The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I think, in a perfect world, people wouldn't hold store to how one looks aesthetically. Unfortunately, considering the people I see around me on a daily basis, there aren't many of us who believe that. People who believed that it was the outside that counted made my life hell for many years, leading me down the road of self harm, suicidal tendencies, depression and eating disorders throughout my teenage years. They're still demons I still carry with me, because the fact that they've been coping mechanisms for so many years trained me into believing that nothing else helps. I withhold meals daily, self harm when I'm in an especially dark place that my music and art can't soothe and I constantly battle against depression. I know some of this is my own fault, because I've always been hyper sensitive. But alot of it isn't. It's the fault of people who ever told me I was too fat to be anybody's friend (manbeast was my nickname at school...). It's the people who ever told me I wasn't good enough, who chose to heighten their confidence by comparing myself negatively to them. It's my father who told me to my face that he didn't love me. And yes, this probably is a whiny ass post. But these whiny feelings were conjured by people making me feel so god-damn low that I have now zero self worth. But it's the people who don't judge on appearances and other flaws, the ones who only want to make people feel better about themselves and fulfil their potential, that make me feel proud that i didn't give in to my urges years ago and remove myself from the equation.

For the first time in my life I'm in a place where I can say, without any doubt, that I'm glad I survived.

It's not your fault you're sensitive. Sensitivity is a trait like eye color. You can't just will yourself to be less sensitive. Telling someone they're too sensitive is the same as telling someone they are too short or too brunette. We really need to respect more temperaments than the Clint Eastwood badass type. I think most of us with weight "issues" are very sensitive hence reaching for the comfort food provides. We can't be less sensitive but we can learn that what others think of us really doesn't matter. The attempted homogenization in high schools is awful. Not everyone fits the same mold.

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

It's not your fault you're sensitive. Sensitivity is a trait like eye color. You can't just will yourself to be less sensitive. Telling someone they're too sensitive is the same as telling someone they are too short or too brunette. We really need to respect more temperaments than the Clint Eastwood badass type. I think most of us with weight "issues" are very sensitive hence reaching for the comfort food provides. We can't be less sensitive but we can learn that what others think of us really doesn't matter. The attempted homogenization in high schools is awful. Not everyone fits the same mold.

I really don't have anything to add other than this post is just beautiful & totally spot on.

[carrie721]

also, let's keep in mind that the person who's slinging the "you're too sensitive" crap is doing so in lieu of taking responsible for the things he says.

[mezzoforte]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I'd never heard the term, and thought you made it up.

They are pretty skinny!

I like being thin. I also like to eat. Quite the conundrum. If I only didn't hate throwing up so much!!!(that IS a joke)

Really? That struck you as clever and well-timed? I'm more baffled than offended.

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I've heard of this myself, and unfortunately know people who actually took it as a serious inspiration. To me it's not completely different to the websites advising people how to commit suicide. Just as dangerous, in my opinion. Anorexia and Bulimia are suicide. Just slower forms of it.

So true. I've really had the chance to see that this spring.
We recently found out my aunt has a form of early-onset dementia, very possibly Wernicke-Korsakoff (better known as wet brain), which would be a result of her lifelong battles with alcohol, pills and bulimia. A great-aunt on my other side has ovarian cancer but can't receive chemo as often as a patient normally would because she's ravaged her body over decades of alcoholism and anorexia, developed in her modeling days. Both are smart, naturally beautiful women in their early-mid sixties who may have robbed themselves of decades by mistreating their bodies for so long. They actually inspired me to get much more serious about my own issues.

I'm revolted by thinspiration blogs but do feel miserable for the people who write them--their roads won't be easy. Even if they manage to overcome anorexia, I can't imagine they'll ever forgive themselves for encouraging others down the rabbit hole of body dysmorphia.

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I'm late for a date, and don't really have time to respond....I will say, that I'm always AMAZED at how UBER sensitive people are. I'm tough as nails, and words just simply don't bother me.

Folks, they're just words. Listen to your ditzy queen, "words don't matter, they don't matter at all".

Now y'all have a great night. I'm in love, and I certainly intend to!

I hate it when people adopt this position. Of course words matter! (Especially in this context--we're on frigging message board! Your words are probably all I will ever know of you.)

