Weight problems

[DavidMn]

So anyway, we're bombarded with messages about being thin and looking fabulous and all that jazz. Well, I'm not exactly sure which side of the fence I come down on there. On the one hand, I'm not exactly a small person at 6'4 275+, and believe me, being gay and big aint for the most part a formula for romantic success. Although in my case I've been with Derek for about 15 months now. We're both big guys and happy with each other, so I got lucky in that sense. But I do worry about my health and Derek's, especially since he smokes. As far as feeling forced to be thin to LOOK good, I dont feel that pressure at all. It's more of a health thing for me. I dont exactly wanna be dropping dead at 40 of a heart attack, so I've got to figure out a way to change my eating habits. Perhaps some of you could share stories about this if you so desire and feel comfortable doing so.

[David]

Weight is a crazy, crazy thing. It's unfortunate for those people for whom weight yoyos...bounced up & down with little rhyme or reason.

The one good thing about weight is: if you feel sharp pains in your abdomen for a period of several months & it shows no signs of abating, if your weight is staying constant there's a really good chance you don't have cancer.

EDIT: Oops, forgot to answer your question. Here's my advice for altering diet:

Eat as close as possible to the natural state of the food item.

In other words, don't buy a can of carrots. Buy CARROTS in the raw. Don't buy potato chips. Buy POTATOES in the raw. You don't necessarily have to eat the raw carrots & raw potatoes as is---you can cook them at home. But YOU do the cooking. Don't buy them canned or otherwise packaged. Don't buy breaded fish sticks in a TV dinner. Buy raw FISH. Take it home & cook it yourself. Do this with as much food as you can manage without driving yourself absolutely crazy. By cutting back sharply on processed food, you will drastically reduce calories, sodium & saturated fats & you will drastically increase fiber, "good" fats (omega-3, for example), vitamins, potassium, & dozens of other things you need.

Over time, your taste buds will change too. You will reach the point at which you throw your own raw vegetables into a pot of water & make your own soup & it will taste GOOD, & thus opening up a can of store-bought soup & trying to eat it will be like trying to eat a salt tablet. You will grow to dislike MANY processed foods if you avoid them.

Good luck, & Godspeed.

[tynan88]

My weight is deffinitely an issue, I yoyo a lot due to stress and other conditions around me and I hate it to be honest. Often when I am struck with a bout of depression I become fatigues and can't do anything so I put on weight and eat more.

I generally think the focus should be less on being thin and more about being healthy because that is what counts both physically and spiritually. I mean many of those twigs in Hollywood are hardly what you could call healthy by any standards.

[DavidMn]

Originally Posted by tynan88

My weight is deffinitely an issue, I yoyo a lot due to stress and other conditions around me and I hate it to be honest. Often when I am struck with a bout of depression I become fatigues and can't do anything so I put on weight and eat more.

I generally think the focus should be less on being thin and more about being healthy because that is what counts both physically and spiritually. I mean many of those twigs in Hollywood are hardly what you could call healthy by any standards.

Oh I know what you mean about depression and eating. That's a big reason I'm the way I am. Although now I'm on a good med, Selexa, that doesnt have too much of a weight side affect. But I'm not trying to blame McDonalds or anyone else for how much I weigh cause Ronald McDonald didnt shove that Big Mac in my mouth....

[markolas]

I'm only 5'5", so I can't really handle a lot of weight. I'm at 170 right now, which is at least 20 (and probably closer to 50) pounds more than where I should be. My waterloo is fast food burgers & fries. Those are my comfort foods, and anytime I experience any stress or emotional upset, I tend to find myself at the McDonald's or Wendy's drive-thru before I know what happened.

I'm attempting to stop with the fast food, but it's hard since I don't cook. It's either McDonald's or Lean Cuisine for me. And Lean Cuisine is okay, but I don't have to get out of my car for McDonald's.

[DavidMn]

Originally Posted by markolas

I'm only 5'5", so I can't really handle a lot of weight. I'm at 170 right now, which is at least 20 (and probably closer to 50) pounds more than where I should be. My waterloo is fast food burgers & fries. Those are my comfort foods, and anytime I experience any stress or emotional upset, I tend to find myself at the McDonald's or Wendy's drive-thru before I know what happened.

I'm attempting to stop with the fast food, but it's hard since I don't cook. It's either McDonald's or Lean Cuisine for me. And Lean Cuisine is okay, but I don't have to get out of my car for McDonald's.

mm A FISH sandwich sounds good right about now..

[goldie]

Originally Posted by David

Eat as close as possible to the natural state of the food item.

Great info, David. I TRY TRY TRY to do this. It's so hard! Or what I mean is, it's so much easier to open a bag of chips than peel a potato!

