.

If you are to the point where you cannot be civil and are bring rude by corecting her, etc. - and if she was friends with this group first and they like her, etc. - then you should walk away. Nobody wants to be alienated from their friends solely because a newcomer does not like them regardless of whether the newcomer is right or wrong.

[DrummerDeanna]

I'm not a newcomer. We all met at the same time - and started hanging out at the same time.

I think I am going to have to walk away though - I mean - like I said - the other girl claims she can't stand this other girl too - but she does not seem to be as bad off as I am - she's better at tolerating her than I.

Also - I've tried just ignoring her - not taking her phone calls - not talking to her -she doesn't get this hint - she steps up efforts to talk to me.

[estranged4life]

like she got a ticket once and was telling us and she said, "The instructions say i have to go down to the traffic 'boo-roo' " BOO-ROO - was actually Bureau.

'boo-roo'? Sounds like something Scooby Doo would say :lol:

[Johnny Stew]

I think she's got a learning disability of some sort because her ability to retain information is pretty much nil - she doesn't seem to be able to read too well - Maybe she does have a learning disability or some other type of challenge. That's very possible from what you described.

I realize being her friend can be exasperating, but if you and your other friend feel this way about her, then she's probably been dealing with these types of reactions from people her entire life.

The nicest thing you could do, might be to reach out to her more and make sure that she feels included. You never know how much it might mean to her to feel accepted.

[amber]

The nicest thing you could do, might be to reach out to her more and make sure that she feels included. You never know how much it might mean to her to feel accepted.
that of course is a great idea, stew, but did you notice the part where deanna says the girl makes her want to stick sharp objects into her own eyes? That she can't stand her, that the girl is driving her absolutely nuts? that she can't help correcting the girl, and being rude? Does deanna strike you as a mean person? no. This girl would obviously try the patience of a rock.
good idea, though. Hey, maybe you should call the girl! :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

that of course is a great idea, stew, but did you notice the part where deanna says the girl makes her want to stick sharp objects into her own eyes? That she can't stand her, that the girl is driving her absolutely nuts? that she can't help correcting the girl, and being rude? Does deanna strike you as a mean person? no. This girl would obviously try the patience of a rock.
good idea, though. Hey, maybe you should call the girl! :laugh:Deanna's definitely not a mean person, and I completely understand that this girl sounds like she would try the patience of Mother Teresa.
But some people do need a little extra patience and understanding.

[amber]

Deanna's definitely not a mean person, and I completely understand that this girl sounds like she would try the patience of Mother Teresa.
But some people do need a little extra patience and understanding.
yes, they need it, but that doesn't mean everyone is equipped to provide it.

[Johnny Stew]

yes, they need it, but that doesn't mean everyone is equipped to provide it.I think we can all be more nurturing if we want to. It's not so much a matter of not being equipped, but more a matter of not having the desire.
Though I'm not saying this is the case in Deanna's situation... not at all... I'm just speaking in generalities.

[amber]

I think we can all be more nurturing if we want to. It's not so much a matter of not being equipped, but more a matter of not having the desire.
Though I'm not saying this is the case in Deanna's situation... not at all... I'm just speaking in generalities.
I suppose. But if we could, why wouldn't we? And, yeah, it seems like Deanna has tried.

*I think I just overdosed on sacharine reading this post. twitch.*

[DrummerDeanna]

:laugh: I'm sorry but the above Stew/Amber exchange = giggles :D

The thing is - the fact that she can't help the way she is etc is what has made me feel SO bad about this whole thing.

I HAVE tried - every week I try - and I get myself to this place mentally where I think I'm all prepared and can handle it - then it all goes out the window when she opens her mouth.

Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with an abundance of - I admit that - but again, I've tried to be a friend - it worked briefly - I was doing ok - then I made the mistake of letting her dog/house sit - and that was just bad and now I just want to hurt her most of the time :distress: and I'm a believer in the whole "do unto others" so I hate that I get so bitchy around her...

I know I need to walk away - but I guess the fact that I enjoy the company of the other girl makes it all that much harder.

[Serrart]

:laugh: I'm sorry but the above Stew/Amber exchange = giggles :D

The thing is - the fact that she can't help the way she is etc is what has made me feel SO bad about this whole thing.

I HAVE tried - every week I try - and I get myself to this place mentally where I think I'm all prepared and can handle it - then it all goes out the window when she opens her mouth.

Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with an abundance of - I admit that - but again, I've tried to be a friend - it worked briefly - I was doing ok - then I made the mistake of letting her dog/house sit - and that was just bad and now I just want to hurt her most of the time :distress: and I'm a believer in the whole "do unto others" so I hate that I get so bitchy around her...

I know I need to walk away - but I guess the fact that I enjoy the company of the other girl makes it all that much harder.

Can't the other girl go out with you and her separately?

Romy

[Johnny Stew]

I suppose. But if we could, why wouldn't we?I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives. It's actually pretty easy to be nice to someone, though it does take a little bit of extra effort... so I guess most people just don't want to be bothered. :shrug:

*I think I just overdosed on sacharine reading this post. twitch.*:laugh:

They used to call me "Mister Rogers" in school (well, among other things! :laugh: ), but I always took it as a compliment.

[amber]

I think sometimes we get too wrapped up in our own lives. It's actually pretty easy to be nice to someone, though it does take a little bit of extra effort... so I guess most people just don't want to be bothered. :shrug:

:laugh:

They used to call me "Mister Rogers" in school (well, among other things! :laugh: ), but I always took it as a compliment.
blergh. I use my extra effort just to be as nice as I am now. :laugh:
yeah, you're pretty sickening. ;) :xoxo: :laugh:

[DrummerDeanna]

It takes all my extra effort not to yell at her and call her names ...maybe I'm evil - I sure as hell feel that way - especially is she has a disorder....but like Amber said - and I wholeheartedly agree - not all of us are equipped to handle people like that :shrug:

That's why there aren't more special ed teachers in the world - I have nothing against anyone with any disorders or disabilities - my grandma was a special ed teacher as is a good friend of mine and I've learned since I was little to respect everyone...

But this girl really triggers something in me....and I do feel totally and completely evil for disliking her so much. :distress:

[Johnny Stew]

:laugh: I'm sorry but the above Stew/Amber exchange = giggles :D

The thing is - the fact that she can't help the way she is etc is what has made me feel SO bad about this whole thing.

I HAVE tried - every week I try - and I get myself to this place mentally where I think I'm all prepared and can handle it - then it all goes out the window when she opens her mouth.

Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with an abundance of - I admit that - but again, I've tried to be a friend - it worked briefly - I was doing ok - then I made the mistake of letting her dog/house sit - and that was just bad and now I just want to hurt her most of the time :distress: and I'm a believer in the whole "do unto others" so I hate that I get so bitchy around her....It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

Do you think maybe a little time away from her might help? Or maybe trying to just smile and respond politely when she says something daft, and reminding yourself not to let it get to you?