They are our most powerful tool of expression (this is also why it pains me to see punctuation abused). With words we can capture own own feelings in ways that affect others--sometimes in a positive way (as novelists and lyricists connect to an audience), sometimes in a negative one: we've all heard of taunting contributing to the suicides of gay teens.

Language matters and you are accountable for the things you write. You might disagree with the reactions people have to them, but only a narcissist of the highest order wouldn't be troubled to have offended a number of people (not that I expect anything I say about you to land).

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

Ugh I don't even know how to start this in a reasonable manner. Like some of the others who've posted about the subject, I've also been through an eating disorder and even though now I've "turned around completely" and I love food I still have days where it's hard and I do still skip meals, I just make up for them otherwise. It never goes away.

Dave, I'm happy you lost weight and are comfortable in your own body, that really is a brilliant achievement and is something to be proud of, I just think there's much more sensitive ways of approaching the subject than "I'm skinny so now I get the hot babes. I didn't before" and therefore implying subconsciously that if you're overweight (or not even that, just not Barbie/Ken skinny) you don't get the "hotties". It seems like you've gone from one extreme to the other and that's frightening. I don't remember where you said it but I remember you saying how you sometimes don't eat and that it hurts but you take that as a good sign because you're fighting it. I've been there, done that and it nearly killed me.

I feel like I'm beginning to get confrontational now, see. I don't want to be making an example of you but it's becoming inevitable as I type, the Riot Grrrl in me is still a bit of an oncoming storm.

On the subject of thinspiration, Bee, you're completely right. They are no different. It's just foul that one human can dictate to another how to achievewhat they consider perfection. No one should be anyone's thinspiration.

My ex-girlfriend also went through it. She also nearly killed herself and she looks in the mirror every day and thinks she's fat. She's almost 6' and I think she weighs about 7 stone. Do the maths.

Seeing discussions about it that are supportive towards one another are brilliant because we can help eachother and provide a shoulder to lean on but making jokes and enforcing the belief that skinny=perfect, IMO is NOT ok and never ever will be. I wish some people would just think a bit more before they type.

Very well said, Georgie. I'm glad you shared that.

Originally Posted by DefDumbandBlond

Best response in this whole conversation Carrie, thank you. I'm glad somebody understands the viewpoint and that our responses are not just "being overly sensitive" to the issue(s).

Seconded!

[chelluversu]

I don't really know what to say on this issue, but I'll make it up as I go.

I'm 18 years old, I weigh about 140 lbs, and I am 5.5'6.

I never realized how much of an issue my weight was to me until I started noticing that I couldn't eat whatever the hell I wanted and get away with it like I used to. I could eat an entire house and not gain a pound when I was younger. All of that has changed. I freak out a little when I gain more than 5 lbs that just doesn't seem to go away. I am super self conscious about my stomach not being as flat as it used to be. I'm not bulimic at all. I skip meals mostly because I just forget to eat something or I just don't get hungry. I'm not sure what this is exactly, but I do know that it's bad.

What I don't need is someone telling me (indirectly) is that skinny is perfect and that I need to do whatever I can to stay that way.

I'm lucky enough to have a boyfriend that could care less if I gained a few pounds...I need someone like that around, I guess.

After the topic of thinspiration came up I decided to google it and I saw some of the discussions on the forum. I got to one part of the forum that gave advice on how to purge and eating certain foods as a marker so that you will know when to stop. All of this crap is very upsetting to me because the people seeking advice on these forums are teenagers that are like 14 years old. I don't know when this **** happened where the world became fixated on what a person should look like weight-wise...especially if you are a female.

I'm done with this and hopefully the next time I come to this thread the topic of discussion won't be about weight...

This is a fairly new issue for me and...idk maybe it's just me being sensitive.

[HomerMcvie]

You know, I will apologize, because my words were taken completely wrong. I meant no offense to anyone, in any way. I was just rambling, and trying to be funny. But it just failed to fly....what else can I say? I was posting about me fitting into a swimsuit next weekend, and it turned into THIS?

Georgie, I thought we were friends, and thought you knew that I almost always speak with a sense of humor ~intended~.

Niki, do you REALLY think that I "made up plans", so that I wouldn't have to answer. Wow. VERY lame. While you were once very understanding, with my dog's cancer, and I appreciate that still, I find you to be very judgmental. FWIW, I just got home, and am able to respond to "my supposed hiding".