I do this not because of any weight issues, but just because I want to eat natural, unprocessed foods.

I do eat baby carrots every day, though. And my puppy gets a lot of those, too. She loves them.

DavidMn - best advice is moderation and exercise........exercise with a partners to stay motivated.... People say this all the time, but it really is true and the best way to do it.

[DavidMn]

Originally Posted by David

Weight is a crazy, crazy thing. It's unfortunate for those people for whom weight yoyos...bounced up & down with little rhyme or reason.

The one good thing about weight is: if you feel sharp pains in your abdomen for a period of several months & it shows no signs of abating, if your weight is staying constant there's a really good chance you don't have cancer.

EDIT: Oops, forgot to answer your question. Here's my advice for altering diet:

Eat as close as possible to the natural state of the food item.

In other words, don't buy a can of carrots. Buy CARROTS in the raw. Don't buy potato chips. Buy POTATOES in the raw. You don't necessarily have to eat the raw carrots & raw potatoes as is---you can cook them at home. But YOU do the cooking. Don't buy them canned or otherwise packaged. Don't buy breaded fish sticks in a TV dinner. Buy raw FISH. Take it home & cook it yourself. Do this with as much food as you can manage without driving yourself absolutely crazy. By cutting back sharply on processed food, you will drastically reduce calories, sodium & saturated fats & you will drastically increase fiber, "good" fats (omega-3, for example), vitamins, potassium, & dozens of other things you need.

Over time, your taste buds will change too. You will reach the point at which you throw your own raw vegetables into a pot of water & make your own soup & it will taste GOOD, & thus opening up a can of store-bought soup & trying to eat it will be like trying to eat a salt tablet. You will grow to dislike MANY processed foods if you avoid them.

Good luck, & Godspeed.

Thanks man, I appriciate the advice, I really do.

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

Originally Posted by DavidMn

So anyway, we're bombarded with messages about being thin and looking fabulous and all that jazz. Well, I'm not exactly sure which side of the fence I come down on there. On the one hand, I'm not exactly a small person at 6'4 275+, and believe me, being gay and big aint for the most part a formula for romantic success. Although in my case I've been with Derek for about 15 months now. We're both big guys and happy with each other, so I got lucky in that sense. But I do worry about my health and Derek's, especially since he smokes. As far as feeling forced to be thin to LOOK good, I dont feel that pressure at all. It's more of a health thing for me. I dont exactly wanna be dropping dead at 40 of a heart attack, so I've got to figure out a way to change my eating habits. Perhaps some of you could share stories about this if you so desire and feel comfortable doing so.

I've struggled with my weight for most of my adult life. In 2002 I weighed 247lbs which was the heaviest I've ever been. I actually took pretty drastic steps and went on a liquid diet and got down to 147lbs and now just try to stick to healthy eating as much as I can. I still do pig out from time to time though but can't let myself relax about it too much

Pip

[paleshadow]

Originally Posted by DavidMn

So anyway, we're bombarded with messages about being thin and looking fabulous and all that jazz. Well, I'm not exactly sure which side of the fence I come down on there. On the one hand, I'm not exactly a small person at 6'4 275+, and believe me, being gay and big aint for the most part a formula for romantic success. Although in my case I've been with Derek for about 15 months now. We're both big guys and happy with each other, so I got lucky in that sense. But I do worry about my health and Derek's, especially since he smokes. As far as feeling forced to be thin to LOOK good, I dont feel that pressure at all. It's more of a health thing for me. I dont exactly wanna be dropping dead at 40 of a heart attack, so I've got to figure out a way to change my eating habits. Perhaps some of you could share stories about this if you so desire and feel comfortable doing so.

Hey David. I've been heavy my whole life. I've tried diets, and cutting out every food considered "fattening" but the only thing that ever worked for me was regular exercise. I started going to the gym 3 days a week and had a regular routine that became second nature. I lost 40 pounds in 3 months, and I still ate all the foods I loved. I didn't eat as much because my stomach had gotten smaller, but I didn't struggle with a diet because I didn't give anything up. Oh, and I drank a ton of water. At one point I was losing about 5 pounds a week. Then I started to get lazy again and stoped going to the gym. I was still losing a few pounds a week because my metabolism was on full blast, but that quickly changed and since then I put the weight back on. I'm starting back at the gym this week. I really believe excercise is the only way to do it. It's good to eat healthy foods too of course, but I have found if you deny yourself specific "bad" foods that you love, you'll only end up eating a lot of something else, or binging on them eventually. Just stay positive and take it one day at a time. Good luck!

[jannieC]

I have never had an issue with weight- I am 5'7" and weigh usually around 130 lbs. However, now that I've stopped smoking (3 weeks and one day, in case you're curious) I am eating SO much more and I know I'm gaining weight (I refuse to find out by stepping on a scale, though). Obviously since my original weight is 130, I'm not worried about getting fat, but I am worried about being uncomfortable and my clothes not fitting, etc.

