Terri Schiavo: Please explain something to me...

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You hate them because they are pro life - that is not that hard to figure out

Again, if it were my child and her husband wanted to put her down and I thought, no matter how misguided I was, that she still had a chance or even if I did not want her to die though in a PVS, I would do everything possible to stop that from happening. That is what they are doing, as unfortunate and distasteful to me as their allies are - remember these vultures are preying on these people in their weakest moment. Thus, I feel for her parents though they are pro life, speak at pro life pow wow's, etc. I mean from their point of view, all they and we have in the end is Mr. Schiavo's word that Mrs. Schiavo wanted to not to be kept alive in a PVS. Though legally sufficient, that would be a hard pill for any parent to swallow - who wants to let their child go?

I don't know what I would do if I were in their position but I hope that I would have the strength to let go. It must be hard to find but I'm sure that's what many people say when they look at her parents--I hope that I would be able to let her go.

But I agree with Mary's critcisms of them. I thought it was ridiculous how they encouraged Michael to go on with his life and then later condemned him for making that choice.

[strandinthewind]

To be fair and in a nutshell, I believe they urged him to get on with his life and said they would take care of their daughter - they did not say get on with your life and kill what is left of our daughter That is a different situation altogether. I am not saying they or even Mr. Schiavo have behaved very well, I am just saying the parents must be in a hard position and the vutures in the world have preyed on that.

[GateandGarden]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

To be fair and in a nutshell, I believe they urged him to get on with his life and said they would take care of their daughter - they did not say get on with your life and kill what is left of our daughter That is a different situation altogether. I am not saying they or even Mr. Schiavo have behaved very well, I am just saying the parents must be in a hard position and the vutures in the world have preyed on that.

Yeah, I guess it was more like "Move on with your life and stay out of hers while you're at it."

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You hate them because they are pro life - that is not that hard to figure out

Again, if it were my child and her husband wanted to put her down and I thought, no matter how misguided I was, that she still had a chance or even if I did not want her to die though in a PVS, I would do everything possible to stop that from happening. That is what they are doing, as unfortunate and distasteful to me as their allies are - remember these vultures are preying on these people in their weakest moment. Thus, I feel for her parents though they are pro life, speak at pro life pow wow's, etc. I mean from their point of view, all they and we have in the end is Mr. Schiavo's word that Mrs. Schiavo wanted to not to be kept alive in a PVS. Though legally sufficient, that would be a hard pill for any parent to swallow - who wants to let their child go?

Wrong again, counselor I dont HATE them, I said I dont RESPECT them. They lost all credibility for me when they aligned themselves with the pro-life wackos. (by the way, you are right about the pro-life fanatics taking advantage of their vulnerability, I think that is heinous) I think it is disgusting, too, to have the PRESIDENT and Congress involved...Also: The fact that the in-laws had no problem with Michael until he refused to pay them from his settlement shows me there is more than one agenda here. As I said before, I can understand a parent wanting to keep their child alive, but at some point (say 15 YEARS?????) you have to ACCEPT that the medical community KNOWS what it is talking about and that no matter how much they wish it were otherwise, their daughter is beyond any hope of recovery, and continued denial of the truth only prolongs the inevitable.

Bringing up new issues now (like the alleged "time lag" between the collapse and the 911 call) makes me wonder why this very thing wasnt brought up in any of the Court battles? They are showing their true colors in their ongoing effort to smear their son-in-law who has yet to be shown guilty of ANYTHING. No, I certainly DONT respect them, and the more venom they spew, I find it harder and harder to sympathize with them.....

You keep misinterpreting me even tho I think I am crystal clear

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

Wrong again, counselor I dont HATE them, I said I dont RESPECT them. They lost all credibility for me when they aligned themselves with the pro-life wackos. (by the way, you are right about the pro-life fanatics taking advantage of their vulnerability, I think that is heinous) I think it is disgusting, too, to have the PRESIDENT and Congress involved...Also: The fact that the in-laws had no problem with Michael until he refused to pay them from his settlement shows me there is more than one agenda here. As I said before, I can understand a parent wanting to keep their child alive, but at some point (say 15 YEARS?????) you have to ACCEPT that the medical community KNOWS what it is talking about and that no matter how much they wish it were otherwise, their daughter is beyond any hope of recovery, and continued denial of the truth only prolongs the inevitable.