Carrie, I have never had you on ignore. I ignore things that are bad for me, and you are definitely that. You're bad for me, and you're bad for the Ledge. At almost every Ledge plane crash that has ever happened, you've been right there....always the subliminal catalyst. That's your M.O. You've earned the Oscar in pot stirring. I would guess that you've always been on the precipice of permanent banning, but always slide, by 1%. Congrats. Well played. You are most definitely the master.

On that note, who needs this place? I did(or used to), and always wanted to maintain a presence here, since I DO care about quite a few people here, but I have no interest in this dog pack mentality, so have a good day! I'm not saying I'll never be back. Maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe a year..........whatever, it simply doesn't matter. I don't need this right now, and it's cake to delete it.
Take care.

PS- I love a lot of you people(and regret forgetting some, which I inevitably will do). David, Michelle, Maria, John, Jannie, Steve, Louie, Mary Anne, Suze, .........(5 seconds after posting, I will remember 3 more people). I hope....ho sh*t, most of us are FB friends, so......
Time for a break...

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

Ugh I don't even know how to start this in a reasonable manner. Like some of the others who've posted about the subject, I've also been through an eating disorder and even though now I've "turned around completely" and I love food I still have days where it's hard and I do still skip meals, I just make up for them otherwise. It never goes away.

Dave, I'm happy you lost weight and are comfortable in your own body, that really is a brilliant achievement and is something to be proud of, I just think there's much more sensitive ways of approaching the subject than "I'm skinny so now I get the hot babes. I didn't before" and therefore implying subconsciously that if you're overweight (or not even that, just not Barbie/Ken skinny) you don't get the "hotties". It seems like you've gone from one extreme to the other and that's frightening. I don't remember where you said it but I remember you saying how you sometimes don't eat and that it hurts but you take that as a good sign because you're fighting it. I've been there, done that and it nearly killed me.

I feel like I'm beginning to get confrontational now, see. I don't want to be making an example of you but it's becoming inevitable as I type, the Riot Grrrl in me is still a bit of an oncoming storm.

On the subject of thinspiration, Bee, you're completely right. They are no different. It's just foul that one human can dictate to another how to achievewhat they consider perfection. No one should be anyone's thinspiration.

My ex-girlfriend also went through it. She also nearly killed herself and she looks in the mirror every day and thinks she's fat. She's almost 6' and I think she weighs about 7 stone. Do the maths.

Seeing discussions about it that are supportive towards one another are brilliant because we can help eachother and provide a shoulder to lean on but making jokes and enforcing the belief that skinny=perfect, IMO is NOT ok and never ever will be. I wish some people would just think a bit more before they type.

AMEN. I can't really add anything to this.

I think most of us would be amazed at how many people have struggled with eating disorders. I had one for almost three years, and when I was really young.... 12-15. I'm now on the opposite side of the spectrum (emotional eater) but it's all the same-- people create emotional relationships with food in one way or another. For some people, it's to feign a sense of control over their lives. For others, it's a coping mechanism... the options are endless.

I don't know. I think this is just so, so much deeper than eating habits which is why people reacted so badly to HomerMcVie's posts.

Originally Posted by DefDumbandBlond

Words aren't the only thing that can cause/contribute to an eating disorder. I went through it, I didn't even think I was fat, nobody told me I was or thought I was fat, but as a dancer in a widely known group I felt like I needed to have the *perfect* body and years later I'm still feeling the effects of it. It never totally goes away, and hearing people talk about it like it's nothing and calling others 'sensitive' is utter sh*t.

Yeah, dancing was a huge part of how mine started up too. I was intensely into modeling and ballet which, as I'm sure you can guess, is an absolutely lethal combination for someone's self-confidence. I've always been tall and curvy; even if I weighed next to nothing, I'd have wide hips, etc... it's just how I'm built. However, that wasn't acceptable to the modeling industry OR the ballet world and people let me know it....




Anyway, I'm not even mad at Homer's comments simply because I don't take him remotely seriously. Sorry dude, but it's true. That being said, it DOES piss me off that young and/or insecure people on this board can read comments like that and think less of themselves.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

I really don't have anything to add other than this post is just beautiful & totally spot on.

