Gay Ledgies of the World Unite!

[Johnny Stew]

That song is very beautiful...I'll make sure to listen to it sometime soon. I pray that its message will come true for you sometime soon, sometime when you won't be hurt and that someone will be "the one."

That was very sweet of you to say. :xoxo: Thank you.

As for "No Matter What"... it was written by Jim Steinman and Andrew Lloyd Webber (as I noted above), for their broadway collaboration, 'Whistle Down The Wind.'
It's been recorded a few times, and the two most famous versions are by Meat Loaf and Boyzone.

Steinman is the mastermind behind Meat Loaf's biggest hits, so M.L.'s version is considered definitive by the die-hard fans, but the Irish boy-group Boyzone's version was the big worldwide hit.
I actually quite like both takes on it. Meat Loaf's is typically dramatic and moody, while Boyzone's version has an interesting, albeit unintentional twist, because the verses are alternately sung by the two main singers in the band, who are both male, of course. So that, coupled with the vibe of the lyrics, practically turns it into a gay love-song.
(As it happens, about two years after they recorded it, one of the two main singers came out.)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your useless info for the day. ;)

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

I had no idea Jim Steinman wrote that song! Or that Meatloaf did a version! I knew it was a cover when Boyzone released it but had no idea who sang the original

[markolas]

Number two - I don't follow how having sex means making a fool of one's self.
:shrug:

It doesn't, necessarily. But, for me, if I have sex with someone, I'll inevitably start to form some kind of romantic attachment to them, which makes me look pretty stupid, when nine times out of ten, the other person only wants sex.

[markolas]

What do you think makes people not have a high sex drive? Do you know? you're the same sign as me, so i can't call that :laugh: But seriously, do you exercise and are in good shape and eat well and stuff? I mean, my SD is easily sublimated, but it's there anyway... :confused:

I don't know. I always assumed it was just the way I was. I've known people with ridiculously high sex drives, and I've always been thankful that I wasn't like that. :laugh:

I'm in horrible shape, though. I never exercise, and in the last year and a half, I've been eating fast food two or three times a day. So, maybe that has something to do with it. :shrug:

[DrummerDeanna]

I saw that episode- I was rolling on the floor when Charlotte was like "I don't care if you are gay or straight, just pick a side and stay there!"


Another idiotic quote I HATE!!!

[GateandGarden]

Having been raised Catholic, I can understand where you're coming from when you question how one can be homosexual and "moralled" at the same time.

For many, it seems like a contradiction in terms.

In fact, it was something I struggled with for a very long time. How could I ever aspire to be all the things I was raised to be, and, yet, also be this "aberration."

Trust me, that kind of thinking seriously messed with my head for a very long time. Between that confliction, and the daily verbal and physical harassment I faced at school, I very nearly became a statistic.
I couldn't reconcile who I was with who I was told I should be. In my heart, I didn't think I was inherently bad simply because I wasn't 100% straight (at that point in time, I was still desperately clinging to the notion that I was, at MOST, bisexual), but the very fact that I had any romantic or sexual inclinations towards men, seemed to doom me to hell.

Because of my experiences, I can understand a lot of things... I can understand those who marry because they think they'll be able to keep their homosexuality "in check."
I can understand those who are afraid that it will never get better for them, and that their family and friends will never understand, so their only solution is suicide.
I can understand those who feel that they're "going to hell anyway," so their self-esteem suffers because of it, and they find themselves in emotionally-empty and unfulfilling situations and relationships, and/or find themselves dependent on drugs or alcohol.

When you're told, or lead to believe, that what you are is inherently immoral, it seems that there's nowhere left to go but downward.

I am, I believe, as God created me.
I didn't just wake up when I was 16 and say, "hey, I think I'll be gay"... I always was.

I remember, as a child, being captivated by masculinity. The way men and boys my age walked, talked, laughed, smelled, and on and on. I liked the way I felt when I was around them... this sense of completion. Like it was where I belonged.

I didn't understand sexuality at that age... I was very naive. So it wasn't about sex at all. It was about what felt "right" to me. A child.

But, along the way I realized that these feelings weren't considered normal. That what I was, and what I felt drawn to, was bad and a deviance.
I had it drummed into my head from all angles... family, peers, the media. Homosexuality was only regarded as one of two things: Something to hate or something to laugh at.

And, sadly, I bought into all that. Some guys lash out, but I turned inward. I hated myself, more than I could ever hate anything else.
It sounds corny, I admit, but sometimes it really was only Stevie's music that got me through from one day to another. I could find comfort in her trials and tribulations. They weren't exactly the same as mine, but I related to the journey.

Even still, it was nearly impossible, on a day-to-day basis, to find many things to get out of bed for. To want to live for.
So, yeah, I'll admit here and now that I started to plan not having to go on. What did Trent Reznor say? "A lifetime of f**king things up, fixed in one determined flash"?

But somewhere along the way... thank God, Allah, Buddha, the fates, the stars, Stevie's lyrics, and anything else there is to thank... I began to stop thinking of morality in other people's terms. I stopped thinking of morality as being this black & white, cut & dry thing.
And I began to stop thinking of myself as an aberration. I was raised to believe that God created us all in His image, and that each of us is here for a reason. So I started to think maybe I was here for a reason, too.
Not some outlandish, "I'm going to save the world from destruction someday" kind of thing... just that maybe I'd have the chance to touch some life, in some small way, and make even the tiniest of differences.

I realized I could be "moral": honest, helpful, compassionate, empathic, generous, loving... and still be gay. They weren't opposing forces after all.

If anything, my experiences coming to terms with being gay taught me all the more, how important it was to try and be as good of a person as I can.
I'm human, and I make mistakes. I'll never be perfect, and I'm not even trying to be... but I can aspire to be one of "the good guys."

Yeah, I hope that maybe someday something I say might help someone else realize that "gay & moralled" can indeed go hand in hand. It's a nice thought, no? :)

So, Hawkeye, if you're still with me... I do think that morality and homosexuality can go together. We're the ones who try to keep them apart. :nod:Wow, I missed some wonderful stuff when I went to bed last night. That is beautiful. I'm so glad you're spreading that message. That was wonderful to read and I see a lot of myself in your story.

Hillary

[Janet]

Wow, I missed some wonderful stuff when I went to bed last night. That is beautiful. I'm so glad you're spreading that message. That was wonderful to read and I see a lot of myself in your story.

Hillary

I agree with Hillary, that was beautiful. But JS is a beautiful man, isn't he? :nod:

[amber]

I don't know. I always assumed it was just the way I was. I've known people with ridiculously high sex drives, and I've always been thankful that I wasn't like that. :laugh:

I'm in horrible shape, though. I never exercise, and in the last year and a half, I've been eating fast food two or three times a day. So, maybe that has something to do with it. :shrug:
No doubt, really. Especially if you never have really exercised. Fast food 2-3 times a day for the whole year? did you see Supersize me? Oh, honey, can I be your personal trainer? :laugh: Never exercise. I'm shocked. :eek: Well, to each his own....But really, never exercise? that's so bad for you. ok, i'm over it...
Amber

[DrummerDeanna]

Speaking of people with ridiculously high sex drives...over the summer I hung out with this guy in DC - who is apparently working his way through all the gay men in the city...holy crap - this guy amazed me...he seriously never spent a night alone....

He always complained about being single though lol...but damn...he sure wasn't lacking for sex...he's Blance - totally Blanche lol....

