Facebook: The Pros and the Cons

[GypsySorcerer]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

David, I avoided FB for the longest time, even though Michellebunchofnumbersaftername kept after me to join. My real fear was - all of my high school friends FINDING me. I really didn't want to BE found, to tell you the truth. I mean, I just didn't want to go back, if you know what I mean. Well, I added one friend from high school, three days ago, and the f*cking thing has snowballed! God, like 20 of them have found me now. So far, I guess it's okay, but the constant messages to me, is getting on my hermit nerves! As are the CONSTANT email notifications, that "someone has commented on someone else's picture". I mean, who gives a f*ck about that? I'm in the process of disabling the email notifications!

The high school thing is SO true. One finds you, and then they all find you. Somebody added me from middle school, and I barely remembered her. Then, she starts talking to me on chat and asks, "So, what have you been doing since middle school?"

[StreetAngel95]

well being 14, i guess i shouldn't be one to comment, but i will!

my parents were very hesitant about me joining facebook because "all my friends were doing it"

so they let me, and i blew it. Big time. I had been cursing and posting pics and stuff, and i realized that when i get looked over for college apps and applying for a job, they have access to that stuff and i don't want them looking at it, so i discontinued the account. I have also found my life less stressful, knowing that i don't have to go home to a bunch of notifications and s*** to deal with.

and the obvious one: ANYBODY CAN PRETEND TO BE ANYBODY ON THE INTERNET! ITS ALL ANONYMOUS! So somebody who you think is an old friend may be some creeper who wants to kill you...just sayin...but this mostly pertains to younger kids, so nevermind

[WildHeart69]

With the new updates you can block all of the Farmville and other crap updates that you dont want to see! Click on "hide" next to the post and then click on "hide (insert application name)" and then you wont see them anymore from anyone.



-Mike

[jannieC]

A "pro" for me is that I can make all of my information private so that if clients want to find me, they can't see anything. Honestly, I have really enjoyed Facebook. I have loved finding and reconnecting with some really old friends.

I have all of the Mafia Wars, Farmville, pillow fights, buy me a drink-pokey **** hidden, so that doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when someone adds me as a friend and then doesn't even say hello. What's up with that?

David, where are you on FB? Let's be friends!

[MacMan]

Originally Posted by StreetAngel95

well being 14, i guess i shouldn't be one to comment, but i will!

my parents were very hesitant about me joining facebook because "all my friends were doing it"

so they let me, and i blew it. Big time. I had been cursing and posting pics and stuff, and i realized that when i get looked over for college apps and applying for a job, they have access to that stuff and i don't want them looking at it, so i discontinued the account. I have also found my life less stressful, knowing that i don't have to go home to a bunch of notifications and s*** to deal with.

and the obvious one: ANYBODY CAN PRETEND TO BE ANYBODY ON THE INTERNET! ITS ALL ANONYMOUS! So somebody who you think is an old friend may be some creeper who wants to kill you...just sayin...but this mostly pertains to younger kids, so nevermind

Valid points for all youngsters starting out.... Too bad those girls gone wild chicks didn't know about these sorts of investigations

Agree with everything everyone has said so far. I've come to the realization that FB is what you make of it. If you want to befriend everyone on the planet because you saw the same cloud in the sky on such and such day then that's your business. If you want to be private and just have your immediate and close circle of people on there, then that's fine too. I am of the latter pursuasion. However, there have been a few people that have slipped through the cracks over the past year that I should delete. But I feel bad and probably will leave them on there.

Here's a little gem of an awkward situation I found myself in very recently...

You meet someone on online personals. You exchange several emails and a few phone conversations. In one of the emails you are asked if you have FB. You figure, "oh no, this person is one of those that just friend requests random people." You don't address it because if you say yes then you may get a friend request and you feel it's kind of too soon to be a "friend" on there. No matter. Nothing gets brought up about it after. No harm done.

Several weeks after you go on first date. Everything's great on both ends. The next day, you get an actual friend request. You don't do anything because it's still too soon. You don't mention it because you're still mulling it over and think it's no big deal if you do or don't become "friends" on FB. You haven't communicated a whole lot since the date (maybe a week) because of busy schedules. You then notice friend request has been pulled after sitting idle for one week. You kind of feel bad because maybe you should've accepted and now they're offended that you didn't.

So you friend request them back. You realize you are trying to backpedal lol. It gets ignored (deleted) a day or two after. Now you realize the deep water you're in. You send email asking why ignore friend request after having a good time together and all that good stuff. Reply states that FB is personal info etc etc and they did have a good time with you and you're a great person etc etc.

Ok, now you are really confused. You think, didn't this person 1. ask you if you had FB first? and 2. friend request you first? You send follow up email stating those very facts and also your reasons for not accepting thei initial friend request. You make sure email is nice and tactful so other party cannot assign a "tone" You also make sure you are not accusing and blame it on some automated friend finder that is enabled on their end possibly. You have reread email many many times and believe it is a nice email.

