Random Thoughts/Express Yourself

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by sparky

So happy to be single, since everyone has mentioned this subject. Two guys I know want to "date" me, and I am not that into it. Hard to say that in a nice way to them. They're nice guys, but I don't need it. I am extremely content being by myself. Two weekends ago I didn't talk to a soul for 48 hours straight. Heaven. Did yardwork, hungout by the pool, and played with the birds. It was bliss.


Oh, and I need more sleep.

You sound like me there

I have one guy being VERY persistent about trying to date me - I've tried everything from letting him down nicely to being a complete bitch - nothing seems to work He just called me yesterday (I didn't answer).

And I LOVE the weekends where I just keep to myself and do things around the house or with my dog It IS heaven - my friends totally don't understand it though and think it's very strange that I don't want to party every single weekend....

[estranged4life]

Why has this year been busier than usual with regard to bootlegs? With U2, Bruce Springsteen, Dream Theater & Stevie Nicks all on tour it is quite a feat trying to keep up with all the shows that appear...Ain't it fun????

Thank God that most of the new shows sound excellent

[lagringader&r]

Originally Posted by sara1998

No, I was his first love. My first love is deceaced. Either way, he still has an itch.

Whoops, sorry. I misunderstood. Yep, he's got an itch, though. Ok, random thought coming. Why do men cheat on their wives? I know that's a big question, but it's really rampant. I get hit on a lot by married guys. I'm sure evreybody else does. My friend is a concierge at a hotel and sees a lot with his job involving married men. So, what's the deal?

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

Whoops, sorry. I misunderstood. Yep, he's got an itch, though. Ok, random thought coming. Why do men cheat on their wives? I know that's a big question, but it's really rampant. I get hit on a lot by married guys. I'm sure evreybody else does. My friend is a concierge at a hotel and sees a lot with his job involving married men. So, what's the deal?

I was out with friends a few months ago. This guy was being really nice to one of us, Danny (short for Danielle). I thought it was just harmless flirting or whatever. Then my friend Dawn says she saw them kissing out front and she has a good feeling about them. I'm like "He's married! He's wearing a ring!" Her jaw just dropped.

I was surprised these girls were so naive. They were like, "Why would someone act like that if they are married?" But I have experienced that more so I look for the ring, they didn't even think to look. It turned into this major drama.

Why do they cheat?

* Because they can.
* They have a compulsion.
* Sexual addiction.
* Looking for a thrill.
* Unhappily married.
* Wife is frigid.
* Know they can get away with it and have no conscience. (these are the very scary ones)

I don't know. Is any reason really good enough?

Many men do remain faithful. But I always get hit on by married men too, most recently last Thursday. He was saying something about his lips and how kissable or soft or something (I know, hurl) and my roommate was like, "That must be great for your WIFE." I really love her extra when she says those kinds of things because I hadn't noticed the ring. Sometimes even the educated can slip. G@dd%^& men. I guess the clubs are where these types prowl. Makes sense I guess. Stupid clubs.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by lagringader&r

Whoops, sorry. I misunderstood. Yep, he's got an itch, though. Ok, random thought coming. Why do men cheat on their wives? I know that's a big question, but it's really rampant. I get hit on a lot by married guys. I'm sure evreybody else does. My friend is a concierge at a hotel and sees a lot with his job involving married men. So, what's the deal?

Long ago I actually started a thread about that very same topic!!!

That's a damn good question - and one that freaks me out. I wonder how I will truly trust someone with all the crappy things I hear out there. I mean I've got several friends who have either had affairs with or simply slept with married people...it's just sad

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Many men do remain faithful. But I always get hit on by married men too, most recently last Thursday. He was saying something about his lips and how kissable or soft or something (I know, hurl) and my roommate was like, "That must be great for your WIFE." I really love her extra when she says those kinds of things because I hadn't noticed the ring. Sometimes even the educated can slip. G@dd%^& men. I guess the clubs are where these types prowl. Makes sense I guess. Stupid clubs.

The ring is ALWAYS the first thing I look for on a guy lol...even guys I'm not interested in - it's become standard, I see a man I look for a ring And lately? I'm noticing that they're all married!!! It sucks.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

The ring is ALWAYS the first thing I look for on a guy lol...even guys I'm not interested in - it's become standard, I see a man I look for a ring And lately? I'm noticing that they're all married!!! It sucks.

I hear that. They're all so married. Since women outlive men 7 years on average I have decided my ideal dating age for a man is 27. So that makes it a little easier to find one that isn't married yet.

[sparky]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

You sound like me there
And I LOVE the weekends where I just keep to myself and do things around the house or with my dog It IS heaven - my friends totally don't understand it though and think it's very strange that I don't want to party every single weekend....