Just thought I'd throw that in...I'm extremely bored right now

[The Tower]

Brian- your post was wonderful!! The whole time I was reading it I thought:

"I see myself remaining when all of you are gone
And the reason that I paint you in my paintings
And the reason I record the sound of your voices"

Stevie just plain kicks ass. "Battle of the Dragon" really is one of her best songs ever- it's so powerful.

[markolas]

No doubt, really. Especially if you never have really exercised. Fast food 2-3 times a day for the whole year? did you see Supersize me? Oh, honey, can I be your personal trainer? :laugh: Never exercise. I'm shocked. :eek: Well, to each his own....But really, never exercise? that's so bad for you. ok, i'm over it...
Amber

Well, I eat fast food because I don't cook. I think it's starting to take its toll on my digestive system, so I may have to stop sometime soon.

I've never exercised...always hated physical activity in general. I'll grudgingly admit that I have put on a little weight in the last year, but I have a fear that if I start going to the gym or something, that I'll become one of those phony, plastic queens with rock-hard abs and no body hair.

[amber]

Well, I eat fast food because I don't cook. I think it's starting to take its toll on my digestive system, so I may have to stop sometime soon.

I've never exercised...always hated physical activity in general. I'll grudgingly admit that I have put on a little weight in the last year, but I have a fear that if I start going to the gym or something, that I'll become one of those phony, plastic queens with rock-hard abs and no body hair.
oh...this kind of upsets me, but i'm a really firm believer that everyone should exercise. But, you don't have to go to the gym and all that - and, I don't care if you've gained weight, so that's not why I think exercise is so important. Take a half hour fast walk with your headphones once a day. It's fun, you get to listen to music! Walk fast, though. When you're sitting at home in your frontroom, do 3 sets of 10,20,30 situps (however many you can) while your watching TV. Also, sometimes i jump rope in my house while i'm listening to music. that may be advanced, though. Also, while your watching TV do a couple push ups...if you can't do boy ones (I can't anymore, but we used to have to do 3 sets of 12 for college volleyball) do girl ones, I do. It's actually really easy to get a good workout without being a gym rat. And to me, walking fast for at least 30 minutes is really easy.
I'm just telling you this stuff because exercise makes people FEEL way better, gives you more energy, and, of course, makes your body healthier in all kinds of ways. If you really don't want to walk or something, have you considered yoga? It's good for more relaxed people, and has so many benefits you wouldn't believe. And, believe me, it is exercise.
oh, and do you ever get any of these new fast food salads? :)
Seriously, I could care less how you look, I just feel bad for people who miss out on the feel goodness of exercise, plus the health benefits, plus, it's not that hard to just get a bit in, and believe me, it's so worth it. Just try for a combined half hour 5 days a week... :D
(It's true that i've always loved physical exercise and sports best, since i was little. But I also know people who hate it, and they can still always find some kind they like. And they're always suprised by how much a better mood they're in, how much better they feel, how they sleep better and have more energy)
ok, off my soapbox - hope you'll consider it, sweetie!
Amber

[strandinthewind]

Amber - you are sooooooo right on the money with that advice. I have lost a ton of weight and feel great. AND - on days when I could not get to the gym, I would find something to do in the way of exercise. I have dogs, so I walk them - I do sit ups and push ups, etc. I am by no means back to fighting weight, but my energy level (which is already very high) is better!!!!!!

So, Markolas - get to it young man :cool:

[DrummerDeanna]

I started going to the gym about a year and a half ago - and what a difference!!!

I felt incredible..and lost about 10 - 15 pounds (without even shifting diet)...but come summer I didnt go so much and ate crappily so back came those pesky 10ish pounds.

I've joined a gym here in Rochester and it's great - they're trying to get my to shift my thinking - it's not weight i'm trying to lose - what I'm trying to do is lower my body fat percentage and increase my lean body mass....all the while losing inches...so I've lost more than two inches and gained some LBM - but only lost one pound - had I only been going on weight I would have been devastated....

So anyway - Im still trying to work on the diet - it's not horrible but it could be better...I'm just trying to cut down on the crap at this point...

Now i used to be SO against exercise (mostly because I was so out of shape that it did NOT feel good to exercise...) but after a little while I got used to it and got into better shape and it just feels great now....really helps with the mood and stress and all that....I'm hooked.

[amber]

Amber - you are sooooooo right on the money with that advice. I have lost a ton of weight and feel great. AND - on days when I could not get to the gym, I would find something to do in the way of exercise. I have dogs, so I walk them - I do sit ups and push ups, etc. I am by no means back to fighting weight, but my energy level (which is already very high) is better!!!!!!

So, Markolas - get to it young man :cool:
oh, good, a real live testament! That's awesome, strandie! I, too, have some work to do - but really I mainly need to lose weight. Unfortunately, my right knee started having painful problems about a year ago, which cut down on my walking. But since I wanted to walk to work and back (bout 1/2 hour each way) in addition to having to do most of my errands by walking (I walk up the hill, rollerblade down :laugh: ) I started taking glucosamine - someone recommended it for my knee- and that has helped a lot - so i'm back in! Been losing weight slowly...but i only had 15 lbs anyway, and i basically look the same so i'm not freaking out...and i have my weights at home that i bought for $10 at walgreens or something when i was 20 - those keep my arms looking good... :D
I'm so glad for you!!! :woohoo: :xoxo: Did you exercise before you started this new bout of exercise?
(Forgive me, I wanted to be a personal trainer for about 3-4 years in my eary 20's...)
Amber

[strandinthewind]

oh, good, a real live testament! That's awesome, strandie! I, too, have some work to do - but really I mainly need to lose weight. Unfortunately, my right knee started having painful problems about a year ago, which cut down on my walking. But since I wanted to walk to work and back (bout 1/2 hour each way) in addition to having to do most of my errands by walking (I walk up the hill, rollerblade down :laugh: ) I started taking glucosamine - someone recommended it for my knee- and that has helped a lot - so i'm back in! Been losing weight slowly...but i only had 15 lbs anyway, and i basically look the same so i'm not freaking out...and i have my weights at home that i bought for $10 at walgreens or something when i was 20 - those keep my arms looking good... :D
I'm so glad for you!!! :woohoo: :xoxo: Did you exercise before you started this new bout of exercise?
(Forgive me, I wanted to be a personal trainer for about 3-4 years in my eary 20's...)
Amber

I pretty much always exercised. It was just age that made the exercise not able to compensate for the food :laugh: So, I had to cut back on the food. I tried all the diets, but for me, it came down to this - I am not real good at sticking with a diet where things are cut out - like carbs. So, I have resolved myself to allowing let's say PIZZA only once every two weeks - and then it is a small not a large, even though I could eat a large in one sitting :laugh: Also, I find if I do some excercise a little before and after eating, I feel better. For instance, I sometimes walk around for ten minutes after eating or make myself go out of the building for lunch and then have to walk there and back. I know the walk is not going to get rid of the calories, but it does get the heart pumping. AND - the most important thing I think is that no one is perfect. If ya screw up and eat a large pizza one day - they are not going to take away your birthday :laugh: so just learn from that and try and not do it again.

I had a trainer for a year and half - so that helped. I also put a pic of myself looking fab. on the fridge :laugh:

:cool:

[amber]

I pretty much always exercised. It was just age that made the exercise not able to compensate for the food :laugh: So, I had to cut back on the food. I tried all the diets, but for me, it came down to this - I am not real good at sticking with a diet where things are cut out - like carbs. So, I have resolved myself to allowing let's say PIZZA only once every two weeks - and then it is a small not a large, even though I could eat a large in one sitting :laugh: Also, I find if I do some excercise a little before and after eating, I feel better. For instance, I sometimes walk around for ten minutes after eating or make myself go out of the building for lunch and then have to walk there and back. I know the walk is not going to get rid of the calories, but it does get the heart pumping. AND - the most important thing I think is that no one is perfect. If ya screw up and eat a large pizza one day - they are not going to take away your birthday :laugh: so just learn from that and try and not do it again.