I know it's so much easier to say when you're not in the middle of the situation though.

[DrummerDeanna]

It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

Do you think maybe a little time away from her might help? Or maybe trying to just smile and respond politely when she says something daft, and reminding yourself not to let it get to you?

I know it's so much easier to say when you're not in the middle of the situation though.


I have seriously tried both of those things :o I think that after posting the initial post - and just getting this all out has made me see that I Just need to say goodbye to our weekly dinners and then just go out with th egirl I like once in a while.

The other girl has said she dreads getting stuck alone with the other one too...ugh - I don't know.

[wondergirl9847]

But some people do need a little extra patience and understanding.

LMAO!! They need to give you a sainthood, JS. I would ignore her until she went away. I actually got rid of an annoying friend by doing just that. I never took her calls, and get this (OMG, I'm so going to hell for this one), she came over one afternoon and sat on my porch for over an HOUR. She had rung the doorbell and I was home, but just didn't answer it...she sat out there, and finally took the hint. She probably KNEW I was home since I don't drive and didn't work at the time, but ah well. She stopped calling/coming over and I never heard from her again. :shrug:

God forgive me. Amen.

[amber]

It's very sweet that it concerns you so much, and that you want to do the right thing. Most people wouldn't care at all.

I agree, Deanna, it's nice you feel bad. Maybe you could slowly but politely drift away. Oh, wait, you tried that. She hunted you down like a rabbit. :laugh:
There seems to be no answer. I just hope one day you don't blow your top and rip her a new one. :distress: Good luck! It's funny that she's so persistent, and so blind to your efforts to not be her friend. Heeey, wait a minute....isn't that kind of rude of her??? :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

blergh. I use my extra effort just to be as nice as I am now. :laugh:
yeah, you're pretty sickening. ;) :xoxo: :laugh:I was pretty much tortured throughout my grade school and high school years, so I guess I'm just extra-sensitive to the feelings of "outsiders."

Though don't think for a minute that I don't ever get irritated or lose my patience when dealing with people. Patience issues are something I'm always working on.

[Johnny Stew]

It takes all my extra effort not to yell at her and call her names ...maybe I'm evil - I sure as hell feel that way - especially is she has a disorder....but like Amber said - and I wholeheartedly agree - not all of us are equipped to handle people like that :shrug:You're most definitely not evil. The fact that you've made an effort at all speaks volumes. :xoxo:

[amber]

I was pretty much tortured throughout my grade school and high school years, so I guess I'm just extra-sensitive to the feelings of "outsiders."

Though don't think for a minute that I don't ever get irritated or lose my patience when dealing with people. Patience issues are something I'm always working on.
awww....yeah, that's nice. Sorry you were tortured. I nipped that sh** in the bud whenever it started. :)

[DrummerDeanna]

Christy LMAO!!!! You let her sit on your porch for an hour - that? is hilarious and totally something I would do :laugh:

Anyway - yeah - she did stop calling me - but she randomly started again this last weekend - so now I just never answer my phone - and she doesn't leave messages - she just calls every five minutes and I get annoyed. ugh.

Yeah - I think I will just have to stop going to dinner - simple as that - yet I think I needed to get some of this out - since I haven't purged all of this to the girl I like for fear that she'll find me evil - we've talked about our annoyances of other girl but mostly on a superficial level...oh well.

I try to be very aware to the plight of outsiders - I got my fair share of torture - mostly in middle school...and it was hell- and I've befriended outsiders in the past who have turned out to be amazing friends - I just don't think I have it in my to take this girl in :distress:

[Johnny Stew]

Christy... I think we've ALL done something like that at least once in our lives.

That actually reminds of a funny story....
I had a friend whose daughter would eat dinner at home, then arrive at my house just in time to invite herself in and join US for dinner, too. Sometimes she'd even have the gall to say, "I really don't like that," in regards to what we were eating... but she'd dig in anyway!

We then found out that after she'd leave here, she'd visit ANOTHER friend's home, and eat there, too!!

Well, we got wise, and for one week we made our dinner early each night and ate downstairs in the den. She'd knock on the front door. Knock on the back door. Peer into the windows (according to our neighbor). Leave. Come back a a little later, and do it all over again. And then eventually go on to the other friend's house.

We felt horrible for doing it, but it seemed to be the only way to break her of her little Mooch-A-Meal habit.
And it worked!

[amber]

Christy... I think we've ALL done something like that at least once in our lives.

That actually reminds of a funny story....
I had a friend whose daughter would eat dinner at home, then arrive at my house just in time to invite herself in and join US for dinner, too. Sometimes she'd even have the gall to say, "I really don't like that," in regards to what we were eating... but she'd dig in anyway!

We then found out that after she'd leave here, she'd visit ANOTHER friend's home, and eat there, too!!

Well, we got wise, and for one week we made our dinner early each night and ate downstairs in the den. She'd knock on the front door. Knock on the back door. Peer into the windows (according to our neighbor). Leave. Come back a a little later, and do it all over again. And then eventually go on to the other friend's house.

We felt horrible for doing it, but it seemed to be the only way to break her of her little Mooch-A-Meal habit.
And it worked!

:lol: :laugh:
what I don't understand is how she could eat so much! And when I was little, dinner was always my least favorite meal, too. How weird. :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

awww....yeah, that's nice. Sorry you were tortured. I nipped that sh** in the bud whenever it started. :)I was too meek and submissive back then to put a stop to anything. Plus I was embarrassed by it all, and didn't want my parents to know what was going on.

I don't regret any of it though, because I grew from it... but I'd definitely handle things MUCH differently these days.

Anyway, this isn't about me. I was just trying to make the point that you never know what's going on in someone's life, or what they've been through in the past, and sometimes people just require a little bit of extra patience or compassion.

[wondergirl9847]

Mooch-a-Meal!! LMAO!! Hilarious. Wow, she must've had amazing metabolism or was big as a house. :shocked:

I never liked eating at my friends' houses when I was little, becuase I'm soooo picky. Their parents made them (and me!) drink milk and my family always had sweet tea.

[Johnny Stew]

She's not a skinny girl, but she's not huge either.
She could pack away the food though, that's for sure!

Come to think of it, maybe I should have let her continue eating here... I'm better off not having "seconds" anyway! :@)

[dissention]

*I think I just overdosed on sacharine reading this post. twitch.*

I know.

Thank the stars I'm not diabetic, Le Stew. :p :laugh:

[SapphireSister]

Maybe she does have a learning disability or some other type of challenge. That's very possible from what you described.

I realize being her friend can be exasperating, but if you and your other friend feel this way about her, then she's probably been dealing with these types of reactions from people her entire life.

