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[The Tower]

Originally Posted by sparky

Oh...

I didn't mean to make you sad. The story just kind of flooded out. It is that time of year. Fall makes me think of things that didn't make it. It sure made me upset thinking about that.

Well, I was going to go into a whole thing on this, but it ends up making me upset.

I wish that everyone could understand how difficult it is to grow up gay. There are so many things that are available to most of straight society that are denied to gays. Although, situations are starting to change, it's still sad.

Proms, courtship, puppy love, going on dates, sharing dinner time with one's family, having your boyfriend/girlfriend be an open part of one's family life- and on, and on, and on.... Missing out on all that kind of stuff when you're in your teens and early twenties leaves a void so that when you actually do start to "date" it's usually based on hooking up for sex and then doing the whole courtship thing- totally reversed.

I know that your story wasn't necessarily specific to what I'm saying, but I just thought I'd blab about it. I grew up the youngest of five siblings and my brothers and sister always had a girlfriend/boyfriend that was "part of the family". Hanging out and such. Completely missing out on that kind of life-sharing isolated me even further from my already distant relationship with my family members.

All that stuff is so sad and such a shame because it's all based on ignorance, fear and intolerance. All for nothing. So much loss. And like Hillary was saying, regret is a bitch. It's hard to get over, but my wish is that the teens of today and the future will not have to live that kind of life.

[BTFLCHLD]

Originally Posted by The Tower

All that stuff is so sad and such a shame because it's all based on ignorance, fear and intolerance. All for nothing. So much loss. And like Hillary was saying, regret is a bitch. It's hard to get over, but my wish is that the teens of today and the future will not have to live that kind of life.

amen

[Raeven Skye]

Originally Posted by The Tower

All that stuff is so sad and such a shame because it's all based on ignorance, fear and intolerance. All for nothing. So much loss. And like Hillary was saying, regret is a bitch. It's hard to get over, but my wish is that the teens of today and the future will not have to live that kind of life.

My best friend (since we were 8) is gay, and I watched him go thru all the things you mentioned, including breaking the heart of his lifelong girlfriend (also a best friend). He wanted so much to love her, and marry her, but it was not meant to be. I was supportive, and loved him, but he had to work it out on his on. I hate the fact that, so many years later, teens, and people of all ages still have such struggles, and become trapped in lies just because society doesn't understand. It boggles my mind! If they could see his life thru my eyes, they would have no questions.

[Richard B]

When will humanity realize that love knows nothing of gender.

Please. Someday?

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by Richard B

When will humanity realize that love knows nothing of gender.

Please. Someday?

I thought we were moving toward that until the Neocon Dealth Cult came along. Things are surreal these days. Gays can marry in MA though. Hopefully other states will follow.

Towie, it was very sad reading about the struggles you go through. I know it must have been difficult but to see it laid out like that breaks my heart. If I have a child and he winds up being gay his boyfriend will always be welcome.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Oh gosh you've been reading my mind...and probably many others as well. I really, reall hope that future generations don't have it the same way we have at all.

I think about this all the time. I say things about it to people and many of them question my sanity, it seems. Gender has nothing on love. It's so insignificant in the face of it.

You have to get away from those people that can't accept it. At the very least shield your heart from them. They're not worth your misery.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

There are some straight boys on here though, like 2 or something.

wow! Big shock huh?

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

I think about this all the time. I say things about it to people and many of them question my sanity, it seems. Gender has nothing on love. It's so insignificant in the face of it.

For some reason, it's an embarassment to those who are not gay. Sometimes I think they are struggling with their own insecurities. It's not about me....it's about them.

The first thing my mom said to me when I came out (after the "You're going to get AIDS speech ) was "You know you can never bring a guy home." At the time, I was ashamed of it, too. I was the outcast of the family. I was the one who never would have a big fancy wedding like all of my cousins.

After the initial shock of it all.....and for shows like "Will and Grace"...my parents eventually accepted it mainly because the insecurities went away. The unknown was finally known. They finally "understood" my lifestyle and knew it wasn't all sex and drugs. And they don't take every word of the bible so seriously.... If that were the case, we would all be snake charmers.

