Gay Gay Gay

[KarmaContestant]

Originally Posted by ReFleetwoodMac

Why is it that homosexual males are attracted other effeminate males? Why not just spring for the real thing and go after the female? I would think that if you're going to do the homosexual thing, you would want to get the most out of it and get regular males, not female impersonators.

I have wondered this many times. However, I am a homosexual man, and I do not like the femmy types. At all. I think they're annoying and ridiculous - and to be honest, I have always believed it was just an effected behavior, caused in part by environmental stimulation. Effected for so long that it becomes the norm, and thus, a huge turnoff.

Granted, all gay men have a slightly effeminate quality to them...which is part of the appeal as well. I don't know! It's hard to explain!

A female impersonator out of her costume can be an exceptionally masculine creature, indeed. Do not ever let the wig and dress fool you.

[RavenOfRhiannon]

A Lot of my friends are effeminate, and I love them just the same. My BF happens to be a very masculine type, but in the end it doesn't matter, as I would love him even if he starting flailing his wrist around.

(I know plenty of heterosexual men who are married to women some might consider manly)

[ryan8472]

I dunno...I act a little bit effeminate. Not overly so, but in some ways. It's just how I am though, I don't *try* to act like that or anything. My "boyfriend" acts similarly too.

[dissention]

My friend Nick is as effeminate as they come. Queeny with a capital Q. I love him to death, but I can't say that I would find it attractive in a partner or a phuck buddy. It would drive me nuts and probably make me flaccid.

[ryan8472]

Originally Posted by dissention

My friend Nick is as effeminate as they come. Queeny with a capital Q. I love him to death, but I can't say that I would find it attractive in a partner or a phuck buddy. It would drive me nuts and probably make me flaccid.

Well I guess I feel the same. I like a strong man.

[dissention]

Originally Posted by ryan8472

Well I guess I feel the same. I like a strong man.

It's the feminine voice and the drinking from a glass with a raised pinky and the overdramatics. Cumulatively, it's one giant turn-off to me, but if others like it, have some hot and dirty fun.

[markolas]

It's gotten to where the whole obssession with "straight-acting" that some gay men have is incredibly annoying to me. I have been attracted to men that might be considered "effeminate." Just be yourself. I have a friend (gay man) who thinks men dressing in drag is "not appropriate." His attitude strikes me as the same as the "straight-acting" thing...these people aren't comfortable with being gay, and it's kind of sad.

[sparky]

Originally Posted by markolas

It's gotten to where the whole obssession with "straight-acting" that some gay men have is incredibly annoying to me. I have been attracted to men that might be considered "effeminate." Just be yourself. I have a friend (gay man) who thinks men dressing in drag is "not appropriate." His attitude strikes me as the same as the "straight-acting" thing...these people aren't comfortable with being gay, and it's kind of sad.

Straightacting is a misnomer. These guys aren't so straight with a di*k in their mouths. It is about being yourself and being relaxed. The men I find attractive are calm, confident, and grounded. And I like deep voices. Thus, I like masculinity. I think that a lot of gay men have issues with their fathers and reject everything their fathers represent, and sometimes that is why it is so easy for them to pick up all that over the top Paul Lynde Jack MacFarlane schtick. Which is not authentic to them either. I totally rejected my dad for awhile, and if I hadn't, when I was young I would have been a full on jock and probably joined the military. In my twenties I relaxed into the guy I am now. The queeny stuff is funny at a party, and fine with a friend, but a certain erection killer for me.

I used to hang a bit at a homo website called straightacting.com. It was pretty slow, but there were guys there who liked to talk about rock and roll, pickup trucks, outdoor stuff....I got a kick out of it. I took their test and got this funny little sig pic. I thought about putting it in my profile a long time ago.

[markolas]

Originally Posted by sparky

Straightacting is a misnomer. These guys aren't so straight with a di*k in their mouths.

Well, I think so too, but I'm not the one who coined the term.

If "masculine" (whatever that means) is how you really are, then that's fine...what I find aggravating is when guys go overboard with the machismo because they're obviously uncomfortable with their homosexuality. Like guys who refuse to bottom, for instance.

I had a roommate who was gay, but didn't want anyone who was not gay to know about it. When I lived with him and we were interviewing potential third roommates, he asked me once if I would be willing to keep my being gay a secret. I told him no, and he actually wound up telling these people that he was bi, even though he'd never been with a woman. He would even try to talk about girls with some of these straight guys. And other things, like sports, which I knew he wasn't into, but he pretended to be so straight guys would think he was a "real man." Or something. It was sooo painful to watch.

[KarmaContestant]

Originally Posted by markolas

It's gotten to where the whole obssession with "straight-acting" that some gay men have is incredibly annoying to me. I have been attracted to men that might be considered "effeminate." Just be yourself. I have a friend (gay man) who thinks men dressing in drag is "not appropriate." His attitude strikes me as the same as the "straight-acting" thing...these people aren't comfortable with being gay, and it's kind of sad.

You know, I see your point. The 'straight acting' thing can get annoying....but, really, it shouldn't be about the acting at all. I would venture to say that some of the femmy guys that we've been talking about are also 'acting' and not just being themselves....even so, I don't look down on the cross dressing guys - they are having fun, and that's no crime, but it's just not something that I'm interested in on a personal level.

While many gay men are pretty homophobic (it's true) there are some of us who are not, and our disinterest in effeminate men stems merely from that - disinterest. I'm not interested in dating a narcoleptic either, but it doesn't mean that I'm uncomfortable around them. I just want a boyfriend who can stay awake. And one who carries himself like a man instead of a high school girl from the Bronx.

[strandinthewind]

Ya know - I think all of this pigeonholing people tend to do is silly. Everyone has many facets to their personalities. It shocks the shiitte out of people when I tell them I used to be a defensive tackle. I never really show that "I will jack you jaw right now" side of me very often. Normally, I am at a table with my posse cracking jokes. So, I think people should be who they want to be and all this judging is for the birds. I mean no one is perfect

[sparky]

Originally Posted by KarmaContestant

I have wondered this many times. However, I am a homosexual man, and I do not like the femmy types. At all. I think they're annoying and ridiculous - and to be honest, I have always believed it was just an effected behavior, caused in part by environmental stimulation. Effected for so long that it becomes the norm, and thus, a huge turnoff.

Socialization. I have seen guys move to LA and turn into queens before my eyes, because all their new friends act that way.

Granted, all gay men have a slightly effeminate quality to them...[which is part of the appeal as well. I don't know! It's hard to explain!

Not in my more recent experience. The further I have gotten away from the trendy young weho type crowd (which I never was really a part of anyway)and into just doing things I like, I find I have met a number of men who don't take part in "gay culture" at all. And they are just normal guys. Completely masculine. Being gay doesn't define them and they hardly give it a second thought. Works for me.

I have friends who are full on flamers, and friends who can not elicit a glance in small town truck stop. Takes all kinds.