The nicest thing you could do, might be to reach out to her more and make sure that she feels included. You never know how much it might mean to her to feel accepted.

Will you marry me?

[Johnny Stew]

Thank the stars I'm not diabetic, Le Stew. :p :laugh:I'm going to have to start handing out free Glucophage tablets whenever I post, aren't I? :o :laugh:

[amber]

Will you marry me?
:laugh: :laugh:

in that case....as long as we're proposing....

I know.

Thank the stars I'm not diabetic, Le Stew.

Will you marry me? :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

Will you marry me?Sure I will!
Plus, I'll get to be the first guy to ever have three wives AND a husband! :laugh:

[DrummerDeanna]

*sigh* and once again - always the bridesmaid.....







:laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

*sigh* and once again - always the bridesmaid.....

:laugh:Aw, come on, Deanna... for you, I'd be more than happy to make it FOUR wives and a husband! :xoxo:

We might even get our own reality series out of it!!!

[macfanken]

She ordered the Admiral's Platter at Red Lobster?! :eek: Kick her to the curb!! :nod:

[DrummerDeanna]

Aw, come on, Deanna... for you, I'd be more than happy to make it FOUR wives and a husband! :xoxo:

We might even get our own reality series out of it!!!


:blob1: OK!! Yea! Lucky number 4 :laugh:


She ordered the Admiral's Platter at Red Lobster?!:eek: Kick her to the curb!!:nod:

:laugh: :laugh: Okay - I'll take that advice ;)

[GateandGarden]

Oh gosh, Deanna, I don't know what to say. You would think I would because I have been there so many times, it seems. Yet, every time it's just as awkward and you feel just as guilty despite the fact that you know it should rightfully be your own choice who you hang out with. I went through something like this in high school, though it was more severe because I'd known the girl for years and years and had tried to put up with her all that time. The thing is, it seemed that she got more and more immature as we grew older, if that's possible. I just sat down and told her that I thought we were growing up and changing and drifting apart and that we were becoming very different people and so I didn't want to be friends any longer. I can't believe I did that. I was only able to do it because it was that aggravating to be around her. But she didn't take it well. But since you haven't known this girl as long, maybe she would take it better than my friend did? I don't know; only you know if it could be appropriate to have that kind of talk with her. I also couldn't help but think that you could seriously talk to the other friend and break it to her as gently as possible that you'd love to hang out with her but not the other chick. You can preface it by saying, "She is very sweet, has the best of intentions, etc," but say that you don't really want to hang around her and you'd prefer to go out with the girl alone and not with the Scooby-Doo esque chick. (Sorry--the "boo-roo" thing and Brian's comment on it were hysterical to me). Maybe you can bow out gently. :shrug: Or maybe I'm not being helpful. What I'm saying may not be feasible at all but I wanted to throw it out there.

And of course there's always the chance that time will pass and you'll first get used to her and then cease to find her annoying, but that may be very unlikely to ever happen.

Whatever you decide to do and/or whatever transpires, I wish you the best of luck with it and I hope it's as painless as possible.

[amber]

*sigh* and once again - always the bridesmaid.....







:laugh:

sorry, deanna, but clearly I like them a bit saltier than you, if I asked diss to marry me... :laugh: Which reminds me....
BACKSTORY
the other day I told my friend that I just wanted to be quiet for a little bit. Which is what I say to him almost every time he comes over. Because we're usually together for at least, like, 2-3 hours (usually waaaay longer) and we talk the whole time. He talks a lot, and argues and stuff. Anyway, that takes a lot of my energy, and after a bit, I just want to chill out, listen to music, straighten up my house, you know. For like, maybe just 20 minutes or something. But it's fricking like - he just can't not say anything! :mad: And then so he'll just start making these noises and stuff. :rolleyes: So, I'm like, "dude, it's okay, it's not personal. I just need to regroup my energy a little bit!". So then, each time he usually gets insulted. BUT - I ALWAYS START OUT SAYING IT REALLY NICELY, AND MORE SUBTELY, BUT HE NEVER DOES IT. SO THEN, I START GETTING A BIT MORE PISSY! And so, of course, even though I asked nicely, like, three times ("hey, mind if we just chill for a bit? I kind of want to just listen to music and rest, straighten up my house a bit" etc).
LEADING UP TO IT
So, the last time he was here, we just finished playing, like, power frisbee for an hour on the hill, watching the sun go down with a view of the whole bay. And I was playing barefoot on concrete, and really RUNNING my ass around.
So I'm hella tired, I have a huge blood blister, I just got home, etc. So I say the same thing....nicely...he starts in with the same ****....i'm getting hella irritated, why do we have to have this convo every time. So finally, all pissy, with slightly raised venomous voice, I go....DAMNIT, ****, WE HAVE THIS F**CKING CONVERSATION EVERY TIME! I JUST WANT TO REST! BUT NO, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GET YOUR PANTIES IN A WAD, AND YOU CAN NEVER JUST GIVE ME TEN MINUTES TO REST! WHY CAN'T YOU BE QUIET FOR 10 MINUTES!? WHY? JESUS CHRIST, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY FRICKING TIME!? :mad:

he left shortly after..... :lol:
I felt really bad, but it's his fault for not getting it when I say it the first fricking thousand times, assmonkey.

[GateandGarden]

Sure I will!
Plus, I'll get to be the first guy to ever have three wives AND a husband! :laugh:There are two Ledgie brides I'd love to have. :o;)

And that is all I will say.

[The Tower]

Thank the stars I'm not diabetic, Le Stew. :p :laugh:
OY!!!!! Both of my parents are diabetic and think all this swill has knocked my system into insulin shock...

The nicest thing you could do, might be to reach out to her more and make sure that she feels included. You never know how much it might mean to her to feel accepted.
Blecchhhhh.................. this is the total insincere thing to do. If you don't like her, don't fake it and be nice to her. There's nothing wrong with not clicking with someone, it happens all the time.

If you don't like her Deanna, be honest with her. If she someone butts in and tries to inviter herself to stuff she wasn't invited to, just tell the truth- "I'm sorry Jane Doe, but I'm not really clicking with you and this is a gathering for me and my friends. I'm not trying to offend you- I just don't think we'll be getting along and I'd like to enjoy myself."

[amber]

OY!!!!! Both of my parents are diabetic and think all this swill has knocked my system into insulin shock...


Blecchhhhh.................. this is the total insincere thing to do. If you don't like her, don't fake it and be nice to her. There's nothing wrong with not clicking with someone, it happens all the time.

If you don't like her Deanna, be honest with her. If she someone butts in and tries to inviter herself to stuff she wasn't invited to, just tell the truth- "I'm sorry Jane Doe, but I'm not really clicking with you and this is a gathering for me and my friends. I'm not trying to offend you- I just don't think we'll be getting along and I'd like to enjoy myself."
AAAAnnnnd now we can add Towie to my list of gay husbands, too.

