The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[Zombie]

Originally Posted by michelle2677

yeah, it's also got some dental instruments used to terrorize folks, some tennis balls and stevie nicks

To me, your sig pic has always been so much more. When I look at it, I see an awesome montage of motivational posters that we have to provide our own captions for.

For me, it's:

"Scurvy sucks! Eat a damn orange already! Tic-Tacs don't count!"
"You don't need clothes to look awesome as long as you have snazzy neckwear!"
"The LBD is the perfect garment for every woman, even if you look like a foot!"
"Remember: Tennis balls to the head are painful! Leave them on the ground next time!" and, of course,
"STEVIE NICKS. GODDAMN."

JTIS.

[daniellaaarisen]

My dad may be taking a job opportunity 8 hours away in San Diego. My mom may or may not be coming with us. I actually think this would be really good for us-- I feel like a bad person for wanting my parents to separate. It's about time, though...

[GypsyBlueEyes]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

My dad may be taking a job opportunity 8 hours away in San Diego. My mom may or may not be coming with us. I actually think this would be really good for us-- I feel like a bad person for wanting my parents to separate. It's about time, though...

I understand why you would, but you really shouldn't feel bad for thinking a separation might be a good idea...after all, you've had to live with them and whatever problems they may have. Sometimes a little space can be a really positive thing for people who have been together a really long time. It will force them to figure things out instead of just letting things slide.

[Silver Springs]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

My dad may be taking a job opportunity 8 hours away in San Diego. My mom may or may not be coming with us. I actually think this would be really good for us-- I feel like a bad person for wanting my parents to separate. It's about time, though...

I can understand completely, honey. Things have been horrible at my home thanks to an infidelity on my Father's part. And I'm not sure our sanities are coping that well under the strain of arguments and walking on egg shells. The only thing that scares me is because my Dad's disabled, he'll need somebody to care for him where my Mother used to. It's a really difficult situation. But I hope that if your parents do seperate, they'll re-discover their happiness and be better and happier people for it.

[Zombie]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I can understand completely, honey. Things have been horrible at my home thanks to an infidelity on my Father's part. And I'm not sure our sanities are coping that well under the strain of arguments and walking on egg shells. The only thing that scares me is because my Dad's disabled, he'll need somebody to care for him where my Mother used to. It's a really difficult situation. But I hope that if your parents do seperate, they'll re-discover their happiness and be better and happier people for it.

Meant to add this to the post above, but I got click happy and hit enter without adding it - I'm so sorry you guys are going through that. It's got to be ridiculously difficult for all involved.

[Silver Springs]

Originally Posted by Zombie

Meant to add this to the post above, but I got click happy and hit enter without adding it - I'm so sorry you guys are going through that. It's got to be ridiculously difficult for all involved.

It was difficult at first (It was only a few months ago that we found out it had been going on for a year) but I guess I've gotten used to being numb about it. About alot of things really... Can't get hurt if you can't feel the hurt.

[LikeAWillow]

I think I just rewound about six years of my life. I just ran into my ex girlfriend in a Wellesley dining hall. All of my friends were in class, so I was sitting alone. She had a table full of people around here.

I was honestly upset.

Excuse me while I go remember how to think like a grown up.

[Kena]

Originally Posted by LikeAWillow

I think I just rewound about six years of my life. I just ran into my ex girlfriend in a Wellesley dining hall. All of my friends were in class, so I was sitting alone. She had a table full of people around here.

I was honestly upset.

Excuse me while I go remember how to think like a grown up.

Don't feel bad, I'm 30 and still have issues with thinking like a grown person, especially when it comes to an ex. I run into my ex lady pretty often and it's okay if she's alone but when she's with mutual friends I am reduced to 3rd grade thinking. My thoughts are something like this - How dare she hang out with mutual friend! I'm never going to talk to mutual friend again! Mutual friend was my friend first! I always knew mutual friend liked my lady! Well guess what mutual friend, my lady never thought you were attractive and that's because you're not! My ex is doing this on purpose! Ugggg! Screw em!

I did not act on these thoughts thank goodness. I held it together and acted (or pretended to be) a grown up. I have to "fake it til I make it" sometimes.

[Zombie]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

My dad may be taking a job opportunity 8 hours away in San Diego. My mom may or may not be coming with us. I actually think this would be really good for us-- I feel like a bad person for wanting my parents to separate. It's about time, though...

Both GypsyBlueEyes & Silver Springs are right - don't feel bad. Whether they're together or not, if it's better...then it's better, you know? I know that parents separating is usually really hard on kids (and the parents, too), but if you already KNOW they're not really doing that well together, then you're already a step ahead in that department. Probably doesn't make it easier in the short term for anyone, but long term...you see what I mean.

< anecdata - your mileage may vary, of course >
As you know, I have two small jackals of my own. I often advise friends that are in very unhappy relationships but wanting to stick it out "for the kids" that doing that is perhaps not the ideal way to go in the long run. My kids' father was a wonderful guy, but we just did NOT work in a romantic sense - we tried forcing it "for the kids" for a (too) long while, but it was just awful.

Neither of us was happy, and we fought constantly and furiously over spectacularly dumb crap. Finally, we decided to just quit it, and we went back to being best friends. It was a hard decision to make, but we put on our big kid pants and did it.

And then about a year later, he passed away.

So even though I firmly believe that it would have been the best decision we could have made for our family in any case, I will always be so damned grateful that we did it when we did. It gave us a year of being able to hang out and have fun together before he had to go, and that's all the kids remember now - that we were fun, that we all loved each other, that we were doing well.

He died 6 years ago last Thursday and I still miss him more than I have words for, but as weird as it sounds, if there's anything good in that situation, us breaking up was it. < /anecdata >