Feuds

[skcin]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

Yeah, and my mother's husband is still preaching. What brass cajones that fella has on him. I am civil to him for my mother's sake...because I love her...but it was screwed up man! I wouldn't have believed it had I not lived thru it. I hate to admit this, but I hoped they would be miserable with their lives because of what they had done. My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now."

I would feel the same way you do. To throw away your life, your family, everything...I don't know, I've never been in that situation, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't be that selfish. Sorry, I hope you're doing OK.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

My mother told me a year or so ago that she "hated her life without us and the way her day today life is. But I love my husband and that's what matters now."

I'm sorry Brandon.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Thank you, Jake. Actually, the resident assistant who was supposed to be disciplining the girls was laughing at me along with them. It was a bitch but there are much worse things to endure than some idiots who are perpetually in high school laughing at you. I think the family situations (some that have been mentioned on here and others) are far more important, so I try to put things in perspective even though that's contradictory to my drama queen nature.

An RA does have superiors.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

We don't talk to a lot of my family. In fact, i'm being forced to go to a family BBQ this afternoon with my fathers side of the family

Everything is so complicated because there is divorce, remarriage, etc. To begin, my father and his twin brother never knew their father (and in fact, he passed away last Wednesday). He abandoned my grandmother in Italy and then went on to have twins of his own with some other woman. My dad and his brother are 57. They have two half-brothers (Salvatore and Anthony) and a half-sister, Rose. My dad and his twin brother haven't been on the best of terms for the past few years which in turn, caused his daughter (who is expecting her first child this week) and son to treat me like complete crap. We all live in the same housing development and i'd wave as I was leaving and they were coming in and they'd ignore me. My father doesn't like Sal (he's a bit of a blowhard) nor his sister Rose (she's a total space cadet and that's putting it mildly). My grandmother likes to cause problems between my dad and his twin brother and her husband (he's also 100% Italian and has cheated on her for years) and my dad and my dads brother do not get along. I hate him and he knows it.

My mom has a half-sister she's only met once and then she has a brother whom she's currently duking it out with. He and his first wife are divorced and my mom took care of their son (my cousin who is like a brother to me) when he was little because both of them were school teachers. Well, Eric has always been incredibly close to us but this past Christmas my uncle made some comments that my mom didn't really like. My uncle has a step son he's always treated like crap and is rather controlling of his wife. My mom said something about it--at their house Merry Christmas! He threw a soda can at my mom and they haven't spoken since.

As far as celebrity feuds, I love anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she's fighting every five seconds with someone new.

I'm incredibly laxed and don't enjoy confrontation unless I feel it's absolutely warranted. The only feud I've had is with a coworker talking about me and the rest of my coworkers incessantly. She and I have had shouting matches -- it took a year and a half for me to get adaquately wound up until I finally explode. Generally, i'll ignore things because I like to keep the peace. This woman went too far.

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

It was for my neighbor--my dad saw him as a dad but never met his real father (he lived and died in Italy--I have family there i've never met). Ironically, the day his real father died was the day our neighbor was rushed to the hospital. My dad was one of the pallbearers yesterday and spoke about how he didn't have a tie on because whenever we'd go somewhere that required his wearing one, he'd go across the street and have Jim tie his tie because he never knew how

Just you wait. Lohan gets around quite a bit--i'm sure she'll end up with her boyfriend too and Doherty will kick her ass

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

Please don't think I'm being self-righteous, but have you tried counseling?

- Jake

Mmm..no I havent. A girlfriend of mine suggested it years ago but I just didnt want to to do that. I probably felt like I didnt need it, or I was being weak by doing that. I did go thru a depressive period where my doc put me on Zoloft. That actually made things worse...and I truly didnt feel like I was depressed, but I'd took the Docs advice. I realized during the course of feeling like **** while taking this medicine I didn't have it so bad and I didn't need it! haha

[Mari]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

Not to be preachy, but if it's something you want, don't let fear stop you. Don't wait until after someone dies.

