Feuds

[GardenStateGirlie]

We don't talk to a lot of my family. In fact, i'm being forced to go to a family BBQ this afternoon with my fathers side of the family

Everything is so complicated because there is divorce, remarriage, etc. To begin, my father and his twin brother never knew their father (and in fact, he passed away last Wednesday). He abandoned my grandmother in Italy and then went on to have twins of his own with some other woman. My dad and his brother are 57. They have two half-brothers (Salvatore and Anthony) and a half-sister, Rose. My dad and his twin brother haven't been on the best of terms for the past few years which in turn, caused his daughter (who is expecting her first child this week) and son to treat me like complete crap. We all live in the same housing development and i'd wave as I was leaving and they were coming in and they'd ignore me. My father doesn't like Sal (he's a bit of a blowhard) nor his sister Rose (she's a total space cadet and that's putting it mildly). My grandmother likes to cause problems between my dad and his twin brother and her husband (he's also 100% Italian and has cheated on her for years) and my dad and my dads brother do not get along. I hate him and he knows it.

My mom has a half-sister she's only met once and then she has a brother whom she's currently duking it out with. He and his first wife are divorced and my mom took care of their son (my cousin who is like a brother to me) when he was little because both of them were school teachers. Well, Eric has always been incredibly close to us but this past Christmas my uncle made some comments that my mom didn't really like. My uncle has a step son he's always treated like crap and is rather controlling of his wife. My mom said something about it--at their house Merry Christmas! He threw a soda can at my mom and they haven't spoken since.

As far as celebrity feuds, I love anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she's fighting every five seconds with someone new.

I'm incredibly laxed and don't enjoy confrontation unless I feel it's absolutely warranted. The only feud I've had is with a coworker talking about me and the rest of my coworkers incessantly. She and I have had shouting matches -- it took a year and a half for me to get adaquately wound up until I finally explode. Generally, i'll ignore things because I like to keep the peace. This woman went too far.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

We don't talk to a lot of my family. In fact, i'm being forced to go to a family BBQ this afternoon with my fathers side of the family

Everything is so complicated because there is divorce, remarriage, etc. To begin, my father and his twin brother never knew their father (and in fact, he passed away last Wednesday). He abandoned my grandmother in Italy and then went on to have twins of his own with some other woman. My dad and his brother are 57. They have two half-brothers (Salvatore and Anthony) and a half-sister, Rose. My dad and his twin brother haven't been on the best of terms for the past few years which in turn, caused his daughter (who is expecting her first child this week) and son to treat me like complete crap. We all live in the same housing development and i'd wave as I was leaving and they were coming in and they'd ignore me. My father doesn't like Sal (he's a bit of a blowhard) nor his sister Rose (she's a total space cadet and that's putting it mildly). My grandmother likes to cause problems between my dad and his twin brother and her husband (he's also 100% Italian and has cheated on her for years) and my dad and my dads brother do not get along. I hate him and he knows it.

My mom has a half-sister she's only met once and then she has a brother whom she's currently duking it out with. He and his first wife are divorced and my mom took care of their son (my cousin who is like a brother to me) when he was little because both of them were school teachers. Well, Eric has always been incredibly close to us but this past Christmas my uncle made some comments that my mom didn't really like. My uncle has a step son he's always treated like crap and is rather controlling of his wife. My mom said something about it--at their house Merry Christmas! He threw a soda can at my mom and they haven't spoken since.

As far as celebrity feuds, I love anything having to do with Lindsay Lohan because it seems like she's fighting every five seconds with someone new.

I'm incredibly laxed and don't enjoy confrontation unless I feel it's absolutely warranted. The only feud I've had is with a coworker talking about me and the rest of my coworkers incessantly. She and I have had shouting matches -- it took a year and a half for me to get adaquately wound up until I finally explode. Generally, i'll ignore things because I like to keep the peace. This woman went too far.

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

Yeah, I remember you telling me this stuff when we shared family crap stories.
Sorry to hear of your dad's dad. I assumed the funeral was for your neighbor.

Somebody needs to lock up Lindsey L. with Shannen Doherty.

