How Have You Changed

[jannieC]

For the 30+ Ledgies,

How have you changed since you were in your twenties? Or when you were a teenager? Physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

[vivfox]

I have changed, oh but you, you remain ageless...

[fringed n fab]

I think for the most part I've remained the same person I always was. I'm 36 and when looking at some much younger people sometimes, I feel time has been good to me lol. You have to take care of yourself early on to notice the benefits later. Mostly I don't feel my age because in soul I stay the same person but it's when I run into old friends from high school who had kids shortly after when we were 18 or 20 and now their kids are near the age we were back then, THAT'S when I feel my age.... : / I do have to say life is much easier today to be the person you are then it was as a teen and 20-something back then. In that regard I wouldn't want to be 20 again even though I loved my childhood and 20's growing up.

[mylittledemon]

I think i've changed physically more than anything... I seem to be dealing with more afflictions of late than I ever have in the past. I've been healthy 98% of my life up until lately.

Emotionally? Still the same wreck of a man inside as I've always been

Spiritually... I've never wavered in that... although there has been a number of years where I was angry at God. Maybe it's cliched, but I do think as I've gotten older... it easier to step back and take a look at events in my life and know that ... there was no way I had control over them... that there was a divine purpose in some of it. There's no reason for me to be angry at God anymore, because I've had pretty much everything I want in life. I've been extremely blessed... so if I die tomorrow, I can't complain.

[Meowi]

Originally Posted by jannieC

For the 30+ Ledgies,

How have you changed since you were in your twenties? Or when you were a teenager? Physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

I'm still not taking it, your not 30+ Janet.


By the way, I sent you a follow request on Twitter...

[fringed n fab]

On religion, I share a lot of traditional views but there are times when it differs with others because I look into broader views about it than when I was a child or what I was taught. I used to never question anything but how can we not? In short, I think God loves all his children and we're here to learn for him and I never used to believe in destiny or past lives and all that but now I question what if it is true? I mean, I don't know. If we really have lived past lives (some, not everyone do) and been many different people while still always keeping our very essence and soul of who we always are, including being both male and female possibly in past lives, then maybe just maybe some of that carries over into now and makes us like we are. Maybe that's why we ourselves don't understand it so why would people hate or condemn you for it? I don't know. These are the very things you could never bring up in church. It's between you and God really. What if we did come here to live this life with a very detailed chart that we wrote ourselves including all the option lines we threw in and our exit points depending on which one we want to take. All in learning for God. I was always non-denominational in my beliefs but these days it's more "open" I think. If only because theres so many questions traditional minded people can't or wont help you discuss.

This gave me chills the other night because I have read where people talk about some sort of "scanning machine" before, that appears and plays over your entire life in vivid detail, but to hear someone describe it for once was fascinating to me because it is supposed to exist on the Other Side.




I wish I could find this entire episode to post online

http://link.biography.com/services/p...d=678575326001

[Nikolaj]

Originally Posted by jannieC

For the 30+ Ledgies,

How have you changed since you were in your twenties? Or when you were a teenager? Physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Physically: Haven't changed a lot, same jeans size, same hair texture and volume, just some facial skin irritations now, from shaving. I'm told I look "the same" though I never am seen first thing in the morning, anymore. Physically, I look terrible after a long sleep, like I've been thrown from a moving train- a rapidly speeding moving train, with me landing in sand and rocks!! I move much slower in the mornings now- It's a miracle I ever get out of the house. On the plus side, I'd say the body is probably even better than when I was young. The face bugs me- I miss "great skin" and it takes much more time to get myself together so I don't have that exhausted, decadent look, which may be chic at 24, but in the 40s ages you- Me.
Now, how I feel? Older. Takes longer to 'bounce back'- and I was never all that bouncy to begin with.
Emotionally: I can get through things I don't like without a huge volume of turmoil, and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I was younger, a week or a month would seem like an eternity. So, I guess I've learned 'patience' and that was very lacking in my youth. Now, I know time moves quickly, and I accept any crisis as just part of living, rather than freak out as much at them. Freaking out continually gets too exhausting after, oh, 35.
Spiritually: Much stronger spiritually now, it is of much more importance to me, resulting in being more peaceful and freer than I ever was. Seeing the blessings, saying 'thank you' out loud for them, remembering the good bits and letting go, as much as I can of the bad, helps me keep from dwelling on the negatives of which there were, and are, plenty. I don't dwell on it as much as I did when young.
"So what" is an attitude I never had then, now it's there.
I don't love being older, but I'm not as unhappy as when I was young, so I like that. It's harder, more and more, to maintain an illusion of youth, and the knowledge that it is an illusion, when I manage to pull it off, is humbling. Being humbler is a nicer part of being older, not only for me, but for those I deal with or who have to deal with me.
To all the young people under 30, enjoy it as much as you can. I didn't.
I'd do that differently now.

