TMI thread. Discussion of sensitive ADULT issues/triggers. Enter with awareness!

[Dodfather]

I'm not commenting too much on the above post but I'm sure I can speak for all "nice guys" out there when I say there's nothing more annoying than seeing someone you really like with an a**hole boyfriend! If you then try and tell them how you feel you get called "sweet". Aaaghhh! Yeah, I'm nice but I aslo want to f*** you the best you'll ever get and be nice afterwards! Haha.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

You know that's not actually true though, right? In itself, being a nice guy makes no difference - it's incidental. You only have to look at all the a$$holes out there with nice girlfriends. Whatever the reason for your success, it's beyond being a good person or being respectful. One guy I know who beats the cr@p out of his girlfriend every so often would agree with me. Maybe it's his six-figure salary that tips the balance - that's what she says anyway. If you were ugly and poor, you could be as nice as you like - nothing comes back to you at all. Anytime I get anywhere, it has nothing to do with being nice. In fact it usually gets in the way.

I'm not 100% sure of the perfect combination. But 18 months ago, I was 100% INSECURE. Now, I've got game. I now believe in ME. And that comes through. Confidence is a turn on.

Want to know the funniest thing that changed? So as I first got game, I started dating these young ones, who.....well.....they (personally) had no future. I'm not trying to be mean. They were hot looking, but often had no job, or future. Now, I'm dating a 24yo PhD student, and had a 25yo law school student, ask me out on Monday. Somehow, I managed to step up the class of people I date(I hate saying that, because I don't care about money. But I do care about being with someone, who's self-sufficient. I wanna be their boyfriend, not their daddy). Again, I think confidence(not to be confused with cockiness) is everything.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by Dodfather

I'm not commenting too much on the above post but I'm sure I can speak for all "nice guys" out there when I say there's nothing more annoying than seeing someone you really like with an a**hole boyfriend! If you then try and tell them how you feel you get called "sweet". Aaaghhh! Yeah, I'm nice but I aslo want to f*** you the best you'll ever get and be nice afterwards! Haha.

I do agree, too, that being the "nice guy", scares them off. People like being treated like sh*t. And when you're a loving, giving person, that does tend to scare them off. I've had it happen, many times!


So my advice is to get straight to the booty! Because if you can make that happen, hopefully they can overlook the fact, that you're a nice guy!

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by Dodfather

By the way Homer - when are we gonna go for a beer?! If you're doing so well and can't handle them all then I may grab me some! Hehe...

Fly to Nashville, and we'll rip this town a new one! I'm here until Tuesday, putting my body through the Christine McVie regimen!
My daily Nashvegas regimen:
Sleep until noon
Run around town/shop, until
Happy Hour, for a couple of drinks
Nice restaurant
Hotel, for nap:30, then shower
Hit the clubs, and take in multitudes of music and alcohol
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lather, rinse, repeat!

What time can I pick you up at the airport?

[ButterCookie]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

putting my body through the Christine McVie regimen!

That's an amazing way of putting it I'm going out on the Christine tonight yay!

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

That's an amazing way of putting it I'm going out on the Christine tonight yay!

Thanks. And of course, you're only successful, if you're NEVER photographed, without a glass in your hand!

Even if you're drinking water, put it in a glass, and never put it down!

[camchristo]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I was 19.

And basically raped, even then.

Although at about age 6, the neighbors opened the garage door, to find me having their 6yo daughter, spread wide open, on the lawn tractor's hood.
Hey, it was the first one I'd ever seen, and I wanted a really good look!

I'm sorry David, but I find your use of the term rape to describe your encounter as offensive. She may have thrown herself at you but that's not rape.

First of all, if you were afraid of her, you had every opportunity to not give her a ride home. Or, at the very least, ditch her when she got out of your car to take a piss.

Second, I didn't see any reference to threats from her to you if you didn't have sex with her.

Third, if you were under force or duress, could you really have gotten it up, mounted her, and got off?

Believe me, I'm not some nazi feminist, but I don't think rape is a term to be thrown around lightly. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to deal with having been raped.

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I can't decide who to quote, you, or Dodfather. I don't necessarily know , which is true.....but I can tell you, that JUST BEING CONFIDENT, and believing in yourself(and btw, not being a hatefilled, bitter, c*nt), will get you everywhere, without even trying. I beat them off with a baseball bat, now. And I do nothing, other than being a nice guy.... What's different, from a couple of years ago? Just believing in myself. That's all it takes. It's not about anything else. Just be a good person, and be confident, and respectful, and it will all come back to you. Gawd, it took me a lifetime, to find out what it was all about! But again, just being confident, in that YOU'RE a good, loving, giving person, will shine through. Believe in yourself. Let yourself shine through. Oh yeah, and don't be a c*nt. Being a c*nt will make legions of people hate you(even if it's in hiding, because they fear your c*ntish wrath!). That's not a good thing to be. If I'm ever a c*nt, I pray that that fake god(lower case!), that I don't believe in, strikes me dead!
Your mileage may vary!

subtle. and clever. at least i was man enough to address you directly.