- Jake

It was for my neighbor--my dad saw him as a dad but never met his real father (he lived and died in Italy--I have family there i've never met). Ironically, the day his real father died was the day our neighbor was rushed to the hospital. My dad was one of the pallbearers yesterday and spoke about how he didn't have a tie on because whenever we'd go somewhere that required his wearing one, he'd go across the street and have Jim tie his tie because he never knew how

Just you wait. Lohan gets around quite a bit--i'm sure she'll end up with her boyfriend too and Doherty will kick her ass

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by mylittledemon

I had a good childhood. My mother was a homemaker and raised myself, my brother and my sister. My dad always had a good job and we never really needed anything. They didn't spoil us...but we had everything we needed and about 50% of what we wanted! My mother was a good mother and she did everything she could for us.

My family moved to Chattanooga, TN in 1992. From 92-98 we went to one church there near Cleveland. Growing up in this church I was very close to the pastor, his family and many of the kids that went to church there. In fact, I was head of the youth group at a certain point. My father however, was not a church-goer. He went on Easter and Christmas I think and that was it.

In 1998 my mother dropped the bomb on us that she and my father were getting divorced. What a shock that was...I still am not fully over it when I think about. Well I was pretty damn distraught...and guess who I went to see? Yup, my pastor. He spoke with me for an hour or so. Me, and Danny's son Tim, who was a good friend of mine, all went to see Mask of Zorro and have lunch.

Months later towards Christmastime my mother announces she is marrying Danny, who is divorcing his wife Suzy (of over 20 yrs) to marry my mother!!! After speaking to my sister months later after Christmas...my sister had known that my mother was seeing Danny about 8 months before she announced the divorce. So...that sonofabitch Danny was seeing my mother the whole time...so when I had gone to see him about the divorce he didn't have the balls to tell me. He lied to me telling me crap like "these things happen." Oh it still upsets me when I think about that day.

I will never ever trust him under any circumstance...I have very little trust in my own mother at this point too, even though I love her the same. My father of course was in complete shock...he had no clue. I suppose none of us did. We have all gone our seperate ways. My sister and mother do not speak ever. My brother and I speak to our mother maybe once every month. It's a damn shame.

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

[sara1998]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

[Mari]

^Sara1998 Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by Mari

^Sara1998 Some people sure know to choose the worst moments, don't they? Jesus, she should mind her own f*cking business if you ask me!

Last funeral I went to was my grandmom (mom's side of the family) last year. That's when my dad decided to show up unannounced. Hadn't seen him before that for over 10 years and would like to keep it that way. Yeah he picked a great moment too. He was grovelling before us, me and my mum.. oh so pitiful. But the next time I heard of him he was trying to get his way, manipulating and bossing me around just as he'd always done. I guess I'm glad to've seen him again and have a new image of him (grey old scruffy pitiful man) instead of that man I was scared of in my childhood, though. 'kay, enough personal stuff for today

Maybe your dad and my grandma should get togther. Sounds like they'd be good for eachother......

[EnchantedSLN]

I don't think I have any feuds.

There are a lot in my family though. My grandmother's brother died several years ago, and his children had him cremated and spread his ashes according to his final wishes. In the Jewish faith, you're not supposed to do this. So, my grandmother was very upset about it and saw it as a slap in the face to her brother's life and religion, even though it was apparently what he wanted. She cut all ties with them and has refused to acknowledge them as part of our family ever since. She has Alzheimer's now and can't remember much of anything anymore, but she still remembers that she hates them all . (She also blamed his death on them, to an extent. He died of a cocaine overdose and she felt it was their fault for not getting their father the help he needed before it was too late.)

One of my grandmother's sisters, Vicki, was killed under mysterious circumstances about 15 years ago. The investigation never led anywhere, but my family is convinced the man she was living with at the time had something to do with it. There was a fair amount of money involved. Her daughter seemed to know some details that she wasn't giving up, so she has subsequently been excluded from the family too.