[DrummerDeanna]

There are two Ledgie brides I'd love to have. :o;)

And that is all I will say.

TWO now :eek: Damn Hillary :laugh:


And Amber - yeah that's really annoying :laugh: Glad you finally told him off -what was his reaction to that??

[GateandGarden]

And then so he'll just start making these noises and stuff. :rolleyes:Okay, yeah, I had a friend like this once. That is so f*cking annoying. When you don't have anything to say, just don't say anything. Please don't fill the silence with random noises. No, I don't care how authentic your animal sounds are. :rolleyes: I've had to listen to people do some pretty dumb **** like that and I am too nice to say anything about it. :rolleyes:

[GateandGarden]

TWO now :eek: Damn Hillary :laugh: Ah, well, thankfully I'm joking. :laugh:

But of course one of them is the lovely Krista, as always. :xoxo:

[amber]

Okay, yeah, I had a friend like this once. That is so f*cking annoying. When you don't have anything to say, just don't say anything. Please don't fill the silence with random noises. No, I don't care how authentic your animal sounds are. :rolleyes: I've had to listen to people do some pretty dumb **** like that and I am too nice to say anything about it. :rolleyes:
he'll also start making a big deal about stretching. He's not just stretching, he's actively stretching. Like "hey, lookat me, I'm stretching" meanwhile, he's taking up my whole living room floor (yes, my apartment is that small) while I'm trying to peacefully drift around my house cleaning and stuff. :rolleyes:
YAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH! God, and he will seriously argue with me for two hours about, for instance, why I'm not having sex with him right then..... :lol: :lol:

[GateandGarden]

he'll also start making a big deal about stretching. He's not just stretching, he's actively stretching. Like "hey, lookat me, I'm stretching" meanwhile, he's taking up my whole living room floor (yes, my apartment is that small) while I'm trying to peacefully drift around my house cleaning and stuff. :rolleyes:
YAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH! God, and he will seriously argue with me for two hours about, for instance, why I'm not having sex with him right then..... :lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol:

See, I can't help but laugh at this, but I'm sure that when it's going on you want to scream rather than laugh.

[amber]

:lol::lol::lol:

See, I can't help but laugh at this, but I'm sure that when it's going on you want to scream rather than laugh.
yep. exactly. You know how lindsey is all wordy and explainy and stuff? I don't know if it's something in the water of Palo Alto (he's from there) or something about being an air sign, but I feel like I'm talking to Lindsey. :laugh: I laugh now, and tease him, and go "well, we could if you'd ever stop your yapping" :laugh:

[macfanken]

:laugh: :laugh: Okay - I'll take that advice ;)


Hehe! I'm teasing...

Sounds like a tough situation. I would probably feel sorry for her... she sounds lonely. I'm sure I would eventually become annoyed, like you are and cut off all contact with her. I would probably leave her out of a few get togethers at first and hope she gets the hint. Telling someone they're annoying and you don't ever want to see them again is hard.

[DrummerDeanna]

Yeah - I'd like to avoid outright saying, "You're annoying - I don't ever want to see you again.

I thought about saying, "it's not you, it's me. I hate you" ;)

Seriously though - I do feel sorry for her - which is what makes this harder.

[Johnny Stew]

Blecchhhhh.................. this is the total insincere thing to do. If you don't like her, don't fake it and be nice to her.I don't think it's insincere at all to reach out to someone who requires extra patience and consideration.

[amber]

I don't think it's insincere at all to reach out to someone who requires extra patience and consideration.
well, but, the fact that deanna hates her would make it insincere.... :confused:

[Johnny Stew]

well, but, the fact that deanna hates her would make it insincere.... :confused:Deanna never said that she hates her, just that the girl is annoying and drives her crazy.

I'm not telling anyone to reach out and show kindness towards a Klansman who murders kittens in his basement!

[amber]

Deanna never said that she hates her, just that the girl is annoying and drives her crazy.

I'm not telling anyone to reach out and show kindness towards a Klansman who murders kittens in his basement!
see post number 53. :laugh:

[The Tower]

Deanna never said that she hates her, just that the girl is annoying and drives her crazy.
I thought about saying, "it's not you, it's me. I hate you"
Hmmm..... yeah, I think it would be insincere to indicate in any way that she likes this chick.

[Johnny Stew]

see post number 53. :laugh:I thought she was just using the word for the sake of comedic effect. I didn't get the impression that she genuinely hates the girl. :shrug:

[The Tower]

see post number 53. :laugh:
Dayyy-ummm- y'all beat me to it.

[amber]

I thought she was just using the word for the sake of comedic effect. I didn't get the impression that she genuinely hates the girl. :shrug:
what about when she said she wants to stab her own eyes out whenever this girl is around? I guess that might not be hate, though.

[dissention]

what about when she said she wants to stab her own eyes out whenever this girl is around? I guess that might not be hate, though.

It would only be hate if she wanted to do it with a spork. :laugh:

[The Tower]

what about when she said she wants to stab her own eyes out whenever this girl is around? I guess that might not be hate, though.
Nah- it's not hate, it's just a little annoying thing that she can probably ignore.

I say throw all those silly negative thoughts out the window and jump right in to some good times. Slumber parties, movie dates, weekend tent-camping get-a-ways, chummy Sunday drives- get it all out there. If you're really nice to her then she'll totally get it that she drives you crazy and she's sure to change all those things about her that make you want to gouge your eyes out and after investing all that time you'll be the bestest of friends.

You'll just hafta ignore all those little irritating things for a few short six, seven, eight months kinda thing. No biggie.

[Johnny Stew]

Looks like someone got her monthly visit from Aunt Flo.

[sara1998]

Just butting in real quick like.....

There's this one dumb bitch I can't stand, who wanted (and still does) want to be my friend so bad. See, she was married to one of my late hubby's friend's. Well, late hubby's friend was a real asshole, and dumb bitch was always calling my house looking for him. She would try to have conversation with me, and try as I might, I just couldn't do it. And it was always about how she used to have friends before her car accident messed her head up, and they can't get the right diagnosis, blah, blah, blah. Anyhow....Then, she divorced asshole, and married my late hubby's boss. I love late hubby's boss to death, but I still can't handle dumb bitch. She's too nicey nice, as I obviously am not. I can't stand all the over-the-top niceness. Anyhow, she called here the other day out of the blue, and I just let the phone ring. She left a message, and apparently, they just had a baby, and I am being asked to the shower. How tacky is that? "Uh, I know we haven't talked in over a year, but come buy me some **** for my kid..." Sorry, I'm sure that story is kinda choppy, and hard to understand, but dumb bitch is just really annoying, and is one of the few people I can't stand to be around. So, Deanna, I really don't have any advice, because I've never dealt with my situation properly, either!!! :lol:

[LuckyCharms]

:) Life's to short to waste time being misserable, you sound pretty misserable about this. I'd be careful how you go about cutting ties though. People can seem immature for alot more reasons than retardation. She could have had a horrible life (I've known people like this, and it was indeed the case). Even simply being sheltered can cause it, or perhaps this girl you speak of maybe just feels intimidated, or it takes her quite a while to feel comfortable around people. Ofcourse it's entirley possible her life was perfect and this is who she is. Problem is who ever she is it doesn't mesh well with who you are, she don't realize it, but it's not meshing for her either, LOL. One thing I can think of is maybe finding different friends for her, perhaps there's someone you run into some times who'd be perfect for her. You could find some way to get them together alone and maybe they'll hit it off. There's all sorts of non-chelant ways to go about it. It might be a little work, and you may have to tell a few white lies. In the long run you'll come out smelling like a rose, and you can take comfort in that she's better off too.