And the days go by. Three to be exact. You are still awaiting reply. You don't want to assume anything because you know what happens blah blah blah. But you believe this is pretty much done and things weren't meant to be.

Thank you Facebook.

Thoughts, Comments, Concerns, Questions? Would anyone care for a mint?

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by GypsySorcerer

The high school thing is SO true. One finds you, and then they all find you. Somebody added me from middle school, and I barely remembered her. Then, she starts talking to me on chat and asks, "So, what have you been doing since middle school?"

Yep, be warned about the high school thing....once one of them finds you, they come out in droves!
I'm kind of glad to reconnect with some of them, but not all of them!

[chriskisn]

Yeah sure there are pros and cons to facebook, and personally other than keeping in touch with a couple of people I don't really care about most of it.

On an interesting and slightly scary note though, my wife's sister (who is 13) just joined facebook and after adding her as a friend I was looking at the pages of a couple of her other friends (we know some better than others). One young 13 year old girl had posted a photograph of herself in her underwear. Thankfully for her I don't know her parents or I might be making a phone call to them!

[1sttimelongtime]

I love facebook, though I was extremely reluctant to join. I thought it was totally stupid. To avoid high school and college friends I have no interest in, I just put in a fake age (I think it says I am 70, or something) and my dog is my profile picture.

I like that fact that I can keep contact with friends I care about but dont talk to all that often, and know what is going on with them and how they're doing. Its turned aquaintances into better friends and it got me a nearly new free camera when I commented that I was in the market for a new one and a friend sent me one he just purchased but didnt really like!

I hid all the stupid crap and deleted some fools I made the mistake of friending. I'm glad I joined.

[jenniferuk]

Pro--I thought I was too old to FB but I love it! It's been helpful since we moved from London to the US--fun to see/share baby pics, updates with friends, former colleagues, etc without having to write or feel guilty for not writing. I like that my younger family members / children of friends have 'friended' me. As Jannie wrote, I like that I can keep information private.

Cons-can get out of control / easy to hit friend overload. There is some pressure to 'accept a friend request' even when you'd rather not bother to do so (some people are very sensitive to rejection and will resend the friend request). Lots of extraneous detail, although as written above it's possible to block mafia, farmville, etc updates. I block all that and keep a smallish group of friends so that I can keep up. I don't know how people juggle 1000 friends and all the updates.

We had an office firing recently--a professional individual had a bad day at work, vented publicly on FB, and violated a confidentiality clause. I am shocked at what some will post...

All-in-all I would reco FB--it's good fun once you get the privacy and hide settings adjusted.

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by jenniferuk

There is some pressure to 'accept a friend request' even when you'd rather not bother to do so

Yes, I agree. I feel like I have to add everyone who asks. This guy, who I always considered a bully, asked me for an add yesterday. I reluctantly added him.

You know, I parted ways with many of these people, intentionally. Now I feel like I'm forced to communicate with them.

[ILoveFM]

I am too addicted to Facebook.

But a Pro to facebook is that I am able to keep in contact with old friends and new friends, and find friends and family that I don't see very often and have a way to communicate with them other than the phone.

A con is that it's a procrastnation tool for me not to do my homework. I literally spend too much time on the freakin' site.

I'm open to friending all ledgies though

[jannieC]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Yes, I agree. I feel like I have to add everyone who asks. This guy, who I always considered a bully, asked me for an add yesterday. I reluctantly added him.

You know, I parted ways with many of these people, intentionally. Now I feel like I'm forced to communicate with them.

This is interesting to me because I love how I can be all passive and not respond to a friend request. I don't have to blatantly be dismissive or mean.

I was fortunate to have been able to enjoy my high school years, socially. I am a very nostalgic person by nature, so I'm cool with getting (briefly) in touch with pretty much anyone from my past.

[David]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Yes, I agree. I feel like I have to add everyone who asks. This guy, who I always considered a bully, asked me for an add yesterday. I reluctantly added him.

You know, I parted ways with many of these people, intentionally. Now I feel like I'm forced to communicate with them.

When you delete a friend on FB, does that person know? Is there some sort of message sent automatically?

Why not just accept friend requests from people you don't particularly like, & then if two or three weeks go by & you don't hear anything direct or personal from that "friend," go ahead & delete. If you're ever asked about it, your reply is, "When I didn't hear anything, I figured you either deleted or changed your account."

[golddustdrummer]

Originally Posted by David

When you delete a friend on FB, does that person know? Is there some sort of message sent automatically?

Why not just accept friend requests from people you don't particularly like, & then if two or three weeks go by & you don't hear anything direct or personal from that "friend," go ahead & delete. If you're ever asked about it, your reply is, "When I didn't hear anything, I figured you either deleted or changed your account."

^ thats a good idea!
There is no message/notification sent that you deleted them.
There also isn't a notification that you ignored their friend request.