They have become my favorite. I can spend HOURS just pulling weeds and raking stuff. It is meditative. Ditto watchig the birds play or scratching their heads. I go off into a zone. Same zone I get in doing long bouts of exercise, singing, or playing the guitar. It is great and probably an indication that my job has physically and creatively drained my batteries to the cracking point.

F the party thing. I usually go out and have a few drinks on a Friday night -
it is fun to see hot guys and get sinffed a few times. But, since I am not looking for a BF, it is just a distraction.

Alone is cool.

[sparky]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Why do they cheat?

* Because they can.
* They have a compulsion.
* Sexual addiction.
* Looking for a thrill.
* Unhappily married.
* Wife is frigid.
* Know they can get away with it and have no conscience. (these are the very scary ones)

I don't know. Is any reason really good enough?

I could write a PhD on this one.

I think those are a few reasons. Mainly it isn't the addiction or the compulsion.
I have found a few things in my married buddies personalities that really explain a lot.
Most of them don't want to be married. Period. When you get down to it, they felt they HAD to get married, and HAD to have kids. They got married sooner than they should have, and most of them to the wrong woman. Let's face it, only a fraction of humans take any personal responsibility these days. So, anyone who feels hurt, and feels victimized or "unhappy", feels the permission to go out and get satisfied. Fill in the blank for what the satisfaction entails - food, sex, danger, spending on credit cards, etc.
People want what they want and they want it NOW.
I also think that our modern society fails to realize that marriage is a modern construct. The concept of these crazy over the top "weddings" for everyone only took hold in the Victorian era. Before that the big wedding was the sole domain of the wealthy and marriage was about property transfer and control of power. Families arranged marriages to consolidate wealth and power. The romance thing is new new new. Love is not - but the concept of a romantic, fulfilling, fairy tale marriage definitely is.
For tens of thousands of years, men (and this is about why MEN cheat) have not had to control their sexual drive the way modern society demands. I am not apologizing -this is history. This is history and we are when you get down to it, animals. Biologically and historically, women have had kids and raised them, men have gone out and killed stuff and protected them. Not a whole lot time to worry about sexual fidelity and romantic fulfillment. That is a lot of history that has had to have had an impact, and imprint on the way the mind operates. Modern marriage, in my opinion, runs counter to tens of thousands of years of history and behavior in the male of the species. Do I think marriage and monogomy are wrong ? No. But I think this is one of the main reasons why men cheat. And by and large, probably will always cheat. Everyone forgets that the way we live now is brand new, and a mere sliver in the history of our species. This whole marriage thing is a small branch on an enormous oak tree of social history.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Why do they cheat?

* Because they can.
* They have a compulsion.
* Sexual addiction.
* Looking for a thrill.
* Unhappily married.
* Wife is frigid.
* Know they can get away with it and have no conscience. (these are the very scary ones)

I don't know. Is any reason really good enough?

give that woman a prize!!! I feel all the reasons ya listed are accurate & the usual reasons why

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

The ring is ALWAYS the first thing I look for on a guy lol...even guys I'm not interested in - it's become standard, I see a man I look for a ring And lately? I'm noticing that they're all married!!! It sucks.

I wear on a daily basis are the 2 wedding bands we bought (The original gold band that has royally faded and the very cool as **** red/blue turquoise silver saw toothed bands we bought immediately after we were married...Hell My sis Lesa like our turquoise bands so much she bought herself an identical ring )

Trust me, if I took the rings off ya can easily see the marks of where I have worn these rings for over 12.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

give that woman a prize!!! I feel all the reasons ya listed are accurate & the usual reasons why

Thanks. Also, they are the reason women cheat.

A romantic, fulfilling marriage is a modern construct, yes. In order to develop a deep bond of trust you have to remain faithful. A marriage where people are straying is not a real union because there is deception there. Yes, men are hard wired to desire many partners but they also can learn to love and cherish one if that is what they want. This is a very rewarding thing if you are highly evolved emotionally. It sucks that some people feel like they had to get married or have kids. In this day and age, that's crazy. I don't want to marry anyone that doesn't want to get married.

[xdreamsunwindx]

Random!

- I'm sick again and I have a show coming up next week. I better be well by then.
- I love the Violent Femmes.
- I really, really don't want to go to work tomorrow.
- I want to dye my hair purple.

Okay, the end.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by xdreamsunwindx

- I want to dye my hair purple.

Okay, the end.

I just put purple tips in my hair

Well ok - they were supposed to be purple but because me hair is so dark they turned out to a dark red - so I then bought some manic panic to darken it up a bit - I like it -

Purple hair rocks - go for it

[mylittledemon]

I wonder what the meaning is of spending several wonderful years with one girl....and then finally breaking up and moving on. I don't think it's better to have loved and lost.