Aw thx

[BTFLCHLD]

homie, what I REALLY think if your so-called humour is you don't know when to stop. Your humour should have led to an apology with the first offense to mezz and georgie. But instead you slapped your comments around in the mud making an even bigger mess. Youre a child in apparent need of some growing pains. And your curiousity on the BMI? Im thinking had you known what theirs was would have released thoughts of 'what a fatass'.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD

homie, what I REALLY think if your so-called humour is you don't know when to stop. Your humour should have led to an apology with the first offense to mezz and georgie. But instead you slapped your comments around in the mud making an even bigger mess. Youre a child in apparent need of some growing pains. And your curiousity on the BMI? Im thinking had you known what theirs was would have released thoughts of 'what a fatass'.

Wow. I just got here. Not going to add anything to the argument, since Dave will just accuse me of ganging up on him. But my God, this is ugly.

I will say that this thread is proof that most Ledgies don't just gang up & blindly defend their friends. When people think you're ignorant or f*cked up, they will (and should be able to!) tell you, whether they are your friend or not. 10 people who disagree with one person does not mean they're ganging up on that person or that they're a clique. It might mean - just maybe - that the 1 person is in the wrong. Just a thought. Entertain it. And kudos to those of you who stood up for what you think is right, and those who shared your stories.

And Dave - you talk about not wanting negativity. You judging people & looking down on them for being overweight? Not exactly positive & loving. It's pathetic that you need to compare your body to others' bodies, or to boast about how many drunk young barhags find you attractive, to feel good about yourself. If that's your measure of success, then you're right - WINNING!

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by skcin

Wow. I just got here. Not going to add anything to the argument, since Dave will just accuse me of ganging up on him. But my God, this is ugly.

I will say that this thread is proof that most Ledgies don't just gang up & blindly defend their friends. When people think you're ignorant or f*cked up, they will (and should be able to!) tell you, whether they are your friend or not. 10 people who disagree with one person does not mean they're ganging up on that person or that they're a clique. It might mean - just maybe - that the 1 person is in the wrong. Just a thought. Entertain it. And kudos to those of you who stood up for what you think is right, and those who shared your stories.

And Dave - you talk about not wanting negativity. You judging people & looking down on them for being overweight? Not exactly positive & loving. It's pathetic that you need to compare your body to others' bodies, or to boast about how many drunk young barhags find you attractive, to feel good about yourself. If that's your measure of success, then you're right - WINNING!

love this~

[GypsySorcerer]

I haven't checked this thread lately and am late to the party, as usual.

I personally have not had an eating disorder, but I have witnessed their effects on close friends/family. I'm also a teacher, and I see so many young women struggling with eating disorders and self-confidence.

I f*cking hate it that society/the media teaches young girls that the single most desirable quality they can have is beauty, and by extension, beauty via thinness. Warped, disgusting, and oppressive. We've still such a long way to go.

You ARE worthy. Just as you are.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by GypsySorcerer

I haven't checked this thread lately and am late to the party, as usual.

I personally have not had an eating disorder, but I have witnessed their effects on close friends/family. I'm also a teacher, and I see so many young women struggling with eating disorders and self-confidence.

I f*cking hate it that society/the media teaches young girls that the single most desirable quality they can have is beauty, and by extension, beauty via thinness. Warped, disgusting, and oppressive. We've still such a long way to go.

You ARE worthy. Just as you are.

What blows my mind is that it just keeps getting WORSE. So much so that people think that body snarking is okay. It isn't okay. You can tell yourself whatever you want to to justify it if you're doing it but that doesn't make it okay. There is nothing inherently ugly about body fat. It's our judgement of it that is ugly.

And girls it really is true, you are worthy just as you are. We're human and we all suffer. Getting skinny doesn't make you happy. That is a myth, part of the Big Lie created and perpetuated to sell us products. If you pick up a magazine you may likely feel ugly and fat and then buy beauty and weight loss products!

Our culture needs to stop putting profits before people. At the very least we really need to educate our girls and women that NOTHING they see in a magazine image is real. Nothing.

[BTFLCHLD]

[mylittledemon]

I've had this recurring dream over the past few weeks where my teeth are crumbling/rotting. Which is weird because... my teeth are perfectly healthy in... real life.