Good luck! :)

[StevieNicksEO17]

Deanna, I totally know where you're coming from. I have a friend on my team that is so beyond stupid. At first she was really cool and I loved to hang out with her, but I actually got to know her, and talk to her online and she doesn't know anything. She just wants to make me want to gouge my eyes out, too.

I find myself making fun of her a lot behind her back, which yes, I know is a REALLY bad thing. I don't want to stop talking to her because she can be a good person. So, I really don't know what to tell you. Most of the time I just make fun of her to her face, and she thinks it's a joke. Wow, I'm a really bad person.

[DrummerDeanna]

Deanna never said that she hates her, just that the girl is annoying and drives her crazy.

I'm not telling anyone to reach out and show kindness towards a Klansman who murders kittens in his basement!


Oh - did I forget to mention that she's a clanswoman who murder kittens in her basement???? ;)


Anyway - thanks for the input guys - no - it wouldn't be impossible for me to reach out and be nice - I've done it - it didn't work. It took WAY too much of my time and energy - you give an inch she takes a mile type thing.

So I'm going to cut the ties.

Oh - and we have tried to find her other, more suitable, friends :laugh: didn't work out.

Urg. I'l figure it out.

[skcin]

I mean imagine someone who the entire night say's things like "oh you have carpet" or "your dog is furry" or "it's cold in the freezer" what the hell...


Just butting in real quick like.....

There's this one dumb bitch I can't stand...

OK, just have to say that these two posts? Had me cracking up big time. I'm dying over here! :laugh:

Anyway, Dee, this can't go on, youmust do something. I don't mean that you should say "listen, I think you're an asshole, leave me alone."

But try to distance yourself little by little. If she gets the hint, you're golden. If she doesn't, say "listen, I think you're an asshole, leave me alone." :D

[amber]

OK, just have to say that these two posts? Had me cracking up big time. I'm dying over here! :laugh:

Anyway, Dee, this can't go on, youmust do something. I don't mean that you should say "listen, I think you're an asshole, leave me alone."

But try to distance yourself little by little. If she gets the hint, you're golden. If she doesn't, say "listen, I think you're an asshole, leave me alone." :D
Wait, my big long story about Mr. Talkie didn't make you laugh? :p :laugh:

[Johnny Stew]

Anyway - thanks for the input guys - no - it wouldn't be impossible for me to reach out and be nice - I've done it - it didn't work. It took WAY too much of my time and energy - you give an inch she takes a mile type thing.

So I'm going to cut the ties.Since you've already tried the other approach, you're right to now find a way to cut ties. Despite how my comments were construed/twisted, I wasn't telling you to put up with her at the sake of your own peace and happiness. Just wanted to offer a reminder that some people need a little extra patience and understanding.

But you've given her that and it didn't work, so now's the time to move on. :nod: :)

[skcin]

Wait, my big long story about Mr. Talkie didn't make you laugh? :p :laugh:


Nope, but it did get a chuckle. :angel: PS - I would have strangled Mr. Talkie by now, you're a better person than I am.

[BTFLCHLD]

you are all so cruel :rolleyes:

[amber]

Nope, but it did get a chuckle. :angel: PS - I would have strangled Mr. Talkie by now, you're a better person than I am.
Awww....
Oh, well, whatever to paula.



*he has a car, so i haven't strangeled him. plus, he's actually funny and nice most times. it's just this one thing*

[skcin]

Awww....
Oh, well, whatever to paula.



*he has a car, so i haven't strangeled him. plus, he's actually funny and nice most times. it's just this one thing*


Yes, I can see where strangling him while he's driving may cause a problem. Is he ADHD, or just annoying?

[The Tower]

Despite how my comments were construed/twisted, I wasn't telling you to put up with her at the sake of your own peace and happiness.
:p :p :p :p :p

*he has a car, so i haven't strangeled him. plus, he's actually funny and nice most times. it's just this one thing*
Is this Mr. Long and Skinny or is this a different guy?

[amber]

:p :p :p :p :p


Is this Mr. Long and Skinny or is this a different guy?
yeah. he's nice. his family has a tahoe cabin and also a vineyard in healdsburg with a nice house and a pool. It's been fun hanging out with him over the years. He plays guitar and drums, too, and sings good harmony. He plays frisbee and catch, too, and likes to hike and go to the marina. He's pretty cool, I probably shouldn't have said that. He is long and skinny, though. :laugh:
He's an aquarius, though, so sometimes we just "miss" a bit. We have good intellectual repoire, but not good emotional. He gets mad at things i would never get mad at (like "you singed the corner of my cutting board!" or "you left a bottle of whiskey in the car, and my dad found it!") and I get mad at things he doesn't understand ("you were totally nicer to her!"). :lol:
He's a good friend, though. :nod:
*why did I just say all that? :rolleyes: *

[The Tower]

yeah. he's nice. his family has a tahoe cabin and also a vineyard in healdsburg with a nice house and a pool. It's been fun hanging out with him over the years. He plays guitar and drums, too, and sings good harmony. He plays frisbee and catch, too, and likes to hike and go to the marina. He's pretty cool, I probably shouldn't have said that. He is long and skinny, though. :laugh:
He's an aquarius, though, so sometimes we just "miss" a bit. We have good intellectual repoire, but not good emotional. He gets mad at things i would never get mad at (like "you singed the corner of my cutting board!" or "you left a bottle of whiskey in the car, and my dad found it!") and I get mad at things he doesn't understand ("you were totally nicer to her!"). :lol:
He's a good friend, though. :nod:
*why did I just say all that? :rolleyes: *
Bonus #1) Tahoe cabin (!!!!!)

Bonus #2) Athletic (washboard abs????)

Bonus #3) Vineyard in Healdsburg

Bonus #4) Musically inclined

Bonus #6) Aquarius (air signs are hot- lemme guess, blue eyes and dark hair?)