Bringing up new issues now (like the alleged "time lag" between the collapse and the 911 call) makes me wonder why this very thing wasnt brought up in any of the Court battles? They are showing their true colors in their ongoing effort to smear their son-in-law who has yet to be shown guilty of ANYTHING. No, I certainly DONT respect them, and the more venom they spew, I find it harder and harder to sympathize with them.....

You keep misinterpreting me even tho I think I am crystal clear

The parents never accepted that their daughter wanted not to live like that and there is little proof she actually said that. So to say that after 15 years the parents should accept that on faith and then go along with killing what was left of her is unfair because it puts your notion of what they should do on them I mean if you go by that, then all people in PVS should be killed after 15 or so years regardless of intent.

Also, they did not believe Mr. Schiavo when he said conveniently years after the fact that after all of his trying to help his wife, he essentially suddenly remembered a conversation they had about this topic I mean isn't it odd that he never once mentioned it for years I get that he was trying to help his wife all along, but the timing is a little suspicious.

Finally, the articles indicate the discepency in the time was first noted in , I think, 2003, when this was at the appellate level and all facts were found.

[irishgrl]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

The parents never accepted that their daughter wanted not to live like that and there is little proof she actually said that. So to say that after 15 years the parents should accept that on faith and then go along with killing what was left of her is unfair because it puts your notion of what they should do on them I mean if you go by that, then all people in PVS should be killed after 15 or so years regardless of intent.

Also, they did not believe Mr. Schiavo when he said conveniently years after the fact that after all of his trying to help his wife, he essentially suddenly remembered a conversation they had about this topic I mean isn't it odd that he never once mentioned it for years I get that he was trying to help his wife all along, but the timing is a little suspicious.

Finally, the articles indicate the discepency in the time was first noted in , I think, 2003, when this was at the appellate level and all facts were found.

AGAIN you misunderstand me! I SAID that after 15 years the parents should accept the MEDICAL PROGNOSIS that the daughter was BEYOND any help from therapy As for when Michael allegedly brought it up, I have read nothing to indicate that he "conveniently" remembered years later, it was MY understanding that he maintained it right along and that it only became an issue when various treatments/therapies and tests showed that Terri was indeed in a PVS. There's no need to discuss it untill its OBVIOUS that it is in fact the case.....surely even you can see that? I mean, you dont start talking PVS right at the beginning, that would be premature.......

as for the time lag, if it was mentioned in 2003, Im assuming that the appellate court found no merit in it because that particular horse never ran.
its time those folks woke up and smelled the coffee for cripes sake.

as for what anyone in a PVS should do, that depends upon the stated preference of the patient, and/or the family members upon whom the decision falls. But I DO think there comes a threshold where hope/faith must reconcile with reality. At some point, you have to accept God's will. If he/she chooses to intervene with a miracle, praise be! if not, it wasnt meant to be.

[GODDESS6]

terri was finally laid to rest the news said this morning~ wow this has been so sad~ again i know you are resting in peace terri~

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by GODDESS6

terri was finally laid to rest the news said this morning~ wow this has been so sad~ again i know you are resting in peace terri~

yep - and now we have this:

Husband Buries Terri Schiavo's Remains

Monday, June 20, 2005



TAMPA, Fla. — Terri Schiavo's (search) husband buried her cremated remains Monday, inscribing on her bronze grave marker "I kept my promise."

The inscription inflamed Schiavo's parents, who had waged a long legal battle to keep their severely brain-damaged daughter alive. They also complained that they had not been notified about the service beforehand.

Michael Schiavo (search) — who said he promised his wife he would not keep her alive artificially — also listed on the bronze grave marker Feb. 25, 1990, as the date his wife "Departed this Earth."