[BTFLCHLD]

and then there are those that derive confidence from blowing smoke up their own ass.

[Ledge Moderators]

Please refrain from all personal attacks, veiled or otherwise, or this thread will be locked and/or removed.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

[markolas]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

You know me so well! I've really thought about it in the past just to quell the curiosity. It's not that I have a hetero, ahem, BONE in my body... but when I become curious about something, I simply must have answers . I think I'm the only of my gay friends who never had sex with a woman in their youth, too. Which is so funny, considering how some of my buddies are giant queens .

I'm a gold star gay, and most of the gay guys I've known have been, too. I had a female roommate once that I probably would've had sex with had the opportunity presented itself, but now it's not something that I can see myself doing. Ever. Any curiosity I had has been well satisfied by watching porn.

[markolas]

19 is a late bloomer? I was 23. And I had never kissed anyone either. At times I wish it had been something more romantic than the online hook-up that it was.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by camchristo

I'm sorry David, but I find your use of the term rape to describe your encounter as offensive. She may have thrown herself at you but that's not rape.

First of all, if you were afraid of her, you had every opportunity to not give her a ride home. Or, at the very least, ditch her when she got out of your car to take a piss.

Second, I didn't see any reference to threats from her to you if you didn't have sex with her.

Third, if you were under force or duress, could you really have gotten it up, mounted her, and got off?

Believe me, I'm not some nazi feminist, but I don't think rape is a term to be thrown around lightly. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to deal with having been raped.

All I can say, Cammie, is that I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to drive. I didn't want to drive her home. I didn't want to be in that situation.
My cousin was as guilty as she was, of making this happen.
Know what? I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to be some pussy. I wasn't going to have her telling my GIGANTIC mouthed cousin, that I was too afraid to do it. My ego couldn't take that, and I couldn't let that happen. I also have a hard time telling people "no". I always have. It was a no win situation for me.

I hope you can see, that I went through with it, because I felt my reputation as a guy, depended on it. If it weren't with someone I knew, I absolutely would have said no. But I couldn't let myself be branded, as a pussy. Yeah, I care about what people think about me.

[LittleCharmer]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

All I can say, Cammie, is that I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to drive. I didn't want to drive her home. I didn't want to be in that situation.
My cousin was as guilty as she was, of making this happen.
Know what? I'm a guy. I'm not supposed to be some pussy. I wasn't going to have her telling my GIGANTIC mouthed cousin, that I was too afraid to do it. My ego couldn't take that, and I couldn't let that happen. I also have a hard time telling people "no". I always have. It was a no win situation for me.

I hope you can see, that I went through with it, because I felt my reputation as a guy, depended on it. If it weren't with someone I knew, I absolutely would have said no. But I couldn't let myself be branded, as a pussy. Yeah, I care about what people think about me.

Surely the only 'guilty' people with regards to your partaking of a mutually consensual sexual act are yourself and the person you're having sex with.
Your cousin may have goaded you into feeling you had to sleep with this girl, but you are an autonomous human being (presumably with adequate mental faculties ) and therefore your choices are your own. Especially considering you were apparently the one on top!
It's fair enough to regret losing your virginity if it was under less than perfect circumstances, but blaming somebody else for your own regrettable choice isn't the way to make yourself feel better about it and branding the act as 'rape' is, I agree, quite extreme and inconsiderate.

In other TMI news: My womanly organs are causing me a considerable amount of pain and I'm on the verge of punching the next person who ventures into my line of sight

[Dodfather]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Fly to Nashville, and we'll rip this town a new one! I'm here until Tuesday, putting my body through the Christine McVie regimen!
My daily Nashvegas regimen:
Sleep until noon
Run around town/shop, until
Happy Hour, for a couple of drinks
Nice restaurant
Hotel, for nap:30, then shower
Hit the clubs, and take in multitudes of music and alcohol
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Lather, rinse, repeat!

What time can I pick you up at the airport?

Awesome! Sounds like a great way to send a few days and believe me I'd be right on a plane if I could! There's always next time though. Who knows, I'm planning a trip to the US (just not decided where yet) sometime this year so... Oh, and if you're ever over here I have a couch!