Downer #1) Detached Aquarian vibe hits quincunx with Cancerian mood mama


Oh well, hopefully the sex is good- although quincunx sex is usually the worst. If he's got a good body and the equipment is awesome, I say stick with it. If he's got great chest hair, I say stick with it even more...

[amber]

Bonus #1) Tahoe cabin (!!!!!)

Bonus #2) Athletic (washboard abs????)

Bonus #3) Vineyard in Healdsburg

Bonus #4) Musically inclined

Bonus #6) Aquarius (air signs are hot- lemme guess, blue eyes and dark hair?)

Downer #1) Detached Aquarian vibe hits quincunx with Cancerian mood mama


Oh well, hopefully the sex is good- although quincunx sex is usually the worst. If he's got a good body and the equipment is awesome, I say stick with it. If he's got great chest hair, I say stick with it even more...
no, he's blue dirty blond, but thinning. :distress: (I don't care about that).
I know, those things are great, but we'll always just be friends. It didn't work when we tried to go out. He has moon in pisces, rising gemini, BTW. The thing is, he's....his vibe is like, not really sexual. He talks to girls like they're just people. Which is great, but....also, he's not very affectionate. Or something...it's hard to describe, but he's a little stiff sometimes. Like he'll talk sort of formally to me. And no, there's no washboard abs. And that equipment, towie, is not "awesome" it's "adequate". The stuff is pretty good, when we get to it, after he's finished talking and not doing anything. :laugh:
He doesn't want me either, though, so it's okay. We're like, friends who hang out once a month, or a bit more often, or randomly go do stuff together.
Thanks for the breakdown, Towie. Also? I've only been to his (family's) cabin once, when we were dating. :mad: :laugh:

[The Tower]

He has moon in pisces, rising gemini, BTW.
Holy Flake-a-saurus, Batman!!!!!!

Also? I've only been to his (family's) cabin once, when we were dating. :mad: :laugh:
Well, that blows... Tahoe cabin in the snow, with the snow falling is mack-out central.

[amber]

Holy Flake-a-saurus, Batman!!!!!!


Well, that blows... Tahoe cabin in the snow, with the snow falling is mack-out central.
yeah, he barely has a job. In the summer. teaching kids to swim. of course he's in a band, but... :rolleyes:
We went in august, it was awesome, we went to the river.
I"ve tried before, I really can't date air signs. I sweah!
'Sides, I''m not really a gold digger. :)

[lagringader&r]

If you don't like her, don't fake it and be nice to her. There's nothing wrong with not clicking with someone, it happens all the time.

If you don't like her Deanna, be honest with her. If she someone butts in and tries to inviter herself to stuff she wasn't invited to, just tell the truth- "I'm sorry Jane Doe, but I'm not really clicking with you and this is a gathering for me and my friends. I'm not trying to offend you- I just don't think we'll be getting along and I'd like to enjoy myself."

I totally disagree. How hard is it to be nice to someone who might be somewhat mentally challenged for only a few hours at a time? If you don't click with somebody, it doesn't mean you have to not be nice. You can still be nice and even if you don't feel it, you're being *insincere* for a good reason. To spare somebody else's feelings. I can't relate coz I have a few not-so-bright friends (maybe I'm even one of them) and stupidity doesn't bother me. Someone being mean does. Bitches I can't hang with. Peeps who just aren't up with everybody else's IQs, I can hang with and don't have a problem with. If this chick is mentally challenged, she's probably or might be used to getting treated differently and this little speech on her might be more devastating than you think. They're her dinners and her friends too, after all. So I disagree, Tower. Being honest isn't always the best policy and could really hurt somebody who's not doing anything more wrong than just being annoying.

Deanna, I would walk away from the situation and those dinners. Because this chick is so persistent, it sounds to me like she really likes you. You don't feel the same and it's driving you crazy and you've admitted to being cruel to her and correcting her, so are these dinners worth it? For her sake and yours? Maybe you could hook up with the other chick (the one that doesn't piss you off) on another night. I'd drop out of the dinners though. Good luck and I hope it works out for you!

[amber]

I totally disagree. How hard is it to be nice to someone who might be somewhat mentally challenged for only a few hours at a time? If you don't click with somebody, it doesn't mean you have to not be nice. You can still be nice and even if you don't feel it, you're being *insincere* for a good reason. To spare somebody else's feelings. I can't relate coz I have a few not-so-bright friends (maybe I'm even one of them) and stupidity doesn't bother me. Someone being mean does. Bitches I can't hang with. Peeps who just aren't up with everybody else's IQs, I can hang with and don't have a problem with.
I totally agree with you, in theory. I think it's wonderful, and very rare and special, that you can hang out with your not so bright friends, and that "stupidity" doesn't bother you. Obviously, we all have our own scales of what kind of people we can and cannot hang out with. I would never be happier than if no one was ever bothered by hanging out with certain kinds of people, including that who we deem "not so bright" (which is at least *somewhat* subjective)
Although you are the special kind of person who does not mind hanging out with "mentally challenged" people for a few hours each week, this may not be everyone's skill. I think the best *most people* could do in this situation would to be, like you said, nice. However, if you feel you may gouge your own eyes out, or somehow blow up at the person if you spend any more time with them, at that point I think you should disengage from your obligation to be "nice" and remove yourself from the situation, because the aforementioned reactions are much worse than someone removing themselves.
That said, My admiration for people who can always be nice to everyone, knows no bounds. :)
And let us also fairly note, that, I have...perhaps...sometimes...maybe....the temper span of a badger that is fighting with a raccoon over a fresh found slab of meat....and...a pack of hyenas is sneaking up on them...and....they just heard the bark of a male lion...and...vultures are circling....okay, the Hyperbole Police are coming for me, but you see what I mean.

[The Tower]

I totally disagree. How hard is it to be nice to someone who might be somewhat mentally challenged for only a few hours at a time? If you don't click with somebody, it doesn't mean you have to not be nice. You can still be nice and even if you don't feel it, you're being *insincere* for a good reason. To spare somebody else's feelings. I can't relate coz I have a few not-so-bright friends (maybe I'm even one of them) and stupidity doesn't bother me. Someone being mean does. Bitches I can't hang with. Peeps who just aren't up with everybody else's IQs, I can hang with and don't have a problem with.
I think you're missing my point.

In social settings where lots of people gather, I would never suggest that someone just walk around stating the bare honest truth about everyone they meet. However, if one is building friendships and someone is part of the mix that is just not gelling, then I think it is only fair to say, "Look- this isn't working". There is no point in stringing someone along in the semblance of a friendship when it doesn't exist. It doesn't have anything to do with being nice, hurting someone's feelings, or whether or not someone is mentally challenged. I have known many "mentally challenged" people over my lifetime. Some of them I liked and some of them I didn't- just like any other person.

