Bullying in Schools

[holidayroad]

Originally Posted by bellagypsy79

Thank you for your posts on this subject. It means a lot to me to hear your stories and thoughts. I need to correct an error I made in that comment about me surviving and "so can they", I was saying "they" as in the victims, not the bullys. Sorry for the typo. LOL!

I knew you meant the victims. I should have been more clear in my post. Not every victim of bullying can handle it. Like I said, if someone is a victim of bullying and they have a good life otherwise, maybe they can manage. If the victim has a bad home life already, plus bullying to deal with, it can become unbearable.

[estranged4life]

I suffered in my younger days was in during 2nd grade, and I was bullied due to the color of my skin (white).

My hometown of Muskogee Oklahoma did not start integration of schools until the early to mid 70's, which led to many racial issues (That still exist today). When I was in kindergarden I knew of only one black student in my class, Natalie Walker, who didn't judge people on their skin color (And someone I counted on as a friend even after I graduated high school) and treated everyone equally regardless of skin/creed/etc.

After kindergarden, Old Irving Elementary (Which was a building at least over 100 years old) was torn down to be replace with a new Irving Elementary. So for First Grade I, along with my 2 older brothers, was bused across town to Grant-Foreman Elementary along with all the other Irving students for the school year. Still, there were not many black students at the combination of Grant-Foreman (A white middle class district) and Irving (Lower/Middle working class district).

The start of Second Grade saw the original Irving students back at the location of Old Irving, but inside a brand new facility. But with the larger facility came the re-districting of the school districts. So Irving became a school for those in Lower/Middle working class area around the school and the school for those in the Poor/Low income class district North of Main street in Muskogee, what is the largely black population district.

Racial issues and tension were still strong in the mid 70's, and the new 'students' singled me out for no other reason than I was 'white'. So I had noone minus my peers (Pre-2nd grade) and my older brother (4 years older) to defend me. The bullying continued on and on, until after October 1977.

I remember this as if it occurred just yesterday, Those same bullying students were making fun of "My Daddy"....You know, the usual macho BS postering "Your Daddy is this...", "Your Daddy is that..." - not realizing that my Dad had just died very recently (Saturday October 22,1977), which as a 7 year old boy was very ABSOLUTELY devastating to deal with.

My teacher that year took those 'bullies' out of class and informed them of what had happened to me family, and that the bullying they did was not only uncalled for, but very very much in the wrong.

Those same black students, realized (I'm assuming after the principal contacted their parents) that what they did was wrong and apologized to me...And a REAL apology at that since maybe their conscience may have gotten the best of them after what they did and didn't realize what was going on in my family's life.

Those same 'black' students, from that time until now have remained some of my closest friends during my elementary/Jr. High/High school days. We all grew up together, understood we were going through the same BS in life regardless of 'skin color' and no longer saw each other as "black" or "white", or "insiders" or "outsiders" - but we saw each others as equals and friends.

I never recalled being bullied again after that or me being a bully...Not in my personality.

Ironically, My cousin Wendell who died on this very date back in 1989 was the opposite of me when it came to racial issues...Whereas I was dealing with a legal issues (Having NOTHING to do with race) due to my own stupidity and 'parental-neglect' in early 1988, he was dealing with legal issues because he was a member of a 'white racist' group that started a riot at Muskogee High School against some of my friends (Of color - Whom I apologized to profusely afterwards because I did not want Wendell's views to be misconstrued as being my families outlook of race - sorry my Mom didn't play that ****, she was Irish/Scottish she married a Irish Cherokee, and raised her kids to know color/sexual preference/etc is NO reason to lash out at someone)

[UndoingTheLaces]

I'd just like to throw in a few cents about the bullying topic. This is for those of you who've been talking about the impact that the bullying has had on your lives.

I was bullied like crazy in school. I was picked on because I was different. I didn't even know I was gay back then but when you're a boy who likes to play with the girls, hates sports and has more of an effeminate demeanor than a masculine swagger then you are a prime target. The "popular" kids were more disinterested rather than mean, and the worst of the bullies were what some would call the lower class kids who get in trouble for all sorts of things. Still, when you're picked on you tend to lump every snide comment in with every punch in the stomach, no matter where either of them came from.

When my ten year reunion came around I scoffed. I was so full of resentment and anger and the last thing I wanted to do was to go back there and be around those awful people. Then I saw Romy & Michelle's Class Reunion. I was filled with a new sense of pride and going back to my reunion meant I would tell these people off and show them that they'll never keep me down. That reunion never happened.

My fifteenth came around and I was a nervous wreck. I was out to everyone but my parents, who still lived in the same town as a lot of the people I'd gone to school with. If I went with a woman I wouldn't be true to myself, but if I took a guy the small town rumor mill would certainly get back to them. Still, I plotted and planned, in perfect TV sitcom style that I would take one of my porn model friends with me, male or female, rent a car I couldn't possibly afford, and make a big show out of being a huge success in Hollywood even though I lived paycheck to paycheck and didn't think of my life as being all that fabulous. That reunion was so small and so last minute I couldn't have made it if I wanted to. So, that was that.

Recently, a girl from my high school contacted me on Facebook trying to get together all 98 members of our class for our twenty-fifth reunion. I've been through so many feelings about my childhood and have become such a different person in my life that I really regard those days more like some movie I'd seen long ago rather than anything that has control over my life right now. So, without much thought, and not expecting much to come of it, I added her. Next thing I know I'm getting tons of requests from people I haven't talked to in nearly 20 years, many of whom I didn't really talk to much then. What transpired was a virtual reunion unlike any I would have guessed. Most of them added me just to be in the loop and other than polite hellos we didn't really converse. But the conversations I did get into were pretty amazing. I found out that many of the people I'd had very bad feelings towards for many years didn't even remember me as being unpopular. The girl who had first added me was surprised to find, through some FB postings, that I had been picked on so bad in school. And a lot of people I'd thought of as being in the "A" crowd, actually weren't and didn't think of themselves as anything more than just part of everybody else. Quite a revelation for someone who went through a good many years believing a large segment of those 98 students hated them.

Something else happened. I went through a lot of my FB postings over the past few years, wondering what they looked like to someone who didn't know me other than a small remembrance of that awkward kid they went to school with. And I was amazed to find that I was absolutely impressed. Looking at my life in short little soundbites, videos, jokes and songs, I realized that I've led quite a remarkable life. While my accomplishments may seem minuscule to some they could seem incredible to others. And the idea that all these people from my past can see them now does not make me feel that I am better than anyone, it simply makes me feel good that I can share these things with people and that I can see their lives and appreciate the things they've gone through as well.

So if you feel anger, resentment and tons of other bad feelings about your past, let it go. Look at what you have now and appreciate every little thing that makes you who you are. And I'd be willing to bet that among those few embittered people who made your life hell, there were probably many more who never got to know you as well as they wanted, and there were many more who didn't have it as good as you thought they did.

Life is like a rose and every day we pull back the pedals to find new and interesting things all within the same little flower.