[markolas]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

The first thing my mom said to me when I came out (after the "You're going to get AIDS speech ) was "You know you can never bring a guy home." At the time, I was ashamed of it, too. I was the outcast of the family. I was the one who never would have a big fancy wedding like all of my cousins.

See, I can't deal with confrontation, which is the reason why I haven't told my family. The last time I was at my parents' house, I used my brother's laptop to access my livejournal, hoping that after I had left, curiosity would get the best of him...I'm not sure if my plan worked, but I haven't gotten a phone call from any of them since I got back home, over two months ago. I'm not sure what conclusions to draw there.

Anyway...if my mom ever said anything to me like what yours said to you (and I wouldn't put it past her...but she'd probably throw in a 'your going to hell' too), I swear I'd never speak to any of my relatives again. I don't really like them that much anyway.

[The Tower]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

I thought we were moving toward that until the Neocon Dealth Cult came along. Things are surreal these days. Gays can marry in MA though. Hopefully other states will follow.

Towie, it was very sad reading about the struggles you go through. I know it must have been difficult but to see it laid out like that breaks my heart. If I have a child and he winds up being gay his boyfriend will always be welcome.

For me it has a happy ending, though. All three of my brothers and my sister married and subsequently divorced. My partner Geoffrey and I have been together twelve years, which is longer than any of my sibling's marriages lasted. My mom and dad and my siblings always say they like Geoffrey a lot more than me (my family has a teasing-type sense of humor).

So, while childhood and adolescence can really suck for gays, adulthood can be quite rewarding in some cases. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, ya know....

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by markolas

Anyway...if my mom ever said anything to me like what yours said to you (and I wouldn't put it past her...but she'd probably throw in a 'your going to hell' too), I swear I'd never speak to any of my relatives again. I don't really like them that much anyway.

It was terrible at the time. I knew my parents well, though. I was ready for the backlash and could take it. Deep down, they didn't feel that way....after all the anger and sadness came out....all became well. We became closer after that. I lived an embarassed life before that, but now I can go visit them and be me. Plus, I've been out to them for 6-7 years....the fog has lifted greatly.

[wondergirl9847]

I was the one who never would have a big fancy wedding like all of my cousins.

Traditional, fancy weddings are overrated.

If I were to get married, I want to wear an ice blue dress (like the one in The Princess Bride...what? Shut up), even though I'm a virgin...I hate white wedding dresses. They are boring as heck. Everyone would be given a lei when they came through the door perhaps. Umm...the actual service would take 15-20 minutes TOPS. I hate mushiness. There would be no singing, no stupid a$$ mushy "I will love you till I die" songs. I may even play something totally out of line...like....Bust a Move...like they did on My Name is Earl last night. LMAO!

[ontheEdgeof17]

Originally Posted by wondergirl9847

If I were to get married, I want to wear an ice blue dress (like the one in The Princess Bride...what? Shut up), even though I'm a virgin...I hate white wedding dresses. They are boring as heck. Everyone would be given a lei when they came through the door perhaps. Umm...the actual service would take 15-20 minutes TOPS. I hate mushiness. There would be no singing, no stupid a$$ mushy "I will love you till I die" songs. I may even play something totally out of line...like....Bust a Move...like they did on My Name is Earl last night. LMAO!

I could so hear I'm So Afraid being played while you walk down the aisle, with a big picture of Lindsey and Keith Urban over the alter.

[GypsySorcerer]

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

I could so hear I'm So Afraid being played while you walk down the aisle, with a big picture of Lindsey and Keith Urban over the alter.

I could see that. "Red Rover" would have to be in there, too.

[wondergirl9847]

Ya'll are scaring me...you know me too well.

Actually, maybe I can raise enough $$$$ to get Liddy to play at the wedding...hmmmm.....he could do I Am Waiting....while the folks are waiting for me to walk down the aisle. HEE!

We are waiting....we are waiting....