Are you like this in the shower..haha

[tuigirl]

Think you guys might get a kick out of this :laugh:

How to shower like a woman:-
>
>Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to
>whites and coloured.
>
>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
>
>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
>sit-ups.
>
>Get in shower.
>
>Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
>stone.
>
>Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
>
>Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
>
>Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural
>avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
>
>Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
>
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>
>Shave armpits and legs.
>
>Turn off shower.
>
>Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex.
>
>Get out off shower.
>
>Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>
>Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>
>Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.
>
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>
>If you see husband along the way, cover any expsed areas.
>
>How to Shower Like A Man:
>
>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
>
>Leave in a pile.
>
>Walk naked to the bathroom.
>
>If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound
>
>Look at manly physique in the mirror.
>
>Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass.
>
>Get in the shower.
>
>Wash your face.
>
>Wash your armpits.
>
>Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
>
>Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound
> in the shower.
>
>Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
>
>Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
>
>Shampoo hair.
>
>Make shampoo mohawk.
>
>Pee.
>
>Rinse off and get out of shower.
>
>Partially dry-off.
>
>Fail to notice water on floor.
>
>Admire knob size in mirror again.
>
>Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
>
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
>
>If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise
>again.
>
>Throw wet towel on bed

Ok, fess up esp you guys, how true is all that!!!

[wondergirl9847]

BWAH!! That was hilarious! Thanks, Michele!

[ontheEdgeof17]

Is it sad to say I shower more like a woman? :lol:



I kid. I kid.

[tuigirl]

BWAH!! That was hilarious! Thanks, Michele!

hehheee..glad you liked it Christy :D

[amber]

that was pretty funny, sadly, i usually have more manly showering traits. Not the gross parts about the knob, or blowing your nose in your hand, or leaving hairs on the soap (uh!!! :eek: ) But there's definitely a clothes in a pile, walk around naked, wash hair once, wash all the parts that really need it vibe. But i don't like to get soap all over my skin cause it's bad for it, that's why. It's not cause i'm gross... :laugh: Also, i usually have to leave in 15 minutes by the time i hit the shower :)

[GypsySorcerer]

that was pretty funny, sadly, i usually have more manly showering traits. Not the gross parts about the knob, or blowing your nose in your hand, or leaving hairs on the soap (uh!!! :eek: ) But there's definitely a clothes in a pile, walk around naked, wash hair once, wash all the parts that really need it vibe. But i don't like to get soap all over my skin cause it's bad for it, that's why. It's not cause i'm gross... :laugh: Also, i usually have to leave in 15 minutes by the time i hit the shower :)

Yeah, me too. I throw the wet towel on the bed, piles of clothes everywhere.... I leave the floor wet. Drives the BF crazy when he stays over. :nod: :)

[bikerchic]

Is it said to say that I shower more like a man? :lol:

[amber]

Yeah, me too. I throw the wet towel on the bed, piles of clothes everywhere.... I leave the floor wet. Drives the BF crazy when he stays over. :nod: :)
:thumbsup: :laugh:

[madformac]

that was pretty funny, sadly, i usually have more manly showering traits. Not the gross parts about the knob, or blowing your nose in your hand, or leaving hairs on the soap (uh!!! :eek: ) But there's definitely a clothes in a pile, walk around naked, wash hair once, wash all the parts that really need it vibe. But i don't like to get soap all over my skin cause it's bad for it, that's why. It's not cause i'm gross... :laugh: Also, i usually have to leave in 15 minutes by the time i hit the shower :)


Gotta say I'm the same.. Wet towels (although I'm getting much better now I'm in my 30's. The 20's were all about wet towel piles).. I do walk around naked, face and armpits washing is regulation :laugh:

I do tend to look after myself more than I used to, so I use skin moisturisers and have the mandatory shelf full of aftershaves although I don't overdo it (nothing worse than outperfuming a lady IMO :laugh: )

I don't however feel the need to look at my knob in the mirror (I think it's only those with psychological problems about it that do that right? I don't waste my time on looking at mine. I know it's there 'cos I check it every now and again, as instructed in the guidelines and rules of the male.. :D :laugh: )

I live on my own so sadly I have nobody to wave it at (don't want to scare the neighbours and end up in a cell by getting too close to the windows either) :lol: :laugh: , however if I didn't live alone I wouldn't want to wave it anyway..

:wavey:

[wondergirl9847]

Your entire post had me LMAO! :lol:

How long do people shower on average, I wonder? I take about 10 minutes on average.

