Stevie planned to adopt?

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by BrownEyedGirl26

If she had children in her life to love then they would love her and she might not of needed the drugs! Just a thought!

Yeah, that's not the way addiction works. My Mom cleaned up her act to a degree after she gave birth to me: she left my abusive father. But she kept doing cocaine for another 10 years. Nowadays she's a prescription drug addict. There is no logic when it comes to addicts, except the fact that their affliction is a disease. A disease that can't be treated by things that would make other folks straighten up their act (such as having children).

The thing about addicts is, they always have these grand, beautiful plans that never get accomplished. Stevie wanted to make a Rhiannon movie. She wanted to make a Goldfish & Ladybug cartoon. She wanted to write a book. She's been talking about all of these things since the late 1970s. Coming from a family of addicts, I can tell you- none of these things are going to happen. Just like her adopting never happened. I truly think most addicts have well meaning intentions- but they just have no capability when it comes to following through.

[fringed n fab]

Originally Posted by TwistedGypsy

That makes me so sad. I wish she could have had a child but she knows that she was in no shape to do such a thing. I respect her so much when I read this quote.
"I never wanted to be a half-musician or a half-ass mother..." because so many stars and "real" people want to have their cake and eat it to. Example Britney Spears. Children aren't just accessories and Stevie has enough common sense to know what it takes to actually raise a child properly.

I really think that's the case. She was too wrapped up in her career to be a mom or wife and just stayed busy doing what she loved. A rock n roll woman and lifestyle.

[Morgana]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

Yeah, that's not the way addiction works. My Mom cleaned up her act to a degree after she gave birth to me: she left my abusive father. But she kept doing cocaine for another 10 years. Nowadays she's a prescription drug addict. There is no logic when it comes to addicts, except the fact that their affliction is a disease. A disease that can't be treated by things that would make other folks straighten up their act (such as having children).

The thing about addicts is, they always have these grand, beautiful plans that never get accomplished. Stevie wanted to make a Rhiannon movie. She wanted to make a Goldfish & Ladybug cartoon. She wanted to write a book. She's been talking about all of these things since the late 1970s. Coming from a family of addicts, I can tell you- none of these things are going to happen. Just like her adopting never happened. I truly think most addicts have well meaning intentions- but they just have no capability when it comes to following through.

Thank you Louie for bringing reality back into the situation!

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by goldustboi

I very much doubt she would have been be approved at the time as an adoptive parent. Drug addiction and history of alcohol abuse aren't exactly what social services are looking for when trying to place vulnerable children from unstable backgrounds!

Not true. A past history of drug addiction would not be a reason for a person to be denied the ability to be an adoptive parent.

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

...but they just have no capability when it comes to following through.

Not true, either. Sorry Louie- unless you're only referring to addicts who are not in recovery.

[goldustboi]

Originally Posted by jannieC

Not true. A past history of drug addiction would not be a reason for a person to be denied the ability to be an adoptive parent.

Originally Posted by jannieC

Not true. A past history of drug addiction would not be a reason for a person to be denied the ability to be an adoptive parent.

In 1990 Stevie didn't have a past history of drug addiction, she had a current, ongoing and heavy addiction to prescription drugs which would continue for another 3 years. And a history of drug addiction wouldn't necessarily prevent a person from being approved as an adoptive parent but it would certainly be a major concern in the assessment, as would the many other issues in her life such as transiency and frequent, short term relationships.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by goldustboi

In 1990 Stevie didn't have a past history of drug addiction, she had a current, ongoing and heavy addiction to prescription drugs which would continue for another 3 years. And a history of drug addiction wouldn't necessarily prevent a person from being approved as an adoptive parent but it would certainly be a major concern in the assessment, as would the many other issues in her life such as transiency and frequent, short term relationships.

You're right. I read what you wrote incorrectly, as though she were clean when she was talking about adoption.

A person's history of drug addiction would not be easily known in a home study unless there were past criminal charges.

ETA: I'm not sure how a person's current drug abuse/dependence could hinder an adoption home study, come to think of it. Unless someone came forward (in Stevie's case it would have been public knowledge), how would anyone know?

[WildHearted]

Originally Posted by jannieC

You're right. I read what you wrote incorrectly, as though she were clean when she was talking about adoption.

A person's history of drug addiction would not be easily known in a home study unless there were past criminal charges.

ETA: I'm not sure how a person's current drug abuse/dependence could hinder an adoption home study, come to think of it. Unless someone came forward (in Stevie's case it would have been public knowledge), how would anyone know?

Seems like they would do drug testing of some sort as like standard procedure or something to me. But I'm not sure.

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by WildHearted

Seems like they would do drug testing of some sort as like standard procedure or something to me. But I'm not sure.

They don't.

[goldustboi]

Originally Posted by WildHearted

Seems like they would do drug testing of some sort as like standard procedure or something to me. But I'm not sure.

No they don't drug test as standard procedure unless there is reason to think otherwise. Unfortunately for Stevie her zombified presentation in interviews during that period was a bit of a giveaway!

[bombaysaffires]

I think Stevie always liked the IDEA of having a child.... but reality is something else. Just like she likes the IDEA of a long-term committed relationship and claims she would give up her career if the right guy came along... but realistically, her ambition and drive are just not compatible with that. She likes to think she would give it all up but I think when push comes to shove she wouldn't. I recall an interview after she had married Kim and was all about being a [Matthew's] mother... and then she kept working on the Wild Heart, and then was going off on tour and when asked about the divorce (right around the time the tour was going to start) she said, Well I can't just not tour, and I can't not do my music etc etc....

[jellyman10]

Originally Posted by bombaysaffires

She likes to think she would give it all up but I think when push comes to shove she wouldn't.

Yes, I think it's part of her 'romantic' nature. She wants/wanted to meet someone the way it happens in romance novels - where the attraction is so all-consuming that it obliterates all other options. In other words, it removes the responsibility to have to choose. And I think she actually had that with Joe Walsh. Only problem was that he didn't feel the same.

As for adoption... Well, at the risk of starting off *that* subject again, surely the proof that Stevie was never, ever, going to actually be a mom was that she had at least one opportunity to do so biologically, and didn't go through with it? She's also said recently that she knows the truth is that being a rock and roll star was always the only thing she really wanted to do. She's honest about that, which doesn't mean she has no right to express regret or wistfulness for the road not taken - at least not to me it doesn't, but then I'm a bit of a softie where she's concerned.

Loz

[porkpie]

did she ever officially confirm an abortion?

[WildHearted]

Originally Posted by porkpie

did she ever officially confirm an abortion?

There was definitely one interview/article where she admitted to having no less than four, but I think a few people debated the validity of the source. It was a rather lengthy interview if I remember correctly.

[jellyman10]

Originally Posted by porkpie

did she ever officially confirm an abortion?

In my opinion, yes: she has confirmed it not only by not refuting it but by re-phrasing it in a way that makes it clear that she cannot deny it but she's damned if she's going to just say it straight out, if you get me?

She's said that Don Henley 'let the cat out of the bag' on that one and that he had to grovel for her forgiveness for that. She's also referred to something happening in that relationship 'that they weren't ready for'. And I think it's not a stretch to assume that more or less every time she says that 'it was impossible' for her or Chris to have a child while they were in FM, that she's referring to a scenario that actually occurred.

I really didn't want to get into this, because I know some Ledgies find it uncomfortable. It did seem apposite to the topic of adoption, though. I just forget that not everyone has read everything!

[porkpie]

I was just curious going by a comment in a previous post - but unless something's made public I think things like this shouldn't be debated; somethings have to remain private.