If this chick is mentally challenged, she's probably or might be used to getting treated differently and this little speech on her might be more devastating than you think.
Meh. Time to grow up. If one is "used to getting treated differently" and all of a sudden society throws them a curveball, ya gotta deal with it one way or another.

They're her dinners and her friends too, after all.
If one is being crowded out of social situations, perhaps they should initiate their own social gatherings where they are the inviter instead of the invitee.

Being honest isn't always the best policy and could really hurt somebody who's not doing anything more wrong than just being annoying.
I think being annoying can be a pretty "wrong" thing. And if one is planning on being friends with someone else, or even regular acquaintences, I think it's only fair to be honest with one another. If I were an annoyance to someone in that kind of situation, I would want to know- mainly because people aren't mind readers. One person's joking could be another one's jabbing. One person's constant fake laugh could be another person's "nails on the chalkboard". Part of being an adult is being able to handle different personalities without collapsing into a pile due to what someone else thinks about us. It's called self-esteem.

[BTFLCHLD]

"Look- this isn't working" if it's been a year of niceties to now say this isnt working isnt cool...the mistake was hanging when it didnt feel right in the first place. the other girl still wants to have the dinners with said "stupid" one...so perhaps it would be best to ease off of both of them and have dinners with others...especially since the one girl is talking to the "stupid" girl about the dinners/parties and the fact that she wasnt invited...just be sure one is honest about how they feel about the friendship in the beginning....
a person doesnt become "stupid" overnight...or did i? :lol:

[DrummerDeanna]

Thanks guys - yeah "non-stupid girl" wasn't award that stupid girl wasn't invited to my place - it was her mistake - and once she realized she'd made it she felt awful - she claims to not be able to stand this girl either - BUT she's WAY nicer than I and more able to put up with her- she just bitches and bitches about it afterward :rolleyes:

SO yeah - I'm going to walk away.

I can't take it.

I have once been honest with a friend and I "broke it off" with honest words -it was ugly - but we both were able to deal. I dont' think this chick can - she just DOESN'T get it. She doesn't "get" anything- so yeah.

I'm supposed to go with them tonight - not happening though - I seriously can't take her. I wish some of you could spend an afternoon with her...then you'd understand :laugh:

Another example: we were talking about an upcoming event and I said, "Yeah so and so said there would be a lot of familiar faces there."

the girl I don't like said, "I don't know what that means."

I stopped and was like.."ummm..that there will be lots of people we're familiar with there..." :shrug: weird.

Then there is the inability to take and follow directions (these things lead me to believe there must be a disability at play) - I gave her directions to my house once and I kid you not - I said, "Take a left on Genesee Park Boulevard" and she was like, "ok...so I take a right on Genesee STreet?" WTF!?!

So she got totally lost - and apparently went up and down the street I live on knocking on EVERY door until she found mine...why she could walk up to people's houses and KNOCK _ but not walk up and look for numbers is beyond me :shrug:

Ok - so anyway I'm done. I'm walking away.

[eclipse]

Thanks guys - yeah "non-stupid girl" wasn't award that stupid girl wasn't invited to my place - it was her mistake - and once she realized she'd made it she felt awful - she claims to not be able to stand this girl either - BUT she's WAY nicer than I and more able to put up with her- she just bitches and bitches about it afterward :rolleyes:

SO yeah - I'm going to walk away.

I can't take it.

I have once been honest with a friend and I "broke it off" with honest words -it was ugly - but we both were able to deal. I dont' think this chick can - she just DOESN'T get it. She doesn't "get" anything- so yeah.

I'm supposed to go with them tonight - not happening though - I seriously can't take her. I wish some of you could spend an afternoon with her...then you'd understand :laugh:

Another example: we were talking about an upcoming event and I said, "Yeah so and so said there would be a lot of familiar faces there."

the girl I don't like said, "I don't know what that means."

I stopped and was like.."ummm..that there will be lots of people we're familiar with there..." :shrug: weird.

Then there is the inability to take and follow directions (these things lead me to believe there must be a disability at play) - I gave her directions to my house once and I kid you not - I said, "Take a left on Genesee Park Boulevard" and she was like, "ok...so I take a right on Genesee STreet?" WTF!?!

So she got totally lost - and apparently went up and down the street I live on knocking on EVERY door until she found mine...why she could walk up to people's houses and KNOCK _ but not walk up and look for numbers is beyond me :shrug:

Ok - so anyway I'm done. I'm walking away.

Tell her to "hit the road"....You choose friends and she didn't make the cut. Even if you don't say it out loud-might make ya feel better...

Me, I think I would tell the 2nd girlfriend the truth- That you just can't handle the 3rd. Don't want to be mean or back stabbing nor do you want to be fake and pretend to like her.
You either like someone or you don't. I find it's pretty clear cut, don't feel badly about it. Perhaps the 2nd friend has just not had the balls to say C-ya to the 3rd and your encourgement, will get you and number 3 off to being better buddies. If not, you have lost nothing, excpet an irratating acquaintence (She really is not a friend).

That is what I would do...but maybe you don't want to take my advise...I don't have a lot of friends :laugh:
Best wishes, and don't just walk away...say something, you'll feel better :cool:
always the mediator,
~~eclipse~~

[skcin]

This girl is odd - doesn't really sound like she has a learning disability per se - it's like she's socially retarded or something. :shrug: Do what you gotta do to save your sanity.

[amber]

Another example: we were talking about an upcoming event and I said, "Yeah so and so said there would be a lot of familiar faces there."

the girl I don't like said, "I don't know what that means."

I stopped and was like.."ummm..that there will be lots of people we're familiar with there..." :shrug: weird.

Then there is the inability to take and follow directions (these things lead me to believe there must be a disability at play) - I gave her directions to my house once and I kid you not - I said, "Take a left on Genesee Park Boulevard" and she was like, "ok...so I take a right on Genesee STreet?" WTF!?!

So she got totally lost - and apparently went up and down the street I live on knocking on EVERY door until she found mine...why she could walk up to people's houses and KNOCK _ but not walk up and look for numbers is beyond me :shrug:

Ok - so anyway I'm done. I'm walking away.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :shocked:

oh, that's mean, but good lord.... :lol:

[BTFLCHLD]

youre a real heartbreaker deanna...
cant you see she is in love w/you?

[SuzeQuze]

Bless your heart, Deanna, good lord! You gotta cut her loose before you really hurt her and hate yourself for it. Sounds like you've already come to that conclusion though. I hate having to cut off friendships, I am such a loyal person but at times it has been to my own detriment. No more!

Also, I wouldn't say anything to her. Just avoid, avoid, avoid. I once broke off a dating relationship very honestly and it went very poorly. He tried to talk me out of everything I said and I wound up feeling like a turd. It was horrible, I should have done it over email or something since we didn't have a relationship or anything. I was just trying to do the right thing or something. I won't ever do that again.