I had a trainer for a year and half - so that helped. I also put a pic of myself looking fab. on the fridge :laugh:

:cool:
Ohhhh...Yeah, I actually just kinda discovered the whole exercise right after you eat so you won't feel sluggish thing. I, too, never dieted. I mean, for a while i was vegan no dairy no refined sugar, but I still ate a lot. Which is basically why I exercised so much :laugh: Sometimes I diet now, but not like other people. I just eat more veggies and fruits and whole grains (which makes you really full, actually) and try to eat less chips and well, chips :laugh: no, and hamburgers and stuff. I always feel better when i do that, but i don't always do that - it kind of goes in a monthly cycle, and as we all know, everything goes in cycles - so that's ok. But - I lose weight FAST with no beer, I tell you what :laugh: Yeah, my whole family has never dieted or anything, we're italian after all. My mom was just like "just eat until your full, and eat nutritious foods - duh!" But - the only reason i gained these stupid 15 lbs in the first place is cause i was PG - I would've never gained that much otherwise :mad: I would usually only go up, maybe, 2-4 lbs. Maybe. Anyway, great hearing your story, and i'm glad you're working it. I, too, am vain, so that fab picture of myself might work!

[DrummerDeanna]

I never seem to care enough to stop eating crappy foods :laugh: I just had some soft batch chocolate chip cookies...mmmm....

[skcin]

oh...this kind of upsets me, but i'm a really firm believer that everyone should exercise. But, you don't have to go to the gym and all that - and, I don't care if you've gained weight, so that's not why I think exercise is so important. Take a half hour fast walk with your headphones once a day. It's fun, you get to listen to music! Walk fast, though. When you're sitting at home in your frontroom, do 3 sets of 10,20,30 situps (however many you can) while your watching TV. Also, sometimes i jump rope in my house while i'm listening to music. that may be advanced, though. Also, while your watching TV do a couple push ups...if you can't do boy ones (I can't anymore, but we used to have to do 3 sets of 12 for college volleyball) do girl ones, I do. It's actually really easy to get a good workout without being a gym rat. And to me, walking fast for at least 30 minutes is really easy.
I'm just telling you this stuff because exercise makes people FEEL way better, gives you more energy, and, of course, makes your body healthier in all kinds of ways. If you really don't want to walk or something, have you considered yoga? It's good for more relaxed people, and has so many benefits you wouldn't believe. And, believe me, it is exercise.
oh, and do you ever get any of these new fast food salads? :)
Seriously, I could care less how you look, I just feel bad for people who miss out on the feel goodness of exercise, plus the health benefits, plus, it's not that hard to just get a bit in, and believe me, it's so worth it. Just try for a combined half hour 5 days a week... :D
(It's true that i've always loved physical exercise and sports best, since i was little. But I also know people who hate it, and they can still always find some kind they like. And they're always suprised by how much a better mood they're in, how much better they feel, how they sleep better and have more energy)
ok, off my soapbox - hope you'll consider it, sweetie!
Amber


Amber,

Do you talk really really fast, cuz for some reason whenever I read your posts I hear you saying the words really really fast... :shrug:

Paula
*wondering if Amber needs a sedative*

PS - I've been slackin' on the exercise the last couple of months. No weight gain, but I fell really sluggish & I hate that. I have to get my ass back in gear when I get back from vaca.....

[skcin]

I agree about Tusk, but I've never really cared for disco divas...

And you call yourself gay?!?!

Paula ;)

[amber]

I never seem to care enough to stop eating crappy foods :laugh: I just had some soft batch chocolate chip cookies...mmmm....
It's hard for me, too, i've always been a gluttonous snack head. But I definitely notice (especially at the advanced age of 30 :laugh: ) that i feel waaay crappier if i eat bad. And especially, sugar and cookies and candybars actually make me tired. Like right when i eat them. And cranky. I'm a bit hypoglycemic, so i gotta get my protein, and eat fairly often....

[amber]

Amber,

Do you talk really really fast, cuz for some reason whenever I read your posts I hear you saying the words really really fast... :shrug:

Paula
*wondering if Amber needs a sedative*

PS - I've been slackin' on the exercise the last couple of months. No weight gain, but I fell really sluggish & I hate that. I have to get my ass back in gear when I get back from vaca.....
:laugh: :laugh: well, yes. the other day the cute boy in my class was all "It's so funny to read your emails, because it's like you talk" but i don't talk this fast, but i do type fast. It's easier for me to think when i'm typing than when i'm talking, so i'm not that bad. But my brain just goes really fast - earlier in some thread I posted how i'm very impatient, and that is true. so. I don't really need a sedative, though. oh, I also walk really fast. I'm a bit high strung, fastish...but sometimes i'm just normal and lazy...cause i don't have the patience to do boring things. Oh, also i read fast, too. uh...i'm starting to feel like maybe i'm strange, now :laugh:
Anyway, keep up on your exercise, girl!

[Sugar]

Oh man, the gym SO did not work for me! I started out with the weight training and about 45 minutes of cardio, but I never lost weight. Now I understand the whole muscle weighs more than fat thing, but in 9 months I never lost weight. And it's not like I eat a lot, in fact I never ate junk or convenience food. And I built muscle, but I just couldn't lose.

So I ditched the weight training and just did the cardio, and it still didn't work.

Then I had a baby... :lol:

So now, the only thing that seems to work is starving myself, which I know is SO bad for SO many reasons, but it's the only thing that makes me see results.

And my husband is 6'5" and so thin, I could scream!

[amber]

Oh man, the gym SO did not work for me! I started out with the weight training and about 45 minutes of cardio, but I never lost weight. Now I understand the whole muscle weighs more than fat thing, but in 9 months I never lost weight. And it's not like I eat a lot, in fact I never ate junk or convenience food. And I built muscle, but I just couldn't lose.

So I ditched the weight training and just did the cardio, and it still didn't work.

Then I had a baby... :lol:

So now, the only thing that seems to work is starving myself, which I know is SO bad for SO many reasons, but it's the only thing that makes me see results.

And my husband is 6'5" and so thin, I could scream!You shouldn't do that - the very next minute you eat something, you'll gain so much weight. And besides how you say you never lost with cardio and weights...did you look different? I imagine you did, numbers on a scale aren't everything...weight training and cardio together are the most powerful tools for weight loss, and the weight training is especially important because muscle uses waaaaaay more calories than fat does. I hope you rescind your wreckless, wreckless ways - the only long term thing that works is cardio and weights :nod: Good luck.
AMber

[Sugar]

Yeah, I know the whole, "body thinks it's starving" thing about not eating...I'll try to find a better way.

Maybe I looked different before, but I didn't look better. Kinda like wearing football pads under your clothes, my muscles got bigger, but I didn't get any smaller. I could only guess I shoulda been a boxer or something... :lol:

[DrummerDeanna]

Oh man, the gym SO did not work for me! I started out with the weight training and about 45 minutes of cardio, but I never lost weight. Now I understand the whole muscle weighs more than fat thing, but in 9 months I never lost weight. And it's not like I eat a lot, in fact I never ate junk or convenience food. And I built muscle, but I just couldn't lose.

So I ditched the weight training and just did the cardio, and it still didn't work.

Then I had a baby... :lol:

So now, the only thing that seems to work is starving myself, which I know is SO bad for SO many reasons, but it's the only thing that makes me see results.

