Needin' Ledgie prayers...

[GypsySorcerer]

I'm still keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers, Brian.

[estranged4life]

this up again, Doesnt seem like it has been 1 month since my Mother passed on from this life...Seems like it has been much longer.

I still love & miss her...Someday I will come to terms with her death, But I'll never get over it.

[msLinds]

I am sorry to hear about your Mother Brian passing away.I will say some prayers for her and You and Your family.

[wondergirl9847]

I can't believe it's been a month already. Your mom is always with ya, Brian.

[estranged4life]

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

[amber]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

[Red]

Hang in there Brian, this isn't an easy time. Try to seek solace in Debbie and your siblings. My thoughts are with you.

[CelticGypsy]

Brian,

My heart goes out to you and your family. This is still new to you but someday you will be able to look at her photos or see a video she was in and smile and not shed any tears while remembering her beautiful face and sweet voice.
It will be six years since my wonderful mom passed away ( March 23) but it sometimes feel just like it happened yesterday. Be strong and remember we are always here with you. Your mom is smiling down upon you and shouting from the Heavens what a sweet and wonderful son she has. God bless

Originally Posted by estranged4life

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

[madformac]

Is it really 12 months? My goodness how quick time goes by.

It's odd you know. In cases where even a close friend of mine has lost a loved one, and this might sound awful, I tend to maybe not remember as I probably should. However, it's different here with you Brian. I think both the circumstances involved and the fact you are so well liked around here means most Ledgies offer real and genuine sympathy. You have had an awful time of it and I extend my sympathies to yourself, Debbie and your family at this difficult time. Stay strong dude.

[GypsySorcerer]

My thoughts are with you and yours today, Brian. Take care.

[jannieC]

Time is the only healer with this, and you've only had one year, Brian. My heart does go out to you, because I can still remember how it felt when I lost my dad (20 years ago, when I was 17). Take all the time you need to grieve today. xo

[GODDESS6]

Originally Posted by estranged4life

1 year since I lost my Mother...Just doesnt seem right that 12 months have passed since the last March 21st.

It hasnt gotten any easier, But I'm sure as time goes by it will (It was easier with my Dad's death since I was only 7 years old at the time)...

I cant help but dwell on her death daily, She died way too early, She should have had plenty of more years left and should have passed on her own terms, Not the way it ended...

But life goes on even if it does sometimes feel unfair...I never take anything or anyone for granted and I enjoy the trivial and simplistic things (Been through too much **** the last few years...I guess the "Big Dude" upstairs likes to challenge me, And yet I am still here..."Bring it on" is all I can say!)

I love you Mom, Hope you're having the time of your life in the afterlife...I'll see you someday.

Brian j.

awww brian bless you, it doesn't seem like a yr you are right, but your mother should feel comfort in what a great son you are & carrying her memory on~ & as a child who has also lost a parent, april 15th it'll be 21 yrs since my father passed, tho the saddness doesn't go away, it does give way to wonderful memories & does get just a bit easier, i wish the same for you ~

[eclipse]

Brian- I want to share something with you...and everyone on here. I guess as hard as it is to lose someone that you love- I have honestly come to the conclusion that when your time is up it's up. Whether you are in an airline crash, car accident, or surgery, or just sitting in a chair on a sunny day. I don't know if that is fatalistic, but it helps me to make sense of senseless deaths- I just think if your Mom hadn't been where she was that day and she was someplace else, she still would have died because it was her time.

For example. I read in the paper this terrible story about how a few women went out partying- got buzzed- knew better than to drive home so they called a cab. Cab picks them up, (cab driver is another woman who is 7 months pregnant), they start their journey and some idiot-drunk-loser- runs through a stop sign Hits the cab- kills one of the passengers intantly, Breaks the Cabbie's pelvis-emergency c-section for the baby- Baby dies, two other people in the cab are in the hospital; with life threating injuries..... It makes no sense, and it is so very sad.
I have always believed that things happen to us for a reason, and although we can't see the reason until much later...there is actually some sense to it.

I was so sad when I lost my Dad, heartbroken felt like he should have lived for a lot longer, but he didn't. However, because of his death, my Mom and I have become much closer``which more than likely would not have happened had he not died`` With his passing he brought us closer -
I don't know if I am explaining thsi correctly but all I am trying to say is that you have to keep going, your Mom would have wanted that and you know that.
Brian, your time is not here yet, it could be in a year or it could be in 30 years but when your number is up- it's up. So live every day that you are here--and be sad because your Mom is gone, but please...stay strong!
hugs,
~~eclipse~~

[wondergirl9847]

My friend, my thoughts are with you today. (((HUGS))) I also cannot believe it's been a year already. 2005 was a very difficult year, but as time goes on, the pain will subside, but the love will never die.

Just last week, we passed the 7 month anniversary of my cousin's death. I feel like I'm living in fast forward these days.

I pray that this year will be your best ever and peace overwhelms you.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by wondergirl9847

I feel like I'm living in fast forward these days.

the best description of my life since last March (Cant remember the Keith Urban concert we both saw on March 10th in OKC...Those memories are absolutely buried under the rest of the month of March), my life is in fast forward mode. I can now safely say I understand the lyrics to the Dream Theater song "These Walls".

It is shocking that at age 35 I have neither parent and no grand-parents among the living (In 2007 I will be the same age my Father was when he died)..."Isnt that weird?"

As for what eclipse said about "when your time is up...it's up". I believe that...Always have and will. I have to live with the guilt daily (As do 2 of my older siblings) that Mom called each of us and asked us if she should have this "elective surgery" to calm her fear (According to her own physicians records she should "Have no foreseeable problems by having the procedure performed at this time") and I told her if it will make her feel better to "go for it".

I also have the guilt of the last conversation I ever had with my Mom, On March 9th, When Mom told me on the phone "I think I am going to die...", I responded with "No you're not...You're too f**king mean to die..." (Again, Trying to relax my Mom's fear), to which she responded "I know..." (She was more worried about my health woes during that last phone conversation than she was with her own...)

I can handle her death in a way, But sure as I sit her and type, I will not let what happened to my Mother happen to another family due to some medical "incompetence".