[holidayroad]

I think I've changed in some ways since I was a teen. I don't care as much about what people think of me. I'm not as insecure. I don't allow people to treat me badly or let them walk all over me anymore. I was bad about that in my teens and early 20s.

[David]

With age, I have achieved a heightened spirituality & a greater love for humanity. I am less quixotic but I am more accepting of setbacks & harsh realities. I think I also more easily find humor in the unexpected & the mundane.

Age has clarified my philosophy to me, but my youthful curiosity has abated somewhat.

Also, my wanderjahre has largely dissipated.

[Amlyn]

It's funny you ask cause I had this conversation with a couple of friends just the other night.

I will be 36 in a few weeks and on some level it blows my mind that I've been an adult half my life. Sometimes there are moments where I still feel like the 18 year old freshman in college -- nerves and anxiety about being on my own, the world at my fingertips, the uncertainty of whats to come. But as the years march on, those moments are lessening and are becoming more filled with the reality of being that adult -- work struggles, bills to pay, unexpected family dramas that you are no longer shielded from, having to make tougher choices that will shape an outcome for you. From a practical standpoint, hopes and dreams have been replaced with realism and compromise. Not in every instance, but in many, many more.

But to specifically answer your question,the greatest change I see in myself is acceptance. I have learned that you can't change people for who you want them to be and it isn't fair for others to have that expectation of you. You need to cherish and love and most of all accept someone for the person that they are, flaws and all. Family too! I've learned that I will be dissapointed by people in life and there will be times I will dissapoint people. But you start to find a way to move on from it and figure out how to use an unwelcomed time or experience as a stepping stone so you can grow from it.

And I've also learned that I have to accept myself for who I am at this point in my life. Sure, 15 years ago I would have told you I'd be married, probably a few kids, but to this point my life has taken a different direction. At the moment, I'm relishing my freedom and being able to jet off at a moments notice. I also may not wear that tiny clothing size....yet....but I"m trying to get there and improve my overall health and lifestyle. But in the meantime, I try to make the best of what I got and put my best foot forward and draw strength from within. At the end of the day, I want to feel like there was something worthwhile that came from that day. Cause it's really true when they say the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and months turn into years. Can't let it all just pass you by.

[GypsySorcerer]

I think in some ways, I've changed dramatically. At 18, I would have imagined myself at 30 married, possibly with kids (or one on the way), and working wherever a degree in mass communication could get me a job. If someone told me then that I would be teaching college today, I would have literally laughed out loud. My life is far from what I imagined, but it's far better.

I've learned to not underestimate myself. The more I age, the less I care what other people think of me, especially people who really don't matter in the long run. I've learned to ask myself if some incident will still be significant/important five years down the road, and if I answer no, I let it go.

I've also gotten much better at ridding drama from my life. I simply don't waste the time I once did worrying about/trying to change people. If a relationship is toxic, I'm not afraid to cut ties anymore.

Interesting topic, Janet.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by David

Also, my wanderjahre has largely dissipated.

I hear there's a little blue pill, my friend. Little blue pill.

I don't think I've changed much, physically(yes, I know we'd ALL like to think that we've not). I'm 42, and my band played last night....this man came up to me, on break, and said, "my wife wants to know how old you are....she's guessing that you're about 25". Made.my.night.