- Jake

I know you're right. I tried to get in contact with my grandmother a while ago because it nearly was too late. But then the only way I could go and see her, was via one aunt I absolutely hate. She's done some real evil stuff, told lies.. I can't even tell that here. And the few things I heard from my grandmother made it clear how she thinks about the whole situation.. Maybe I wasn't that big a person then that I would go there and let all their stuff slide off me. And maybe my grandmother wasn't that great a person either and wasn't worth my trying.
I know I have to try again to contact some of them one day, because if I don't it will bug me forever. They never made any effort in my direction, but I guess it's not about that.. if I want to, I should do it myself.
My dad though, I'm pretty clear on that, no way and never again, thank you.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by skcin

I would feel the same way you do. To throw away your life, your family, everything...I don't know, I've never been in that situation, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't be that selfish. Sorry, I hope you're doing OK.

And thats what I feel like she did. Threw it all away...but she is a human being and I cant fault her, even though I put her on a pedestal because she's my mother. I know she's got her own life now...so thinking that way its easier for me to deal with what happened. That was 7 years ago, it seems like yesterday, and it still hurts when I see her. I still think about what happened.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

An RA does have superiors.

- Jake

I know. I just chose not to pursue it.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

I had a good childhood. My mother was a homemaker and raised myself, my brother and my sister. My dad always had a good job and we never really needed anything. They didn't spoil us...but we had everything we needed and about 50% of what we wanted! My mother was a good mother and she did everything she could for us.

My family moved to Chattanooga, TN in 1992. From 92-98 we went to one church there near Cleveland. Growing up in this church I was very close to the pastor, his family and many of the kids that went to church there. In fact, I was head of the youth group at a certain point. My father however, was not a church-goer. He went on Easter and Christmas I think and that was it.

In 1998 my mother dropped the bomb on us that she and my father were getting divorced. What a shock that was...I still am not fully over it when I think about. Well I was pretty damn distraught...and guess who I went to see? Yup, my pastor. He spoke with me for an hour or so. Me, and Danny's son Tim, who was a good friend of mine, all went to see Mask of Zorro and have lunch.

Months later towards Christmastime my mother announces she is marrying Danny, who is divorcing his wife Suzy (of over 20 yrs) to marry my mother!!! After speaking to my sister months later after Christmas...my sister had known that my mother was seeing Danny about 8 months before she announced the divorce. So...that sonofabitch Danny was seeing my mother the whole time...so when I had gone to see him about the divorce he didn't have the balls to tell me. He lied to me telling me crap like "these things happen." Oh it still upsets me when I think about that day.

I will never ever trust him under any circumstance...I have very little trust in my own mother at this point too, even though I love her the same. My father of course was in complete shock...he had no clue. I suppose none of us did. We have all gone our seperate ways. My sister and mother do not speak ever. My brother and I speak to our mother maybe once every month. It's a damn shame.

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

And thats what I feel like she did. Threw it all away...but she is a person and I cant fault her, even though I put her on a pedestal because she's my mother. I know she's got her own life now...so thinking that way its easier for me to deal with what happened. That was 7 years ago, it seems like yesterday, and it still hurts when I see her. I still think about what happened.

You know hurts me still too SUZE...It was a painful thing...and I know I don't have it so damn bad. You know there are starving children everywhere, sick & homeless so I cant complain too much. But in the end, we all have our battles...and I distrust people very much, especially people in church. I just feel like the things that happened in my life are a real shame. I'm doing the same thing too...trying to make something of my life and be happy about it.

[Mari]

Ditto, here!

[sara1998]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

[xdreamsunwindx]

My dad and I are *barely* on speaking terms. There are times where we go weeks without talking to eachother. There are a lot of grudges between us. He has a drinking problem, treats my mother and I like ****, and is in general an incredibly bitter person, and he's totally against everything I do. He's not happy with the fact that I'm playing in rock bands, that I'm a vegitarian and an animal rights supporter, a liberal, etc. He hates the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate. He gave me the "little girls should be seen and not heard" speech MANY times in the past few years. I'm like, I'm fifteen years old, I'm not a little girl, and you should be HAPPY with the fact that I know how to express my views intelligently. I don't want to get into the rest of it now, because I'll just get pissed off and stuff.

Also, much of my extended family hates me because I hate George Bush and don't practice a certain religion, and they're all uber conservative christians. Plus, they think that I worship Satan. -_- Then there's a few people I went to middle school with whom I absolutely despise. They just ****ed with me and my friends, and I didn't dig that at all. They know I hate them, too. Preps are evil. EVIL.

As far as celebrity feuds go, I could care less. Though, I think that Lindsay Lohan could deffinitely kick Jessica Simpson's ass.

[Mari]

^Sara1998 Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today