And my husband is 6'5" and so thin, I could scream!

what sometimes trips people up is that you can gain weight by eating too little food as well as too much...

I was reading about some lady at my gym who was frustrated because she was working out like mad but wouldn't lose - she had a diet survey done - turns out she was eating WAY LESS calories than one should in a day - I only wish I had the problem of having of not eating enough...haha..

anyway - so if you don't eat a lot - perhaps that could be a problem...

[amber]

Yeah, I know the whole, "body thinks it's starving" thing about not eating...I'll try to find a better way.

Maybe I looked different before, but I didn't look better. Kinda like wearing football pads under your clothes, my muscles got bigger, but I didn't get any smaller. I could only guess I shoulda been a boxer or something... :lol:
some girls think they are too bulky with muscles, but I think you have to be a pretty big girl for that to happen. I, personally, think girls look worse when they're flabby and skinny. I've never been one of those girls who wanted to be "smaller", and i don't really respect that (no offense to you, I have no idea what you look like or anything) I think girls should be strong and in good shape. But if you didn't like the bulk, you could've used smaller weights. But yeah, it does take a while for some people to get smaller when they start their exercise, and you will bulk up a bit first. But whatever works for you, is what works for you, so...if you like it, then it's perfect, right :thumbsup: :nod:
Amber

[Sugar]

WOW! That's so crazy! But it sounds like what happened with me. Perhaps I should adopt that "lots o' little meals" philosophy.


Thanks Deanna!

[DrummerDeanna]

WOW! That's so crazy! But it sounds like what happened with me. Perhaps I should adopt that "lots o' little meals" philosophy.


Thanks Deanna!

:nod: yeah - I thought it was strange too...but my gym offers this whole diet makeover program...haha..so apparently it's a real problem for some...

Amber- I agree - smaller is not always better...I'm actually pretty happy with myself right now- minus the legs (I've NEVER liked my legs...) haha...but I just eat what I like (without going too overboard) and exercise...it works - I haven't changed appearance much - when I stop working out I get a little mushier but yeah - I'm NOT skinny, never will be...but I'm in shape...

[Sugar]

some girls think they are too bulky with muscles, but I think you have to be a pretty big girl for that to happen. I, personally, think girls look worse when they're flabby and skinny. I've never been one of those girls who wanted to be "smaller", and i don't really respect that (no offense to you, I have no idea what you look like or anything) I think girls should be strong and in good shape. But if you didn't like the bulk, you could've used smaller weights. But yeah, it does take a while for some people to get smaller when they start their exercise, and you will bulk up a bit first. But whatever works for you, is what works for you, so...if you like it, then it's perfect, right :thumbsup: :nod:
Amber

Well, I am one of those big girls, and it's not the weight (although being overweight doesn't help), it's just the way I'm built. I'm only about 5'8", but I've had guys tell me they'd kill for my shoulders :lol: and I'd give Xena a run for her money! I don't respect girls who want to look smaller generally, but believe me it gets old when guys come up behind you and pat you on the shoulder like a boxer, call you killer, and ask you to fight their fights for them. And this is when I was young and hot! At about 170lbs., mind you!

[The Tower]

Heeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??? What happened to my fabulous, ka-zow-eee, gay thread?? :mad:

You chicks (yes, Jason, I'm including you as a chick) have hijacked this lovely gayness and shoved it straight into Susan Powter-"Stop the Insanity"-land!!!

JEEZUS!!























:laugh: :laugh: :p :lol:

[dissention]

oh, and do you ever get any of these new fast food salads? :)

I hope not, they have just as much fat in them as Big Macs. :o

[The Tower]

Since this has become quite the hen-house as of late, I might as well take advantage of the situation... :lol:

Straight Chick Poll

Is it true that straight women like male-on-male gay porn as much as gay men do?

I've heard rumors and I like to poll the Ledgie straight chick electorate.

[DrummerDeanna]

Since this has become quite the hen-house as of late, I might as well take advantage of the situation... :lol:

Straight Chick Poll

Is it true that straight women like male-on-male gay porn as much as gay men do?

I've heard rumors and I like to poll the Ledgie straight chick electorate.


Umm...well - no. I've never gotten a thrill from porn of any kind - not my cup of tea...

None of the women in my life enjoy gay porn either (or at least they don't admit it ;) )

[Sugar]

Can't say I do, but I don't really watch any porn, so maybe I'm not the best one to ask.

:shrug:

[amber]

I hope not, they have just as much fat in them as Big Macs. :o
depending on the dressing. And, at least you are eating a vegetable, with fiber, when you get them. no, they're not the best, but they are a bit better.
Amber

[GypsySorcerer]

No, porn doesn't do it for me, either. :wavey:

[dissention]

depending on the dressing. And, at least you are eating a vegetable, with fiber, when you get them. no, they're not the best, but they are a bit better.
Amber

Yeah, but if you get a chicken salad or a taco salad or any of those fancy ones, they have more fat than a Big Mac. Sadly, people don't go to fast food restaurants and get regular salads, they get the Chicken Supreme ****. :o

[amber]

Well, I am one of those big girls, and it's not the weight (although being overweight doesn't help), it's just the way I'm built. I'm only about 5'8", but I've had guys tell me they'd kill for my shoulders :lol: and I'd give Xena a run for her money! I don't respect girls who want to look smaller generally, but believe me it gets old when guys come up behind you and pat you on the shoulder like a boxer, call you killer, and ask you to fight their fights for them. And this is when I was young and hot! At about 170lbs., mind you!
ooo...yeah, you are kind of a big girl! That's pretty cool, but i totally see your point. I'm kinda extra muscly, naturally, but i'm only 5'3". I would've killed for your body as a volleyball and basketball player, though! It sounds kinda nice...you probably have big ol boobs, too :laugh: :laugh:
Amber

[GypsySorcerer]

Having been raised Catholic, I can understand where you're coming from when you question how one can be homosexual and "moralled" at the same time.

For many, it seems like a contradiction in terms.

In fact, it was something I struggled with for a very long time. How could I ever aspire to be all the things I was raised to be, and, yet, also be this "aberration."

Trust me, that kind of thinking seriously messed with my head for a very long time. Between that confliction, and the daily verbal and physical harassment I faced at school, I very nearly became a statistic.
I couldn't reconcile who I was with who I was told I should be. In my heart, I didn't think I was inherently bad simply because I wasn't 100% straight (at that point in time, I was still desperately clinging to the notion that I was, at MOST, bisexual), but the very fact that I had any romantic or sexual inclinations towards men, seemed to doom me to hell.

Because of my experiences, I can understand a lot of things... I can understand those who marry because they think they'll be able to keep their homosexuality "in check."
I can understand those who are afraid that it will never get better for them, and that their family and friends will never understand, so their only solution is suicide.
I can understand those who feel that they're "going to hell anyway," so their self-esteem suffers because of it, and they find themselves in emotionally-empty and unfulfilling situations and relationships, and/or find themselves dependent on drugs or alcohol.

When you're told, or lead to believe, that what you are is inherently immoral, it seems that there's nowhere left to go but downward.

I am, I believe, as God created me.
I didn't just wake up when I was 16 and say, "hey, I think I'll be gay"... I always was.

I remember, as a child, being captivated by masculinity. The way men and boys my age walked, talked, laughed, smelled, and on and on. I liked the way I felt when I was around them... this sense of completion. Like it was where I belonged.

I didn't understand sexuality at that age... I was very naive. So it wasn't about sex at all. It was about what felt "right" to me. A child.