[ontheEdgeof17]

How long do people shower on average, I wonder? I take about 10 minutes on average.


I love to shower. I take about a 15-20 minute one. I end up singing and dancing around and forgetting to wash. :o By time I do remember, it's 10 minutes into the shower.

[madformac]

Your entire post had me LMAO! :lol:

How long do people shower on average, I wonder? I take about 10 minutes on average.


Thanks Christy, I do like to try and inject a little humour at times, although those really are my showering habits...... Men and their "knobs" hahaaa.. That could be a thread in itself... Boy if you could hear from some of the guys I know, man they are insecure..

Man goes to his doctor.... He says "Doctor, I have a problem, I really wish I had a 14" penis".. "Well" says the doctor "It's not uncommon for men to wish for this, have you had criticism from a woman and feel you need help?".. "No" says the man "I want a 14" one because the one I've got is just too damn big!" :shocked: :lol: :lol:

I spend about 10-15 minutes in the shower, depends on if I widen the perimeter of my wash regions or I stick to regulation zones.. :laugh: :laugh:

[wondergirl9847]

depends on if I widen the perimeter of my wash regions or I stick to regulation zones.. :laugh: :laugh:

Dude, you watch too much football or something. LMAO!!

Madden: Should Mac widen the perimeter or stick with the regulation zone?
Al Michaels: John, I think he should widen the perimeter because if he doesn't, there will be a penalty on the washing.
Madden: Yeah, Al, that would be terrible for the Mac offense.

[madformac]

Dude, you watch too much football or something. LMAO!!

Madden: Should Mac widen the perimeter or stick with the regulation zone?
Al Michaels: John, I think he should widen the perimeter because if he doesn't, there will be a penalty on the washing.
Madden: Yeah, Al, that would be terrible for the Mac offense.


Penalty on #27 madformac, intentional washing of a none regulation zone... 5 minute penalty, 2nd wash and 10... :blob2: :blob1: :blob2:

[wondergirl9847]

We need help.

Sigh...the Cowboys do too. :distress:



:]

[madformac]

We need help.

Sigh...the Cowboys do too. :distress:



Don't start me there, you don't support the Dolphins!! :shocked: :distress: :laugh:

Going back onto topic... Who uses a loofah? And more precisely what for??

I've never used one.. :distress: :laugh:

[wondergirl9847]

http://www.calypsocosmetics.citymax.com/i/Bath_Accessories/Loofah.jpg

Here is a small loofah sponge. It's used to slough off rough and dead skin and make your skin soft and smooth. You can also use a pumice stone on your rough skin to make it smooth.

[madformac]

http://www.calypsocosmetics.citymax.com/i/Bath_Accessories/Loofah.jpg

Here is a small loofah sponge. It's used to slough off rough and dead skin and make your skin soft and smooth. You can also use a pumice stone on your rough skin to make it smooth.

Nah, not for me... There are limits a man has to respect and not cross and to be seen rubbing myself with a dead sponge is beyond those boundaries.. I'll stick to hands + soap + shower gel... :thumbsup: :wavey:

Thanks anyway.. :laugh:

[amber]

Nah, not for me... There are limits a man has to respect and not cross and to be seen rubbing myself with a dead sponge is beyond those boundaries.. I'll stick to hands + soap + shower gel... :thumbsup: :wavey:

Thanks anyway.. :laugh:
But, dude, how are you exfoliating? exfoliating is very important! :p

[madformac]

But, dude, how are you exfoliating? exfoliating is very important! :p


I have calloused fingertips from playing guitar so they act like a good exfoliating device actually :laugh:


Other than that I don't exfoliate really. Maybe I should work on it a little.. :p

[wondergirl9847]

"Exfoliating is very important!" - Amber

That is hilarious!!

I used to use one, but not anymore. I use shower gel and a puff sometimes though. Bath and Body Works has terrific smelling shower gel. :thumbsup:

[amber]

"Exfoliating is very important!" - Amber

That is hilarious!!