On that date, Schiavo collapsed and fell into what most doctors said was an irreversible vegetative state.

Schiavo actually died March 31, nearly two weeks after her feeding tube was removed by court order. The grave marker lists that date as when Schiavo was "at peace."

David Gibbs, an attorney for the woman's parents, Bob and Mary Schindler (search), decried the inscriptions on the marker.

"Obviously, that's a real shot and another unkind act toward a grieving mom and dad," Gibbs said.

Two days after Terri Schiavo's death, the 41-year-old was cremated and her husband was given possession of her remains.

Michael Schiavo had said her ashes would be buried at a family plot in Pennsylvania. But on Monday his attorney, George Felos, said in a statement that the service and burial had taken place at Sylvan Abbey Memorial Park in Clearwater.

The statement did not explain why Schiavo, who lives near Clearwater, decided to keep his wife's remains in Florida. He did not return a phone call seeking additional information.

Schiavo's parents had opposed her cremation and hoped to bury her in their adopted state of Florida. Services for Schiavo already had been conducted in nearby Gulfport, where her parents live, and in Pennsylvania, where she grew up.

The Schindlers' attorney said the family was notified by fax only after Monday's service, when the family had already started getting calls from reporters.

Felos' statement said the Schindlers were notified of the service and burial.

A pond and fountain also mark the woman's grave, where the flat bronze marker was festooned with flowers Monday evening.

Terri Schiavo collapsed in 1990 after a chemical imbalance caused her heart to stop. She left no written instructions in the event she became disabled, and her husband said she never would have wanted to be kept alive in what court-appointed doctors called a persistent vegetative state with no hope of recovery.

Her parents, however, doubted she had any such end-of-life wishes. They maintained she would benefit from rehabilitation, despite most doctors saying her condition was irreversible.

The seven-year battle engulfed the courts, Congress, the White House and divided the country.

[Mad4stevie]

Good lord, why was it appropriate to do this:

Michael Schiavo (search) — who said he promised his wife he would not keep her alive artificially — also listed on the bronze grave marker Feb. 25, 1990, as the date his wife "Departed this Earth."

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Mad4stevie

Good lord, why was it appropriate to do this:

Michael Schiavo (search) — who said he promised his wife he would not keep her alive artificially — also listed on the bronze grave marker Feb. 25, 1990, as the date his wife "Departed this Earth."

I have to say it was inappropriate - IMO to use her grave as an IMO undisguised screw you to her family, though they probably deserve such, is just tacky. But, at least he kept her remains in Florida where they live.

[Mari]

that's pretty weird to read. February 25 is the day my sister died. 1994 though, not 1990.
I don't know. I can understand that that's what it feels like for the husband, that she actually died that day already. For me personally, the day when my sister ended up in hospital a week before she died, is just as heavy and important a day as the day she finally died, because she was already 'gone' then.
I can understand those parents not wanting to give their daughter up.. but for 15 years? That's denying the truth, I think.
But different people deal with such situations in different ways, you can never predict what it will feel like for you when you end up in that situation with that choice.
And that grave-text.. that's not exactly thoughtful to her parents, no.

[irishgrl]

While I wonder about the death dates bit, I think the part "I kept my promise" is ok.....Nothing he does will set well with her parents anyway so.......

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by irishgrl

While I wonder about the death dates bit, I think the part "I kept my promise" is ok.....Nothing he does will set well with her parents anyway so.......

I guess it is a personal thing, but I would have put the standard lang. and left it at that, which I think would be taking the higher road. But, to each their own

[Mad4stevie]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

I guess it is a personal thing, but I would have put the standard lang. and left it at that, which I think would be taking the higher road. But, to each their own

I agree with you.

To put the 1990 date in there is just as much denying the "truth" of the situation as what the parents do when they say she could communicate with them.

[Mari]

Yeah, I guess you're right..
although... heard on dutch tv from experts that you couldn't really say she was 'alive' the past years though, you'd better describe that situation as 'postponed death'.