What Kind of Singer Are You?

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by dissention

Ah, but it's written into my contract that I have final say over which shots are used in the editing room, so it wouldn't be a problem.

And my trailer must be at least a foot longer than anyone else's, beeyotch.

Like Swanson - my idol - I had them build me a bungalow with a gym and a pool and the locations are all built around my bungalow and my schedule (I never work before noon or after four in the afternoon) - so you go ahead and be doublewide in your double long

[dissention]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Like Swanson - my idol - I had them build me a bungalow with a gym and a pool and the locations are all built around my bungalow and my schedule (I never work before noon or after four in the afternoon) - so you go ahead and be doublewide in your double long

I make it a chore to piss in your pool water every morning, so enjoy it while I enjoy the sanitation of my double wide.

Could you imagine the headlines in Variety?

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by dissention

I'm a whore for attention. I'm as bombastic and flamboyant as Ethel Merman on a binge.

I don't want attention, But yet I always end up with it (Usually not by choice!)...Maybe it's because I have been described as being as somewhat of an arrogant person.

Brian j.

[amber]

Originally Posted by dissention

I'm a whore for attention. I'm as bombastic and flamboyant as Ethel Merman on a binge.

Ah, well then i must ask...Are you ok?
Naw, i love attention, but i try not to be too obnoxious about it. You know, save it for the performance and all that? In real life, i usually make jokes rather than bursting into song and dance, that way, everybody can participate, instead of everyone having to watch you. Cause i know i don't like sitting there watching people forever, as they finish they're monologue, or their song, or dance, or whatever energy stealing ploy they're using right then....
But, maybe i'm lucky, people have been watching me all my life, also cause i was in so many sports, in addition to performing. so maybe i actually got most of my fill...

[dissention]

Originally Posted by amber

Ah, well then i must ask...Are you ok?
Naw, i love attention, but i try not to be too obnoxious about it. You know, save it for the performance and all that? In real life, i usually make jokes rather than bursting into song and dance, that way, everybody can participate, instead of everyone having to watch you. Cause i know i don't like sitting there watching people forever, as they finish they're monologue, or their song, or dance, or whatever energy stealing ploy they're using right then....
But, maybe i'm lucky, people have been watching me all my life, also cause i was in so many sports, in addition to performing. so maybe i actually got most of my fill...

Our marriage would last shorter than Merman's marriage to Borgnine.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by dissention

I make it a chore to piss in your pool water every morning, so enjoy it while I enjoy the sanitation of my double wide.

Could you imagine the headlines in Variety?

You are not allowed ANYWHERE near me or on my property - the contract says shoot to kill MOREOVER - you are not allowed to address me directly - and I never read lines EVER!!!! - you can read to the post, which has more talent than you - so take lessons

[amber]

Originally Posted by dissention

Our marriage would last shorter than Merman's marriage to Borgnine.

Well, you can't marry someone who wants as much attention as you do. There are flowers, and there are gardeners...
Um, can't you at least compare us to a more attractive theoretically married couple? Geesh!

[dissention]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You are not allowed ANYWHERE near me or on my property - the contract says shoot to kill MOREOVER - you are not allowed to address me directly - and I never read lines EVER!!!! - you can read to the post, which has more talent than you - so take lessons

According to my contract, we don't have scenes together, we use stand-ins. And I get $20 million plus 5% of the back-end profits, compared to your piddly $5 million with no bonuses.

And since I'm having a torrid affair with the director, I frequently get him to cut more and more of your lines out of the script. At the premiere, it's noted by the audience that you only have 27 minute sonscreen, while I have 92. When asked by an inquisitive reporter about you and your presence, I can be over heard exclaiming "I wouldn't sit on his toilet."

[amber]

Originally Posted by dissention

Our marriage would last shorter than Merman's marriage to Borgnine.

Yeah, cause i don't have to try as hard to get my attention. You'd be soooo frustrated....

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by dissention

According to my contract, we don't have scenes together, we use stand-ins. And I get $20 million plus 5% of the back-end profits, compared to your piddly $5 million with no bonuses.

And since I'm having a torrid affair with the director, I frequently get him to cut more and more of your lines out of the script. At the premiere, it's noted by the audience that you only have 27 minute sonscreen, while I have 92. When asked by an inquisitive reporter about you and your presence, I can be over heard exclaiming "I wouldn't sit on his toilet."

Too bad for you my father is Aaron Spelling, who owns the studio where you will NEVER work again, and I have just contracted you to marry my sister Tori See where THAT gets ya

Also, I was nominated for the Oscar for a lead performance for my 27 - while you and your triple footage got a supporting nod from the Peoples' Choice Awards

[amber]

You guys are totally stage actors, i don't know what your talking about with your trailers, and pools...

[dissention]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Too bad for you my father is Aaron Spelling, who owns the studio where you will NEVER work again, and I have just contracted you to marry my sister Tori See where THAT gets ya

It got me pretty far, actually, considering that I weaseled my way out of signing a prenup and Tori's looseness came in handy during divorce proceedings.

And I am far too popular and in-demand with the big studios to make ****ty nighttime soaps for Spelling Entertainment. But you might as well make the best of your ****ty career as Poolboy #4 on the sixth episode of "Hootchie Nights."

[dissention]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Also, I was nominated for the Oscar for a lead performance for my 27 - while you and your triple footage got a supporting nod from the Peoples' Choice Awards

Ha, I'll show you a pair of Golden Globes, pal.