But, along the way I realized that these feelings weren't considered normal. That what I was, and what I felt drawn to, was bad and a deviance.
I had it drummed into my head from all angles... family, peers, the media. Homosexuality was only regarded as one of two things: Something to hate or something to laugh at.

And, sadly, I bought into all that. Some guys lash out, but I turned inward. I hated myself, more than I could ever hate anything else.
It sounds corny, I admit, but sometimes it really was only Stevie's music that got me through from one day to another. I could find comfort in her trials and tribulations. They weren't exactly the same as mine, but I related to the journey.

Even still, it was nearly impossible, on a day-to-day basis, to find many things to get out of bed for. To want to live for.
So, yeah, I'll admit here and now that I started to plan not having to go on. What did Trent Reznor say? "A lifetime of f**king things up, fixed in one determined flash"?

But somewhere along the way... thank God, Allah, Buddha, the fates, the stars, Stevie's lyrics, and anything else there is to thank... I began to stop thinking of morality in other people's terms. I stopped thinking of morality as being this black & white, cut & dry thing.
And I began to stop thinking of myself as an aberration. I was raised to believe that God created us all in His image, and that each of us is here for a reason. So I started to think maybe I was here for a reason, too.
Not some outlandish, "I'm going to save the world from destruction someday" kind of thing... just that maybe I'd have the chance to touch some life, in some small way, and make even the tiniest of differences.

I realized I could be "moral": honest, helpful, compassionate, empathic, generous, loving... and still be gay. They weren't opposing forces after all.

If anything, my experiences coming to terms with being gay taught me all the more, how important it was to try and be as good of a person as I can.
I'm human, and I make mistakes. I'll never be perfect, and I'm not even trying to be... but I can aspire to be one of "the good guys."

Yeah, I hope that maybe someday something I say might help someone else realize that "gay & moralled" can indeed go hand in hand. It's a nice thought, no? :)

So, Hawkeye, if you're still with me... I do think that morality and homosexuality can go together. We're the ones who try to keep them apart. :nod:

Eloquently stated and so true. You're a gifted writer and you do Stevie proud. :)

[amber]

Since this has become quite the hen-house as of late, I might as well take advantage of the situation... :lol:

Straight Chick Poll

Is it true that straight women like male-on-male gay porn as much as gay men do?

I've heard rumors and I like to poll the Ledgie straight chick electorate.
Sorry about hijacking your gay thread! :sorry: I've never seen a gay porn film - I dunno, if there's weiners, i might like it :laugh: But I don't watch porn hardly at all...in fact, never, really, now. I like to read my porn, but I suppose it would be cool. At least i wouldn't have to see giant fake boobs, and fake moaning sounds...well, i guess they probably have the fake moaning, too. But still...

[dissention]

I like to read my porn....

I should send you a copy of Lynne Cheney's magnum opus "Sisters." Who knew the VP's wife was such a big lesbian? :laugh:

[amber]

Yeah, but if you get a chicken salad or a taco salad or any of those fancy ones, they have more fat than a Big Mac. Sadly, people don't go to fast food restaurants and get regular salads, they get the Chicken Supreme ****. :o
Right, but with some of those salads (perhaps not taco) you still get more nutrients and fiber to go with the fat. I mean, it's not the ideal choice, but i maintain it can be better than a big mac :D

[amber]

I should send you a copy of Lynne Cheney's magnum opus "Sisters." Who knew the VP's wife was such a big lesbian? :laugh:
yep. :laugh: but I generally prefer non-lez porn...though actually i haven't even been reading much porn lately...uh oh...better get a boyfriend fast!!! :laugh:

[Sugar]

ooo...yeah, you are kind of a big girl! That's pretty cool, but i totally see your point. I'm kinda extra muscly, naturally, but i'm only 5'3". I would've killed for your body as a volleyball and basketball player, though! It sounds kinda nice...you probably have big ol boobs, too :laugh: :laugh:
Amber

Oh yeah, I was a hell of a field hockey goalie and placed very well in the shotput for track! I get that from a lot of female athletes, and I've stood down quite a few men who thought I would just quiver away into nothing because they stepped up to me. That part of being a big girl is always fun!

And my boobs...you have no idea... :laugh:

[amber]

Oh yeah, I was a hell of a field hockey goalie and placed very well in the shotput for track! I get that from a lot of female athletes, and I've stood down quite a few men who thought I would just quiver away into nothing because they stepped up to me. That part of being a big girl is always fun!

And my boobs...you have no idea... :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: Sweeeeeet!

[strandinthewind]

Yeah, but if you get a chicken salad or a taco salad or any of those fancy ones, they have more fat than a Big Mac. Sadly, people don't go to fast food restaurants and get regular salads, they get the Chicken Supreme ****. :o

Well, not a grilled chicken breast salad.

AND - fat is not a bad thing. It just needs to be in moderation :shrug:

A Big Mac has 30 grams of fat http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=5

A Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken has 9 grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10070

a Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken has 6 grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10068

and if you add Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette, you get 3 more grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10103

so - none of those really compare to the Big Mac :shrug: - -which I suggest must be had with fries :laugh:

:cool:

[DrummerDeanna]

Well, I am one of those big girls, and it's not the weight (although being overweight doesn't help), it's just the way I'm built. I'm only about 5'8", but I've had guys tell me they'd kill for my shoulders :lol: and I'd give Xena a run for her money! I don't respect girls who want to look smaller generally, but believe me it gets old when guys come up behind you and pat you on the shoulder like a boxer, call you killer, and ask you to fight their fights for them. And this is when I was young and hot! At about 170lbs., mind you!


I keep seeing Xena everytime you post now :laugh:

I am 5'1'' and not skinny not fat...(more on the slightly overweight side) but am for the most part pretty solid...so I've never been intimidating at all...and no -have never been called "killer" :laugh:

[DrummerDeanna]

Well, not a grilled chicken breast salad.

AND - fat is not a bad thing. It just needs to be in moderation :shrug:

A Big Mac has 30 grams of fat http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=5

A Bacon Ranch Salad with Grilled Chicken has 9 grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10070

a Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken has 6 grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10068

and if you add Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette, you get 3 more grams of fat

http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&itemID=10103

so - none of those really compare to the Big Mac :shrug: - -which I suggest must be had with fries :laugh:

:cool:

You guys are making me so hungry....

[Sugar]

I keep Xena everytime you post now :laugh:

I am 5'1'' and not skinny not fat...(more on the slightly overweight side) but am for the most part pretty solid...so I've never been intimidating at all...and no -have never been called "killer" :laugh:

That's cool! Xena's bitchin!

I, conversely, have often been intimidating without meaning to be. To boot, I also have a deep voice, so often people think I'm a man on the phone.

It's like a study in gender roles. I've had A LOT of people assume I'm gay just because of how I look. And A LOT of men shun me because I'm a physical match. Ironically, generally speaking, more diminuitive men have been much nicer to me over the years. I think it makes sense if you think about it.

It kind of all comes back to the "straight white men don't like to be challenged for their superior position" thing me and The Tower were talking about in another thread.

[dissention]

AND - fat is not a bad thing. It just needs to be in moderation :shrug:

No, it depends on which kinds of fats you eat. ;)

And I like how you picked the salad with one of the lowest fat contents. :laugh: When it comes to fat, you shouldn't really pay attention to the total fat more than you should be paying attention to the saturated fat, is what you should stay away from.

Some more info from that link you posted:

Bacon Ranch Salad- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
Caesar Salad- 4.5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Grilled Chicken- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Crispy Chicken- 6 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Sour Cream)- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (without Sour Cream and Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat

and this is all without salad dressing. To eat 6 grams of saturated fat in one sitting is unhealthy, but eating 10-13 is ridiculous. Add another 2.5-3.5 for 2 oz. of dressing.

