How do you prepare to say goodbye to your mother??

[shebop]

What you said makes perfect sense to me.....
I knew for about a year that my father would not be around for long.
By the time he passed away I had already finished the grieving process and many people, I believe, felt that my reaction was cold. It wasn't that at all, it was just that my dad really hadn't been himself for so long that his passing was sort of anticlimactic.
As long as you are at peace with your feelings and your relationship that should be all that matters.
I am sorry you are having to experience this - it is never easy.

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by Villavic

My mother got diabetes hypotyroids years ago. Since last year she got complicated (because of diabetes) the kidneys and now she needs dialisis 3 times per week.

in late august she got a surgeon to get a graft, an artificial vein for better manage of the surgeon. Well, she got high blood pressure (really high) during the surgeon and she didn't wake up completely after that. It's been more than a month and she does not talk, doesn't look at you, doesn't dialogue, though she answers small phrases when you asked her something. Her brain was affected because of that high pressure

Doctors have not found exactly what happens, but a big suspect is that she got a brain infarct or stroke (don't know translation) and I'm already thinking she will never come back completely.

The point of this thread is, how do you prepare to this? I mean, last time I talk to her, a real talk not a single hello like yesterday, was on august 22. And it's like she is not here anymore. Though I see her.

I guess that if she dies in few months, I won't cry a lot since I already miss her and I already cried, like 2 days ago. But I don't know, I still see her every day and feel her presence, though at the same time it's like she is not there.. I think people with relatives that suffer Alzheimer may understand me. It's a weird sensation, it's like I already now I have to say goodbye to her, so when she passes away it won't affect me a lot, but.. I don't know. maybe it will.
Cause I already feel I said goodbye to the person I used to know. It's like part of her has been gone. I don't know, it's weird, really weird.

I tried to prepare myself for my father dying. I thought I WAS...but after he was gone the reality of set in. Your brain just doesnt comprehend it I suppose. I even told a friend of mine a week before he died that I was "okay" with the last time I had spent with him, and that if he did die, I'd be happy with our last meeting. THAT was stupid thing to say...because not only was it not untrue and a presumption but after Dad died I felt a little like I was betraying him by saying that...? I suppose I should be grateful for the years we had together, and that there were no cross words between us at the end. I just wish now that I'd spent more time with him. I could've gone to his house for Christmas 2005 and didnt...things like that. Never pass up a chance to tell them you love them and visit them. It's one thing that you know you wont regret; but you will regret not doing it.