How to tell a real Stevie fan from a fake Stevie fan

[SortaSavageLike]

-A fake Stevie fan actually likes the Dixie Chicks version of Landslide.
A real Stevie fan runs out of bed screaming at 1 in the morning and throws their Dance CD in the stereo and listens to Landslide three times over after catching a 1 1/2 second snippet of the Dixie Chick's version while station flipping.

-A fake Stevie fan believes that all female rock stars should wear leather pants and look like butch lesbians.
A real Stevie fan gets upsets when Stevie's newest stage costume isn't flowing and diaphanous enough.

-A fake Stevie fan can't believe she really banged Mick Fleetwood.
A real Stevie fan can find appealing qualities in Mick Fleetwood.

-A fake Stevie fan can't figure out the meaning behind Sara.
A real Stevie fan thinks that Sara is mere child's play.

-A fake Stevie fan can't tell if a picture of Stevie was taken in 1976 or in 1984.
A real Stevie fan can determine the time and place a picture of Stevie was taken just by looking at her jewelry, hair style, microphone, or that chip on her right middle tooth that disappeared in the mid 80s.

-A fake Stevie fan complains about how high her voice has become recently.
A real Stevie fan finds the above statement absolutely hilarious.

-A fake Stevie fan finds this list extremely offensive.
A real Stevie fan is laughing at the fake Stevie fan.

-A fake Stevie fan gets extremely excited when annoucing that they have "every live version of Nightbird ever performed!"
A real Stevie fan knows that there were only two, and breaks down laughing right there.

-A fake Stevie fan is one that doesn't own a copy of Tusk because they heard it was "weird."
A real Stevie fan has shed more tears listening to Sara, Storms, and Beautiful Child than every other song put together.

-A fake Stevie fan laments that fact that she'll "sound like Bob Dylan" in a few years.
A real Stevie fan has no problem with this, because she'll have no problem harmonizing with Tom Petty.

-A fake Stevie fan likes the studio version of Rhiannon because her "voice is pretty on it."
A real Stevie fan considers the Rosebud Rhiannon "comparatively mild" to "some of the bootlegs they've heard."

-A fake Stevie fan thinks she still has a crippling cocaine addiction.
A real Stevie fan wishes they'd invent cocaine that wasn't bad for you.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks she sounded like a goat during the mid-80s.
A real Stevie fan remembers the good old days.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that black chiffon is the way to go.
A real Stevie fan is overcome by the sight of floppy berets, flapper dresses, and flowing scarves. Preferably at the same time.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that Edge of Seventeen is about Stevie boffing a tennaged boy.
A real Stevie fan spends half an hour with their significant other discussing the meaning of Edge of Seventeen.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that Lindsey and Stevie are madly in love with each other.
A real Stevie fan wishes she'd get robotic legs so she could kick Lindsey in the crotch repeatedly with her gigantic platform boots.

-A fake Stevie fan wishes she'd stop wearing those "stupid boots" and wear something more comfortable.
A real Stevie fan believes that Stevie should have both of her legs and hips replaced with futuristic robotic prosthetics, so she can go back to wearing six-inch platforms.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by SortaSavageLike

-A fake Stevie fan can't believe she really banged Mick Fleetwood.
A real Stevie fan can find appealing qualities in Mick Fleetwood.

I LOVE that one...but I have a sneaking feeling that some real Stevie fans will take exception to that

[SpyNote]

Is Sara still a mystery to people?

[DavidMn]

Oh I love it! More than a few of those apply to me.

[sparky]

I'm more fake than real, according to this. But it was fun.

[petep9000]

[QUOTE=SortaSavageLike;581817]-
-A fake Stevie fan can't believe she really banged Mick Fleetwood.
A real Stevie fan can find appealing qualities in Mick Fleetwood.
QUOTE]



Ewewewewewewewewwwwwwwwwwwww. I'm continually horrified at the thought of Mick (and not Lindsey or Joe Walsh) being Stevie's love of her life.

[ELIUD]

I'm almost equal parts fake and real according to this. But I'd watch a Mick Fleetwood home porn if it could make me forget Stevie and Waddy being together.
Blechhhh.

[Stevie_Buck]

Hey, I can tolerate the DCX cover of Landslide. Mmm, Divas Las Vegas.
I do love them, but they're no Fleetwood Mac.

Stupid boots... something more comfy... scratches head.

Oh, I know. Platform Reeboks! lmao

[mikeschmike]

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that Lindsey and Stevie are madly in love with each other.
A real Stevie fan wishes she'd get robotic legs so she could kick Lindsey in the crotch repeatedly with her gigantic platform boots.

I don't really agree with this one but the visual is f***ing hysterical.

[goldie]

LOL! I totally get this!

[catinthedark]

Originally Posted by SortaSavageLike

-A fake Stevie fan can't believe she really banged Mick Fleetwood.
A real Stevie fan can find appealing qualities in Mick Fleetwood.

That was exactly the one that made me smile, too!


(er, because i myself have tried to find appealing qualities in mick)

[desertangel]

Originally Posted by SortaSavageLike

-A fake Stevie fan can't tell if a picture of Stevie was taken in 1976 or in 1984.
A real Stevie fan can determine the time and place a picture of Stevie was taken just by looking at her jewelry, hair style, microphone, or that chip on her right middle tooth that disappeared in the mid 80s.

I've always been amazed by that... it's a science and it takes years of study.

-A fake Stevie fan likes the studio version of Rhiannon because her "voice is pretty on it."
A real Stevie fan considers the Rosebud Rhiannon "comparatively mild" to "some of the bootlegs they've heard."

Eeww... I know somebody who says this. She sings karaoke Rhiannon studio cut and doesn't like my rolicking version because it doesn't sound pretty like the studio cut. ARGH!

-A fake Stevie fan thinks she still has a crippling cocaine addiction.
A real Stevie fan wishes they'd invent cocaine that wasn't bad for you.

Ahknowwhatyameanman. Isn't it a Pity... Isn't it a Shame?


That was pretty funny. Thanks for the laughs!

[BlackWidow]

Originally Posted by sparky

I'm more fake than real, according to this. But it was fun.

[Sahara]

Giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle (be nice to Waddy, he's cool!) giggle, giggle, giggle!!

Brilliant stuff, I'm going to print this off and put it in my schoolbag for when some teacher's getting me down -- who's the eejit laughing at the back of the class?

Any additions to the list, people?

[Musicman408]

Oh my, these are absolutely hilarious and oh so true.....

Much Love,
Ethan