A nomination and no win? Did Babe the pig beat you again?

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by amber

You guys are totally stage actors, i don't know what your talking about with your trailers, and pools...

Hello - I am talking about our BROADWAY performance of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf" - I, of course, am playing Martha "She was a housewife - she bought things!!!!!"

Of course to let Diss. have the line "All I said was that our son, the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops, our son is a beanbag, and you get testy!"

Here are some more:

Memorable Quotes from
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
Martha: I swear to GOD George, if you even EXISTED I'd divorce you.

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Honey: I dance like the wind.

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Martha: Look, sweetheart, I can drink you under any goddamn table you want, so don't worry about me.

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Honey: Oh, I don't know, a little brandy maybe. "Never mix, never worry!"
George: Martha? Rubbing alcohol for you?
Martha: Sure! "Never mix, never worry!"

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[Martha has changed into an embarrassingly tight and revealing outfit]
George: Why Martha! Your Sunday chapel dress!

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Martha: I hope that was an empty bottle, George! You can't afford to waste good liquor, not on YOUR salary!

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George: All I said was that our son, the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops, our son is a beanbag, and you get testy!

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Honey: They dance like they've danced before.
George: It's a familiar dance, monkey nipples, they both know it.

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Martha: You make me puke.
George: That wasn't a very nice thing to say, Martha.

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George: Martha, in my mind you're buried in cement right up to the neck. No, up to the nose, it's much quieter.

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Nick: To you, everybody's a flop. Your husband's a flop, I'm a flop.
Martha: You're all flops. I am the Earth Mother, and you are all flops.

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Nick: I'm tired, I've been drinking since nine o'clock, my wife is vomiting, there's been a lot of screaming going on around here!

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George: So you get testy, naturally, don't worry about it! Anybody who comes here ends up getting testy, it's expected. Don't be upset.
Nick: I'm not upset.
George: You're testy.
Nick: Yes.

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George: Martha is 108... years old. She weighs somewhat more than that.

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Nick: Who did the painting?
George: Some Greek with a moustache that Martha attacked one night.

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George: Martha, will you show her where we keep the, uh, euphemism?

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George: Vanish!

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Martha: I disgust me. You know, there's only been one man in my whole life who's ever made me happy. Do you know that?
[pause]
Martha: George, my husband... George, who is out somewhere there in the dark, who is good to me - whom I revile, who can keep learning the games we play as quickly as I can change them. Who can make me happy and I do not wish to be happy. Yes, I do wish to be happy. George and Martha: Sad, sad, sad. Whom I will not forgive for having come to rest; for having seen me and having said: yes, this will do.

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George: You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realize that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to the point where there is something to lose. Then, all at once, through all the music, through all the sensible sounds of men building, attempting, comes the Dies Irae. And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? Up yours.

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George: I'm very impressed.
Martha: You're damn right.
George: I said I was impressed. I'm beside myself with jealousy. What do you want me to do, throw up?

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Martha: [derogatorily, to George] Hey, swamp! Hey swampy!
George: Yes, Martha? Can I get you something?
Martha: Ah, well, sure. You can, um, light my cigarette, if you're of a mind to.
George: No. There are limits. I mean, a man can put up with only so much without he descends a rung or two on the old evolutionary ladder, which is up your line. Now, I will hold your hand when it's dark and you're afraid of the boogeyman and I will tote your gin bottles out after midnight so no one can see but I will not light your cigarette. And that, as they say, is that.
Martha: Jesus.

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Nick: [to Honey] We'll go in a little while.
George: Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being accorded an honor, and you mustn't forget that Martha is the daughter of our beloved boss. She is his right... arm. I was going to use another word, but we'll leave that sort of talk to Martha.

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[George takes a corner far too fast, tossing everyone in the car from side to side. Pause]
Martha: Aren't you going to apologize?
George: Not my fault, the road should've been straight.
Martha: No, aren't you going to apologize for making Honey throw up?
George: I didn't make her throw up.
Martha: What, you think it was handsome there? You think he made his own wife throw up?
George: Well, you make me throw up.
Martha: That's different.

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Martha: Hey!
George: Hark! Jungle sounds.
Martha: Hey!
George: Animal noises.

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George: You're a monster - You are.
Martha: I'm loud and I'm vulgar, and I wear the pants in the house because somebody's got to, but I am not a monster. I'm not.
George: You're a spoiled, self-indulgent, willful, dirty-minded, liquor-ridden...
Martha: SNAP! It went SNAP! I'm not gonna try to get through to you any more. There was a second back there, yeah, there was a second, just a second when I could have gotten through to you, when maybe we could have cut through all this, this CRAP. But it's past, and I'm not gonna try.

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Martha: I looked at you tonight and you weren't there... And I'm gonna howl it out, and I'm not gonna give a damn what I do and I'm gonna make the biggest god-damn explosion you've ever heard.
George: Try and I'll beat you at your own game.
Martha: Is that a threat George, huh?
George: It's a threat, Martha.
Martha: You're gonna get it, baby.
George: Be careful Martha. I'll rip you to pieces.
Martha: You're not man enough. You haven't the guts.
George: Total war.
Martha: Total.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061184/quotes

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by dissention

Ha, I'll show you a pair of Golden Globes, pal.

A nomination and no win? Did Babe the pig beat you again?

No, it was some CHILD "star" - peasant - he'll never work in this town again