I really want to exercise but at the same time, I loathe the idea of physical activity. I've tried i in spurts, but I guess never long enough to see any results. Despite my size, I am in horrible physical shape and I want to be healthy. I guess once I get over cigarettes and nicotine withdrawal (yes, at this late date I am still experiencing withdrawal), I'll try to get motivated to work out.

Does anyone here work out now but HATED it at one time? If so, how long did it take for you to like to exercise?

[JazmenFlowers]

I almost started a thread like this earlier. My new year's resolution was to get back to the size I used to be when I started working at my present job about 4 years ago...which was a waist size of about 32-33. I am 5'7 and I'd say medium/average frame. What David has posted is so true and great advice. Nothing works better than watching your diet and portion and exercising. Since January 4 or so I've lost 10 pounds and notice a difference in my cloths already. I'm with the others that I don't really go by the scale, it's nice to see a number that represents your progression, but I judge by how my clothes fit and how I look. This is kind of what I do:

- drink at least 8 8oz glasses of water, no sodas at all (and I'm a big Diet Coke fan). If I want to spice it up I add a Crystal Light (Raspberry Ice is my fav) to the water or drink unsweet tea with Splenda.

- usually eat 1 packet of oatmeal or grits for breakfast, a salad (that has chicken or turkey in it) for lunch, an apple with fat free caramel sauce or a rice cake with peanut butter for a snack and chicken breast with brown rice, salad or soup for dinner. I don't really snack in between meals unless I'm feeling starved (which is usually around 3 pm and 9 pm). I keep myself busy...the more I do the less I have time to sit around and think about eating. Like David said, watch not only fat and calories but sodium and sugar. If you've ever done SomerSize you know how evil sugar is. My "off" day is usually Sunday. I don't overdo it though. No fast food...I can't stress enough how much of a difference this can make (and you'll save money too). If I have to eat at a fast food restaurant, I will get chicken nuggets and a salad or a big salad. I went 2 years without ever eating fast food before and I know if I can do it, anyone can cause I love me some quarter pounders.

- take a multivitamin

- I exercise 5-6 times a week. I do 30-45 mins on the treadmill, alternating the incline and speed. If I'm not feeling like cardio one day, I'll do yoga or some tone and sculpting. I almost always do strength training on Saturdays. I typically do 10 mins of weights every other day after the treadmill, I just want to tone up my arms a little and my shoulders. Crunches, I hate them, and I'm not even thinking about them right now, you have to be under 10% body fat to even show a six pack so why bother right now. Don't be discouraged if you start out at 2.0 speed or whatever...you're moving and before you know it, you'll be at 3.5 or 4.0.

- a personal trainer once told me it's not always a bad thing to be a little hungry while you are trying to lose weight...as you work on it, your stomach will become smaller and you'll want less and not have the hunger feelings as much and it's true...as long as you are eating (you must eat, don't starve) and eating well-balanced meals in the right portions, you're body will adapt. don't take stomach growls to mean you necessarily need to eat. remember that what food does is give you energy and nourish your body. give it what it needs. protein and vegetables with some carbs is kind of how I look at my meals. I try to keep fruits at a minimum because of the sugar.

You have to give all of this at least a month or two to really see some major results. Stick with it. I'm damned if I'm gonna let myself go and feel gross anymore.

Remember, nothing tastes as good as thin feels!!!

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by JazmenFlowers

. . . Remember, nothing tastes as good as thin feels!!!

You've obviously never had my pot roast

[JazmenFlowers]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You've obviously never had my pot roast

lol. I love a slow-cooked pot roast.

[sparky]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Does anyone here work out now but HATED it at one time? If so, how long did it take for you to like to exercise?

I did hate it for awhile. Until I found things to do that I really like. I hate stationary bikes. I did those things for YEARS. Now I ride on the road, which I love. I do not like weight machines, but mostly did those for a loooong time. Now I use almost exclusively free weights. It takes more concentration, and I can watch myself in the mirror for correct form. Most of all, I found that I love swimming. It took me a bit to get to this point. Swimming is not easy. At first, I could only do two laps without resting, but I slowly worked my way up, and now I do 20 with no rest, and I alternate sets of sprinting every other lap. The pay off ? There is no feeling like the rush of exhaustion and adrenaline I get from swimming. Running never did it, biking doesn't do it. I swim a mile or more and I leave that pool feeling full of energy and on top of the world. I am sure it is addiction of some kind.
Keep trying things. I worked out for over 10 years (20 to about 33 or so) and hated it most of the time. Now I love it.