male and female identities

[LiamMcConville]

Originally Posted by Miss Vicky

I edited. Sorry for the infractions.

As for your question, you hit the nail on the head.

Liam: You're only 16. You might want to actually reach some true level of maturity before you start spouting that kind of self-praise.

How did I miss this the first time around?

Trust me, I didn't just one day look in the mirror and whisper to myself "My god, I'm mature AND charismatic!"

I've just heard it from every adult I've ever had a twenty minute conversation with. I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed that pleasure.

[Miss Vicky]

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

I've just heard it from every adult I've ever had a twenty minute conversation with. I'm sorry you haven't enjoyed that pleasure.

Oh, I'm sure I'd get great pleasure out of speaking face to face with the likes of you.

[bretonbanquet]

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

So says the Veterinary technician.

What's wrong with being a vet? What do you plan on doing for a living?

[carrie721]

guys, if i had wanted my thread to end up in an argument, i would have started it

[Miss Vicky]

Originally Posted by carrie721

guys, if i had wanted my thread to end up in an argument, i would have started it

Carrie, this is the Ledge. Civilized discussion is not our forte.

At least, it is not my forte.

[LiamMcConville]

Originally Posted by bretonbanquet

What's wrong with being a vet? What do you plan on doing for a living?

Nothing is wrong with being a vet, nothing is wrong with being a vet TECH, unless the latter decides to spout of some pompous bull**** when they're not even one to talk.

At this very moment I plan on being a High School Principal.

[carrie721]

Originally Posted by sara1998

There ya go... that's a little more expected.
What I meant was, I wasn't sure if that post was what you were looking for.
-smartass...

bitch

Originally Posted by Miss Vicky

Carrie, this is the Ledge. Civilized discussion is not our forte.

At least, it is not my forte.

we are ledgies. and we are not nice.

[Miss Vicky]

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

to spout of some pompous bull**** when they're not even one to talk.

How am I not one to talk?

Never on these boards have I claimed to be either charismatic or mature.

I own my immaturity. No denial here.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

gents: what does "being a man" mean to you?

I'm only sixteen, so here's what I feel what is expected of a teenaged boy.

Apparently, we're only supposed to want to have sex. Sex, sex, and more sex. And I mean, I'm all for having sex, but for whatever reason, I want to be in love with a girl before I have sex with her. (Mind you, I'm still a virgin. And right about now I know "FRESH MEAT" is running through all your Cougar minds, but contain yourselfs until I'm 18.)

I work at a resturant, and every guy over 19 tells me that I need to find some slut and bang her, just to get it over with. And when I tell them that's not what I want to do, I want to wait and actually loose it to a girl that I'm in love with, I'm automatically a queer.

Also, I'm expected to not care about anything that surrounds me. I'm not supposed to care about what color my bedroom is, I'm not supposed to be in Leadership, I'm not supposed to care about the future. I'm expected to play a sport, dress like an idiot, and love Greenday and the musical stylings of Chris Brown. God forbid I like Fleetwood Mac and Elton John.

I don't think most people around me know how to interperate my mature, charasmatic personality, so most people just assume I'm gay. It gets obnoxious, but I know that one day I'll be most of these people's employeer. So, I'm looking foward to that.


This got kind of ranty, and I'm a little bit apprehensive about posting it...But here goes nothing.

Disclaimer: Carrie interesting topic. It has been a thought provoking read. BUT Good God, how I was going to stay out of this thread as anything I say can and will be used against me. I’m sure.)