A Big Mac has 10 grams of saturated fat. ;)

[amber]

No, it depends on which kinds of fats you eat. ;)

And I like how you picked the salad with one of the lowest fat contents. :laugh: When it comes to fat, you shouldn't really pay attention to the total fat more than you should be paying attention to the saturated fat, is what you should stay away from.

Some more info from that link you posted:

Bacon Ranch Salad- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
Caesar Salad- 4.5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Grilled Chicken- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Crispy Chicken- 6 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Sour Cream)- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (without Sour Cream and Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat

and this is all without salad dressing. To eat 6 grams of saturated fat in one sitting is unhealthy, but eating 10-13 is ridiculous. Add another 2.5-3.5 for 2 oz. of dressing.

A Big Mac has 10 grams of saturated fat. ;)
Gosh, i rarely paid attention to kinds of fat, even though i knew i was supposed to. I mean, besides fat from olives and avacados (good fat) Now you're making me fear for my arteries, which is good. Been checking cholesterol lately....but i didn't know how much was too much in one sitting (ie, six grams is way too much) Spanks!!

[dissention]

Gosh, i rarely paid attention to kinds of fat, even though i knew i was supposed to. I mean, besides fat from olives and avacados (good fat) Now you're making me fear for my arteries, which is good. Been checking cholesterol lately....but i didn't know how much was too much in one sitting (ie, six grams is way too much) Spanks!!

No one should have more than 30 grams of saturated fat a day, but many dieticians say even that is too much and you should stick to between 15-18 grams. I try not to eat it at all because it's the worst fat out there. Try to eat foods that have monounsaturated fats like natural peanut butter. :)

[amber]

No one should have more than 30 grams of saturated fat a day, but many dieticians say even that is too much and you should stick to between 15-18 grams. I try not to eat it at all because it's the worst fat out there. Try to eat foods that have monounsaturated fats like natural peanut butter. :)
Thank you, it helps me when i can quantify it like that. I try to eat good fats, but when i'm eating bad anyways, with my hamburger and chip loving ways, it's a bit pointless. it's like, i either will be eating crap, or I won't. My fave good fat food is olives. I don't buy PBJ that often, cause i will eat a lot of those sandwiches, and they make me a bit tired. But sometimes. I usually just eat nuts... :D That way there is not the extra sugar and carbs of bread and jelly.. anyway, thanks again! uh, how many grams of cholesterol per day? It's ok if you don't want to tell me, i could "research" it.
AMber

[strandinthewind]

No, it depends on which kinds of fats you eat. ;)

And I like how you picked the salad with one of the lowest fat contents. :laugh: When it comes to fat, you shouldn't really pay attention to the total fat more than you should be paying attention to the saturated fat, is what you should stay away from.

Some more info from that link you posted:

Bacon Ranch Salad- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
Caesar Salad- 4.5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Grilled Chicken- 5 GRAMS of saturated fat
California Cobb Salad with Crispy Chicken- 6 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (with Sour Cream)- 13 GRAMS of saturated fat
Fiesta Salad (without Sour Cream and Salsa)- 10 GRAMS of saturated fat

and this is all without salad dressing. To eat 6 grams of saturated fat in one sitting is unhealthy, but eating 10-13 is ridiculous. Add another 2.5-3.5 for 2 oz. of dressing.

A Big Mac has 10 grams of saturated fat. ;)

OOPS

STRAND (AKA JASON) IS A BID IDIOT!!!!!! :eek:

DISSENTION RULES!!!!


P.S. Was that CONTRITE enough :cool:

BTW - Lynn Cheney is a brand of ketchup :eek:

[amber]

OOPS

STRAND (AKA JASON) IS A BID IDIOT!!!!!! :eek:

DISSENTION RULES!!!!


P.S. Was that CONTRITE enough :cool:

BTW - Lynn Cheney is a brand of ketchup :eek:
But i submit anything with dark green lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoe, is better than a big mac. and you weren't completely wrong. I mean, feel free to kiss diss's ass if you want :laugh: :laugh: but salad is still better...
Amber

[diamondsnake]

Back to the topic at hand, since this is a Gay subject thread I thought I'd get this off my chest.

Why is it okay for everyone to call gay people "fags" and it is not okay to refer to a black person as a "niger"? They are both completely degrading terms and it seems like a huge double standard. I have noticed this a lot lately now that school has started back up. The teachers allow Students to use the word "fag" as if it is no big deal.

Okay, sorry for being a downer this has just been bothering me lately.

[amber]

Back to the topic at hand, since this is a Gay subject thread I thought I'd get this off my chest.

Why is it okay for everyone to call gay people "fags" and it is not okay to refer to a black person as a "niger"? They are both completely degrading terms and it seems like a huge double standard. I have noticed this a lot lately now that school has started back up. The teachers allow Students to use the word "fag" as if it is no big deal.

Okay, sorry for being a downer this has just been bothering me lately.
I think it's because gay people have reclaimed "fag" and don't find it offensive, sometimes, when people they know and like call them that. Also, fag is another word that means cigarette, but originally meant a group of sticks you tie together and burn (in England). I mean, if someone was using it derrogatorily, they, i'm sure, would object. But black people have reclaimed "n-word" to, but i think it's much more offensive and they're also more sensitive, imo. But also, N-word has never meant anything else, I don't think. I mean, I've heard white people talking to their black friends occasionally using it,(wassup, nigga!) but these people obviously know each other and it's ok.
Which reminds me of a story of how i got in so much trouble by using the word gay once:
I had rollerbladed to the music store, and as i went in, the guy was all "you have to take those off" which always pisses me off, as i am more coordinated on those damn blades than on my feet. Also, that music store had never required me to take them off before. So then this person walks in with a dog, and i said "Wait, i have to take off my rollerblades, but they can bring a dog in??? (I love dogs, but i was pissed) THAT IS SO GAY!!!" I, of course, am not prejudiced against gay people and was using it in the 5th grade sense. which was not good anyway to say in 5th grade, but we did. Anyways, this super gay guy behind the counter (super gay as opposed to just gay :laugh: ) gets really pissed, and is like "ohnoyoudidnotjustsaythat!!!! :mad: GET OUT!!! ROLL YOUR BIG BUTT ON OUTTA HERE!!!!" I mean, he said some more stuff, but that is the jist of it. And he made a big scene, when i am not prejudiced, and whatever. Anyway, you gotta watch what you say. But i was still pissed at him, because i do not like it when certain groups feel they "own" words, but mostly because even though he thought i was insulting him, he then insulted me (big butt? uh, not really, you're just jealous :D )
so, anyway....
Amber

[diamondsnake]

I think it's because gay people have reclaimed "fag" and don't find it offensive, sometimes, when people they know and like call them that. Also, fag is another word that means cigarette, but originally meant a group of sticks you tie together and burn (in England). I mean, if someone was using it derrogatorily, they, i'm sure, would object. But black people have reclaimed "n-word" to, but i think it's much more offensive and they're also more sensitive, imo. But also, N-word has never meant anything else, I don't think. I mean, I've heard white people talking to their black friends occasionally using it,(wassup, nigga!) but these people obviously know each other and it's ok.
Which reminds me of a story of how i got in so much trouble by using the word gay once:
I had rollerbladed to the music store, and as i went in, the guy was all "you have to take those off" which always pisses me off, as i am more coordinated on those damn blades than on my feet. Also, that music store had never required me to take them off before. So then this person walks in with a dog, and i said "Wait, i have to take off my rollerblades, but they can bring a dog in??? (I love dogs, but i was pissed) THAT IS SO GAY!!!" I, of course, am not prejudiced against gay people and was using it in the 5th grade sense. which was not good anyway to say in 5th grade, but we did. Anyways, this super gay guy behind the counter (super gay as opposed to just gay :laugh: ) gets really pissed, and is like "ohnoyoudidnotjustsaythat!!!! :mad: GET OUT!!! ROLL YOUR BIG BUTT ON OUTTA HERE!!!!" I mean, he said some more stuff, but that is the jist of it. And he made a big scene, when i am not prejudiced, and whatever. Anyway, you gotta watch what you say. But i was still pissed at him, because i do not like it when certain groups feel they "own" words, but mostly because even though he thought i was insulting him, he then insulted me (big butt? uh, not really, you're just jealous :D )
so, anyway....
Amber
LOL! "Roll your butt out of here!" I am rotflmao!

