I'm Cranked Out....

[The Tower]

Why am I so cranked out lately???

Why do people seem to be such selfish, thoughtless jerks???


Moreover, why do I feel like my compassion and love for humanity is slowly draining away from me?

Why am I questioning everything related to I or me?

Bleh.

I'm tired of being cynical (although I have damn good reasons to be so). I wish I were more gay like Strand, or more superficially-vacuous-yet-actually-full-of-meaning-that-one-doesn't-know-about like Jizzy. Or more grounded and snappy-cool-resiliant, like Amber. Or more hot-on-the-verge-of-being-able-to-do-anyone-I-want like Ryan. Or more cute and "Gee, I could easily see myself waking up in the morning sleeping next to Curtis whilst laying in 500 bazillion count threads knowing a plane trip was on the scchhhedule...."

Ah, me.... ah, me..... me. me. Hmmmmm.... Me.

Um. I'm really not that self-centered. I could really see myself as Johnny Stew (Brian), except, he and I are absolute icy cold polar opposites. Although, the ironic thing is that I love him BECAUSE he's my polar opposite and that his magnetic opposition gives me something to attract to- me. me. me. me.

I think that Niki (BTFLCHLDLSLDFLD) and Brandon (MyLittleDemon <----I think I got the case wrong there) should just for-jeezus-just-get-it-ON..... although I believe that Niki is quite taken- (no offense Pony Boy).

I think I would have an orgasm if I would have a day in Brian J's Musicquarium.... Seriously. Imagining hearing all those Stevie moments. BOING!!!

Mean people suck. A former collegue of mine who finally came out (as a dyke) who had completely treated me like **** for years (because she was "management" - yeah right) tried to pull the "I'm not mean" **** on her MySpace and then did the whole "mean people suck" routine. Yeah, right. Lemme tell ya- if yer that much of an outta control judgemental {bleep}, you're mean. It comes with the territory.

Holy crap, I love Sparky- and I mean that in it's most holiest of forms. And Nixxxed (Chucky). And Markolas (Marky). And Moony (Dan-O). And TakenByTheSky (Sweet Justin). And even the Brown Eye (Brandan- Brandon- Branden- how many times has it changed, dear- oris it just my Alzheimers????) OY!!!

Ooh, my love.... I love Chris (gldstwmn) and Suze and FREEEKING Paula!!! Jeezus, that woman..... if I were straight (which will never happen in this space-time-continuum), she would be my old lady, and I would be her old man.... although, I'd be shacking up with Amber in Grand Old 70's style....