Dating Preferences (Relocated Thread) - Page 2

HomerMcvie · #16 01-11-2011, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

So Homer's basic points weren't particularly surprising, but the way he phrased them came off a little, well, hinky to me. Sort of an implication that women exist to serve little Homer? And that once we hit our expiration date, we're not even worth getting it up for? Uh, that's a little harsher than "I tend to go for younger women," for example. JMO, of course *shrugs*

Anyway, the most recent post was definitely sweeter. Homer, if you're happy then I'm genuinely happy for both of you. All the best.

What in the world is "hinky"?

No, I'm only stating little Homer's preference! Little Homer doesn't rule Big Homer, however.

So far, this time, I've got a good feeling about it.

mezzoforte · #17 01-11-2011, 06:41 PM

Hinky? It's slangy, I guess. It means, basically, "not quite right." I've always thought it was kind of a fun word.

BTW, this has reminded me of the hubbub around a John Mayer comment a while ago. There was some controversy over his voiced preference for white girls (or rather, he stated that little John wasn't open to black girls). I'm not saying the issue is identical by any means (race is a social construction, whereas age is not). But it's a fascinating debate, I think--is it okay to have preferences? And how can one voice those preferences? It's not a simple question, and I'm not sure of the answer. But I thought this was an interesting article if anyone wants to do more reading.

http://jezebel.com/5469484/its-impos...premacist-dick

And, uh, sorry for swerving way off topic, everyone!

elle · #18 01-11-2011, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

No judgements on girlfriends who boink 40-year-olds. It's just not for me. Personally, I would only sleep with someone with whom I felt an emotional connection (no judgements on casual sex either--just not my thing), and being young and still in college, I have yet to relate to a 40-year-old on that level.

Of course everyone has their own tastes! And that's fine. I've dinged guys for being shorter than me--hosts of other reasons, really, and many of them superficial. If we're honest with ourselves, looks do matter, to almost all of us.
Some guys prefer blonds, some curvy chicks, and nearly all prefer younger women. Why? Because they're designed to. Mother nature wired men to spread their seed, and that entails seeking out fertile females. So I accept it as a biological inevitability that men will go for a 20-something over a 40-something, nine times out of ten.
So Homer's basic points weren't particularly surprising, but the way he phrased them came off a little, well, hinky to me. Sort of an implication that women exist to serve little Homer? And that once we hit our expiration date, we're not even worth getting it up for? Uh, that's a little harsher than "I tend to go for younger women," for example. JMO, of course *shrugs*

Anyway, the most recent post was definitely sweeter. Homer, if you're happy then I'm genuinely happy for both of you. All the best.

very nicely explained mezzoforte. and yes, homer's comment reminded me of a johm meyer thing too.

so homer, your phrasing apparently left a very similar impression on a 20yo, 30+yo and 40+yo woman. i don't think that was your intent, but if you don't really want to come accross as some kind of "bragging sexist prick", you may want to consider toning down these types of comments.

HomerMcvie · #19 01-11-2011, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elle

very nicely explained mezzoforte. and yes, homer's comment reminded me of a johm meyer thing too.

so homer, your phrasing apparently left a very similar impression on a 20yo, 30+yo and 40+yo woman. i don't think that was your intent, but if you don't really want to come accross as some kind of "bragging sexist prick", you may want to consider toning down these types of comments.

I did sound for John Mayer, once. He was really nice. But there should be nothing wrong, with stating your preferences. On a Seinfeld, Elaine calls Jerry racist, because he likes Asian women. Jerry says, "how is it racist, if I LIKE their race?" PC-ness, has reached a ridiculous level.

Always remember, the written word, can easily be misconstrued. I think you've taken a couple of things, not in the context in which they were intended.

elle · #20 01-11-2011, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

the written word, can easily be misconstrued.

definitely agree. and like i said, mezzoforte stated everything so nicely, from biology to tastes. we all have our preferences. and, i'm very happy that my brother who's your age has a 20+yo gf.

just letting you know what (not only my) impression is.

HomerMcvie · #21 01-11-2011, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elle

definitely agree. and like i said, mezzoforte stated everything so nicely, from biology to tastes. we all have our preferences. and, i'm very happy that my brother who's your age has a 20+yo gf.

just letting you know what (not only my) impression is.

My biggest problem with dating that age range, is that they always ASSume, that I'm so different from them. Like I don't have hopes, dreams, fear of rejection, and love in my heart. Like I'm not able to cry, or be vulnerable, or something. I'm very strong, but I'm not tough. There is a difference.
Because, at least inside, I feel like we're pretty much the same. Believe it or not, I have an innocent, giving, loving heart. I'm confident, but that doesn't mean I still can't be those other things.

skcin · #22 01-13-2011, 08:25 PM

I have no problem with age differences between people who are dating, banging, married, whatever. I do have a problem with a woman being judged/written off as unattractive or gross just because she's older, or just because she's overweight.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I got an email, about two months ago, saying,(I don't want this to sound like bragging, or anything like that)"I can't get you out of my mind, even after all these months. While I thought I couldn't deal with our age difference, I have decided, indeed, that you're the real deal. When you told me that you loved me, it freaked me out. But I now know that you were being sincere, and not just saying that, to score someone young. I'm sorry, and I was very cruel to you, and you deserve better than that. And if you'd like to try it again, slowly, I'd like that".