Also, we used to be really close to one of my mother's cousins... when my parents got divorced and my mom & I had to make an unexpected move across the country (abusive situation, big mess), she allowed us to live in one of their homes (yes, plural) in Scottsdale for 1 year so that my mom could get on her feet somewhere where my dad wouldn't think to look, and then permanently move to California where most of her family was. Her cousin even came out and stayed with us for about 4 months of that year to show my mom around and help her find a new job and get me in school and stuff. When we moved out at the end of that year, the cousin's husband said some really unsavory stuff to my mom (about how he didn't know why they were helping his wife's trashy family blah blah blah). Said cousin didn't say a word in defense of us, so that was a sore spot between her & my mom for a long time. It irked me because she was like an aunt to me and while I was naturally defensive of my mom, she had always been good to me & I didn't want to completely lose touch with her. This was a long time ago and things have simmered down a bit... I've visited her numerous times over the years and her and my mom are on civil terms, but they'll never be real close again.

Wait, was that my family or a synopsis for a Lifetime movie marathon?

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by sara1998

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a disfunctional family... but I'm sorry all of you go through this ****.

My grandmother, on my mom's side is one big bitch. See, my mom's mom's side of the family reminds me of the troll with their extreme right views. They are holier-than-thou, and don't dare tell them any different. My grandmother has always treated my mom like ****. She has never liked my dad because he don't take **** from no one, including her. And, of coarse, I'm not good enough either, because I'm my fathers daughter, and I won't take her **** either. So, rewind back to my Jason's funeral. This is when I basically cut off all contact with grandma. She came up to Indiana (she lives in Tennessee) for the funeral. So, when she got here, a few days before the funeral, she was around basically while I was planning it. I buried him in a t-shirt and blue jeans, becasue he would not be comfortable buried in a suit and tie. (call me crazy, it's how I think) I also had a closed casket to spare Sara of any unwanted trauma. Well, grandma first threw a fit because he was not "dressed up" to meet his maker, and went on to bitch because it was a closed casket. She could'nt see him. WTF? She told the rest of the family that I said not to bother sending flowers, because I didn't want them. Needless to say, she went home the day before the funeral. Things didn't go her way.

Now, I just lost my favorite grandfather 2 Saturdays ago when I was in California. This is grandma's ex-husband, my mom's dad. I love her dad's side of the family. They are the partiers. Put it this way, grandpa was buried with his cigarettes, lighter, and a fifth of vodka. Grandma came up from Tennessee showing her ass again, about in the same way she did at Jason's funeral. Her and my dad really got into it, and grandma told my dad that she will be sure that she takes my mom away from him. My folks have been married 29 years now. I'm sure mom's not going anywhere! LOL... No one is talking to her now. She's damn lucky I was out of state because I would have went the f*ck off on her. She's one of those if it's not her way, she's pissed off about it. NEver mind that this is her ex-husband of 40 years..... I have cut off all contact with her, and could care less if I ever speak to her again.

Wow, sorry you had to deal with that foolishness at such a difficult time. My mother's mother was something of a horror as well, to the point where I never met her even though we lived in the same city & I was ten when she died.

- Jake

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Jesus I'm sorry that bomb exploded in your life. Those kinds of betrayals cut very deep. My parents split at about the same time and even though I am an adult I still haven't gotten over it either.

I don't really have any feuds exactly but there's a whole family I used to be friendly with that I am not anymore. I met them through a woman I worked with while in college. Over the years I got to know each of her family members. After being with my fiance for 8 years, including all dating years, things really began to fall apart. I confided a lot in this woman's sister. She knew some very personal things that nobody else knew. But after I wound up leaving she moved in with him 2 weeks later. When I found out I vomitted.

That was the most difficult year of my life and I never want to feel like that again. I am very careful about the people I will hang around with now. I barely got through that year. It really felt like something exploded in the middle of my life and I was living in the pieces. I had no home (temporarily with parents), no kitties (he had my girls), few friends and none who weren't somehow related to this woman. It was awful.

Last week my ex was playing a gig. Also a mutual friend of ours was going on as the next act. I really wanted to go but I couldn't do it. It would depress me to see her there and all. So it still does affect me these 7 years later.

Yes, my mother decided to leave my father after I left my ex (while I was living back at home). I was so mad at her for that, still am. Oh man this thread is depressing! But it reminds me of how far I have come because now I am living the life that I want to instead of trying to fit some mold that he wanted me to be.