But physically, our bodies do change. I had a ton of pool parties last summer, and there were many 18-25yo's there. Now, even though I'm pretty thin now, I can admit, that my body still doesn't look like theirs. Age(and I'm sure, the fact that I once weighed 80 lbs more than this), has taken a small toll. I guess a gym might fix that.... I do have as much energy as ever, though. My 28yo friend, says I have more energy, than anyone he's ever known. And I rarely sit in a club, even though my friends do. Too much energy for that!
But socially, I'm more confident than I've ever been(and I'm sure most of it, can be attributed to my weight loss[actually, it was a positive reinforcement cycle...weight loss fed attention/confidence....attention/confidence kept up the weight loss...]). But, like someone else said, I don't care so much, what others think, now. I love me, more than I ever have. And if "they" don't, well, someone else will.

The SH*TTY part for me is: Dammit, I wasted ten years of my life. And I have great regret, for doing that. When I was about 30, I had, what I've ALWAYS considered to be, the love of my life, leave me. I was completely heartbroken, and emotionally bankrupt, and I just went into this shell, from which it literally took me ten years to emerge. So yeah, I threw a decade of my life, away(I mean, I had friends, but wasn't open at all, to relationships, or love. And I just let myself go, physically). I have great regret, over the fact that it took me so long, to emerge. Tick, tick, tick.
So, tick, tick, tick. Even though it's in the back of my mind....I'm now the best me that I've ever been. I love me, and have a lot to offer. The world is my oyster, and I'm cracking that sucker!

Life, bring it on!
(and I just got home, from the most amazing date. I'm really stunned, by how great it was. And it only took me 17 months of trying! lol)

[estranged4life]

I'm more in tune with myself then I was back in my younger years. I take better care of myself physically theses days, Not like I didn't in my 'misplaced childhood', but I am a very healthy, hyper and an energetic 40 year old who still has a mind that is about 20 years younger in thought/approach.

I no longer let things that bothered me at age 20 bother me at age 40 - Why bother with the extra energy wasted on the worry? Or the energy on the hatred and annoyance? I just let that **** go and go forward...

People assume I'm much younger because I've gone to great links to take care of myself (No drugs/alcohol/etc.) after ALL the losses I have to endure in my life - and I for one don't want to bury the problems behind some chemically enhancement which will eventually fade away and leave the problem still there. I have family members who have done exactly that and I would rather blaze my own trail and go the different route than what they have chosen to do.


Another thing is that I understand alot of the modern technologies that most in their 40's don't have a grasp on....Doesn't mean I'm better than anyone ("I'm better than noone and noone is better than me - it's all equality"), it's just how I keep my mind active so when I eventually grow old I won't allow my mind to become a waste of matter than stays 3 feet above my ass - there's a reason for it and I will take full advantage of it until the very end.

Relationship wise, I think I'll be a better husband/Father (I'm kinda a "Father" to my ex-fiancee's Christy/former Ledgie "nickay's" daughter Savannah and my niece Kendra and nephew Shane - Moreso Savannah since I can understand some of what she is going through at the age of 13) someday down the road. I learned alot from the 17 years Debbie & I were together (Married for 15 years) and won't make the same mistakes as I did - I try to learn from them to avoid making them over and over.

I'm sure in about 9 years I will still be a metalhead, still on the Ledge posting, still addicted to Sudoku, and writing my thoughts down because I sometimes cannot verbalize the words (I'm a 'non-verbal communicative intro-vertive personality') to describe how I am feeling at the exact time I am asked...Christy/'nickay' can tell you that, she's known me for almost 23 years now.

[Nikolaj]

^
Rather than ask you, I googled 'Sodoku'- Fun, then? What's the most enjoyable element of it?
I still play around with the late 90s game 'Word Mojo' but it is pretty stagnant, I keep waiting for it to be updated, be faster, more challenging, or have more bells and whistles, something.
I am not one for video games, but anything with words is fun for me, a solo super-Scrabble on line would be about perfect for me.
In the brief description I read of Sodoku, I think it said it was a puzzles-based game, so does that mean word puzzles, or like jigsaw puzzles- if it's jigsaw-esque, I'd be laughingly horrible at it. Putting all the pieces together is something I never mastered!

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

Not like I didn't in my 'misplaced childhood'

Marillion!!