And so it goes. And we're going slowly. And it's going pretty darned good.

There's no way she had that many commas in her email.

Hope it works out well for you both. Really. Although, whatever will you do 17 years (or 25 pounds) from now...

HomerMcvie · #23 01-13-2011, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

There's no way she had that many commas in her email.

Hope it works out well for you both. Really. Although, whatever will you do 17 years (or 25 pounds) from now...

The age has never been a problem for me(imagine that). The weight loss, however, was a SHOCK(as we hadn't seen each other for nine months), and I was told, "I no longer find you attractive, now that you're a skinny white boy". It took a couple weeks of getting used to. It's all good, now.

mezzoforte · #24 01-13-2011, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

The age has never been a problem for me(imagine that). The weight loss, however, was a SHOCK(as we hadn't seen each other for nine months), and I was told, "I no longer find you attractive, now that you're a skinny white boy". It took a couple weeks of getting used to. It's all good, now.

Um, I think Sckin meant when your gf ages 20 years, puts on 25 pounds (as in, will you toss her out with the garbage?). Not your weight loss.

HomerMcvie · #25 01-13-2011, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

Um, I think Sckin meant when your gf ages 20 years, puts on 25 pounds (as in, will you toss her out with the garbage?). Not your weight loss.

I don't really have a problem with a little chub, on OTHERS. Honestly. My weight loss, is all for me! My family thinks I'm too thin, but I don't care. I'm where "I" want to be, and that's all that matters.

Dodfather · #26 01-14-2011, 03:58 AM

Well guys, my last girlfriend was 18 years older than me. We broke up 2 years ago and got together I was 25 and she 42, nearly 43. I met her when she came to my dept to do her phD (and she sure did! - sorry. obvious joke that I had to go for!) I'm older for my age, so I'm told, and we had become good friends before getting together.

We had been friends a couple of months before I actually asked her how old she was because I realised I didn;t know. I COULD NOT believe it when she said 42. She looked 30-32 at the oldest! No-one else in our circle of friends could believe it either. That's what yoga and a good diet will do for you I guess...

Oh, and it was the best sex I'e ever had! So far of course...

Sidenote: For an older woman you just can;'beat Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh Hell Yeah! That red dress, on the piano, singing Making Whoopee... She still looks great.

daniellaaarisen · #27 01-14-2011, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

Speaking as a 21-year-old, I can honestly say that there is not a 40-year-old on earth I would sleep with. But that's because I can't see myself having that kind of emotional connection with someone closer to my father's age than my own--not because of a dearth of attractive 40-somethings.

I'm 19 and the exact opposite-- I haven't dated anyone under 30 in 3 years. I've gone as old as 52 and right now, I'm involved with a 39-year-old. I have tried dating people my own age and it just feels so wrong for me, so unnatural... I really have to force it, when all my relationships with older men have not just been "easy," but successful. One lasted over a year. So hey! It changes for everyone, and I fully support Dave's decision.

HomerMcvie · #28 01-14-2011, 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dodfather

Well guys, my last girlfriend was 18 years older than me. We broke up 2 years ago and got together I was 25 and she 42, nearly 43.
We had been friends a couple of months before I actually asked her how old she was because I realised I didn;t know. I COULD NOT believe it when she said 42. She looked 30-32 at the oldest!
Oh, and it was the best sex I'e ever had! So far of course...
.

Trying so hard to refrain from comment, but I'm so weak in that area!

I truly believe, that age is a state of mind. If you've got 3 kids, and a bitch of a spouse(not being gender specific on "bitch"), time is going to take it's toll. If you "believe", in being young, and "live" young, I believe, you will stay young. I'm 19, forever. Your mileage may vary.

A 20yo is texting me, right now, to which, I am not responding...... I just got off of work, and drinking some wine, so I'm not driving back to town!

And yes, sex is better than ever. At 18, it's REALLY exciting, but you don't know "what" to do, to put it over the top. At 40, it's still really exciting(minus the anxiety!!!!), but you know how to get everything you want, out of it!

iamnotafraid · #29 01-14-2011, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

I haven't dated anyone under 30 in 3 years. I've gone as old as 52 and right now, I'm involved with a 39-year-old.

Let's hear it for Dani!
40+ is still cool.

jannieC · #30 01-14-2011, 08:02 AM

While I am told that I look young for someone of my advanced age, I would never ever want to be with a much younger man. I think the pressure would just be too much for me. Fortunately I am happily married and won't need to worry about it. I don't have a problem with age differences, but did I ever tell you guys about the client I had? She was 18 and her boyfriend was.......................................................................................wait for it...............................................72. And he was her "best friend's" grandfather.

I am not one to judge, but it really does depend on the situation. This was a really unhealthy situation (I wish I could tell details because it was just so bizarre) and the age gap was not a good thing.