Hey Liam, I’m glad you contributed. It is COMPLEETLY what Carrie had intended when she posted the question about gender identities. Not fitting into a box or a specific category perfectly often does tend for small minded people in general to want to label you themselves and then shift you into another category. Like straight to gay. ect. Just because you might not fit THEIR perception of the role that you have. Don't let anyone get you down because you have a high standard set for having a physical relationship. It is always your decision to make, and if you want it to mean something, and not just have it to "get it over with" there is nothing wrong with that cause when its done its done, and there’s never another chance for a first time. I do see what you are saying though, and it's hard. There are socially constructed expectations for guys. A lot of the male labels tend to get applied to the group as a whole because those are seemingly always the types who are the loudest and the most visible. The "nice guys" just tend to kind of blend into the background as just "part of the pac". And I say that because I believe alot of that is still primal, and subconscious. It's the whole peacock syndrome, you know loud and showy in order to mate. I think alot of what you’re experiencing is a direct result of your environment also. Once you leave High school, it does become MUCH MORE apparent that there are all different kinds of people in the world, and the stereotypical roles and labels become less and less defined and important.

ALSO. In all the times that I have ever seen you post, Not once have you come across as anything other than a good guy. There is nothing wrong with having confidence, or a deep sense of self. So hold on to that. That alone will help you to overcome the unnecessary negativity of small minded comments. Just know who you are and if other people can't figure that out, or label you for whatever reason, thats on them not you.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

i had a conversation with my grandmother and it really bothered me. My aunt recently left her husband and since then she's a new person. She wears bright clothing, where before she stayed as plain as she could, not to be noticed. She goes out, talks, socializes, and is full of life, where before, something was holding her back. I'm pretty sure the relationship was abusive, and on top of it, he expected the dinner on the table when he got home and her to cook/clean. I was almost jumping out of my seat for joy. Just at how she did it. (I'm not close to her btw...) she was held down for so long and she crawled out of that relationship, a much stronger person. i told my grandmother i enjoyed it because she wasn't being held down. My grandmother explained how some women LIKE to be held down. some women want men to explain to them how they want it done and tell them when to speak, what to wear, how to act. I can only imagine my grandmother was speaking from experience because i think she needs that affirmation from my grandfather. her job is to be his wife. that is all. to socialize, prepare parties...but other than that, she has no identity and it really makes me sad. i dont' think i could ever be like that. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just hard for me to understand...being the way i am.
omg I'm sorry so long jesus.

Reason for Editing: I was told that I had taken up alot of space.

This was really interesting, I especially like that difference between you and your grandmother, it helps to show that things really are moving in a more forward thinking motion. Even within the short time of these couple of different generations.
.

[Miss Vicky]

Phoenix, at the risk of making another "small minded comment," may I suggest that you only quote part of lengthy posts or simply address your comments to the intended person?

It really takes up a lot of space when you quote an entire multi-paragraph post like Michelle's.

[LiamMcConville]

Originally Posted by Miss Vicky

Phoenix, at the risk of making another "small minded comment," may I suggest that you only quote part of lengthy posts or simply address your comments to the intended person?

It really takes up a lot of space when you quote an entire multi-paragraph post like Michelle's.

Oh good God.

[LiamMcConville]

Originally Posted by Phoenix

Disclaimer: Carrie interesting topic. It has been a thought provoking read. BUT Good God, how I was going to stay out of this thread as anything I say can and will be used against me. I’m sure.)

Hey Liam, I’m glad you contributed.

Thank you for your reply Phoenix. And I completely agree with everything you said, especially the High School thing. I'm so completely sick of the bull**** that comes along with being in school, I'm ready to move on.

[Miss Vicky]

Originally Posted by LiamMcConville

Oh good God.

Is that your charisma shining through now?

It was merely a suggestion.

Edit: Just read your response to Phoenix.

I'm so completely sick of the bull**** that comes along with being in school, I'm ready to move on.

That BS doesn't just disappear when you graduate. Trust me. This is especially true once you enter the workforce and it really makes no difference what profession you choose. Get a group of people together for any length of time and ****-talking is bound to happen.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Miss Vicky

Phoenix, at the risk of making another "small minded comment," may I suggest that you only quote part of lengthy posts or simply address your comments to the intended person?

It really takes up a lot of space when you quote an entire multi-paragraph post like Michelle's.

Suggestion noted. And the "small minded Comment" was in reference to the idiots who told him to "go bang some...ect. to "get it over with".