I used to use one, but not anymore. I use shower gel and a puff sometimes though. Bath and Body Works has terrific smelling shower gel. :thumbsup:
Me, too. I got a synthetic puff, i think loofahs hold more bacteria. I usually get the poof really hot to kill anything, then just use it, no soap. Any wrong move on my part could cause an immediate breakout!!! :laugh: It's like i'm trying to clean a f****** Ming vase or some sh**! :laugh: And my soap? strictly natural, from whole foods... :rolleyes: *stupid skin*

[madformac]

I usually get the poof really hot to kill anything, then just use it, no soap. Any wrong move on my part could cause an immediate breakout!!! :laugh: It's like i'm trying to clean a f****** Ming vase or some sh**! :laugh:

:shocked: Oooooookay... :laugh: :laugh:

[amber]

:shocked: Oooooookay... :laugh: :laugh:
sorry, did that dismay you? It's hard for the "good skin-ers" to understand those of us less fortunate... :distress: :laugh: :p

[DrummerDeanna]

Wow - I guess I truly showers like a woman :p - I do take long showers - and exfoliate often - I definitely have a "ritual" that takes some time....

[madformac]

Amber, can you make your sig pic a little bit bigger? I can't see it! :laugh: :laugh:

Me thinks you decided to outsize Pattie's Lindsey compilation pic.. :nod: :nod: :laugh:

[amber]

Amber, can you make your sig pic a little bit bigger? I can't see it! :laugh: :laugh:

Me thinks you decided to outsize Pattie's Lindsey compilation pic.. :nod: :nod: :laugh:
I was trying to figure out how, and i couldn't. It's from an email attachment. Do you know how? :D

[madformac]

I was trying to figure out how, and i couldn't. It's from an email attachment. Do you know how? :D

I can make it smaller for you, just email it over and i'll shrink it down on Paintshop Pro. If you want it bigger we are talking one reply per thread page from now on!!! As for putting a pic in the sig... If I knew how to do that I'd have one myself.. :laugh: :laugh:

[amber]

I can make it smaller for you, just email it over and i'll shrink it down on Paintshop Pro. If you want it bigger we are talking one reply per thread page from now on!!! As for putting a pic in the sig... If I knew how to do that I'd have one myself.. :laugh: :laugh:
What do i email you? The properties, or the whole email, or what? :wavey:

[madformac]

What do i email you? The properties, or the whole email, or what? :wavey:

I'll PM you... Saves boring the **** out people on this thread with computer talk!!! :laugh: :wavey:

[SuzeQuze]

On weekends I shower like a woman, during the week more like a man. It's all about how much energy and time I have, hehe. However, I have long hair so I have to condition it often, which isn't very manly. :laugh:

[DownOnRodeo]

Funny post, Mich! The man one is disturbingly accurate... although of course in reality we're all a combination of both to some extent. For example, I always hang my towel up and leave the bathroom in a normal state. Not the same with my sister!

Also, it doesn't mention singing in the shower! C'mon.... you know you all do it ;)

[tuigirl]

Joe!! What are you doing in Japan? What have I missed? Are you on hols?

[DownOnRodeo]

Hey Mich :wavey: I'm working here for a few years, basically as an English teacher.
I am still working on a sort of website with photos etc; but I have had to give up the LiveJournal and any idea of a similar journal. When there is a website of some description I'll make sure that my sig pic links to it!

[DrummerDeanna]

Showering takes 10-15 minutes. I don't understand women and what they're all doing in the shower. I'm one of them. Have I missed a whole section of my body that takes an extra hour to clean? Do women actually do all those things, all those cleansing things with different substances that are all actually the same chemicals? I thought only the women on the adds did that. Meh, whatever. Just don't use up my hot water.


Yes - there are a lot of different things to use.

I use a different soap to exfoliate than regular soap - because if I didn't exfoliate my skin would look dead and gross and would constantly be flaky or yeah - just gross - gotta get rid of the dead skin...

Then there's the hair - I have to wash it - and it's generally dry - so I must condition it and let the conditioner sit in my hair for AT LEAST two minutes...so in that time I usually shave or exfoliate my arms or face...depends on the day....

Then after all that I give myself a once over with a non-exfoliating cloth and some mild soap to make sure all is clean....:D

[amber]

Wow, give me a bar of soap and a bit of hot water and I'm fine. I've never even 'cleansed' my face, other than with soap.


You shave your arms.....and face?
:laugh: :laugh:
I gotta say, DrummerD, that sounded like overkill. Like your skin will be stripped of all protective natural oils.. :D do you use the sandblaster once you get out of the shower? :laugh: :lol: Just kidding, I'm sure your routine is fine, and you sound very, very clean... :p

[dissention]

Christ, I'm in and out of the bathroom in ten minutes. :laugh: I rip my clothes off, hop in the shower, do my business, dry off, and get dressed. Nothing fancy.