Sorry the thread depresses you.
I don't think avoiding someone who hurt you qualifies as a feud. A feud is more aggressive than that, IMO.

- Jake

[Mari]

- Are there feuds in your life? (In all seriousness, let's nobody refer to any squabbles between posters. )

lol.. good, I won't mention all the internet feuds, that saves me a long story!!

Family: I haven't talked to my dad in 12 years now, that's since my parents divorced. The split up wasn't the reason, it just made it easier for me to finally do that. I would've left the house and did the same thing maybe . It's a long story that's a bit too personal here, but I just don't have any positive feelings for him left. On top of whatever he's done, he's a very manipulative person too, so not being in contact makes my life a lot more pleasant.
A few years after that break, I also lost contact with my father's family, and that makes me a lot more sad.. the feud is between them and my mother, but I felt I had to pick my mothers' side on this. That family is sick, I guess. There's all these little and big secrets that everyone knows off but that you're not supposed to talk about. Like my late grandfather and how he treated his children. I guess I'm glad I don't have to play that game anymore but I do miss a lot of them.

- Are there celebrity feuds you "follow?"

Not really. Doesn't interest me much.

- What would somebody have to do to you to draw you into an ongoing feud?

If someone says untruthful things about or is very unfair to people who mean a lot to me. I find that very important, to speak out in such situations.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by Mari

lol.. good, I won't mention all the internet feuds, that saves me a long story!!

Family: I haven't talked to my dad in 12 years now, that's since my parents divorced. The split up wasn't the reason, it just made it easier for me to finally do that. I would've left the house and did the same thing maybe . It's a long story that's a bit too personal here, but I just don't have any positive feelings for him left. On top of whatever he's done, he's a very manipulative person too, so not being in contact makes my life a lot more pleasant.
A few years after that break, I also lost contact with my father's family, and that makes me a lot more sad.. the feud is between them and my mother, but I felt I had to pick my mothers' side on this. That family is sick, I guess. There's all these little and big secrets that everyone knows off but that you're not supposed to talk about. Like my late grandfather and how he treated his children. I guess I'm glad I don't have to play that game anymore but I do miss a lot of them.


Not really. Doesn't interest me much.


If someone says untruthful things about or is very unfair to people who mean a lot to me. I find that very important, to speak out in such situations.

My mom feuded with my dad's family for years, but now she is very supportive of them. I'm amazed by her power to forgive, especially since the saga sounds like a season of Dynasty, down to blackmail, arrests, asylums, and so on. It would take a day just to describe it.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

My mom feuded with my dad's family for years, but now she is very supportive of them. I'm amazed by her power to forgive, especially since the saga sounds like a season of Dynasty, down to blackmail, arrests, asylums, and so on. It would take a day just to describe it.

hah, I think it could take a day to explain our family situation too. Glad your mum got a good end of it. I hope I can get in touch with some of my family members one day, but I guess I'm a little chicken too. It's weird, I know I havent'done anything wrong, but I'm afraid a bit of how they'd readt on me.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by Mari

hah, I think it could take a day to explain our family situation too. Glad your mum got a good end of it. I hope I can get in touch with some of my family members one day, but I guess I'm a little chicken too. It's weird, I know I havent'done anything wrong, but I'm afraid a bit of how they'd readt on me.

Not to be preachy, but if it's something you want, don't let fear stop you. Don't wait until after someone dies.

- Jake

[Mari]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

Not to be preachy, but if it's something you want, don't let fear stop you. Don't wait until after someone dies.

- Jake

I know you're right. I tried to get in contact with my grandmother a while ago because it nearly was too late. But then the only way I could go and see her, was via one aunt I absolutely hate. She's done some real evil stuff, told lies.. I can't even tell that here. And the few things I heard from my grandmother made it clear how she thinks about the whole situation.. Maybe I wasn't that big a person then that I would go there and let all their stuff slide off me. And maybe my grandmother wasn't that great a person either and wasn't worth my trying.
I know I have to try again to contact some of them one day, because if I don't it will bug me forever. They never made any effort in my direction, but I guess it's not about that.. if I want to, I should do it myself.
My dad though, I'm pretty clear on that, no way and never again, thank you.