Anyways, I think both of those words are extremely offensive depending on the context. And it is weird that you say that black people are more sensative then gay people. I think that is so true! But based on the exterior (the way gay men verse black men generally dress and talk and interact) you would think that the opposite was true. But seriously gay people seem pretty mellow and laid back unless you are a uptight like the guy you described at that record store!

[amber]

LOL! "Roll your butt out of here!" I am rotflmao!

Anyways, I think both of those words are extremely offensive depending on the context. And it is weird that you say that black people are more sensative then gay people. I think that is so true! But based on the exterior (the way gay men verse black men generally dress and talk and interact) you would think that the opposite was true. But seriously gay people seem pretty mellow and laid back unless you are a uptight like the guy you described at that record store!
Yeah, and it was "roll your BIG butt on outta here!!" :laugh: Yeah, I'm sorta mystified by AFA stuff sometimes, here in Oakland i've really experienced reverse racism, which is strange cause in my town there weren't hardly any black people (I literally saw 2 - my doctor, and this girl who moved to my highschool freshman year) but we were all taught (in school at least, don't know what people were telling their kids at home) that racism is wrong, and everyone is equal, blah blah. But if you think about it, a lot of white people are gay, but only black people are black...does that make sense? I mean, there are a lot of gay people who won't get upset about racism stuff, cause they are white-ish...I dunno, white gay people may not have a bunch of cultural differences with other white people, except for being gay...gosh, i'm not explaining this very well, i'll stop now...
Amber

[diamondsnake]

Yeah, and it was "roll your BIG butt on outta here!!" :laugh: Yeah, I'm sorta mystified by AFA stuff sometimes, here in Oakland i've really experienced reverse racism, which is strange cause in my town there weren't hardly any black people (I literally saw 2 - my doctor, and this girl who moved to my highschool freshman year) but we were all taught (in school at least, don't know what people were telling their kids at home) that racism is wrong, and everyone is equal, blah blah. But if you think about it, a lot of white people are gay, but only black people are black...does that make sense? I mean, there are a lot of gay people who won't get upset about racism stuff, cause they are white-ish...I dunno, white gay people may not have a bunch of cultural differences with other white people, except for being gay...gosh, i'm not explaining this very well, i'll stop now...
Amber
I'm confused! LOL

But as far as reverse racism goes I know what you mean. My grandparents own a Life Insurance Company and they hired a woman who happened to be African American but she wasn't getting the job done so they let her go. She played the racism card... This woman's family called the company several times and said they were going to "get" my grandmother! That is insane that this woman would do this.

And I also cringe when this one African American person in my history class always uses the phrase "it's because i'm black" whenever he doesn't get his way with the teacher. It is like get over yourself!

[amber]

I'm confused! LOL

But as far as reverse racism goes I know what you mean. My grandparents own a Life Insurance Company and they hired a woman who happened to be African American but she wasn't getting the job done so they let her go. She played the racism card... This woman's family called the company several times and said they were going to "get" my grandmother! That is insane that this woman would do this.

And I also cringe when this one African American person in my history class always uses the phrase "it's because i'm black" whenever he doesn't get his way with the teacher. It is like get over yourself!
Yeah, that stuff pisses me off, too. I think people are sort of, drawing it out to way past the extent that most people actually ARE racist. I mean, obviously, in some places, people are still really racist, but....for sure, not the uppermiddlewhiteliberal berkeley people, and probably most people who live in Oakland aren't that way. I mean, you can't use racism for having an excuse for getting away with acting bad...IMO. :shrug:

[amber]

Omigod, they finally showed Will kissing someone on Will & Grace! Woohooo!
It was like this... :xoxo: :xoxo: but on the lips....
:laugh:
Amber

[strandinthewind]

But i submit anything with dark green lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoe, is better than a big mac. and you weren't completely wrong. I mean, feel free to kiss diss's ass if you want :laugh: :laugh: but salad is still better...
Amber


I agree - but Diss can shoot further than I :eek:

[amber]

I agree - but Diss can shoot further than I :eek:
What do you mean, shoot? This isn't some weird contest that girls can't participate in, is it? Or are you just talking about research? Cause his stuff really didn't prove anything except that SOME salads have a lot of saturated fat... :confused:
Amberguesa

[strandinthewind]

What do you mean, shoot? This isn't some weird contest that girls can't participate in, is it? Or are you just talking about research? Cause his stuff really didn't prove anything except that SOME salads have a lot of saturated fat... :confused:
Amberguesa


Actually - I know a few girls who can . . . :laugh:

[amber]

Actually - I know a few girls who can . . . :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: yeah, i've heard about those girls... :laugh: though i still don't know what you meant. It occured to me you may be talking about a gun? What the heck's goin' on down there in Georgia?! I mean, I know the Devil went down there, but i don't think you have a fiddle... :laugh:

[strandinthewind]

:laugh: :laugh: yeah, i've heard about those girls... :laugh: though i still don't know what you meant. It occured to me you may be talking about a gun? What the heck's goin' on down there in Georgia?! I mean, I know the Devil went down there, but i don't think you have a fiddle... :laugh:

I knew this girl in college who could lift her leg and hit the urinal from ten feet :eek:

She is now called Dissention :laugh: (FEEL THE LOVE DARLIN' :laugh: )

[amber]

I knew this girl in college who could lift her leg and hit the urinal from ten feet :eek:

She is now called Dissention :laugh: (FEEL THE LOVE DARLIN' :laugh: )
:laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol: :laugh: <====cut to me...Wow, I thought you were straight, buhfore, but... :laugh: :wavey:

[sparky]

Roll your BIG BUTT on outta here !

That is genius.

In answer to The Tower, I know two, count 'em TWO Big Ole Dykes who love gay male porn.

[amber]

Roll your BIG BUTT on outta here !

That is genius.

In answer to The Tower, I know two, count 'em TWO Big Ole Dykes who love gay male porn.
Right on! (about the porn) but don't you think it was lame that he was mad that i "insulted" him :rolleyes: (cause i wasn't) but that he insulted me then? I call that "not productive" and, P.S., it WAS a great line, but my butt is not very big, but it is nice and round. and i was wearing a skirt. It's like, i didn't mean to insult him, but he insulted me on purpose :mad: For goodness sake i slept with a girl! :laugh: Stupid sensitive gay men! :laugh: (toooootally kidding). I'm sorry, since i know i'm not prejudice, and i know i won't fall on my rollerblades, i get really pissed off with people telling me what words i can and can not use. yes, i know that that is touchy, and other people use these words in an offensive way... but goddamit, it makes me feel censored! heh heh.
AMber

[dissention]

I agree - but Diss can shoot further than I :eek:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[dissention]

What do you mean, shoot? This isn't some weird contest that girls can't participate in, is it? Or are you just talking about research? Cause his stuff really didn't prove anything except that SOME salads have a lot of saturated fat... :confused:
Amberguesa

It proved that most salads are just as bad as Big Mac's without even one drop of dressing. :shrug:

[dissention]

I knew this girl in college who could lift her leg and hit the urinal from ten feet :eek:

She is now called Dissention :laugh: (FEEL THE LOVE DARLIN' :laugh: )

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I'm feeling it, darling.