[DrummerDeanna]

Christ, I'm in and out of the bathroom in ten minutes. :laugh: I rip my clothes off, hop in the shower, do my business, dry off, and get dressed. Nothing fancy.

That surprises me actually - I thought if anyone would have an in-depth shower regimine it'd be you...:p


Oh - and yeah I don't shave my arms...lol...or face - just exfoliate....

I have to with my arms every other day otherwise I get arm acne or something gross like that....and I don't want that...

It's not that invasive really....I don't use harsh soaps or cleaners - and don't even ask me about my AFTER shower rituals lol....

[dissention]

That surprises me actually - I thought if anyone would have an in-depth shower regimine it'd be you...:p

Nope...it's after the shower. ;) :laugh:

[amber]

That surprises me actually - I thought if anyone would have an in-depth shower regimine it'd be you...:p


Oh - and yeah I don't shave my arms...lol...or face - just exfoliate....

I have to with my arms every other day otherwise I get arm acne or something gross like that....and I don't want that...

It's not that invasive really....I don't use harsh soaps or cleaners - and don't even ask me about my AFTER shower rituals lol....
Just curious - have you ever tried leaving your skin alone with the soaps and exfoliation for a few days to see if it would work itself out? Everyone has different skin, but i'm curious cause i used to do a bunch of stuff like that, but found if I let the oils balance themselves for the most part, i had the least problems...I did have to go through a few days/week of "yuckiness" before it worked itself out though. Just curious :wavey:

[DrummerDeanna]

Just curious - have you ever tried leaving your skin alone with the soaps and exfoliation for a few days to see if it would work itself out? Everyone has different skin, but i'm curious cause i used to do a bunch of stuff like that, but found if I let the oils balance themselves for the most part, i had the least problems...I did have to go through a few days/week of "yuckiness" before it worked itself out though. Just curious :wavey:


well - I actually don't do all that much to my face anymore - I only exfoliate it maybe once or twice a week - and I moisturize like crazy - that apparently was the key - a good moisturizer - because now I've bee fine...

I have tried leaving things alone as that used to by my way of hygiene - I just didn't really care and didn' want to spend all sorts of money on stuff - so I was just a plain ole girl without all sorts of rituals and such - and that totally didn't work - so now I've got what I got - and it's working very well - I just needed some time for my skin to acclimate itself to this area....

My shower list of things to do may seem like a lot or very involved...but really it's not that bad :)

[amber]

well - I actually don't do all that much to my face anymore - I only exfoliate it maybe once or twice a week - and I moisturize like crazy - that apparently was the key - a good moisturizer - because now I've bee fine...

I have tried leaving things alone as that used to by my way of hygiene - I just didn't really care and didn' want to spend all sorts of money on stuff - so I was just a plain ole girl without all sorts of rituals and such - and that totally didn't work - so now I've got what I got - and it's working very well - I just needed some time for my skin to acclimate itself to this area....

My shower list of things to do may seem like a lot or very involved...but really it's not that bad :)
Oh, it doesn't seem that involved. I'm just suprised that people can have so much soap and stuff on their skin, and it still works out. I'm glad you found a way! :laugh: :wavey:

[tuigirl]

Hey Mich :wavey: I'm working here for a few years, basically as an English teacher.
I am still working on a sort of website with photos etc; but I have had to give up the LiveJournal and any idea of a similar journal. When there is a website of some description I'll make sure that my sig pic links to it!

Hey Joe :wavey: ..thats fab knowing your'e working there, my eldest wants to do the same in a gap year (what is it about Japan, for goodness sakes?), so keep us posted as to how your'e doing. All the best. :xoxo:

[DrummerDeanna]

Oh, it doesn't seem that involved. I'm just suprised that people can have so much soap and stuff on their skin, and it still works out. I'm glad you found a way! :laugh: :wavey:

well I rinse it off :shrug: ;)

[amber]

well I rinse it off :shrug: ;)
I know. But the washing action of soap dries my skin, which causes it to produce more oil, cause it thinks it's dry. :shrug: I know you rinse it off! :laugh:

[DrummerDeanna]

I know. But the washing action of soap dries my skin, which causes it to produce more oil, cause it thinks it's dry. :shrug: I know you rinse it off! :laugh:

I know you know :D

The only skin I have oil problems with is my face - but after I moved to Rochester it turned totally dry....SO annoying - all the moves are really taking their toll....but now it seems to be under control - other than that - my skin does pretty well - if I use the right soaps :nod: