My cat died

[skcin]

Sorry so long, but I really need to get this out.


It was really sudden, he was only about 4 years old. We don't really know what happened. About a week ago he started throwing up after he ate (not out of the ordinary, since he always ate too fast; plus we changed his food to a hairball formula.) Then, he didn't eat on Sunday. By Monday, his breathing was becoming labored.

We took him in yesterday morning & his breathing was really bad. The vet gave him some steroid shots (this has helped him in the past - he had a chronic cough that we assumed was related to hairballs) but it was too late & he got worse.

He stopped breathing (slowly - it was the worst thing I've ever seen) but his heart didn't stop. So the vet did some chest compressions & tried to insert an airway, but it didn't work. It did, however, bring him back long enough for him to breathe a bit better & be more alert with some O2. But he was still suffereing, so we decided to put him down. We'll probably never really know what happened, I'm thinking pneumonia or something similar, maybe asthma.

We said goodbye & cried all day yesterday. My husband has NEVER cried, literally. Well, not since he was a kid. He's freaking out. That was HIS BOY. Now the guilt, the "what if's," the realizing he won't be there anymore, is setting in. He's never lost a pet before, while I've lost several. I'm in so much pain because HE is in so much pain.

We got him when he was a kitten, my brother had found a cardboard box in his yard one night. 4 kittens were inside. He took care of them, feeding them with eye droppers & everything. 1 died, my brother still has 2 of them & we got Cosmo. Named him after Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld. Coolest cat ever. He was B&W, and had a half mustache. And HIS TAIL! Was 14 inches long! Really, we measured it - our other cat, Mrs. Bouvier, measures in at only 9". Cosmo was very long & lanky, and silky smooth.

I'll miss the way he chewed through plastic wrappers to eat bread if I left it on the counter. I'll miss the way he woke us up at 5am to eat by poking us in the face with his paw. I'll miss the way he would do somersaults to get attention (no ****, he really used to actually flip himself over.) I'll miss that every single time I opened the window in the upstairs hallway, he'd come running from wherever he was in the house to jump up onto the sill & stare outside. I'll miss that he'd go into any open box the second it became empty. I'll miss that he'd sneak into the closet looking for more food. I'll miss that he was a total lap cat, sitting on you the minute you sat down, so cuddly & warm. I'll miss seeing him sitting with my husband in their usual position - Mark's legs crossed & extended, propped up on the coffee table or the recliner, Cosmo stretched out the entire length of Mark's legs, sleeping for hours. I'll miss having to monitor the other cat eating, since if she left her food bowl unattended, he'd eat her food before she even realized it. I'll miss him going under the covers & sleeping with us. I'll miss his running into the kitchen as soon as he heard us open a cheese wrapper. I'll miss seeing him at the door, along with the dog, waiting for us to come home.

I will miss this f*cking cat so much, it hurts. And I will really miss seeing Mark with this cat, they had a great bond. Thanks for letting me vent.

I'll post some better pics later, this one does not do him justice.