[DrummerDeanna]

Bless your heart, Deanna, good lord! You gotta cut her loose before you really hurt her and hate yourself for it. Sounds like you've already come to that conclusion though. I hate having to cut off friendships, I am such a loyal person but at times it has been to my own detriment. No more!

Also, I wouldn't say anything to her. Just avoid, avoid, avoid. I once broke off a dating relationship very honestly and it went very poorly. He tried to talk me out of everything I said and I wound up feeling like a turd. It was horrible, I should have done it over email or something since we didn't have a relationship or anything. I was just trying to do the right thing or something. I won't ever do that again.


Wow! I've never had anyone try to talk me out of a breakup - well except the last friend I friend-dumped. BUT we're friend again :laugh: She did change a lot (as did I) since our friend break-up and we're really far away from each other now which is great - But I have/had way more invested in that person than I do in current dumb girl.

Yeah - I'm not going to say anything - but should I if she asks??

See - when I went to NM in June I left her house/pet sitting beacuse she was out of work and really really needed the money...

Now the dog was alive when I returned and my apartment hadn't been burned down -but her complete lack of common sense left several things needing to be straightened out...


THEN THEN I'm talking to a friend, Jason and I said something about this girl - and he was like, "Oh so you heard about Saturday then." And I said, "no...what?" And he was like.."Um...oh. Uh - nevermind. Let *name protected* tell you." But I pried it out of him..


SHe TOTALLY broke my computer - didn't tell me - and called him to come fix it :mad: urg.

Anwyay - last weekend she brought that up again and asked if I was still mad at her (I've been acting quite aloof as mentioned) and i was like.."oh I didn't even remember that..." I wanted to say, "No - I'm not mad I just can't stand you." But didn't :laugh:

Ok....see? This bitching helps :laugh: Anyway - I just called friend I like and told her I'm not going to dinner this week :D She's coming over on Friday - I'll tell her why then.

[BTFLCHLD]

I wanted to say, "No - I'm not mad I just can't stand you." But didn't :laugh: Ok....see? This bitching helps :laugh: :lol: good!
maybe a lesson in all of this is say what you really want to say when you want to say it...
dont hold back deanna else youve got suckups that fall for your sweetways (however unintentional)

[DrummerDeanna]

youre a real heartbreaker deanna...
cant you see she is in love w/you?


:laugh: :laugh: umm...ha - you're joking I do hope :p

Actually she's quite religious...doesn't agree with "the gays" :laugh:

[skcin]

If girl asks, I'd be like "you know, no offense or anything, but we just don't seem to click." Hopefully that'll do it.

But she'll probably say "I don't get it." In which case you're screwed. :wavey:

[amber]

:laugh: :laugh: umm...ha - you're joking I do hope :p

Actually she's quite religious...doesn't agree with "the gays" :laugh:
Tell her you're bi, maybe she will break up with you.
what a moron, seriously.

[DrummerDeanna]

If girl asks, I'd be like "you know, no offense or anything, but we just don't seem to click." Hopefully that'll do it.

But she'll probably say "I don't get it." In which case you're screwed. :wavey:

Me: Um we're just not clicking, you know?
Girl: *blank stare* I don't know what that means...
Me: It means I want you to die.

:laugh: I'm TOTALLY kidding...I don't want her to die...but see??? The more I hang around with her/don't cut ties - the worse I seem to get in terms of meanness...I hate it...I'm really not that mean... :angel:

[amber]

If girl asks, I'd be like "you know, no offense or anything, but we just don't seem to click." Hopefully that'll do it.

But she'll probably say "I don't get it." In which case you're screwed. :wavey:

:laugh:
"I don't know what that means"
:lol:

great, now I hate her.

[DrummerDeanna]

Tell her you're bi, maybe she will break up with you.
what a moron, seriously.


actually I haven't come out and said I'm bi - but I always do this passive agressive talk about issues I KNOW she's totally uncomfortable with...

And the 3rd girl is totally into the conversations too :laugh: So we've had very colorful sex talks with religo just sitting there uncomfortable...

Then I'll tell crazy stories about my gay friends - and my slut friend Matthew who is I'm sure trying to sleep with every man in the Metro DC area....and he was a stripper AND he was trying to break into the adult film business :laugh:

The best convos are when my and other girl talk about how important a woman's right to chose is and about the sad state of the world/government - she usually sits there quietly.

[BTFLCHLD]

Tell her you're bi, maybe she will break up with you. what a moron, seriously. omg dont try that...maybe she wants that...totally could backfire! :lol:
(unless thats what you really want deanna? come on tell us the truth damnit...we wont get hurt) :nod:

[amber]

Girl: *blank stare* I don't know what that means...
Me: It means I want you to die.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[DrummerDeanna]

(unless thats what you really want deanna? come on tell us the truth damnit...we wont get hurt) :nod:
*shudder* the very thought could render me asexual for the rest of my life.

[skcin]

Me: Um we're just not clicking, you know?
Girl: *blank stare* I don't know what that means...
Me: It means I want you to die.




I think I just peed my pants laughing. :nod:

[BTFLCHLD]

that poor lil lost puppy...i can invision her looking for your house...knocking each door to find her dear deanna... :lol:
hey i work at a college...and i just saw a girl wearing her jeans inside out...yes inside out...is that the new style? maybe you could start doing little bizarre things like that? ya know, more so than usual...or would she like it?

[BTFLCHLD]

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
8. See. You're smiling already.

[SuzeQuze]

Me: Um we're just not clicking, you know?
Girl: *blank stare* I don't know what that means...
Me: It means I want you to die.

:laugh: I'm TOTALLY kidding...I don't want her to die...but see??? The more I hang around with her/don't cut ties - the worse I seem to get in terms of meanness...I hate it...I'm really not that mean... :angel:

Your response could be, "You don't have to get it, but I'm out, peace sista." :lol: If she does push harder say something like, "When I am around you I get irritable and angry and I don't like myself when I get like that." That makes it about you. If she still pushes just walk away. Seriously, she's gotta get it at some point. :rolleyes:

[SuzeQuze]

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
8. See. You're smiling already.

:lol: That was great, I needed a laugh this afternoon. I've been working on this awful chapter all day, so messy.

[DrummerDeanna]

Seriously, she's gotta get it at some point. :rolleyes:


Well one would think! lol - I don't see it happening though - I see her hounding poor 3rd girl - trying to figure out why I don't talk to her anymore - of if I'm mad at her...ugh - that's what she did after the house sitting incident.

Blah - anyway - yeah I'm going to just silently slip away - I mean I'm hoping because of my behavior as of late that she'll let me go - if she insists on asking me me why - then I'll be nice but honest :o