[markolas]

I hate salad. The kind amber was talking about, anyway. :laugh:

I may try the exercising thing. Yesterday I didn't eat any fast food at all! That's the first time that's happened in several months, probably. Although, I did eat three different kinds of pasta from the Olive Garden. Maybe that's just as bad. :shrug:

[strandinthewind]

Back to the topic at hand, since this is a Gay subject thread I thought I'd get this off my chest.

Why is it okay for everyone to call gay people "fags" and it is not okay to refer to a black person as a "niger"? They are both completely degrading terms and it seems like a huge double standard. I have noticed this a lot lately now that school has started back up. The teachers allow Students to use the word "fag" as if it is no big deal.

Okay, sorry for being a downer this has just been bothering me lately.


I have often said such terms are derogatory. Interestingly, the same could be said for the term "redneck" - I mean that term is rarely used in a non-perjorative context and usually with contempt a la fag and the N word :shrug:

[The Tower]

I have no issues with the use of the word "fag". Those who use it perjoratively just look like absolute fools these days. As if anyone with any sense of decency would sit back and agree with someone who made a statement such as "Those fags should burn in hell", "I hate those fags" or "Stupid faggot". Yep, good one buddy- I sure as hell agree with that!

I think the best way to diffuse that kind of behavior is just to agree. Like if someone said to me, "Hey Chris, you're a f*cking faggot!", my answer would be, "Why yes I am- thanks so much for noticing!"

I'm proud to be gay, so if someone wants to point that out I have no issues with it.

[Violet]

Interestingly, the same could be said for the term "redneck" - I mean that term is rarely used in a non-perjorative context and usually with contempt a la fag and the N word :shrug:

Actually, I have a brother and a couple brothers-in-law who fondly refer to themselves and their friends as rednecks. And they all are, too; hunting, flannel-wearing, live-in-the-boonies rednecks.

Carol
(Who, unlike her brother, prefers city/suburban life, and the only flannel I wear would be pjs, occasionally)

[sparky]

I knew this girl in college who could lift her leg and hit the urinal from ten feet :eek:

OMG, the awesome terror of that visual.
:eek:

What the hell were you drinking when you had THAT contest ? :xoxo:

[strandinthewind]

What the hell were you drinking when you had THAT contest ? :xoxo:

a lot :cool:

[sparky]

I have often said such terms are derogatory. Interestingly, the same could be said for the term "redneck" - I mean that term is rarely used in a non-perjorative context and usually with contempt a la fag and the N word :shrug:

Hmmm....I grew up in total redneck country. I think redneck has actually changed too. They seem to have taken it back, ala the N word and a lot of the other charged terms in our lexicon. I rarely hear the word uttered with contempt. It is more like a common noun. So much of the change in tone with these words indicates the intent of the speaker - it is not always wise to simply react to the use of the word. You can call my pickup truck redneck, and I guess it kind of is, but if you sneer at it and spit out, "What a redneck heap that truck is", I may be inspired to give you a swift kick in the ass !
:laugh:

[strandinthewind]

Actually, I have a brother and a couple brothers-in-law who fondly refer to themselves and their friends as rednecks. And they all are, too; hunting, flannel-wearing, live-in-the-boonies rednecks.

Carol
(Who, unlike her brother, prefers city/suburban life, and the only flannel I wear would be pjs, occasionally)

true - but black people refer to each other as the N word - but does that make it okay for a caucasian to do so as well and in the same manner and intent :shrug:

[DrummerDeanna]

I actually don't think it's okay for anyone (even black folks) to use the "n-word" why why why would they adopt this term and use it? I agree with Cos in what he says about the use of the "n-word". I don't go around to my hispanic friends, "Hey Wetback!" or "Heya spic!" it's degrading...

In the same token I also don't see at as "okay" that people use the word fag....as Diamondsnake's original post stated...I've always percieved it as it's okay for people who are gay to use these terms (a similar situation to who can use the "n-word") like Like Dyke used to be a bad thing - now it seems to be accepted....

Umm...yeah..that's my take :)

[Violet]

true - but black people refer to each other as the N word - but does that make it okay for a caucasian to do so as well and in the same manner and intent :shrug:

Oh, I totally agree with everything y'all have said on that subject. Just wanted to throw in there that "redneck" maybe is a little different....maybe it's not. I also don't think redneck is as derogatory as the N word.

I'm not gay (though I have read with interest a good bit of this thread), so I can't really comment on "fag" and "dyke". All I can say is one of my best friends (I've known her since we were 3, grew up across the street from each other, and we went to see the Mac together last May :) ) is gay, and that's the only word I ever hear her use. Once when she was describing a girlfriend to me, she used the word Lipstick Lesbian. But that's it. She only uses "gay." Maybe she's different when she's around only gay friends, but I'd like to think she's not.

Carol

[Sugar]

I don't use any of those words ever. I think they are all bad words, bad in the sense that they serve no purpose other that to demean someone else. They're just too much trouble.

My sister was dating a black guy (Polo) and her best friend is a gay man who is in a committed relatinship with "Shane". Well one day Shane was pissed that Polo was being a jerk and consequently called him a "nigger". Shane felt he was justified because Polo had called him "faggot" numerous times before. Now my sister would say all the "faggot" comments were good-natured and that Polo didn't mean anything by it, but Shane wasn't convinced. Needless to say it's all a big mess now.

Now I think Polo has problems with gays and I think Shane has problems with blacks, but if no one ever used either of those words, whether they thought they were being funny or otherwise, it wouldn't be the mess it is.

You just never know what the other guy is thinking...

[amber]

You just never know what the other guy is thinking...
Very true. I've learned that a couple times now...
AMber

[The Tower]

Now I think Polo has problems with gays and I think Shane has problems with blacks, but if no one ever used either of those words, whether they thought they were being funny or otherwise, it wouldn't be the mess it is.

You just never know what the other guy is thinking...

I don't think using those words pejoratively is a good thing, either. However, the smarter thing to do would to NOT be offended by the words. If you allow yourself to be offended by the taunt, then you're just giving the offender exactly what they wanted.

"You're calling me a faggot- so what? I'm gay and I don't care if you don't like it. By using that term you've just made yourself look like an idiot."

[dissention]

a lot :cool:

Surprise, surprise. :laugh: :xoxo:

[strandinthewind]

Surprise, surprise. :laugh: :xoxo:


Well, it was a day that ended in "ay" :laugh: :laugh:

[skcin]

OT - wait, no, ON topic, lol. :D

Just bought my friend a magnet that says "if being gay is a disease, can I call in queer?" :laugh:

Paula

[Johnny Stew]

Just bought my friend a magnet that says "if being gay is a disease, can I call in queer?" :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
I love that!

For the past several years, I've sworn that I'm going to buy my friend Anne (yes, she would be considered my "fruit fly") the shirt that says, "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is."
Of course, it's intended to be worn by a man, but it fits our situation perfectly, since everyone always assumes we're a couple. We're told that we're so cute together, and that our flirting is infectuous! :laugh: